|
|
|
|
|
| | single and forty....Page 10 of 10 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10) |
Seems the only messages I get are from fat women who smoke with a car load of kids... sorry no.
guess it's time to look to eastern europe for women.
There are plenty of uh.. "fat" women in europe too.. i'm not sure if their kids smoke cigars with their Mom in their cars though.
Isn't that a "french" thing? lol | |
|
| single and forty....
Posted: 6/3/2010 4:35:22 PM |
Wow I have yet to ever have a woman want to be a FWB. I always figured that was reserved only for the really good looking men out there. Wouldn't it be impossible for an average looking guy to find a FWB?
No, actually. Finding a FWB is not about looks, any more than dating is. It's just harder because it's a situation that many may not want. If you're talking about being FWB with a hottie -- then yeah, the guy's looks plays into THAT role -- same as dating one. It's all about a gal who's cool with that. In fact, if you were REALLY a hottie, it'd be hard to have girls not want to geninely date you. A gal's more apt to be cool with FWB (if she is okay with the concept itself) if she's not THAT into you.
I send out messages to women my age and get NO REPLIES.
What you wrote and who you wrote to probably determines that. POF is harder I would think, than match. You have to pay over there, hence, less competition.
I'm not hanging out in bars hoping to pick up someone. I'm honest and genuine.
Going to a bar and picking up a woman isn't a dishonest and ingenuous exercise... not any more than going online and picking up a woman. I mean picking up a woman by having conversation, garnering interest, and getting a phone #. Taking it beyond that may not be your cup of tea, but I just thought I'd point out that when one does take it further right then and there -- it's not dishonest. Once can choose to be, though, of course.
I'd suggest going to a laid-back bar, if available, that has an older mid-30 to mid-40 crowd. A nice restaurant with a bar is a classic example... of course, one that has a decent amount of patrons.
As far as POF is concerned, go to profile reviews -- maybe some folks can help ya out. My thoughts are -- who are your targets, what are you writing, and also -- full-body pictures help. They're not going to take your word for it that you don't have a beer gut. Decent catches get tons of mail. | |
|
| single and forty....
Posted: 6/3/2010 7:25:50 PM | No, actually. Finding a FWB is not about looks, any more than dating is. It's just harder because it's a situation that many may not want. If you're talking about being FWB with a hottie -- then yeah, the guy's looks plays into THAT role -- same as dating one. It's all about a gal who's cool with that. In fact, if you were REALLY a hottie, it'd be hard to have girls not want to geninely date you. A gal's more apt to be cool with FWB (if she is okay with the concept itself) if she's not THAT into you
FWB on the woman's end is high on looks. Meaning he has to turn her on when she looks at him. There is no way for example that any women, even on POF, would be looking at my pics, chatting to me, even meeting me and think "I don't want anything serious with him but I wouldn't mind a regular romp every now and then" because I am not a HOTTIE. I am average, which I don't see any problem with. But most women out there who are looking to hang out or a FWB is going to want a guy who they are more sexually attracted to than a guy they are not THAT into.
I would never look for a hottie per say for anything, because this is where most of us men over 40 start to overlook the main thing. When you are attempting to fish out of your league, you are bound to get no bites on your line. Women over 40 have a wide selection of men from 30+ to pick from. And more will be physically attracted to the guy who is in his early/mid 30's easily, before a guy in his 40's. And a FWB is more than likely with a great looking guy who is younger. Is just human nature. But as men we tend to not want to believe the truth. These days less younger women will date older men, more older women will date younger men. Leaves alot more single men in their 40's. The times have somewhat changed.
But I will say if you are willing to not be cheap in your 40's, then for sure women will take a chance on you if you are decent. It is true if a guy is generous in spending his money on a woman, he will attract alot more. I look at it as making up for the downfalls or the flaws in one's self physically. It is a way of getting your foot in the door. The woman may not think you are all that great looking BUT if she does take a chance on meeting you, take her somewhere nice and don't be cheap. She will then be more impressed and then you get to genuinely show her who you are as opposed to her thinking "This guy is not only unattractive, he is cheap too." | |
|
| single and forty....
Posted: 7/6/2010 1:50:16 AM | look around at your friends, if you are single now...and they are all married; statistically the marriages all start to disolve around the 41-45 mark, right about the time the kids are out of the house, or close to it; someone finds a twenty something that will pay attention to them (either sex)... and my favorite someone gets a new tattoo or motorcycle. That marriage is on the way to being over.
(it was my prime market for sales when I was working the cycle biz; could not believe the number of divorces through the doors down at the shop) | |
|
| single and forty....
Posted: 7/16/2010 2:02:09 PM | | Over 40, shot by a terrorist? Come on now, don't be silly. I for one, met the love of my life we we were both close to 50. A lot of the problems people have is after being hurt in various ways they throw up such high barriers. | |
|
| single and forty....
Posted: 7/19/2010 11:13:40 PM | According to the Justice Department, you are now really screwed. There are no more 'radical islamic jihadi terrorists' and since they no longer
'exist'.... well you chances of getting shot by one just dramatically went to infintesimal proportions.  | |
|
| single and forty....
Posted: 7/20/2010 7:28:52 AM | I think many people are pretty nervous about starting a new long-term relationship when they are in their 40's. We know that the initial bloom and lust wears off over time. We are a little smarter, more cautious and less impulsive when it comes to commitment. Finances and kids also play a huge role in these decisions. So yeah.. I'd say that there is probably some truth to that statement.
That is a luxury many women approaching their 40's can't afford if they want to get married (again) or have another LTR.
Learn from your experience and adapt.
It really isn't "smarter" to waste time you should be using more productively. You can mange your finances in and out of relationships and being in a relationship doesn't guarantee a loss of ones ability to assess risk.
If you want the luxury of making your children the absolute centre of your life, fine .. it won't do them any good but as long as it makes you feel wanted and generally better.
| |
|
| single and forty....
Posted: 7/20/2010 2:52:52 PM |
I think many people are pretty nervous about starting a new long-term relationship when they are in their 40's. We know that the initial bloom and lust wears off over time. We are a little smarter, more cautious and less impulsive when it comes to commitment. Finances and kids also play a huge role in these decisions. So yeah.. I'd say that there is probably some truth to that statement. That is a luxury many women approaching their 40's can't afford if they want to get married (again) or have another LTR. Learn from your experience and adapt. It really isn't "smarter" to waste time you should be using more productively. You can mange your finances in and out of relationships and being in a relationship doesn't guarantee a loss of ones ability to assess risk. If you want the luxury of making your children the absolute centre of your life, fine .. it won't do them any good but as long as it makes you feel wanted and generally better.
LOL!! HUH???????????? Do you really think that those of us who were single and approaching 40 were wasting time because we weren't consumed with finding a LTR? That's about the silliest thing I've read today (and I've read some sillllllllllllllly stuff today!) For most of us, our children were our primary focus long before we became single (and I see no where in that quote when that poster indicates that her children are the center of her existence, anyway!) Regardless? Life doesn't revolve around having an LTR, at any age, and if it does? Something's wrong. It's a wonderful addition to a full life, but life can be lived VERY fully without a LTR in place.
~OT~ Personally? I find that the older I get the more open to a LTR I become. Doesn't mean I'm actively pursuing anything, just means if someone wonderful were fall from the sky into my front yard, I would call 911 and see where things might go from there (after he gets over the injuries sustained from the fall, of course.) Otherwise? It's not likely I'll be half of a couple anytime soon. And that's just fine with me. JMO  | |
|
| single and forty....
Posted: 8/7/2010 4:10:19 PM | My thinking is, many people when they were in their 20's and early 30's viewed being 40 as married, kids, etc. So when they hit 40 and are single, it is sometimes a thought of "Where did I go wrong?"
Dating at this age is alot harder and more complicated than when I was in my 20's. I seemed to be naive as I have found as we got older, more people became pickier and made long lists of wants. It is no wonder so many people over 40 are still single. We have either become too unrealistic or have just given up | |
|
| single and forty....
Posted: 8/24/2010 12:42:37 AM |
There is plenty of you sexy woman around when your over 40, just stay away from the old western women because when they turn 30 they are at their peak and its all down hill from there. Personally i wouldnt date a woman over 40, i find their bodies repulsive e.g fat, stretch marks, cellulite. vericous veins etc and its hard to get a hard on over them unless you close your eyes and think of Bai Ling this is why i now have a sexy 21yr old Thai woman. The trick with these women is never bring them to a western country, relocate to Thailand, Philippines or were ever.
Dont give up and dont settle for white trash, once you tried rice you will never go back to potato.
Yo, Mr username My Happiness, what happened to your 21 yr old Thai woman? Did she bail on you?
Nawwwwww, now you're back on POF again ... | |
|
| single and forty....
Posted: 9/12/2010 10:14:42 AM | | Disgreed. Its just (At least with me) the over 40 females out there are jaded, pissed off women who have been either bored by a husband for 16 years, or screwed over by a younger male, who used and abused them. So when I come along, they have "Raised shields" and its hard to get close to them when all they do is hang out with 5-6 other "jaded" females who have "man hating" tendencies and see me as a threat to their "YaYa sisterhood" friendship. | |
|
| single and forty....
Posted: 9/12/2010 12:44:44 PM | I seemed to be naive as I have found as we got older, more people became pickier and made long lists of wants.
True... which has its pros and cons. However, as mid-40s woman pointed out to me before, many guys her age have just 'let themselves go' in a way. Or slip into the atypical "40 year old lifestyle". More lethargic and wanting to sit on the couch... keeping an old-school style that was held from way-back-when, etc.
I'd say it can be a bit harder, since men AND women can aim a little lower in age these days... I'd say that first and foremost, one doesn't have to be an "edgy hipster", but if you're single & 40-sih, have the same appealing lifestyle as someone single and 30-ish.
It is no wonder so many people over 40 are still single. We have either become too unrealistic or have just given up
Well, some people, whether they're 30, 40, or 50, don't necessarily see being single as "lacking" anything at all. Ya gotta put that in perspective. I'm sure as one grows older, they'd want that more, as companionship can be harder to come by... but many people don't need or close to need a relationship.
Of course, sometimes people are too bitter... and as the above poster said about some gals having a YaYa-Sisterhood moments, some people can find high-five-pride in being a bit bitter/negative toward the opposite sex in general because as ya get older, there's less reasonably attractive singles. | |
|
| single and forty....
Posted: 9/12/2010 1:48:53 PM |
Disgreed. Its just (At least with me) the over 40 females out there are jaded, pissed off women who have been either bored by a husband for 16 years, or screwed over by a younger male, who used and abused them. So when I come along, they have "Raised shields" and its hard to get close to them when all they do is hang out with 5-6 other "jaded" females who have "man hating" tendencies and see me as a threat to their "YaYa sisterhood" friendship.
Agreed! Most are emotionally (and some mentally) coo coo...... Not worth the trouble....  | |
|
| single and forty....
Posted: 9/12/2010 3:25:29 PM | | Cenomeno, what I am looking for is a NON-jaded woman who wants to actually date and work on making a relationship.the "datee" needs to be given a higher spot on the Totem Pole than the rest of the Sorority of the YAYA sisterhood margarita pals. I know she exists, I just need to find her. | |
|
| single and forty....
Posted: 11/16/2010 7:04:04 PM | | Have been single over 2 years now, I have not put alot of effort to date anyone... not really many places to meet new people... It is more difficult I do believe, some men I have come across my age only want booty calls. | |
|
| single and forty....
Posted: 11/16/2010 7:45:20 PM | Wow...just reading the last page of this thread makes me mentally coo coo...
Single and forty is what you make it, as with any age in our lives.....I'm personally ready to kick it up and get on the bus to HappyVille...and forty happend a long time ago... | |
|
| single and forty....
Posted: 11/16/2010 11:37:54 PM | Cenomeno, what I am looking for is a NON-jaded "man" who wants to actually date and work on making a relationship.the "datee" needs to be given a higher spot on the Totem Pole than the rest of the "fraternity" of the YAYA "brotherhood" margarita pals. I know "he" exists, I just need to find "him".
There... fixed that for ya :)
(because the jaded and the cynical I have come across in life, work and in divorced groups in the over 40 age it is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy more the guy who is jaded with sky high walls, cynicism and massive overt distrust who will "never let anyone else in" than women on average; though there have been exceptions both ways)
Not making a blanket statement; it is not all of either; just saying personally what I have come across is LITERALLY 10-1 massively distrustful walled off guy to massively distrustful walled off gal.
And I know a lot of divorcees over 40...
just saying it very much goes both ways... peace... | |
|
| single and forty....
Posted: 11/17/2010 3:41:51 PM |
I find that the older I get the more open to a LTR I become.
Me too,,,if only for the fact that as everyday passes my definition of a long term relationship is actually getting shorter in actual time.  | |
|
| single and forty....
Posted: 11/21/2010 3:42:34 AM | | i'm single and about 5 months shy of my 40th birthday.i don't know if i will ever be married and this used to bother me up until a few years back.my feelings about marriage have changed.i put a higher value on good relationships with quality people (whether they are friendships or a intimate/sexual relationship)being married is not as important as that. | |
|
| single and forty....
Posted: 11/22/2010 6:32:34 AM | I think that finding love, a LTR and/or marriage in the Over 40 category would be easier than the 30's. The reason that I believe this? The "Kids" issue is likely already settled, and that would be a great relief off of my mind.
Since most people tend to do the Baby Craze from their mid-20's to late 30's, any 40+ woman I encounter would have likely either:
a) Already have kids from a previous relationship / adoption, or
b) resigned herself to not have any, since most people would deem a 40+ year gap between parent & child "problematic"...
So then all I'd have to do is find a lady I like that falls under category (B), or at least one from category (A) whose kids are either old enough or being supported by their bilogical dad such that it's not my issue, and I can proceed with my idealized relationship of little direct dependence (on me)... I can just focus on THE TWO OF US, which for me, would be a great relief, and thus make me more open to the concept of marriage when I don't have to worry about the Baby Blues...
 | |
|
|
|
|
Page
10
of
10 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
|
|
Home
login 
