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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/13/2006 12:04:24 PM | | I don't think its a bad thing if you are both single and both agree to it and know where you stand. Sometimes though as I have seen it can ruin a good freindship and in the end you have nothing. Personally I would rather have the friend then the sex. I want a partner in live for the sex and of course everything else that would go with being a couple. Anyways have a good day ya all... | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/14/2006 8:59:41 AM |
Of course I always like and respect my friends..
but the meaning of the FWB..'obviously' doesn't have anything to do with friendship...
well then how do you call it "FRIENDS" with benefits if there is no friendship involved? catch 22 there. Sure as heck wouldn't be hooking up with NON friends for FWB's perks.
I still prefer, like Kindheart, to keep my friends out of my up close and personal sex life. | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/14/2006 9:44:48 AM |
but the meaning of the FWB..'obviously' doesn't have anything to do with friendship...
Isn't friendship all about being happy around each other. Friends exchange presents buy each other coffee, give massages. So how is sex any different, just another way of spreading joy. So long as nobody gets hurt in the situation FWB can be a great and wonderful thing.
It depends on the emotional ability of both parties as well as their outlook on life. If they match, great fun can be had. Sex is one of those things that can lead to greater productivity in ones life... perfect stress reliever and it has been proven to heal.
I've done the FWB gig, and it is fun. The last one, turns out she found someone who she fell in love with. FWB actually enabled her to focus on what she wanted out of a relationship with sex not being the key focus, as it was taken care of. We are still friends without the sex and I'm happy that she is happy. | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/18/2006 6:49:46 PM | | Friends with benifits can be a good thing or bad depending on who you are with. Yes it can happen. I have a male friend whom I have been best friends with for coming on 16 years now. We care for one another, we respect one another and we have slept together several times, yet we still feel nothing but friendship towards one another. It's odd and rare, but it does happen. More often than not one party ends up falling in love, and someone gets hurt. But in some circumstances it works. | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/19/2006 6:41:38 AM | Only someone with low self esteem would submit themselves to this type of thing. Also - the sex goes bad after you figure out that the person you are sleeping with couldn't give a rats ass about you.
Unfortunately though = everone these days thinks there is something better out there for them. 20 years from now when ya'll are a little long in the tooth to be hopping in the sack with people who could care less about you - the world is going to be a really scary place. Let's see how those terminally addicted to the "Friends with Benefits" theory feel. I know its not going to be pretty....in fact i am laughing about all the losers who have wasted the years.
You are supposed to be finding the person who is most compatible with you - sex is a barometer of how well two people are really relating. All the other shit is meaningless and to tell you the truth - going on the sex with benefits train is in the end going to make you realize that that person - 3 friends ago you should have stuck with.
Grow up people. | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/19/2006 11:38:35 AM | As long as both parties are completely honest with eachother. No unrealistic expectations, and everyone is on the same page..then its all goooood!!!!
I have had a couple of rather long ongoing fwb relationships on seperate occasions of course. They were great, I had lots of friends to go out with, always on the go....didn't need a boyfriend to do things. However, at the end of a night out with the girls, always nice to know I could go to someone safe and secure and get all my needs taken care of. Definatly better then picking up someone random! | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/19/2006 12:33:15 PM | i don't see this as a bad thing, i agree that it can be difficult at times to seperate the difference,and eventually someone wants more, but if you can get along, and not get too crazy, then why not, everyone needs a little attention,now and then,and if you have great sex then, all the better, but i guess that if the sex wasn't great you'd find a new freind,and its also clean safe fun | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/19/2006 12:37:20 PM | | Well if you have a FWB, how can you be sure the other person doesnt have another or another?? Im not risking my health thank you! There are plenty of other ways to satisfy! I guess Im a little old fashioned I like my men one at a time! Sheeeeeeeesh! | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/19/2006 12:56:42 PM | No, they are not good!! Feelings always end up hurt, whether it be you or your partner. It's not worth it most of the time.
I want 1 at a time and thats it! I don't want to share at all! | |
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Rus
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Joined: 1/22/2005
Msg: 86 | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/19/2006 10:26:40 PM |
Friends with benifits can be a good thing or bad depending on who you are with. Yes it can happen. I have a male friend whom I have been best friends with for coming on 16 years now. We care for one another, we respect one another and we have slept together several times, yet we still feel nothing but friendship towards one another. It's odd and rare, but it does happen. More often than not one party ends up falling in love, and someone gets hurt. But in some circumstances it works.
I have read all of this with interest. In order for FWB to work then the 2 involved have to be emotionably stable. I have a FWB that I have known for 30 years. At the present time we are both with someone else. When we are single we have gotten together. Yes we do love each other and are best friends but recognize that there is no way in hell that we could live together. | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/19/2006 11:48:01 PM | its fun for a while, but things are bound to get weird between the two.
I used to have one of these. We'd frequent the Venus Theatre to put on exhibitions, but I honestly didn't enjoiy being around her when we weren't there. | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 6/16/2006 12:24:55 PM | It's good for my lifestyle. The tricky part is indeed not falling in love, but I have learned many years back, that even if you do fall in love, it's not that hard to keep it to yourself and just enjoy the feeling while it lasts (it always leaves eventually). I prefer FWBs over traditional relationships because of the flexibility....All of the fun without all the hassle!
I must make mention that I never do FWBs with an established friend...no friendship is worth ruining over sex. And the "friend with benefits" lable is just a polite way of saying "f*ck buddy", it really has nothing to do with true friendship, although I have had some great friendships evolve during and after the sexual aspect of the relationship. | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 6/16/2006 12:54:26 PM | Ok so I figured all you ladies and gentlemen might like to read the following rules and regulations of the "BOOTIE CALL"
Bootie call agreement
This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement")
is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2006,
by_______________________, between ____________and______________.
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it
in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events
of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" crap - only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do
you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup,"
unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced
arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of
your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends,
just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind
when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up,
get dressed and go the f^ck home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My
roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye
contact the better.
19. No condoms, no F^ucking. Carry your ass home.
20. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.
21. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for
your ass.
22. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes ME -- so don't keep calling.
* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the
agreement.
If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this
Agreement,
it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed
from
the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In
other
words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass
understands the rules.
Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________
Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________[
islandsugar posted this for a thread and I think this goes nicely with this one...lol | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 6/16/2006 1:51:23 PM | I’d like to follow up on that – with a few options that would make a FWB agreement more attractive to me.
1. Sleeping over? Sure, if we like. We don’t stop being friends after sex.
2. Meeting in public? Sure, we’re friends, remember?
3. Calls? Anytime. Within reason.
4. “Lovemaking" crap? Absolutely. Tenderness and affection definitely appreciated.
5. Emotional discussions? Yes, anytime. Specially when we need to clear the air. No elephants in the bedroom, please.
6. Plans made in advance? ‘Fraid it’s mandatory, same as my other friendships. How else would we see each other? But spontaneity is sometimes possible.
7. Gifts? Sure, when the spirit moves. But not expected.
8. No baby talk? Mm, not my thing.
9. No asking about former lovers? No spotlight on it, no taboo around it.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges"? Probably not often. We’ll know what we are.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex? Jimmy Dean – OK. Shrek – not so good.
12. No extra clothing? If ya need a drawer, ya get a drawer. And one in the bathroom.
13. No falling asleep right after sex? It’s a friendship, not boot-camp. Sleep when you’re tired.
14. “Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.” Yes, you do. Or we wouldn’t be here.
15. You cannot borrow my car? Negotiable. In emergencies, what’s mine is yours.
16. If anyone asks "We’re friends”? Sure, till we agree otherwise. But your closest friend will know. Who’re we tryin’ to kid?
17. The preferred position? Later.
19. No condoms, no F^ucking? Later.
20. Bring your own drink? Not necessary.
21. No phone use? See boot-camp above.
22. We hook up when? When we both want to.
Participating Party
Signature __ I’d still need to think about it ____________
Date: ________________
Participating Party
Signature____ do we really know what we’re doing here? __________
Date: ________________
 | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 6/16/2006 2:01:21 PM | THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it
in the morning.
2. No meeting in public
3. No calls - we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" crap - only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do
you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup,"
unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced
arrangement.
7. No gifts accepted -
8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of
your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends,
just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind
when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up,
get dressed and go the f^ck home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. No one will ask who you are as no one will ever see you.
17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less I like it like that.
19. No condoms, no F^ucking. Carry your ass home.
20. No drinking
21. No phone use- you're over to do a job
22. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes ME -- so don't keep calling. | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 6/16/2006 2:05:03 PM |
it discourages you from finding a real relationship
Waterbaby - if there were no strings attached, you'd still be free to find that real relationship | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 6/16/2006 2:13:09 PM |
3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.
Yeabut, yeabut . . . Thumper if you were friends you would have things to talk about - wouldn't you? Even if it was just a movie you'd seen on TV last night or some such | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 6/16/2006 2:35:42 PM | ^^^^^^^^ That can be done after 9peeeeeeeeeee em too can't it?
But, shux - jus' dunno - I've never had the opportunity
 | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 6/16/2006 2:46:07 PM |
Only someone with low self esteem would submit themselves to this type of thing. Also - the sex goes bad after you figure out that the person you are sleeping with couldn't give a rats ass about you.
Unfortunately though = everone these days thinks there is something better out there for them. 20 years from now when ya'll are a little long in the tooth to be hopping in the sack with people who could care less about you - the world is going to be a really scary place. Let's see how those terminally addicted to the "Friends with Benefits" theory feel. I know its not going to be pretty....in fact i am laughing about all the losers who have wasted the years.
You are supposed to be finding the person who is most compatible with you - sex is a barometer of how well two people are really relating. All the other shit is meaningless and to tell you the truth - going on the sex with benefits train is in the end going to make you realize that that person - 3 friends ago you should have stuck with.
Grow up people.
this actually made me laugh. i'm not sure if the person who posted this deleted his profile or got deleted...but either way, that kind of uptight thinking is stopping him from having a great time.
sure, i'd much rather have a long-term relationship...but if someone comes along who i'm sexually attracted to and not attracted to in any other way, there's going to be protection...and SPARKS! why deny yourself pleasure? | |
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