| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:53:17 AM | FWB Can be a great thing...Just don't ever fall in love with them...
It works for many people...It can be good or bad...but if it's bad you both just easily walk away no harsh feelings hopefully.
 Give'Er people do it! lol | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/11/2006 9:57:44 AM | Much like communism: its brilliant in theory.
In practice: desire and jealousy destroy it.
Have been down this road many times and in inevitibly ends in a car wreck. Before long one of the two will desire more and jealousy starts creeping in.
I have found ~6months is the max. length before problems start. Altho, sometimes it can last longer if one of the two has a relationship thrown in and then does not pan and so the fwb resumes....But everytime the fwb has hit 6 months of solid time(sometimes less) I get the "we need to talk/I want more" speech
Has anyone else found this? | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/11/2006 10:25:37 AM | I think this whole situation depends on the level of friendship that you had before the "benifits" were introduced. Otherwise its just a casual relationship and those always seem to end with one party more involved than the other and end in a mess.
What happens when the two said "friends are in a spiral of denial and are hiding their feelings behind the "friendship" by calling it "friends with Benifits" when in reality they really do seem to have a relationship? Has anyone ever seen the FWB turn into a REAL relationship? Can you ever really go back to being "just friends" with the same level of friendship that you had before the benifits? Or is it possible that it could make a deeper connection as real friends after everything settles down later on? hmmm a slippery slope to be sure. I've seen many failures.... but I'm sure there can be a good side........ most failures seem to appear due to some lack of communication that develops early on ( in my opinion anyways) | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:22:29 AM | Fwb is really just BS. Ok, so are you really even friends? Anyone who you really consider a friend must be someone you get along with well. If you also find them attractive enough to sleep with them, and you are sexually compatible, what are you really doing here? Your having a relationship and calling it less than what it really is. I *used* to have fwb, but I never really considerd these people close friends. I find anyone I sleep with and don't intend to have a relationship with are people that I just don't think are very compatible with me in a real relationship. Ie. In the past I would have fwb with a girl that smokes, but I would never date such a person, or they have other such personality flaws that I don't find compatible. So basically your just using this person for sex, how can you call yourself a friend to anyone that you are using? Even if it is mutual. The reason they don't last is because their is a thought you put in your head saying "oh, I am not techincally going out with this person, so I can still look for other people" so really you are saying you don't owe your "friend" anything, and you don't have to be loyal to them. Since you both know that neither is being loyal, yet you still have strong feelings for any "friend" you are having intimacy with, their is a definte lack of trust. Real Friendship does'nt exist without trust. I don't care what people have to say about "if both parties agree, and are mature, it can work" It's really about 2 people lieing to each other, using each other, and being selfish. To me that is no real freindship.
So, I think the more accurate term is *self-gratifying copulatory partners* (tm) its more like a business transaction than a friendship. am I wrong? it's not a relationship, its just business? 2 people mutually benefitting from the exchange. isn't this the attitude most people seem to have regarding it? Taking all emotion/feelings out seems to be part of it being succesful, just like Real business. Business is business, nothing personal you know.
Thats kinda funny.
Gimme love over that crap any day of the week. | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:40:49 PM | I agree luv is the best when sex is concerned!!! But I don't agree with you can't be real friends with someone if you slept with them, I have had a couple awsome friends in the past and are still great friends with them even though we had sex. Sure it is about getting what you need from the person..using is a harsh word i think, but I guess true. But it doesn't have to be nasty at all, maybe it is just easy for me to separate the two. Sex in luv, and sex for sex.
I think anyone would prefer sex in a relationship!! | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:54:03 PM | Sex in a relationship is great, but i dont "frick" my girlfriends! Friends are friends, frickers are frickers!  | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/11/2006 5:14:09 PM | | I don't confuse a "FWB" with a real friend. It is merely a term to describe an intimate, ongoing relationship that has no "romance". | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/11/2006 5:28:56 PM | Fox,
__You hit the nail on the head.
__Now, please do not get me wrong. FWB can be a wonderful thing and, yes, emotion usually kills it.
Doc  | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:42:47 PM | Well if you all dont want to get "attached" make some ground rules .........
I got this from a friend and think it sums it up quite nice
HAHA
Oh yea I think this one is to each their own, myself I think I would look for a long term thing over a fling, Like everyone says too much baggage is created from one of the parties.
PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT
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This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of _________, 2006, by___________________, between____________and______________.
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THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we
need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks
before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have sh!t to talk
about.
4.None of that "lovemaking" sh!t - only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading
with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't
ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are
called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town,
then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's
really none of your damn business.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK -
don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing - I don't want your a$$ leaving
anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so
get your ass up, get dressed, and go the fcuk home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it
- I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response
will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the
reason is less eye contact the better.
18. NO condoms, NO fcuking. Carry your a$s home.
19. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.
20. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling
back looking for your ass.
21. If going to a hotel room, we either split the cost, or alternate who's paying....you pay this time, I pay next.
22. Don't bring any of your friends with you, unless they're gonna join the party.
* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:
! The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list.In otherwords, you will be BLOCKED from all
communications until your silly ass understands the rules.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Participating Party
Signature:
Date:
Participating Party
Signature:
Date: | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/12/2006 2:57:09 AM | | Like so many things... great in theory, but much tougher to pull off in real life. I think it is possible to do, but so many times it leaves someone hurt in the end. :( | |
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weyco
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Joined: 11/16/2005
Msg: 64 | |
| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/12/2006 3:49:38 AM | | I have had a few, and as long as the FWB thing is done with honesty and respect, why not have some fun with no one getting hurt?? | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/12/2006 9:59:59 PM | | FWB is kind of a urbin myth ... We hear alot about it and there may be some base in reality , but does it ever realy happen.. | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/12/2006 11:25:17 PM | | Ide say good if you can detach from the emotions.... Face it FWF is for those who are too lazy to masturbate... hehehe | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/13/2006 2:46:47 AM | | It can be really good, and i've had it work out before. I just think you need to make sure if there is any chance of you starting a real relationship with someone else, even if you're actively looking you should end it or not start it in the first place. There can be nothing worse than losing your FWB because they found someone else. So I think they should just be short term things....if you're sleeping with the same person for a long time, why not just have a relationship? | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/13/2006 9:15:14 AM | I have been watching this one with interest! So my turn for my 2 cents worth...
Personally, I don't to the FWB.
If I am going to share my body then I want to at least like and respect the person I am with. It doesn't necessarily mean that it is someone that I will have a lasting relationship with, but it has to have some meaning. There are times that a traditional relationship might not fit for many reasons and it is nice to have a 'companion' to do many things with.. including sex, but for me it has to be exclusive, no sleeping around for both parties. I find myself feeling lonely if I just have sex for sex.. and it never really satisfies that 'itch'.
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/13/2006 9:21:42 AM |
If I am going to share my body then I want to at least like and respect the person I am with.
I would certainly hope that you both like and respect your friends! Obviously a FWB is someone who is at the TOP of that level.
I personally think it is a great idea "in theory" but like most others seem to think and those who have partaken,. ..if it continues over an extended period of time eventually someone gets hurt in the end and that sucks and isn't worth ruining a great friendship over. | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/13/2006 9:32:04 AM | like any relationship FWB takes loads and loads of honest communication. With out communication it falls apart quickly.
Most often one person tends to have greater feeling for the other....and it ends up just being a friends situation | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/13/2006 10:41:18 AM | Of course I always like and respect my friends..
but the meaning of the FWB..'obviously' doesn't have anything to do with friendship... | |
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