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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?      Home login  
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 aimeshigh
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 726
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out? Page 30 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
i totally disagree on what you are saying about it being a cope out i have two girls the school system does not even know about there medical issues in that sense and trust me they do not sit there and say that my kids are adhd and for that matter there is a differenc between adhs and add also try dealing with 2 that also odd (oppisiotional diffiate disorder) and as far as not teaching my kids on how to behave in a public place my kids are brought up in a trust loving home and people like you have no right to say anything if you cannot back up what you are saying than you need to do your research first before opening up your mouth and maybe its your kids that are not behaving in public maybe you need to teach them some manners and quit using this as a cope out for you ....my kids were diagnosed at age three not when they were school age..maybe there is a problem at your house
 ymeee
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 727
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/10/2007 6:31:20 PM
i myself was one of those kids who never slept or slowed down never wanted to listen or concentrate for very long on one thing for very long . They wanted to put me on med but my mom said no which was the correct choice for me .
i believe it is a copp out why dumb down a kid whos leaning potential is far greater than average with meds ? i believe many of the greatest minds ever would have probably been diagnosed with adhd or add simply because they thought and acted differently from the norm. people thought they were crazy.
just because they wont settle down and focus just because you can is no need to make those people dumb with drugs.

when people are dumb we call them "SLOW"

and when people are smart we call them "quick"

therefor when people are geinioses we should call them what "adhd/add"
just my thoughts
 plzbsane
Joined: 9/19/2007
Msg: 728
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/11/2007 12:55:04 PM
What really irks me is people who make a definite opinion either way So much for being open minded and neutral. Makes me sad for the cases that ARE legitimate; they may not get the help they need because someone had their mind made up that it was a cop out. Poor kids! I did my research on ADHD and wrote a paper on it being neutral and fair to both sides. When I was told my son had autism, I didn't deny it. I said,"okay, what can I do to help him develop and be a happy child?". Okay, I'll get off my soap box now! lol
 my eyes have seen
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 729
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/11/2007 1:17:28 PM
I have to agree with Kevin......A responsible, loving and educated parent would not medicate their child before doing an extended diagnosis. Diagnosing most children is not something done over night . As for my son we diagnoised for 2 or more years before deciding on a medication for his hyper activity and tantrums. Most ADHD children have other behavior factors involved along with the ADHD. One of them is ODD which is Oppositional Defiant Disorder.....No, that one you do not treat with medication but with a good behavioral plan. Parents that educate themselves don't just jump into a Drs immediate treatment plan but they work at making life as normal as possible for the child who has a hard time.
Diet, A consistent schedule, Low levels of stimulating activities along with medication and praise for when your child does comply or do something well are all tools for the truly ADHD.
 JuJuBee
Joined: 1/24/2004
Msg: 730
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/11/2007 7:08:58 PM

Parents that educate themselves don't just jump into a Drs immediate treatment plan but they work at making life as normal as possible for the child who has a hard time.


It's hard to have a normal life for a child w/o knowing exactly what I'm dealing with as a parent. If it takes a treatment plan, I'm willing to try it. My child deserves the best information I can research & act on, doesn't he?
 honestyplustwo
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 731
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/12/2007 6:47:48 AM
I have to agree with the poster who questioned our openmindeness.

The bottom line is the success of our children.

Sometimes a change in diet brings about that success.
Sometimes it's a change in their educational system.
Sometimes it's medication.

As with any other illness, one answer is not always THE answer, and you sometimes have to try several different avenues before you find what's right. Diabetes is a prime example - soemtimes you need medication, sometimes it can be controlled with diet.

The truth is - no two children are alike. No two parents are alike. And no ONE answer is the RIGHT answer.

I think the reason so many of us who DO choose to medicate feel like we're put on the defensive is because those who DON'T medicate (or who don't have children like this) use terms like "drugging your kids," "turning your kids into zombies," "cop out," and other terms that make us sound like parents who hunted for doctors who would say "here, give you kid this and he'll behave."

It's all about the kids.
 WinnipegStormchild
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 732
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/12/2007 9:01:40 AM
One of my sons was diagnosed as A.D.H.D. with emphasise on the attention disorder..
This dianoses was made only after hours of testing by a occupational therapist and his pediatrician. He was placed on low dose medication.. we tried it for a year.. must be honest his school work improved but the side effect was that his appitite decreased to the point where he was not growing properly, suffice to say I took him of the meds..
He is in High school now.. still has a sever reading problem.. and problems with a school that really doesnt understand that he does have the condition and that he won't be placed on meds..
I think that there are truely some children that have the condition.. like my son that have only been diagnosed after complete testing..
I also believe that there are a bunch of kids that have been miss diagnosed, and placed on pills that the have no buisness being on..
Some children have naturally high energy and instead of pills would be better off if parents would remove sugar from the diets and get them outside doing some organised sport so that energy could be put to some good use.
well thats my two cents worth..
 eastcoast_girl
Joined: 7/31/2007
Msg: 733
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/12/2007 12:44:06 PM
I am a single parent of two teenagers. My daughter was put on ritalin at the age of 8 because of behavior and learning difficulties. She is now 12 and there had been no improovement in her schooling.To the contrary. The shcool decided to put her in a "special learning class" for two hours a day.(minimum required by law). This was not acceptable to me. (my older child is in his first year of high school and doing very well). We had been to Mental Health, Psychologists, Phycopsychologists, Pediatricians, Pshchiatrists...you name it. (darn spellcheck not working lol)
Until I (as a frustrated parent) demanded a pshchological evaluation and they came to the conclusion that my child was NOT ADD or ADHD, but rather a highly functioning autistic. So while ADD and ADHD are real conditions in itself, if your child isnt responding to the medication, have othher assessments done for their sake. With my child being on the "Right" medication, I have seen vast improvements in her schooling and overall behavior and attitude.
I hope this helps!
 tenbears17292
Joined: 6/25/2005
Msg: 734
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/12/2007 6:17:54 PM
^^^^^^^you might want to try the special ed class as a member of that class myself it did wonders here as They learned with me that it was in fact that I had a high IQ and was typically board in class the special attention was all I need to start to excel
 eastcoast_girl
Joined: 7/31/2007
Msg: 735
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/12/2007 7:21:11 PM
The school had my daughter in special classes since the third grade. They have removed her from regular classes and gave her one on one tutors. Which is good on one hand but now she doesnt have the social skills most teens have. Now that we have a clear diagnosis, things should keep improving. Thanks for your comment tenbears, I appreciate it.
 a_sweet_fishy
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 736
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/12/2007 7:21:47 PM

He is in High school now.. still has a sever reading problem.. and problems with a school that really doesnt understand that he does have the condition and that he won't be placed on meds..
I think that there are truely some children that have the condition.. like my son that have only been diagnosed after complete testing..
I also believe that there are a bunch of kids that have been miss diagnosed, and placed on pills that the have no buisness being on..
Some children have naturally high energy and instead of pills would be better off if parents would remove sugar from the diets and get them outside doing some organised sport so that energy could be put to some good use.
well thats my two cents worth..


You say that, basically, your child is doing horribly in school and then proceed to say you refuse needed meds and give advice on what parents SHOULD be doing to solve the problems their children have. This just makes no sense.

I kept my child off meds for about a year. We found that giving him caffeine would help tremendously. However, I can't follow him around at school pouring coffee in his mouth. His last report card was mostly D's and F's and this is a child with an almost genius level IQ. He was also slowly starting to lose every single friend he had. We just started Stratterra and are hoping for the best. While giving my child meds is not something I WANT to do, I simply refuse to jeopardize his entire future. We have tried everything there is to try and with him, meds are the only thing that work.
 WinnipegStormchild
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 737
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/12/2007 8:22:01 PM
Not every child with these conditions has to be placed on meds ... some children can succeed with out the medication given the proper diets and support ..
My son was on medication for a year... the affect were such sever suppressed appitite that it put him approx .. 2 years behind in growth.. and that was on a extremely mild dose of the meds..
My son does well in all classes that require hands on.. power mechanics, welding , carpentry, he also scores above 95 percent in all maths..
Children with some forms of A.D.D. do not have to be on meds.. what the need is support both from home and school..
As I stated his school staff does not have the experience in dealing with a child with his A.D.D. .. if they did I would not be the one having to educate them on helping him succeed..
I am glad that you found what was needed for your child ... just as I have found what was needed for mine... every child is different and cannot be grouped together .. each is an individual and needs a course of action or treatment , specifically designed for each individual child.
 Manwiffkiddies
Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 738
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/13/2007 2:36:40 AM
It's not quite a cop out, but not quite a medical condition either imho.

Everything is a made out to be a 'condition' these days. Obesity is an epidemic. If you've suffered some tragedy and are having a hard time coping, suddenly you have "PTSD". For crying out loud, they've got "You can't get it up" syndrome now. The U.S. is the wealthiest country in the world and it consumes 95% of the antidepressants. /boggle

What it boils down to is that things that up until recently (meaning the past 50 years) were seemingly normal hurdles in life, they've got pills for.

The danger of 'conditions' like ADHD is that usually (as in the OP pointed out) it's the parents that make the diagnosis. It's way too easy for parents that don't want to deal with their kids to attain and abuse these drugs.
 shy_lovin_gal
Joined: 4/6/2005
Msg: 739
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:16:06 AM
Well I see it both ways and when my girl started to have problems in school and testing was done I had a lot to think about that was for sure.. I was a stay at home mom and my kids had all of me they needed kids being kids running around didnt bother me at all I always had extra kids and they can play as loud and rough as they wanted they are kids after all ... but at school my daughter was having a hard time it was a small country school where everyone cars about everyone teachers most of them had been in the school since my ex and I had gone there. She just couldnt sit still was always off in some space and it made her sad that she couldnt sit like the others .. The test said she had add and adhd I agreed to the meds for one reason that was so she could do her school work i put her on the lowest and never raised it like the doc wanted me to it was just enough to let her learn and she took off an made big impovements.. I dont give them to her on the weekend or on vactions i feel she needs to be a kids but for school so she can learn and not have to fight it all the way yes the meds is what is for her. My mom or ex mother in law didnt like it but it was for her not because i want my child to make my life easy but for her life at school to be easy
 jvcv_1234
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 740
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 1/21/2008 3:49:17 AM
I'm appalled that someone would say it's a cop out!! I have a wonderful 14 year old daughter who was taught respect, manners and the proper way to act in private and public. She never was an uncontrollable child but always very hyper. Until the last few years she did excellent in school but her grades and social skills began to fall off severely. Her mother (The know it all with the Cosmopolitan Medical license) said the same thing as you have. It's just a cop out to get out of her responsibilities or school work. She's just plain lazy...Heard all the same Bullsh*t from her as you have posted. So with the inability to empathize she let her life denigrate right in front of us...went from all A's to complete F's...Fighting and arguing with everyone including her Mother.

It took close to two years to get custody away from her mother and had her enrolled in counseling, at which point she was diagnosed ADD and put on medication to help....And it DID! Her social skills and personality has improved 100% along with her grades at school. Her teachers have contacted me wanting to know what drastic changes have occurred? She's polite, respectful and participates in class now. Night and day difference...So maybe you don't know what your talking about? I agree that a large amount of kids out their are misdiagnose but the REAL Doctors and scientist that create and test theses psychological meds are the only people qualified to make a judgement on their necessity, not you! And if you read your own post and the description of your children's need for constant stimulation you see that they exhibit the symptoms of ADHD...Your ignorance is amazing!

Sorry if this sounds harsh and disrespectful, but closed minded people like you and my ex cause our kids to go through years of mental and emotional pain for no other reason than selfishness...Unable to admit that maybe you don't know everything and refusing to put your child's mental development before your own ideals! That really upsets me...Especially since I've seen the pros and cons of meds first hand.
 griffyq
Joined: 8/2/2007
Msg: 741
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 1/21/2008 4:18:17 AM
First of all, it is Ritalin people - not Riddilan, Ridilan, Ridalin...or any of the other spellings that I read. Had you really read up on the topic then you should know how to spell the drug. Ritalin is only one of about 20 different drugs used to treat ADHD. If one drug makes your child a zombie then it is the wrong medication. The people who most strongly disagree with the ADHD diagnosis do not have children afflicted with it obviously. It has nothing to do with "beating their ass" as one person stated. These kids do not respond to discipline, or in this case abuse, like other children. Most of the testing that everyone mentions are standardized questionnaires filled out by the parent and teachers. The doctor simply conveys the results and the meaning, which due to the nature of the tests being standardized, leaves no room for personal interpretation.
 TAKEN fab-mom
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 742
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 1/21/2008 6:23:17 AM
I'll say it. It's a cop out. Kids are hyper. Kids get bored. They overreact and act out. That doesn't mean that we should dope them up to calm them down. I was appalled when my sister was going to start treating my nephew for his diagnosed ADD. Sure...lets drug him up so he doesn't talk during class or fidget with his pen. ...

Well, after taking him to several different doctors and psychologists it was found that his IQ level was extremely high and he was placed in advanced placement classes and has not been a problem since. Sure he's still your average kid that will climb up your walls but I'd rather see that then him be a shell of his original person.

It's an easy solution to a hyper child.
 a_sweet_fishy
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 743
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 1/21/2008 7:52:16 AM
I'll say it. It's a cop out. Kids are hyper. Kids get bored. They overreact and act out. That doesn't mean that we should dope them up to calm them down. I was appalled when my sister was going to start treating my nephew for his diagnosed ADD. Sure...lets drug him up so he doesn't talk during class or fidget with his pen. ...

Well, after taking him to several different doctors and psychologists it was found that his IQ level was extremely high and he was placed in advanced placement classes and has not been a problem since. Sure he's still your average kid that will climb up your walls but I'd rather see that then him be a shell of his original person.

It's an easy solution to a hyper child.


First, there is no "easy solution to a hyper child". Second, you obviously have no clue what you are talking about. A child who does not have ADD or ADHD is NOT going to be turned into a "zombie" with ritalin or any of the other drugs to control these disorders. They are stimulants. I will repeat this, alright, STIMULANTS. They do not slow down the brain, they speed it up. Just happens to speed up the part that control impulses, therefore ADD and ADHD kids can control themselves. If anything, a "normal" kid on these meds would be more hyper. I get so sick of hearing people claim children are drugged so parents don't have to train them. It is an absurd notion. When parents start giving their kids valium, then I might listen. As I stated before, one of the most calming things for my son is a nice, strong, cup of coffee. Try that with a "normal" kid. It isn't about bad behavior. My child (the oldest of my 3 and the only one with this problem) is one of the most well behaved kids around, on or off his meds. He just CAN'T focus without them. Everything he has is put into sitting still. He can't listen, he can't learn. I DO believe certain groups are more prone to these disorders....perhaps poverty level families don't get proper nutrition, I just don't have an answer, but I do know it is real. Many of these are the exact same families who don't seem to understand proper discipline either (I am NOT running down all poverty level people, it is just all too common) which makes it APPEAR this is the cause.

I know the cause of my son's ADHD. He was a 25 week preemie. Weighed 1 lb 14 oz and had a grade 3 cerebral hemorage. Yes, my child has brain damage. If ADHD is the worst to come of it (and so far it seems it is) then I think we did alright.
 TAKEN fab-mom
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 744
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:05:58 AM
I don't care..it's still drugging your child to change their behavior. And I never said anything about "zombie" so before you start ranting figure out who you are talking to. And have you EVER spoken to anyone that grew up on ritalin? even they will tell you it made them feel like they were in a cloud. Kind of a daze.
 skyydancerdreaming
Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 745
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:29:00 AM
"These kids do not respond to discipline, or in this case abuse, like other children."

Griffy, I had a friend whose child was hyper, didn't listen, was a total brat - you know the type and was placed on Ritalin. His mother just couldn't "handle" him. The funny thing is, when he was around his father, this boy was an angel. You want to know why? His father didn't take any crap from him! He respected his father, listened to him, and was a very well behaved child with him. And, before you ask, yes, this was before he was prescribed Ritalin. I do believe there are some cases where the child truly needs Ritalin, but I believe they are rare.

In the cases where I have seen parents pulling their hair out because they can't handle their child and want to get them diagnosed and put on Ritalin, these parents DID NOT DISCIPLINE their children. They let them run the show and run wild when they were toddlers. Then, when the child was around 4-5 years old and totally out of control because they never experienced the word NO and they never were held accountable for THEIR actions, the parents whined and wimpered and wanted to drug them. Yes, I said drug them.

Some kids are naturally more hyper than others -- that is normal! What is not normal are these parents that are afraid to discipline their child. Take a look around you and observe closely. The little brats (yes, I said brats) who run around screaming and throwing tantrums whenever they can't get their way, know that their parents will give in to them when they do that. Children are not stupid. They learn very early on what they can and cannot get away with. Discipline is tough! It's much easier to let the child to what they want. Discipline takes effort, consistency, and tough love. So many parents out there can't be bothered doing what it takes to raise a well behaved child, then they whine and cry about what went wrong, get some lovely little pills for their children, and life is good. How pathetic. Maybe they ought to give the parents some drugs that lower their stress levels, along with some parenting classes. They maybe, just maybe, these parents would learn that it's up to them, not drugs, to discipline their child. Hmmm...now there's a novel idea, too bad no one's thought of it!
 a_sweet_fishy
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 746
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:54:51 AM

I don't care..it's still drugging your child to change their behavior. And I never said anything about "zombie" so before you start ranting figure out who you are talking to. And have you EVER spoken to anyone that grew up on ritalin? even they will tell you it made them feel like they were in a cloud. Kind of a daze.


First, it is not necessarily drugging your child to change their behavior. In fact, one of the first things I discussed with my son's doctors was that I would NOT put him on anything that would change him. I don't just love my son, I like him too. We tried ritalin first and it was AWFUL. It did change him so we flushed it and tried others. We finally ended up with concerta (which is still ritalin but absorbed and released differently) and loved it. He was my same active, happy, friendly, fun, playful, child. Not every parent wants to put their child in a drugged haze. Most do not.

Second, I knew full well who I was talking to. You may not have used the exact word "zombie" but made it clear that parents are using the meds to make their child silent and immobile. so, even if you did not use the exact word so many here have, you still jumnped on the zombie bandwagon with both feet. It is so incredibly easy to judge that which you do not understand, isn't it. I can assure you, if your nephew was started on meds and truly did not have ADD or ADHD, they would NOT have had the desired effect. Maybe he was mis-diagnosed (which does happen....see above, the little girl for whom the meds did not work at all) or maybe this was all it took for this particular child. Every child is different. Some have to have meds. Some do not. Mine is one who does, and I have spent countless hours awake, worrying, frightened, depressed, feeling helpless, but in the end, KNOWING his future is worth making sure he is not left behind. This is the only way for him. For most parents, giving their child meds is not a choice they take lightly.
 TAKEN fab-mom
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 747
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 1/21/2008 12:07:20 PM
Once again you are twisting my words but if I type anymore you'll just twist that up too. And it's amazing how just because your child was diagnosed with this "illness" that you all of a sudden become an expert. No matter how you twist it up you gave your child a drug to control his/her actions. I understand that your child has brain damage and therefor might have a legitimate excuse to be on medication (although to me it sounds like you and the doctors are just treating the symptoms and not the cause)

My nephew was diagnosed by 2 seperate doctors with this "disease" before my sister took him to an out of state specialty clinic and got the proper and correct diagnosis. I can see how some parents would just take the doctors advise and run with it. They are stressed and tired with an overactive child and have been giving some hope of relief. But it is still medicating a CHILD that has no say in it and it will affect their personality....why else would you give it to them if it wasn't going to "help" with their little kwirks.
 TAKEN fab-mom
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 748
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 1/21/2008 12:08:41 PM
What the heck did all the hyper, unfocused kids do before we could legally drug them?
 toddy666
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 749
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 1/21/2008 12:23:53 PM
fishy i agree with you i have care of my son that has adhd. I didnt want meds for him but my ex wife put him on meds. Now i have full time care of him iv cut down but not stopped his meds.
After a long chat with his doctor we have come to a plan to slowly reduce his intake until we feel he can cope. We also included him in the discusion. Its is def not a cop out but in some cases i think maybe mis-diagnosed.
Iv been to adhd help groups with a room full of boys and girls with the disorder and the kids in genaral are lovely kids.
i wish everybody looking after add, adhd or aspergers all the luck in the world
take care
 a_sweet_fishy
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 750
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 1/21/2008 2:13:06 PM

What the heck did all the hyper, unfocused kids do before we could legally drug them?


Well, that is an easy one, isn't it. They are the out of work, drug addicted, fell through the cracks because no one knew what to do with them degenrates you see thousands of every day. They are the people who started life with unlimited potential and couldn't cope, couldn't handle life, and were pushed to the side. They now fill up the prisons and the soup kitchens of the world. You can say and believe what you want, I (and most people I know) never medicated their child out of frustration and to control their "kwirks". Personally, I did it so my child could actually lsiten to the teacher instead of pinching the side of his leg, chewing on his jaw 'til it bled, and rapidly bouncing his feet just so he could sit in his chair. When he started school they said he could never learn to read, that he was retarded. I KNEW they were wrong. He is 10 now. Just a couple of weeks ago they tested to re determind their reading levels. His is now set at a 12th grade level. I knew his potential and knew I had to do what it took to help him. I never claimed to be an expert. You are the one claiming to know what is best for all children. It is incredibly funny you say that the doctors and I are treating the symptoms not the cause of my child's problems. Try to think here, the CAUSE is brain damage sustained at birth. would you suggest I try to cram him back in my uterus (he is kinda big for that at 10) and see if I can do better this time around?

Thanks, toddy666, and good luck. I know how hard it can be. We weaned him off medication for almost a year and then had no choice but to go back on it. I couldn't let him fail. :(
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