elle j
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Joined: 5/14/2005
Msg: 51 | |
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| Never let your girlfriend/wife go out with her unattached friends
Posted: 11/9/2005 7:55:49 AM |
We understand guys better, I suppose.
I don't know about that. Women know what men are like. At least, once they're over the age of 21 they certainly should have it figured out.
Men trust other men less than women trust men.
Women don't trust men out on the street after dark. They appear to trust men in clubs because they can control the situation and allow the attention to go only as far as they want it to -- not because they are any less knowing of what it means when a guy comes up and starts making small talk.
Imagine you're a woman. Why would you *not* dress suggestively when you go out to a club? You'll get plenty of attention, the women will tell you how hot you look, you'll get more status and power among your girlfriends, and you'll get your ego stroked whenever some guy starts hitting on you, even if he's dorky. Sure, you could dress like a bag lady, but then you'd be at the bottom of the totem pole. Women are every bit as competitive as men, they are just a tiny bit less obvious about it. | |
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| Never let your girlfriend/wife go out with her unattached friends
Posted: 11/9/2005 7:57:28 AM | zentral You said it exactly as I would, I can only say absolutely agree, every word!!!
yamihere I would "let" my SO go wherever he likes, including a strip club for a bachelor party. I may just as soon he didn't, but would only tell him so if he ASKED, I would still tell him to go. I just wouldn't make a big deal out of it. | |
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| Never let your girlfriend/wife go out with her unattached friends
Posted: 11/9/2005 8:00:49 AM | Would you "let" your SO go to a strip club for his best friend's bachelor party?
Well there is that 'Let' word again. But in answer to your question - my at-one-time S.O. did go to a strip club for his best friend's bachelor party. "Let?" Had no problems with it. I've never understood the problem of getting incensed over your S.O. appreciating the beauty of the human body. Looking doesn't hurt anything. Touching? That's still another's choice. Would be my choice to decide what I wanted to do after that. Ain't no "letting" involved in the equation.
One more time - you either trust, or you don't. Your S.O. is going to do whatever they want anyway. | |
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| Never let your girlfriend/wife go out with her unattached friends
Posted: 11/9/2005 8:04:41 AM | Yam--women just dress up for other women as well, not sexually of course (as long they're hetero). In the looks department, women are much more competitive than men--generally speaking--and some are so competitive that they want to look better than the other women in the room, even if they are in a relationship.
I'd prefer to approach it this way:
She gets all dressed up and looks great. I tell her how wonderful she looks and tell her to have a good time. She goes out, has a good time, and comes home to me, mostly likely happy that she has someone to come home to while her single friends don't. She's most likely happy that she doesn't have to go through the bs of looking for a guy like her friends do. So when she gets home, she still looks great.
Sounds like a great opportunity to let her know how much you appreciate her and vice versa. | |
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| Never let your girlfriend/wife go out with her unattached friends
Posted: 11/9/2005 8:07:19 AM |
Women know what men are like. At least, once they're over the age of 21 they certainly should have it figured out.
True. I didn't mean to say they haven't figure them out for the most part. But I still think guys are more suspicious of other men and have a better understanding of how they operate. I've known guys throughout my life that are total pigs, but had almost every woman they met believing they were decent men. | |
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| Never let your girlfriend/wife go out with her unattached friends
Posted: 11/9/2005 8:13:00 AM | La Loba,
No offense intended. Just checking. There are a lot of women who have a double standard in this regard.
Lucky,
I actually agree with you. I’ve never believed in telling anybody what they can and can’t do, what they can or can’t wear or think, etc. Just being the devil (which is pretty much who I am, LOL).
And I do agree with Linguatic. Women are very competitive with other women. As I always say, if you really want to make a woman feel special, don’t just send her flowers - send her flowers at her place of work. That way she gets the satisfaction of, for lack of a better term, rubbing it into the faces of her female co-workers. | |
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| Never let your girlfriend/wife go out with her unattached friends
Posted: 11/9/2005 8:18:10 AM | I have no interest in clubbing, be it a dance club or a strip club, period. However, I love attending bars that feature live music and will even go by myself. Will I get up and dance by myself? Not a chance, that just isn't me. Would I dress suggestively? No, I'd dress comfortably and in a manner that suits me. Would I feel that IF I chose to dress suggestively that this invites a guy to behave poorly? Nopers. No excuses for behaving poorly, making assumptions, or treating me like a slut. I get in "moods" and dress to express that, which is my right. However, I have a very classic sense of taste, so I'd stand no chance of really being "suggestive", I don't think. But then, how others might perceive me is out of my hands.
I'll never understand the notion of attempting to "tempt" when you are involved with another. Why would I want the attention of anyone other than my man?
And ladies, I'm all for free choice and not being controlled by anyone at all. I'm strong enough to control myself, and have no need for a lifestyle, behavior or sense of freedom that
takes me anywhere that I'd feel uncomfortable. I'm responsible to myself first, then I can be responsible to others. If I choose to go out with the "girls", then THAT is what the experience is all about. Nothing more. | |
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| Never let your girlfriend/wife go out with her unattached friends
Posted: 11/9/2005 8:23:40 AM | Funny girl,
You make good points, and ones with which I don’t disagree. But for the sake of argument, let’s just say I like to wear a ski mask and carry a gun around with me and I take it into a bank. I have no intentions of robbing said bank - in fact, I’m making a deposit - and I can’t control how others will perceive my intentions - but how do you think they will react? | |
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| Never let your girlfriend/wife go out with her unattached friends
Posted: 11/9/2005 8:29:20 AM | I'm sorry...I still haven't gotten past the "let" part of this ridiculous statement!!!
Guess the fifties really ARE makinga comeback....
Funny thing...when you have a healthy, mature relationship there's a little thing called "trust"...
....*walks away shaking head*...D. | |
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| Never let your girlfriend/wife go out with her unattached friends
Posted: 11/9/2005 8:54:52 AM | .
Yes, “it’s about trust.” And any woman I am involved with can “trust” that I will not be dancing in some bar when she is not with me. Nor would she, because I do not associate with women who would do such a thing while in a relationship.
On the other hand, there’s a very large local café/bar owned and operated by a woman my age who many of us have known since high school. Everyone -- city workers, engineers, business owners, lawyers, physicians and even kids -- pop in there from time to time because the food is excellent. There is dancing at night, but it is a couple’s establishment and I cannot remember anyone ever trying to “pick up” someone there. In fact, if some guy even tried to hit on a woman there, the head mama (owner) would have at him instantly. Because, as she admonishes, “it’s not that kind of place.”
But, nope, such things shall not happen in my life. I do not frequent singles bars with married friends (or even those in a serious relationship). If some gal told me she wants to attend “girls night out” with friends, I would just tell her to go ahead. But, I would never call her again.
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