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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?      Home login  
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 Zeppolino
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 451
are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married? Page 19 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
This man wouldn't be at all leery. Whether by virtue of a career path, or a desire to pursue other things throughout their twenties, I would see this as simply being a healthy choice.
 burning_daylight
Joined: 12/25/2010
Msg: 452
are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 1/2/2011 3:22:47 PM
I am definitely leary of men over 30 who have never taken the plunge. You figure by this point there would be at least ONE marriage in their past. It seems to me that there may be some issues with commitment going on there, and that's a little scary, especially if you find someone you really like.
 ferruginous
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 453
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are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 1/31/2011 9:39:30 AM

You figure by this point there would be at least ONE marriage in their past.
Why??? Maybe these men are people who have believed in waiting until they find the right person to get married to. Rather than thinking they need to go through at least one failed marriage, by the age of 30, while they are waiting for that right person.



It seems to me that there may be some issues with commitment going on there,
Could the same assumptions not be just as easilly made, about the divorced and seperated people?
If you were married, but didn't stay married, maybe it can be suspected that you are the one who has "issues with commitment".
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 454
are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 1/31/2011 11:25:08 PM
If I were you, I would bilk the freedom all the way into your forties !

heres an idea for you. Talk half your income, put it in an account that you cant touch, sell off half your stuff, and maybe move into a smaller place because you cant afford the other one on yoour now dwindled income

It aint what happens with a marriage, but it certainly the minimal price for a divorce.

you would probably loose the dog, the jeep, the convertible, the time share, and have to pay child support as well.....

or so say all my friends that got married at about 25-28 and are now divorced at 40-42.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 455
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are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 2/1/2011 5:53:47 AM
"If you were married, but didn't stay married, maybe it can be suspected that you are the one who has 'issues with commitment'."

I would actually say there is a difference.

Men in their 30s who aren't yet married have issues MAKING a commitment.

Men in their 30s who are divorced have issues KEEPING a commitment.

It seems some women prefer the men who can make a commitment, even if he can't keep it.
 MrFication
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 456
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are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 2/1/2011 1:33:33 PM
^^^^^
Reminds me of the women that will say that if a guy doesn't have enough experience (past partners) he won't have the know how to succeed in a long term relationship with them. I find it odd when I hear this.....so by having lots of short relationships a person is better suited for a long one? So the guy that has had very few relationships is less likely to have the long term potential? Someone with more failures(?) at something is better at something than someone with less? As a numbers game it can make sense....that a guy that strikes out more is more likely to hit a homer if he is at bat a lot more often, when the guy that rarely strikes out only bats once in a while.

One of the issues, I had one mention is that the kid thing is a biggie...because if the guy doesn't have any of his own, he won't know how to interact with hers. Another thing I've read is that a few women have a set number of kids by a set date in mind well ahead of time. Once they have reached that number, they are done and not wanting to be with a guy that may want kids, such that he might want them with her. It would be easier for her to look for a guy that already has some and knows he doesn't want more.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 457
are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 2/1/2011 2:47:00 PM
No, not leery. Things are different today than years ago.

As for the kid thing, I'm not sure if any men ever experienced what I have, but I lived with kids for a very very long time and I have close (and yes everyone says they are close to their nieces and nephews, but I'm actually "friends" with them as opposed to an aunt figure) relationships with these kids; so the kid thing is not so much a biggie for me. Maybe there are men out there like that and some men are great with kids and don't even know it.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 458
are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 2/1/2011 3:54:18 PM
I have dated men from 30-53 who have never been married, or had children, and i did not find them odd. Different ones had different reasons, but it didnt bother me.

My BF is 38 and has no ex wife or kids. he was just holding out for the best, me!
 kittybiscuit
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 459
are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 2/6/2011 11:00:59 AM
I think it depends upon the man. Also, I think in big cities it is much more common to find never married 30-somethings than not. Most of my peer group is just now starting to get married off. This started around 28.

A man in his 30-40s who has never married but has spend his 20s/30s getting an advanced degree or building a business or otherwise has built a solid career, has a home, and other signs of maturity (financial) has obviously spend his time making sure he is taken care of and any future partner as well. (I would say the same for women as well, as I certainly fit this profile).

A man in his 30-40s who is still living at home, or living with 5 roommates, still parties every night, works a crap job just to scrounge up rent and has strings of girlfriends, etc, paints a different picture--one of a guy who is not ready or willing to settle down.

Which one would you be leery of?
 singleinok
Joined: 7/25/2009
Msg: 460
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are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 2/6/2011 9:03:10 PM
Yes, it scream "COMMITMENT ISSUES!!" loud and clear.
 avatarak_
Joined: 12/8/2010
Msg: 461
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are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 2/11/2011 9:58:01 PM
I think women should give me the benefit of the doubt; maybe I'm perfectly willing to commit!
Maybe I'm just single because I'm not particularly attractive and have neither the money nor the interpersonal skills to compensate!

Ever think of that???
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 462
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are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 2/12/2011 7:23:42 AM

Yes, it scream "COMMITMENT ISSUES!!" loud and clear.


I guess then people who are divorced (with women initiating something like 80% of the divorces) It screams FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE and INABILITY TO MAINTAIN "TIL DEATH DO US PART" never saw or heard in there any clauses releasing you from the vows made before God and man that say you can get a free pass out if you just change your mind.

I was engaged at one point.. She did me a huge favor.. She is now divorced 3 times and on her 4th husband...pretty much cured me...

just sayin
 ComplekCity
Joined: 1/17/2011
Msg: 463
are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 2/14/2011 11:04:07 AM
Some women may wonder what's wrong with me because I've never been married.

I would hope that most wouldn't automatically assume something negative like committment issues .

I would love to make a committment to the right person !

Some people just aren't lucky enough to meet the right person. Those same people, like myself ,aren't willing to get married just for the sake of it.

Almost makes me wonder if I'd have been better off to have gotten married/divorced in order to seem more "normal"
 misteraaa
Joined: 2/7/2010
Msg: 464
are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 2/14/2011 11:15:55 AM
39, never been married.
Engaged once, didn't work out.

At this stage in my life, i really don't care what anyone thinks about my relationship status.
I'm enjoying life, working hard and studying in my free time. I often wonder if i did meet someone worth having a relationship with, would they put up with the fact that my free time is so limited :D

I get lonely at times, of course, but i'd rather be single than with someone who wasn't right for me. Some might label this as picky, but again, i don't care about other peoples labels either!

So judge away, knock yourself out. I'll just carry on doing what i'm doing and if i meet someone who has the right mix of morals and love of life, great.

At the end of the day, you are the maker of your own happiness, externalising it on another person is just madness in my opinion. Unless you love yourself, how will anyone else love you, and how will you love anyone else?

Enough rambling anyway, good luck all, i hope you get all that you wish for, and that you are also careful what you wish for!

Misteraaa
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 465
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are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 2/15/2011 9:25:45 AM
~OT~ My SO is 38, never married. I'm not the least bit concerned about that. He's never asked me about my former relationships except in general conversations re: my son (in which there is a Father that has come up in the context of those conversations.) He's not one to be hung up on past history, nor am I. I know him today, I don't need to worry about him for the past 20 years and why he never married. Marriage is not in my future, so I suspect we won't even need to discuss that topic, since he's never been ~ I can't see that preference changing on his end. Really makes it all pretty simple. JMO
 Whatisnewwithyou
Joined: 1/25/2011
Msg: 466
are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 2/18/2011 8:52:38 AM
Better off happy and single, then to be with the wicked witch of the east. That is why I am single and in my 30's Of course I always get asked why have you never been married before by divorced folks often. This makes me laugh. I have also known lots of women who have remained single into their 30's who happen to be leery of guys who have been divorced twice already in their 30's.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 469
are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 2/24/2011 5:57:48 AM
If you live in the US of A today, and you aren't a bit leery of making a commitment to someone, you probably aren't paying attention to how marriage has changed in the last 40 years. People don't take their commitments seriously enough anymore.

I'd say a person who's been married and divorced a couple of times by 40 has larger commitment issues than someone who has not jumped into marriage just because society says they should. The institution is broken, and a smart person is careful of who they enter into it with... Regardless of gender.
 Wyatt Earp1
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 470
are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 3/29/2011 11:48:28 AM
Women are leery of every guy! Ah...except for their ____ delivery guy wearing shorts with that tanned California smile! Ya know what I mean ladies! :D
 Kelpk
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 471
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are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 4/1/2011 2:58:57 AM
Load of women in their 30s in same position as you it may be a problem to married divorced kids group probably because they have had a different life path and may think what would you know about these things? which is a good point but maybe date same and less problem

I m like you and so look for same as the above group might sometimes do.
 Deviledeggs
Joined: 9/16/2008
Msg: 472
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are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 4/3/2011 12:15:46 AM
I'm a guy but I want to say that I think any woman 40 or over, and never married and is pretty and self-sufficient will never marry no matter how much they say they want to.

That goes with married woman who date a single man with promises of getting a divorce. Mean as a bean!
 Spank_Me_Honey
Joined: 4/3/2011
Msg: 473
are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 4/12/2011 9:35:13 AM
So how about women over 30 who have never been married ?

In anthropological terms a woman's "value" ( child bearing capability and beauty for example ) declines rapidly after 30.

Compared too in our modern society where a mans "value" increases as he becomes better able to be a provider for the family.
 Ross_MwcFan
Joined: 4/7/2011
Msg: 474
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are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 4/12/2011 12:20:52 PM

that is a question i would truly like to hear some opinions on.i am 34 and never been married and i feel normal.i just do not seem to attract the kind of women i would want to spend the rest of my life with as of yet.am i too picky?no,i don't think so.do i think some women are out of my league?yes,i do and that may be a problem.do i think some women are leery or scared of a guy like me who has never been married?yes, but i only met women who are married currently who seem to feel that way.do women that are divorced feel that way towards a guy like me? what do other men think about this question?

love to hear from some of the women on this site please.
thank you

Andrew - AKA Cactuswop


I don't think I attract any women at all.

I think it depends on where you live. In the UK it's normal to have not been married before at this age, since a lot of people over here in LTR's aren't married.

In America it seems that marrige is a lot more important, and most people in LTR's do get married, which would mean, it probably would seem strange over there for a guy over 30 who has never been married.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 475
are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 4/18/2011 11:05:51 PM
I know when I go shopping for a car I want one that has been through an accident, or at least damaged in a fender bender. In fact any car on the lot that is new or certified .... I will not even bother with.

theres a winning pattern for ya.
" well yes, its been in a wreck but look at how it survived !" um, no.

Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?