| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/17/2007 11:52:29 AM | Try really hard not to have one night stands. If it happens though...well...ya just gotta deal with it....you know...the aftermath! Sometimes it great, other times its not.
What I don't understand though is why people can't contact you afterwards...even if its a "hey thanks that was fun but I don't think it will work out". I know not all guys/girls do that or are out only for one night stands...don't get me wrong here. Not implying that!!! But maybe make it clear before what you're after. Then one has the option of kicking them out of bed when its over.  Or how about the sticky situation (pardon the pun LOL) of plenty of contact beforehand. You meet...you seem to both be attracted to each other and yes, "it" happens but then little or no contact afterwards? WTF | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/17/2007 12:42:27 PM | I've had first dates where the physical attraction has been irrestistible. I've also dated men for months and not slept with them...and I'm still single..
Don't try to work it out, it's simple..they or I were just not 'the one'
If it feels right, do it. Otherwise.... | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/17/2007 7:56:15 PM | | true i do agree all because you sleep wtih someone on the first date doesn't make you a slut hay if both people enjoy it and not expecting any lasting committment who care but ladys make sure these pigs wrap the hotdog as we know cant trust no one | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/23/2007 7:02:55 AM | | hiya again! its not only guys who sleep with girls on a first date,its just that most girls will not admit it! i dont see how anyone can cast judgement if they do it,plenty would if given the oppertunity! | |
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rjb888
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Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 431 | |
| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/23/2007 9:11:55 AM | | I tried a one stand once it lasted 12 years. I don't sleep with someone on the first date no matter how much I may have wanted to. I would think "how many other women does he do on the first date". Me I like to let the hunger build. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/24/2007 7:56:01 AM | I think what two adults do on the first date is their business and its all in the mind -
its a perception thing - noone wans to be seen as a slut or stud - but if the chemistry is there then its an opportunity wasted as long as theres follow up - nothing worse than not hearing from them again afterwards.
but lets be honest about this does it really matter first date, second or tenth date - no. why are we all in such denial of why we are here? and what we want in a relationship -
we want it all including sex for god sake. personally im not looking for a bloody library partner to just read books with. lol - and neither are most members on here.
just both be honest that nature will either take over or not. end of - it doesnt have to be complex - we are all sexual beings and want and need love and intimacy too and someone to trust with the sensitive and fragile parts of us. x | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/25/2007 7:33:30 PM | Not true..I married a woman only 3 months after having sex on the first date. It only lasted six years but the passion was great, sex every night and 3times on sunday. Too bad she was crazy and had to be let go..lol  | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/25/2007 8:16:24 PM |
I think what two adults do on the first date is their business and its all in the mind -
its a perception thing - noone wans to be seen as a slut or stud - but if the chemistry is there then its an opportunity wasted as long as theres follow up - nothing worse than not hearing from them again afterwards.
but lets be honest about this does it really matter first date, second or tenth date - no. why are we all in such denial of why we are here? and what we want in a relationship -
we want it all including sex for god sake. personally im not looking for a bloody library partner to just read books with. lol - and neither are most members on here.
just both be honest that nature will either take over or not. end of - it doesnt have to be complex - we are all sexual beings and want and need love and intimacy too and someone to trust with the sensitive and fragile parts of us. x
Well..hands up!
DAYUM!!! sax..so far away..AND so, ummm, handsome! AND...so well said!!  | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/25/2007 8:28:42 PM | Have to add...as an old beotch who has been around awhile....
WHY the double-standard???
Just do not "get that"?
Men can meet, greet, and then F#@K, and it's OK.
Women? Have to put the guy off to avoid the "slut-factor"???
They then "play the game"...and the guys fall for it? HUH?
I don't get it?
What happened to Honesty?!
Guys say they aren't as "into" women who have sex the first few dates?
Yet they claim that is a turn on?
I am so confused?
The men who say this want someone sexual. Yet not then and there? So..when?
The first date. Tenth? When?
Women are confused. We are sexual, passionate...BUT we are supposed to be restrained, or
if not, we are labeled.... "SLUTS".
GUYS! Figure out what you REALLY want????  | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/25/2007 8:39:19 PM | | islgurl guys are not going to give you the answer to that. Its a secret. lol they like confusing us so we keep trying to understand them. Men say the same about us too. What does Slut mean anyway and why are only women sluts? | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/25/2007 8:53:34 PM | Funny...Frankly..have not heard that term "slut" since maybe the 60's-70's...seems it has just raised it's ugly head in the 2007's? Weird.
That term was an intentional "put-down" used by insecure women, AND insecure men...guess they are all back????
Po guys. And gals. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/25/2007 8:54:52 PM | Okay here is websters definition of Slut.
Slut is a term for a person who is deemed sexually promiscuous. The term has traditionally been applied to women and is often used as an insult or offensive term of disparagement.
Gee isn't that interesting. Traditionally applied to who???.... hmmm.... oh yeah women. Why is that? Anybody care to explain this? | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/26/2007 2:15:48 AM |
What are you thinking of her then. Is it so hard to please a guy? You want to know that we had a good time on the date. If we did and we show you that we did, in this manner, you then think we are not worth the time or effort anymore. Why can't we just simply have sex with you the first night and more after that. Now if we held out on the first night you would call us some kind of tease but if we do you.... you don't apperciate it. WTF?
I respect women who sleep with me on the first date. Most of my relationships started with sex on the first date.
If a guy will not respect a women who sleeps with him on a first date, he is a hypocrite. After all, he has sex on the first date, so why can't she? | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/26/2007 2:51:37 AM | | OP, I don't think it's so much about holding out on a first date for a man to respect YOU. It's more about having more respect for YOURSELF than wanting to sleep with a man you don't even know. I think men can tell the difference, and I have personally never been called a tease when I haven't slept with the men I've dated. I am still friends with most of them. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/26/2007 5:43:11 PM | | I personally am not inclined to stay with a girl that I slept with on the first date. Not for a LTR at least. (Though I did make "friends with bennies" one time with a woman like that for 2 1/2 years.) I feel like when a woman puts out on the first date that all she wants is either a one night stand or friends with benefits. I have NEVER gotten the vibe that they wanted a serious relationship after sleeping with me on the first date. It is to my experience that the woman looking for the LTR really IS NOT going to put out on the first date. And any woman that feels that way, for whatever her reasons may be, they should be respected if they don't want to put out. My impression is that they have already "been there/done that" with other men perhaps and are ready to move on to something more enriching in their lives. You can't be f*ck buddies forever. And sometime in your life you want to just be with someone who is your best friend and your lover. And knowing that you can do that WITHOUT sex is one of the most beautiful gifts in life there is. PLUS there is the element of a heightened excitement and anticipation when a man waits for sex. I had NO PROBLEMS what-so-ever telling my present girlfriend that I would wait to have sex. I felt that in her personality ALONE she was worth giving the respect to. And my past experience tought me one other time that it was better to wait when you found something great. I lost a real sweetheart one time because I let the wrong head take charge. With my present girlfriend, I wasn't letting that happen twice. I couldn't afford to make the same mistake twice. And I let her know it too. She was very reseptive and kind to my feelings. And we both waited until it felt right for BOTH OF US. There was no one-sidedness about it. And it was DEFINATELY worth the wait. I also feel that if you meet someone who really excites you, you should take the time to get to know that person. Sex can cloud so many things. Sex can make things awkward too sometimes. I didn't want sex to cloud the newfound joy I had. I wanted to know her for who she was as a person. And the reward was greater than the definition of life in itself. So unless your still in your "experimental stages" ,or your still "sowing your oats", make that guy wait. And TELL HIM YOUR TRUE FEELINGS ABOUT WHY! You will learn ALOT about his character. He will be interested in YOU or YOUR SEX. How you carry and present yourself, as well as HIS respect for your feelings will determine the future of your new discovery in another human being. That is the bottom line as I know it. And casual sex, as I know it, is a dime a dozen. It isn't hard to some by. And it has a completely different meaning and feeling than discovering sex with someone you are very fond of. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/27/2007 9:42:21 AM | Well you are right, you are damned if you do and you are damed if you don't. I can say I did one time because I was feeling some chemistry and is a way to get to know someone. But heres one for ya. In getting to know someone and having the sex you find out that ......um a.... that its not so good. Men are always so quick to judge, and when they are lacking in one department they really shouldn't be so quick to judge. Now I am not bashing just making a statement that women have needs and wants too So as you may have figured out from this post, I slept with him found out that is was not good in the sex department and never spoke to him again. Just like I am sure there are a few men out there that have slept with woman on the first date and never called them again, which makes me wonder was that all they wanted? Hmmmmmmmmmmm | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/27/2007 11:13:07 AM | | I have never, and will never, sleep with a man on the first date. I will sound like a catty old hag on this one, but I don't think sex is part of a date. Sex is part of a hook up or a booty call. A date is a little more reserved and impersonal. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/27/2007 3:34:07 PM | Is it so hard to please a guy? You want to know that we had a good time on the date. If we did and we show you that we did, in this manner, you then think we are not worth the time or effort anymore. Why can't we just simply have sex with you the first night and more after that. Now if we held out on the first night you would call us some kind of tease but if we do you.... you don't apperciate it.
Hmm, why does that sound like she's having sex with the guy to "win appreciation" or "win his affection", rather than "because she enjoys it"?? To let him "know that we had a good time on the date" (there's not other ways to do that, like a good long kiss and saying you'd like to see them again?). Sounds a heck of a lot like "I'll sleep with him in the hopes that it'll win him over and he'll want more" - which is manipulative and loaded with expectations.
News flash, we're not here to meet your expectations. Perhaps the real story is that you had sex, but from your attitude he picked up on the fact that you were loading up the 'date' with your expectations of it becoming 'more', when you hardly know each other? | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/27/2007 7:55:26 PM | Hhmmm, saxatalis--it seems you are confusing love and intimacy with  sex.  Not the same basket of fruit. And can you really trust a stranger with the sensitive and fragile parts of yourself. Ahem--but maybe you are just speaking of certain body parts--not emotions. And, oh yes--we are all human beings (with sexuality). The notion of being a sexual being kind of sounds like that is a person's ultimate focus........which of course would make them 'be'have as a sexual being. | |
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