| | are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married? Page 16 of 21 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21) | | Well I'm not leery of men over 30 who have never been married as I am a woman over 30 who has never been married! I guess the problem for some 30 something men is that they seem to be only interested in younger 20 something women who may be a bit wary because they think by the time you're in your 30's you are properly a grown-up and should have got your life sorted! Anyway, even then I don't think it's that much of a problem for men as these days the 30's are the new 20's and not many men seem to get married before they're 30 anyhow... | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 10/7/2008 8:08:52 AM | I actually really respect people who take marriage seriously enough not to go into one because they are not sure of it yet. To me it says they are independant, not afraid of being on thier own, and responsible/careful enough not to 'get trapped' so to speak. (sure, there are extremes, like commitment phobes but there are extremes to every situation)
Marriage is serious. Given a choice, Id rather meet someone who has not been married, then someone who entered into a marriage (or multiple marriages) thinking it was something that could be reversed with ease...as so many seem to do today. | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 10/7/2008 12:01:04 PM | The women who are leery are fools..plain and simple.
I'm kind of stunned to hear that there are people out there who actually
think there's something wrong with me becasue I am over 40 and single an
childless. There's actually another thread on here that accuses me and
guys like me of being selfish simply because I happen to now be 40 and
never been married.
Let's see, maybe I could have been married a couple of years ago, but I
needed to put my new career and my life on hold for a year and a half to
care for my elderly parents who both became I'll at the same time, then
I lost my father, and need to make sure my 82 year old mother could
function without her husband of 65 years..Yeah I guess that's selfish...
Maybe I could have gotten married in the 6 years prior to that but
suddenly after working in a career since I was 16, I had a "calling" and
ended up (kicking and screaming mind you) to devote 4 years to going to
graduate school, so I could help my fellow man...yeah I guess that's
selfish...
Maybe I could have gotten married in my early 30's, but let's see I was
"working on myself" doing all sorts of personal growth stuff, so I could
be a better human being...to potentially be a great partner to someone,
and an even better father than my father was to me, because he came from
a time where men didn't necessarily show affection, especially to their
male children because they wanted them to be tough, and I didn't want to
be that kind of parent/husband when I did find the right person to share
my life with...yeah I guess that was selfish of me..
Hmm maybe I could have gotten married when I was in my 20's, yeah that
would have been a great time, when I was struggling financially, and was
basically an arrogant and immature tiwt who didn't know anything about
life, and was barely a few years out on my own..hmm that's a great time
to get married eh? A better time to be a parent too eh?
Getting married when we're "young and dumb" as opposed to when we've
learned a a few things about life, the universe, how to be a partner is
"unselfish?" Or the reason the divorce rates are so high, and there's so
many people in there 30's and 40's on here (and in society) who are
listed as seperated or divorced???
Now that doesn't mean I haven't had relationships...I was engaged once
when I was young and dumb, and again about 5 years ago, neither of those
worked for various and complicated reason. I've also had a couple long
term relationships, where we realized that we weren't "it" for each
other and parted ways, and countless other dates and periods of dating
women for a short period on the quest for finding the right one...
There's no shame in being single....Our lives are complicated. I'd
rather be single and relatively happy than with the wrong one and be
miserable...I've been there way too many times. The only difference is,
that I didn't jump into anything...I'm looking for a rest of my life
partner, I only want to be married once. I'm glad I found out before
hand that it wasn't going to work, with whoever it was....that way I
won't be bitter and judgemental like many of the people who start
threads like this.
It took me nearly 40 years to finally love and accept myself, to feel comfortable in my own skin, worts and all...I did a LOT of personal work to get to this space, and went through a lot of pain in the interim...But it's gotten me to the point where I know enough not to drag my Baggage into a relationship...and how to treat someone with love, honor, and respect...
Haven't you heard that we can't truly love another if we don't love and accept ourselves? That doesn't happen over night, or in your 20's...or 30's often either...
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 10/8/2008 1:45:20 PM | | I feel that sometimes some women have their requirements like age limits, you are not even given a chance for them to even find out what kind of a person you age, just like some women having certain height requirements. | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/10/2008 2:39:34 PM | | Thanks for posting this question desrt dude,i was curious too.Like yourself felt very similar,i am 42 (young 42)single ,never married because i travelled for 15 years,did a lot of triathlon and marathon running so i was very selfish as i enjoyed my travelling time,now i am back in Dublin and getting into the dating scene as i have done what i wanted to do,hope that doesnt come across as being too selfish,just never met the woman i wanted to settle with.Now i can say i can give a relationship the attention and not be distracted by my running.Being more mature now means i can be aware of the needs of future partners than i was say ten years ago. | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/11/2008 2:06:53 PM | | R u serious??? I can ssure you not ALL guys over 30 who haven't married yet are players! Some of us lost a few years in their 20's helping care for a dying family member, travelling with a band for another few years, and going to school while maintaining a full-time job to make a better life for themself and their potential mate. Maybe you're just not a very good judge of character. Besides, why would I want to settle? Everybody is in such a rush to run to the altar anymore. That's why most marriages end in divorce. The problem with most people is that they don't know the difference between being lonely and being alone. Fortunately, I DO! | |
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razor6
| | Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 388 | |
| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/11/2008 4:36:39 PM | | Speaking for my self, I am single by choice, I would never put a significant -other in the position to not knowing if and when i will return home,some decisions put me in positions i have no choice but to be in, and it seems so many women are too quick to head to the alter, whats the hurry? sometimes a person can be lonely in a crowd and sometimes a person can be alone by choice | |
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razor6
| | Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 390 | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/11/2008 5:21:23 PM | | No, I'm certain that there are still *some* women who do not get leery of guys over 30 who have never been married. They *may* however get leery of 60-yr-old bachelors who room with their sisters and have a curfew. ... or something equally odd and unlikely. | |
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razor6
| | Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 392 | |
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razor6
| | Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 394 | |
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razor6
| | Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 396 | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 1/12/2009 8:16:16 PM | | I will be 36 next month and I have never been married.. I think we live in a world now where we can live out our dreams first then get married if we want later in life. it's not that I wouldn't want to be married but I like you just haven't found that person I want to be with forever | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 1/12/2009 8:27:13 PM | I'm leary of women that are leery of guys over 30 who have never been married.
So, I guess that I'm doubly screwed?
But, in my opinion, any woman so eager to prejudge someone on something so insignificant has got bigger problems that haven't surfaced yet.
More than likely, she's making the pre-judgment on some kind of experience that has colored her perspective and made her biased. | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 1/13/2009 12:44:50 AM | haha seems as this is a touchy subject... but my two cents is: What the hell ever happened to experiencing life and getting your life together and having a stable career in place BEFORE getting married/having kids? Sure it took me 33 years to get there but now all i meet is women that are divorced or have kids. Yet im the one thats got problems? Maybe if they had waited like myself, then they wouldnt be so "leery" of us guys that actually do have our lives together... all i can say is... men and women are all different and should never be placed into a certain "catagory". Explore a little... and maybe, just maybe you may find what you've always wanted.... hmmm novel thought. | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 1/13/2009 7:24:12 AM | My experience is most women are leery no matter what.
If they don't like certain things about you and nothing positive about you makes it worth it, they will ignore you.
If they don't like certain things about you but you have all the other things they want for a partner, they will date you but try to change you.
If you do have all the certain things that they desire in a partner, they will look to try to find something wrong with you. | |
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