| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 10/27/2007 7:58:00 PM | So, I am wondering, Fernando--what part of that 3 months or 6 years could have helped you know she was crazy before the marriage. But, maybe the great sex was worth it? | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/4/2007 7:01:37 AM | Very true! The ONLY reason anyone thinks there is anything wrong with sex on the first, or second, or tenth date, or before marriage, is because our society has a large part of its foundation in religious/moralistic "If it feels good it is wrong" thinking, which is ridiculous. Sex is a pleasure, a stress-reliever that is about the most fun two people can have. If a woman sleeps with a guy she is attracted to and feels comfortable with, there is NOTHING wrong with that regardless of how long they have been seeing each other, 5 minutes or 5 years. It is entirely up to each individual to do with what they are confortable with, and noone else has any business judging them. That's it. End of story. Ans as far as someone thinking less of you because you had sex with them - in addition to essene being absolutly right that that is someone you probably don't want to be in a relatioship with anyway - um - I am pretty sure if you slept with them they slept with you too. So that double-standardizing ass needs to turn the light of judgement back on themself. And when you loook at the range o0f behaviors - everything from multiple partners at the same time, S&M, B&D to only having sex in marriage, who is to judge? Where is the line where a person with certain preferences gets to judge everyone else? Who is to say what is "right" and what is "wrong" for anyone else? That is the beginning of a path that ends in a fascist state. I don't mean to get all political, but NO FORM of judgement or censorship should be tolerated. ANd when the thumpers come a-thumong, well, there are a couple of other interesting bible quotes I like to throw about:
"Judge not, lest ye be judged."
"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
'Nuff - and in fact probably too much - said. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/21/2007 9:24:10 PM | You may be on to something there ,regarding women giving men the big ego boost to satisfy their needs. Isee it as good for both women & men as now two sexual needs are being satisfied.
I have a question though. I have been single for 6 plus years & have met with a good number of women over coffee, a meal, drinks etc. I have only met 2 women out of perhaps 80 that they didn't end their relationship. Is this just a trend or have times changed to the degree where men are unable to satisfy women in long term marriage? | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/15/2007 9:29:09 AM | I would NEVER sleep with a man on a first date. And to the moron who said it didn't matter what date it was? Ok, maybe for YOU, it doesn't matter, but for some of us, it does.
I am a very sexual person, but I want my sex life, to be safe, and I want to share it with someone... I LOVE and care about, and vice versa. I don't want to sleep with some schmuck, who is never going to call me again, and write me off like I mean nothing. Sex is something I hold a little more sacred then that. Also, to be honest, the world is not the kind of place it was in the 70's buddy. Ever hear of herpes? How about HPV? When you can't talk to someone about those things... you are playing russian roulette. I understand that even people in LTR relationships LIE, but the chances are smaller, then with some person you just met, and are running off to f**k.
I honestly do not understand how some people think. Sex is wonderful... and for me, sex is AWESOME, when it's with someone I can trust, be close with, and talk to. And for me, that stuff isn't present with a STRANGER. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/15/2007 9:43:34 AM | I make it clear that there will be no sex on the first date...and probably not for a while. This is also a screening process. If he disappears (and they do) then I know our goals are not on the same page and good riddance. A "gentleman" who really likes the lady and wants her to feel safe and comfortable will have no problem... 
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/15/2007 9:48:04 AM | My friend slept with a guy she met on here on the first date.
They had talked on the phone for a couple of days, IM'd etc.
They met for dinner, he swept her off her feet. Totally charmed her.
She was so caught up she had sex with him that night.
Then she found out afterwards he'd peeled off the condom and gone bareback. The next day he told her he didn't want to hear from him again. Called her a pig.
Then he proceeded to post about his successes to others. She found his posts and was quite upset to find out he was not only seeing other women, but that he bragged about doing a hooker just a few hours before he did her. (Not even a shower in between)
Oh yeah, that guy is still on POF too. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/15/2007 8:29:47 PM | It's not what she did with me, it is what she did with other guys
and unless you only date virgins, another guy's already been where you've been (or want to be with her)...so wtf does it really matter? if she's funny, interesting, and your type why would you throw her away over this? if you do, then you're a shortsighted fool and she could do better! | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/16/2007 2:30:40 AM | | ha we are all a bunch of hipocrits.. sleep witha guy on your first date,, either means your adventurous, a straight up hoochie, or drunk and missing adventure, and thats the best way you can find it.. guys that wont respect a girl that does that have little respect for a girl anyway and should be treated like the pigs they are... i slept with my girlfirend on our first date and we have been going strong for a year now | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/16/2007 1:30:23 PM | I slept with my last girl friend on our fist date. We were together for two years. Where as the relationship ultimately failed the "sleeping with someone on the first date" had nothing to do with it.
Personally, I prefer to get the whole sexual frustration thing out of the way early on. It's not a must. It's just my own preference. To me it cuts through to the meat of the relationship, and gets the hormones out of the way.
There's something i've said for years, and I stand by it:
If you want to know what kind of character the person you're dating has you have to do one of two things. You either move in with them or sleep with them. Once the sexual frustrations are out of the way or you live together so you really can't hide anymore... all you have left is who they are and what their insecurities make them do.
Am I cynical?
Hell yes. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/16/2007 3:48:47 PM | | I have loads of cousins and a brother and friends that are men and they do not respect the modern women they are looking over seas' and paying for it to find ole fashion wife so wake up .... | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/16/2007 4:12:08 PM | | well if your cousins, brother and male friends prefer to find a woman who is using him as her ticket to emigrate from her country, then so be it. he's using her because he perceives her as more manageable than an independant-minded and liberal woman, while she perceives him as a means to a better of life and more financial stability. if that's what they prefer, let them go for it...and good luck to them! this girl isn't turning into a meek 50's housewife for anyone ; ) | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:25:52 PM | | This always gets me. Why should it matter if there is sex on the first date and the biggest thing I have never understood is why the person is a slut. I personaly think that if you are both feeling it, then go for it. It is up to the two ADULTS to get past the relationship as being all about sex. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/16/2007 6:58:47 PM | If both parties are into it...whats the problem. Sex on the first doesn't make myself or you a slut. It just means we clicked and are having some adult fun.  | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/16/2007 7:25:57 PM |
And to the moron who said it didn't matter what date it was? Ok, maybe for YOU, it doesn't matter, but for some of us, it does.
Curious. Were YOU called a moron for thinking it DOES matter? I suspect not.
One thing to have and give an opinion.. quite another to hurl insults.
And why is it that so many people assume that someone who might indulge on a first date isn't practicing safe sex? Oh right.. the moron thing.
the guy will never call you again.
If you don't put out, he may not call you again either.. assuming he's a big jerk. So... Six of one half a dozen of the other. | |
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custis
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Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 469 | |
| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/16/2007 7:44:54 PM | | I can only speak for myself. I do not have any antiquated elitist male notions that a woman is less of a woman for sleeping with a man. That is immature male-derived crap. I think every woman has just as much right to enjoy the fruits of lust as any man. For myself, it all depends on the chemistry. If the chemistry is there, there may indeed be sex on the first date. Or there may not be. What will happen will happen. | |
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custis
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Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 470 | |
| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/16/2007 7:47:04 PM | "And why is it that so many people assume that someone who might indulge on a first date isn't practicing safe sex?"
I have noticed that assumption too. I am open to sex if the chemistry is there, but I will not even look at a naked woman without a condom. | |
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custis
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Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 471 | |
| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/16/2007 7:49:09 PM | | Dharma, it is men who have created the double standard. Not women. Men **** if they can't get laid, and then they turn around and call a woman a slut or a chippy if she does let them in her pants. Us men need to wake up and realize that it is no longer the 19th century. | |
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custis
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Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 472 | |
| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/16/2007 7:56:31 PM | I slept with my ex-wife on the first date, we were together for six years. We only split up because of her domination issues. She wanted to continually boss me around as if I were a child. My best friend slept with his wife on the first date almost thirty years ago. She is my niece and they are still married. In fact, I have two other friends in the best category that are still with their wives that they slept with on the first date. lol. One of them did it in MY bed while I slept on the couch after a night on the town.
And even if the guy vanishes afterwards, you had some fun... | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/16/2007 8:15:11 PM | A lady never gives it up so easy.  It's better to get to know him/her and let natural takes it's course ... It could take more then four months or a year.. but it worst the waiting if you are in love by then. I Believe we have to have feelings for each other before it takes place.... you know LOVE MAKING... Then again I am from the old school...  KISSES! | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/17/2007 1:49:38 AM |
(Msg 473) ... It could take more then four months or a year....... I Believe we have to have feelings for each other before it takes place....
A year before one has feelings???  | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 12/17/2007 4:56:21 AM |
Dharma, it is men who have created the double standard. Not women. Men **** if they can't get laid, and then they turn around and call a woman a slut or a chippy if she does let them in her pants. Us men need to wake up and realize that it is no longer the 19th century.
I could agree with that Custis, however I think women are also somewhat to blame... not like I haven't heard women calling other women who have a habit of sleeping with guys on the first date sluts as well. And, of course, more than likely if *she* wants a certain guy, and another woman hits on him and they sleep together that night, she's probably a slut too. 
Now, I'm not in the habit of sleeping with a woman on the first date, simply because I want to actually know the person (2nd date, all bets are off)... but then, I've been "close" to it and it could happen, I'm not in any way against it, or judgemental of others about it.
What I *do* find funny though, is the simple fact that men are used to the rejection, if a man gets his sexual advances rejected, he'll usually take it in stride (usually, some not "all")... but, women generally (again, some not "all") have the attitude that a "man will be ready anytime, anywhere, 24/7" - and OMG if a guy rejects her advances (been there), either he "must be gay or something" or she'll spend the next week thinking she must be horribly fat/ugly/whatever (pick your thing for her to beat up on herself about), because obviously if a man won't sleep with her theres *something* wrong!!!
Hmm, woman turns down a man, he should just 'take it', man turns down a woman - the end of the world!! I don't comprehend the logic in that. Oh, wait, logic, woman, estrogen, emotions... never mind, I see the fallacy in my even trying to comprehend...  | |
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