Tinkle
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Joined: 11/2/2005
Msg: 51 | |
| Why don't many guys have the guts to say they aren't interested?
Posted: 11/11/2005 12:14:22 AM | "Men Only Want What they cant Have"
Yup. Wanting something you do have is like looking for your keys when you already have them. And someone don't tell me they "want" something they already have, that's appreciation. Sorry to split hairs but I need revenge, I got a really bad hair cut today.  | |
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| Why don't many guys have the guts to say they aren't interested?
Posted: 11/11/2005 1:23:44 AM |
People are shallow...not just men, women are also equally as shallow. Men want women that refuse them, and women want the men they could never catch the eye of. (Although, personally, I've never wanted a woman that said "I'm not interested." Hey if you not interested...you're not interested. I can't WANT a woman that DOESN"T want the likes of me. Waste of time and energy.)
Good answer, Jetplague, the operative word being PEOPLE ... there are jerks in both genders as any intelligent person can see. My God, there are a lot of bitter women (and men!) out there, aren't there?
It reminds me of a great joke:
Why don't cannibals eat divorced women?
Too bitter! | |
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| Why don't many guys have the guts to say they aren't interested?
Posted: 11/11/2005 6:10:56 AM | | You know what this has happened to me quite a few times well I think it is when they meet they think you're a nice person but were really a) only after a casual thing really no matter what they said to u or b) they thought u were really nice person but no spark on meeting and they didnt want to hurt your feelings. I get the old china where a guy tells me what he thinks I want to hear but I have caught onto it now where they say oh I'd love a long term thing with u and all that jazz u meet up and after u have have sex whether it first day u meet or 3 months after they disappear as it was a challenge for them xjx | |
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| Why don't many guys have the guts to say they aren't interested?
Posted: 11/11/2005 1:16:34 PM | | I need to vent a little on this topic myself. Starting chatting with a guy (on another site) back in July. We chatted off and on for about 2 months. Within 1 month of chatting, though, we agreed we wanted to meet, for we seemed to have lots in common. But, between his schedule and mine, it took another 2 months for us to finally meet. We met for a quick drink - about an hour and the vibes were good. We even did a little smooching in the parking lot.....lol. But that doesnt always mean he wants to see you again. So, I kept a clear head and sent the obligitory email, saying it was great meeting him and gauged his interest on meeting again. He replied he was interested and suggests we meet the following Friday. But on Thursday, he had to cancel. 2 weeks go by.....nothing.....only a few chats here are there. So, a tad frustrated, I sent an email flat out asking....."are you interested or not? If not, I will move on." Within 2 seconds, he messages me to say he is interested, just really busy. Okay....whew....take a deep breath. However, more silence and another week goes by with almost no contact. So, I sent him a "let me know when your free to hang out" email. He shoots back...."hows friday?" I tell him Friday is good. You got it! Come Thursday, he cancelled. That was 3 weeks ago. I havent heard anything from him since. I can understand busy - really I can. But, what I can't understand is why someone can't admit that they don't want to make time to see you. You give them the chance to opt out gracefully....but instead, they leave you twisting.....grrrrrrrrrrr. He is off my buddy list now and I not holding my breath expecting to have a date with him at this point. Thanks for letting me rant. I feel better already. | |
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| Why don't many guys have the guts to say they aren't interested?
Posted: 11/11/2005 1:45:25 PM | | Ladies . The man who DOES care what YOU think lives in wisconsin . He DOES care what YOU say . I would never no longer talk with you . That is not me . BUT , one woman has been putting me off . I say next weekend . she says ok . by wednesday she tells me no . not a good time . ok . then I try for the next weekend . AGAIN she says coems and says no . THEN , this weekend I was to meet her and again she said " does not look good . " Another girl has not used the "let's be freinds " saying but , talks of other boyfreinds while out with me . Will I stop talking with either of them no . | |
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| Why don't many guys have the guts to say they aren't interested?
Posted: 11/11/2005 4:10:36 PM | salut tout le monde,
what are we? elementary school kids? Be nice, tell her, then she's free to move on, and go where it clicks. We are too old to pretend, life is short, move on. Then i believe the person can feel good about herself more this way...when you don't say anything you end up feeling worse about yourself. With experience, we know it will not click with everyone and as life travellers we can help steer each other in the right direction and even give pointers......hey why not!!!
Cheers!!!! | |
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| Why don't many guys have the guts to say they aren't interested?
Posted: 11/11/2005 5:06:08 PM |
The old, "I don't want to hurt her" thing, if you gentlemen would be truly honest, translates to I don't want to have to go through an uncomfortable situation.
I agree with this, to a degree. But you are also denying a mans ability to feel for someone they dont wish to be romantically involved with. I think that is a little short sighted. | |
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| Why don't many guys have the guts to say they aren't interested?
Posted: 11/11/2005 5:58:18 PM | | i disagree with this title. I find it mostly to be women on hear. They read the e-mail, dont return anything, then a couple days go by and they delete it. I know it doesnt hurt to try but at least give a reason instead of straight out deleting it. | |
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| Why don't many guys have the guts to say they aren't interested?
Posted: 11/11/2005 8:00:58 PM |
The old, "I don't want to hurt her" thing, if you gentlemen would be truly honest, translates to I don't want to have to go through an uncomfortable situation.
I agree with this, to a degree. But you are also denying a mans ability to feel for someone they dont wish to be romantically involved with. I think that is a little short sighted.
Good point, Crunch! It's just laziness and callousness, there really is no excuse! | |
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| Why don't many guys have the guts to say they aren't interested?
Posted: 11/11/2005 8:16:48 PM | I seem to have the same problem here. That is why I dont usually email someone first. Im a shy girl. And if I take the time to say hey, I like you. The least you can do is write back to let me not you are not interest. Its not gonna break my heart any. Im not a super model here. And I know alot of guys are shallow. But come on!! If you write to me and I am not into you, I will let you know. Because im a  | |
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| Why don't many guys have the guts to say they aren't interested?
Posted: 11/11/2005 9:20:17 PM | (applies to both genders) I've learned that when someone's interested, they call; if they don't call, they're not interested and it's time to move on. It only takes a couple of minutes to call, send an email or IM, and no one is THAT busy that they can't find time to do this - if they're interested. Not only do most people have computers, many are able to text or email from their mobile phones; they have a phone or can find one at work or even a pay phone...so there's no excuse for not calling, except they're not interested.
And if they don't call because they're playing hard to get, then be glad they're not calling - they're not worth your time or interest. | |
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| Why don't many guys have the guts to say they aren't interested?
Posted: 11/12/2005 8:47:50 AM | Yeah, what she said. ^^^
And, I guess I was negligent. Got a couple calls on the answering machine that I didn’t return cause I’ve been busy packing for the big move coming up. These are old friends, not “dates” and I’d better get to calling them back pronto.
Who knows, maybe they called to help me pack. . . . . Ain’t likely, but stranger things have happened. ;-)
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| Why don't many guys have the guts to say they aren't interested?
Posted: 11/12/2005 9:24:52 AM |
I only wish that I could stay away from the people who suck and meet the good ones. I'm not having much luck with that though.
I'm surprised an intelligent woman like you hasn't realized that you have to look actively for the "good ones". And just because they don't apeal to you doesn't necessarily meant that they "suck". | |
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| Why don't many guys have the guts to say they aren't interested?
Posted: 11/12/2005 7:32:46 PM | It truly happens to the best of us. Meet a guy, Hit it off, and I mean hit it off. Does he answer my emails, nope, does he call?? nope, And of course It took me a couple of days to truly figure out that he wasnt calling me and wasnt as interested as I thought.
I used to think of life like a fairytail!! But then I turned thirty and realized it was more like a puzzle, even though the piece looks like it should fit no matter how hard I push it, it just wont fit. So until you truly find the right piece try it out, just dont push it too hard. | |
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| Why don't many guys have the guts to say they aren't interested?
Posted: 11/13/2005 3:35:33 AM | Wow Leafgirl that is my question exactly. I met a guy in person from a site. He came to my home 3 weekends in a row.....said he really liked me alot and I felt we made a great connection. Then not one word from him... I don't understand. It would hurt my feelins less if he just said the chemistry wasn't there or he met someone else.....just anything rather than nothing. I know how you feel..... Hope it goes better for you soon.  | |
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| Why don't many guys have the guts to say they aren't interested?
Posted: 11/13/2005 3:53:53 AM | Posted By: livetolearn on 11/13/2005 11:35:33 AM
Subject: Why don't many guys have the guts to say they aren't interested?
Message: Wow Leafgirl that is my question exactly. I met a guy in person from a site. He came to my home 3 weekends in a row.....said he really liked me alot and I felt we made a great connection. Then not one word from him... I don't understand. It would hurt my feelins less if he just said the chemistry wasn't there or he met someone else.....just anything rather than nothing. I know how you feel..... Hope it goes better for you soon.
On the upside I met a guy on a site afterwards I talked to about a half and the next day he had delivered a dozen white roses with chocolates and a stuffed cute frog. sweet huh. So hang in there.  | |
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| Why don't many guys have the guts to say they aren't interested?
Posted: 11/13/2005 9:03:06 AM | ohh..come on people..
It is hard for a person to tell another person that they no longer are interested in them!!..
They dont want the tears...the anger...the accusations...the pathetic outbursts...the suicide threats...etc. It is easier for them to just disappear then to deal with all that. We all say that we would rather hear the truth bleah bleah bleah...but it still hurts..and the person who has lost interested just doesnt want any part of dealing with that.
No one can really explain it,Everyone is different, and It happens to everyone at some point or another. We just have to take a hint...accept it..and move on!!
Keep our heads up and keep smiling!! Accept the fact...it just wasnt meant to be. | |
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