| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/11/2005 10:02:43 PM | @ riffy
Let's see, you said: "LOL. It's not what she did with me, it is what she did with other guys. If it happened with me the first night, it happened with other guys the first night. That makes her easy and that's just gross."
You ARE wrong as not every women who sleeps with someone the first night is *easy* or has done the same with every guy...Unless you've asked every woman of dating and consent age (and you didn't ask me so I doubt you've asked all women - or even many, for that matter) then you are assuming, incorrectly, that is the truth about all women. It's your opinion, but personally, I know it's incorrect to believe that and, IMO, it's narrow minded. Also, you don't have to accept my 'ideas'; I'm simply saying that unless you've checked with all women, all you're stating is an opinion based on no fact.
You didn't post that you were saying what someone *might* be thinking, you posted as though those were *your* thoughts, and that's what I replied to. Perhaps you should consider how you're saying something and if it's stated as your opinion or as what you believe others *might* think. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/11/2005 10:10:54 PM | @Crunchberries
If you went home with a girl and have sex on the first night, then the same applies to you, no? Again, simply if s/he did it with one, doesn't mean it's the same with everyone. And how can you detect a pattern unless you follow them around to see if they do that with everyone? Although you say it only applies to you if that's all you wanted, not everyone, male or female, thinks the same way. I never got intimate quickly with anyone in over 27 years of dating; the last man I dated was the quickest by far, and it wasn't a mistake for either of us. Each person has to decide for them self what's right...but if they're going to be judged by someone else for it - especially the person they're doing it with - then sex is going to start dying out, as they're not being accepted for who they are, nor are they being trusted as being honest. *That's* the relationship killer right there; not when they had sex. People leave for many reasons; having sex early on in the relationship isn't usually the deal breaker...not if the relationship was between mature adults. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/11/2005 10:18:45 PM | Hmmm.. Yeah~~~ If he sleeps with you on the first date, or even attempts it... Mr. Respectful, I'd say ((wake up hun)) .. Come on,this isn't 1950, it's 2005... Or is it>? Maybe I've been dreaming>?  | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/11/2005 11:37:21 PM | I think that this is the bottom line - It's not up to people to judge what other people do in this regard.
If you want to sleep with someone on the first date, why not? As long as you're two consenting adults, that's your decesion.
If you don't want to sleep with someone on the first date, don't. That's your decesion. But don't judge other people's decesions. You have a right to your decesion, they have a right to theirs. That's all there is to it. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/12/2005 1:37:59 AM | | WAY TO GO GIRL,,, you wanna **** him do it,,, this is a free country. Personally if i slept with a girl on the 1 st date it would make things that much more special quickly. IF any effect it would be a good thing. btw,, whatcha doing later? jk,,, does the term once you've gone black u never go back work for chics too... always been curious about that... i want the experience. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/12/2005 8:22:53 AM | | I think it's a combination of a double standard and an age question. When a woman in her 20's sleeps with a guy on a first date, she is labelled a slut. When a man in his 20's sleeps with a woman on a first date, he is patted on the back and told he is lucky. As people get older and gain more experience with relationships and life in general, they become more educated...hence they tend to not label and stereotype and become more accepting of people and their differences....that is if they have LEARNED. If a woman in her 30's and older was in a relationship for 8 years say, and it is over...and she has been out of it and alone, say for 2 years...and then starts dating again. Let's say she has met someone who she finds attractive intellectually and physically...and she sleeps with him on a first date, I think people in that age bracket would be a bit more understanding of her decision. As for the comments about not marrying her because she did that...I don't understand how that is relative to the topic of marriage anyway. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/12/2005 2:58:49 PM | Hey. If you wanted to and he wanted to, then it's all good. But now you want relations to continue and he doesnt? It can be easy to agree to sex.. and not so easy to agree to what comes after.
Apparently, guys do seem to lose interest. You seem like you were more interested in the sex than him, and made that clear with your choice - because holding out is always playing on the safe side. And ultimately, there's nothing wrong with that - it comes down to you two being compatible. And if you wanted to swing that way and now he decides it's over, then obviously, continue on. Find a guy who suits you better and can understand your sexuality.
I personally have never slept with a guy on the first date. But I have definitely found that the earlier I sleep with a guy, the quicker they lose interest. So I move at my own pace and wait till I'm ready. And if they lose interest before I sleep with them, then good riddance  | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/12/2005 6:11:23 PM | What do you think of him?
I have to laugh at the guys who think the woman is slutty or whatever, but seem to have no problem looking in the mirror and dealing with the fact that they just slept with someone on the first date.
I have done it and the relationships have lasted from four years to one night.
The only time I had a problem with it was when I failed to realize that sex does not mean love (I was young) and she just wanted sex for sex. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/12/2005 7:01:40 PM | Okay. Everybody repeat after me.
There is no such thing as a slut. There is no such thing as a slut. There is no such thing as a slut....
BUT there are people who have a hard time sorting their feelings and expressing them in a clear manner.
I think lack of honest communication before and after the act is the culprit of most post coital confusion.
It is important to communicate motives/headspace before the act. This gives both parties an opportunity to decide if there are mutual motives on the table and also provides an opportunity for both parties to decide if they can live with eachothers motives. Sex can sometimes kick up a lot of emotions, and in some cases - issues. Timing of sex should be inconsequencial.
Any person who judges anothers sexuality is worthy of being similarly judged.
Dont beat yourself up for indulging on the first date. Your own self-judgement is more harmful than his in the long run.
I suggest attempting clear communication with as little attachment to outcome as possible. If he doesnt continue in the manner you desire then he is saving you from a relationship with someone who may not accept other parts of you - and what a horrible state that would be - being with someone who doesnt worship you for the goddess you are. Yikes!!!! | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/12/2005 7:04:51 PM |
I suggest attempting clear communication with as little attachment to outcome as possible. If he doesnt continue in the manner you desire then he is saving you from a relationship with someone who may not accept other parts of you - and what a horrible state that would be - being with someone who doesnt worship you for the goddess you are. Yikes!!!!
So very true...if only more people in this world thought that way!!! | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/12/2005 7:12:56 PM | What 2 consenting adults do behind closed doors should be their business.. But, there are people like this who think they'll be the judge and jury~~ ((I know who will do the judging in the end, and I'm comfortable with that))....
Soo, still no answer regarding the male who sleeps with a woman on the first date, and then disses her for "sleeping with him"... LOL > Hmmmm.... It's only a quiz, not a test>>> | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/12/2005 8:57:45 PM | Maybe there simply just isnt an answer.
We are each individuals with our own sets of rules... But if one looks at all the feedback on this thread, I get the feeling that most of us are mature enough to see beyond labels, timelines, and rules... I'm sure we can extend these odds to the outside world.The percentage of people who have negative judgements are a minority - and we dont need their approval.
I don't think sex was the mistake. Not communicating was the only mistake...But the good thing about mistakes is that they are also lessons and catalysts for growth. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/12/2005 9:12:01 PM | I had a 2 year relationship with someone who I had sex with on the first night.
I'd rather wait, it seems as I get older it's rushed and no longer wait and fight the temptation. Now it's more fun to try and see how long you two can hold out. ;) | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/12/2005 9:49:20 PM | | If she sleeps with me on the first date, maybe the sound is too low on the Tv? Maybe I should put in an action type movie instead of a love story? Humm, that is a tough one. Let me think on it some more. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/13/2005 12:00:46 AM | Im going to guess that she didnt just meet this guy for like the first 5 mins,,take off their clothes and went right at it. Id say if the date was going really well and you both were communicating, had loads to talk about, laughed alot, and genuinly really enjoyed each other, then at the end of the date it just seemed natural to do that,,,then there isnt a thing wrong with it. That just made that date that much better.
Rules shmules! Just like the one 'rule' where someone says you wait 3 days or more to call after a first date. Pshhh! lol Do what youuuu think is right and feels right for you,,,and not what others think. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/13/2005 2:01:50 AM | no one has yet to answer what it makes him if he puts out on the first date??? I'd really like to know?? She's a slut? what does that make him????
I think if he puts out..i sure don't wanna take him home to mama .. *snickers*
women seem so concerned over what he's going to think...wtf cares really??? lol i'm a tad on the tipsy side right now..and ya know what if he's a dog he's gonna dump yer ass if you wait 10 dates down the road..if he's gonna dump you he's gonna dump you after the first date or the tenth date..
my thoughts are most men are bad in bed..so get it outta the way ..if he's bad move on to the next..get it over and outta the way is the way i see it ....lol omg i so shouldn't drink.. | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/13/2005 4:37:43 AM | Really if it felt right to you that's all that matters. As far as why he disappeared who knows but him. Maybe you were just a conquest, maybe you were so good he's afraid to ever do it again cause it would pail in comparison. How can you ever really know what goes on in anothers mind. Why worry about what others may think of you anyhow, what's important is what you think of you and nothing else. As far as the why can't we have sex the first night and more after that, I never remember saying no to that! Did you ask? Was I conscious? Wait was that a rhetorical question? | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/16/2005 2:59:34 PM | unfortunatley there is still a double standard..yes there is no real difference from a guy or girl doing that it is all the same.....the problem lies (with me anyways) that I will be thinking she does this all the time (the same thoughts that girls have about men)
Not too mention the fact that the man will want sex everytime he see's you ..because the realtionship started (if it makes it ) based on the physical.
ladies ..make us work for it..not too hard mind you:) ..but a little effort never hurt the self respect | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 74 | |
| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/16/2005 3:13:16 PM | I am celibate , women usually press me for sex when they find out I will not put out , it is alot of fun , all the groaping at the restaurant and movies , they seem like a desperate kitty , make me feel wanted , hahahaha.
All good if she want to sleep with me on the first date , I will massage her to sleep , heheheh | |
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| And if she sleeps with you on the first date?
Posted: 11/20/2005 9:17:19 PM |
So she's a slut for sleeping with him on the first date..what exactly does that make him?
*shaking head*
Same thing, if he goes along with it.
People can do what they want, but I'm a guy and I don't think that sleeping with someone on the first date is a good idea. I mean, you wouldn't get married to someone on the first date, even if it was a really good date. Why? That's too serious and you don't know them that well yet.
If people go to bed on the first date, they may not see sex as involving a serious commitment. | |
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