| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 1/27/2009 12:36:47 AM | If done right - it's VERY good. As long as BOTH know and understand that there is no hope for a romantic relationship and there is no emotional attachment beyond friendship (and even loose friendship at that maybe) then there's no problem.
Sometimes, you want some action with someone you enjoy spending time with, without the pressure of a relationship.
My last semi-serious FWB situation was great. I had a lot of fun with the guy even when we weren't humping like wild bunnies. We played a card game, sat and listened to amazing jazz music, he made me wicked Indian food, we talked about interesting stuff. Due to him being in Vancouver, me being in Surrey and him not driving though it put a strain on everything. He ended up finding a girlfriend who suited him so perfectly and lived close by. He told me, was very upfront and I had no hard feelings for him. Sure I miss the sex and the friendship (which kind of drifted away for other reasons) but I have no ill will or anything like that. It was fun while it lasted. No one fell in love with the other. We both knew where things weren't going and what not to expect.
So yes, I say if a FWB situation is done properly it can be very rewarding for all parties involved. | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 9/13/2009 7:26:36 PM | There are times when I'd welcome such a friend, but would be concerned about either of us becoming emotionally attached, while the other one doesn't. 
Should that occur the relationship would be difficult and someone is likely to get hurt.
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 9/13/2009 7:50:00 PM | A 'Friend with Benefits' is not the same as a 'Lover'.
I don't think the people in a FWB situation are ever really friends...that they hang out together... call each other up randomly to say hello...how's your day...etc.
Personally I think you are fooling yourself if you think that there is a 'friendship' to the relationship...or that it is even a relationship.
It's a convienence to both parties to be available for sex... consenting partner for a quickie.
now.. a Lover..that is a whole different thing...an yes a relationship....there is time made for more intimacy and getting to know each other... you actually can leave the bedroom and venture out in public together. | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 9/13/2009 8:34:25 PM | I would love to find someone with whom to exchange massages, especially for those days when my neck and shoulder muscles really need a good rub, like right now!!
There would be benefits for that kind of friendship. | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 9/13/2009 8:48:14 PM | Hey how about starting a thread that is like a billboard for people who want to seriously exchange services?
I am all for swapping! I love community mindedness.
BE too bad you are soooooo far away! I would love to exchange massages with you!
Start your lists folks! What are you good at? What do you need?
Or would it be against forum rules?
MN | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 9/13/2009 9:49:43 PM | Balled One...sounds like you are looking for a massage therapist or a chiropractor....lol
or check out CL for Rub n Tugs... | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 9/13/2009 10:40:43 PM | If you want FWB then I say select "Looking for romantic encounters or maybe even looking for friends" when you complete your profile. Then whoever looks at your profile knows exactly where you stand and what you want right from the start. Honesty is the best policy in my book.
Tried friends with benefits once. He got serious or at least that's what he kept telling me. You know things like "you're the perfect woman for me...blah, blah, blah. " I was honest and said I preferred to date for awhile before we started getting physical. My reason for that is simply I think good sex can mask other incompatibilty issues or keep you from seeing things you may NOT like all that much about each other. Without the great sex you might have said "see ya" much sooner and invested time in a relationship that was far more satisfying in many other ways as well being sexually gratifying.
To make a long story short, I did start letting my heart get involved. As soon as I got to that point HE started treating me like we were just friends with benefits!!! Go figure. I decided to say hasta la vista because I didn't want to be with someone who appeared to enjoy playing games or didn't value integrity which is #1 on my list of must haves. | |
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Moanie
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Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 185 | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 9/14/2009 9:14:43 PM | tired to read the copious pages about this subject and had posted on this topic b4.
I liked having FWB and have had a few .. however was at a different head space at the time. They r great when u don`t want someone around all the time, not so great when u want a relationship with someone.
From personal experience... don`t have 1 when ur in a relationship NOT kosher!!
got found out and learnt my lesson well as the relationship i had went out the window. I won`t sacrifice another good relationship for the sake of maintaining a FWB. I couldn`t give up the friendship with the FWB and told the FWB forget this noise all or nothing. Was ready to walk away from the friendship and was told that i wasnt going anywhere. Forced FWB to become exclusive, so guess it`s all worked out in the wash in the end.
Morale of the story FWB R good only if ur ready to play with fire cuz ur going to get burnt in the end.
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 9/15/2009 12:47:29 AM | Definition of benefits - something that is good for you, helps you, gives you value of some sort (no one actually looks up definitions any more do they?)
By definition (trust me) it has to be good for you!
The thing that is bad bad bad for you is... FWBP's the friend's partners (as previously noted above), FWGG (Friends who get greedy), FWHD (friends who have diseases), and UWRNFAA (Users who are not friends at all).
i.e.,Lose the friend, not the benefit principle.
~ Really a Closet Prude | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 9/15/2009 4:23:53 AM | | I wouldn't risk losing any of my good friends by having that kind of relationship. Though sleeping in the same bed with friends and just cuddling can be really nice, especially if you've been single a while :) | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 9/15/2009 9:09:18 AM | (no one actually looks up definitions any more do they?)
you must be new here
maybe you are right tho, most look up interpretations 
definition of friend....????????
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement:
friends of the clean air movement. insert: clean sex & movement
the good for you/me seems the troublesome part in the benefit scenario
interpretations:
good for me does not have to = good for you
good for you does not have to = good for me
does that mean good for hast to = both you and me ?
Then we get to the what if : it is godder fer you, now what we do?
Doesn't friendship also include a touch of unselfishness?
By definition (trust me) it has to be good for you!
I think I can like that, just make sure to keep it that way | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 9/15/2009 5:02:56 PM | It appears the general consensus is that a friend with benefits can be a good thing until one partner's expectations change, then it becomes a bad thing.
Sounds pretty much like any relationship to me.  | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 9/15/2009 5:58:07 PM |
Sounds pretty much like any relationship to me
isn't anything at least two or more people do together a relationship?
Just a matter of duration:
quick one, single or multiple
slow one, single or multiple
day long, single or multiple
week long.....
month long...
year long, some are bland in color others use two or more , even rainbow color
but eventually all ends with
so long  | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 9/15/2009 8:16:38 PM | I really think FWB can be amasing, not for all people for sure. Don't get attached, it's not a good plan. I think it's a good in between relationship solution, hell ya!
Giver! ;) | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:14:47 AM | When I first came on Pof I tried to get across where I was at on my profile, and all I got was some upset responses by women thinking all I wanted was sex, which wasn't true at all .
I had figured that maybe there was a woman out there that is separated, and for whatever reason wouldn't want to "come out" in a new relationship just yet, but was also feeling quite lonely etc.. Like maybe she doesn't want her children to know , or she's the one that ended the relationship and it's over, but she doesn't want to further hurt her spouse...
So needless to say I had a few bitter responses... I still to this day have never messaged anyone on Pof in a pursuing way or to get a "date" etc.. Those were just some first contact messages sent to me by some lady's on here from my first profile at the time..
For me I don't believe a friends with benefits can really work, maybe for some who knows?. I would definitely want to be exclusive to each other only in the sexual department, and also get tested first before any of the good stuff starts to happen etc.. From reading through the forums and just looking around at society, it sometimes seems like people forget the times we live in, and promiscuity seems to be alive and well, scary!
Also ladies!!! Please don't always be afraid of someone who is separated, for some that does mean it really is over, and they are done... Anyhow I live in a dead town compared to back home in BC, so hard to compare the so called "Friends with Benefits" scenario in this neck of the woods .. I think I'm a relationship kind of guy anyhow.. | |
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| Friends with Benefits..good or bad
Posted: 9/18/2009 6:18:59 PM | Sex with no strings attached is great until one partner decides he wants a commitment.
The whole experience became time consuming and it drained my energy.
I tried tantra once then returned to FWB. Now I want to remain with tantra.
Tantra in a committed relationship outweighs the FWB on every level. | |
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