| single and forty....
Posted: 12/31/2006 4:45:56 PM | Valid point there stargate. It's interesting to see how society has changed over the last 20 years. I know of many g/f of mine that are divorced and they are now in the 40's bracket yet I also have afew g/f's that heading for their 20 + wedding anniversary. I've been bitten by the divorce bug and it's made me weary (yet I want to re-marry someday) and I've become "picky" for lack of a better word, maybe weary of making the same mistakes again. And I'm so happy  to hear that the above statistic has been shown up to be totally without merit or fact. | |
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| single and forty....
Posted: 12/31/2006 9:22:14 PM | OMG single and 40 ........... sweet memories.
I was married most of my life (33 years 2 marriages)
BUT ........ I was single when I was 40 (between the two marriages) and ..............
The gals were EVERYWHERE from 20 up - they were falling out of the trees - it was raining girls - I had to shovel them out of the way of my car each morning ........ it was horrible - which one tonight lol. | |
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| single and forty....
Posted: 12/31/2006 11:17:38 PM | RON:
it was horrible - which one tonight lol.
Are you saying that the best time was between your 2 marriages? I read that in a book that a man's best time is between his first and second marriage.
Proved to be correct for my ex, anyway.
best of luck!  | |
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| single and forty....
Posted: 12/31/2006 11:40:19 PM | When I was a teen - my dad told me a few things ...... I though he was nuts at the time but - he was right on the mark.
I was a face guy. The girl's face was the most important thing to me. My dad knew that and one day said “son - that will change”
He was right it changed (butt guy here).
He also told me that ... when a guy is about 40 he has it made when it comes to females. I was about 17 when he told me that and I prob did the roll-the-eyes deal.
He was right again. I happened to be single for about 2 years right at that point and - oh man. I had been married 16 years and felt like a fish out of water for about 3 weeks then ................ here they came. | |
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| single and forty....
Posted: 1/1/2007 12:30:39 PM | | Gooooooooooooodddddddddddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll get more things done in my life!!!! | |
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| single and forty....
Posted: 1/1/2007 12:35:36 PM | | btw.......it is better, because, I do not want that piece of paper, ball and chain or one women in my life...at least not now. And, what is nice, I talk and go out with women ages 24 to 44, and they are all different, which makes for some rather interesting nights and mornings.....and afternoons.... | |
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| single and forty....
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:10:06 PM | I wonder if single people over the age of forty and never married have a realistic view of relationships. I can understand the feeling of no wanting to settle for just anyone however all relationship take work to be successful. I never got married with the intent of someday being divorce yet I learned a lot from the loss of my marriage.
The pain of divorce is making me more cautious about finding the right person. At the age of forty there is so much more to factor with kids, dealing with ex spouse, work, etc......
Do people that never marry young suffer a painful relationship that causes them to be as cautious as person that gone through a divorce. | |
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| single and forty....
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:19:51 PM | yup. amazing how so many people agree when the thread was started and still through the years to today. and it suxxxxxxxx | |
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| single and forty....
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:21:17 PM | | I guess it depends on the person as far as them having suffered a painful relationship. I feel as if I am lucky in that I have parted as friends with all the men I have dated, (or at least tried to), and do not still have feelings for anyone that I have dated. If anyone thinks that relationships do not take a lot of work to be successful, then they are living in some sort of fantasy world. We never marrieds seem to be maligned sometimes because we cannot commesurate with the divorced people who are dealing with children or ex spouse, etc. I have been told more than once that I have nothing to bring to a relationship since I have not had to deal with a husband or children. | |
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| single and forty....
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:37:55 PM | Three weeks ago, my cousin got married for the first time...and she's 43!
"I have been told more than once that I have nothing to bring to a relationship since I have not had to deal with a husband or children."
HA! I think those people who say that are just jealous of those who never married and had children. We have ALL THE TIME in the world to do what we want, whenever! We have PLENTY to bring to a relationship, it's called UN-DIVIDED ATTENTION! | |
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| single and forty....
Posted: 9/17/2009 9:13:27 AM | There is plenty of you sexy woman around when your over 40, just stay away from the old western women because when they turn 30 they are at their peak and its all down hill from there. Personally i wouldnt date a woman over 40, i find their bodies repulsive e.g fat, stretch marks, cellulite. vericous veins etc and its hard to get a hard on over them unless you close your eyes and think of Bai Ling this is why i now have a sexy 21yr old Thai woman. The trick with these women is never bring them to a western country, relocate to Thailand, Philippines or were ever.
Dont give up and dont settle for white trash, once you tried rice you will never go back to potato. | |
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| single and forty....
Posted: 9/18/2009 7:10:41 PM | I think everyone has found someone who truly and deeply and sincerely loved them.
They just never felt the same in return for that person.
Truth is you want to find someone that is as much in love with you as you are with them and that rarely happens.
Most people can't even agree on general subject matters in daily life and the expectation is that later in life it should be easier to find someone to be in love with who is equally as in love you as you are with them?
Yeah it is easier to find a terrorist to shoot you than find love.
That's why there's sex, keeps you sane until you do find it. | |
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| single and forty....
Posted: 9/18/2009 8:30:18 PM | "Most people can't even agree on general subject matters in daily life and the expectation is that later in life it should be easier to find someone to be in love with who is equally as in love you as you are with them?"
I guess this leads to my next question. What are the expectations of love? It seems when you fall in love in your teens and twenty's it more of a physical attraction then emotional. In your thirties and older, a loving relationship is focused on the quality of the person based on experiences from past relationships.
Lastly, do people ever really find their soul mate? My thought is that people soul mate is someone like themselves. Boring, wouldn't an ideal mate be someone whose differences from you yet are intriguing. | |
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| single and forty....
Posted: 9/18/2009 9:07:40 PM | | that is so untrue...i have met many couples hwo have been married and are over fifty years old...many relationships break up in the fortys...i am having lots of fun now...i see many opportunities...my confidence has improved...what will happen will happen | |
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| single and forty....
Posted: 9/23/2009 9:32:38 PM | Having been deployed and come back twice, I guess I am running the odds. Since I didnt get shot or blown up by a terrorist/ied; I think I missed the love boat
And having another birthday, I would like to say I couldnt care at it at all.... but I do care LESS.
41 and single | |
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| single and forty....
Posted: 9/24/2009 7:15:25 AM | I absolutely disagree....I met the love of my life at 39, am now 40, he is 46 and we are getting married next year.....we know who we are, what we've been thru and what we want and don't want....we feel blessed every day to have each other and even though we didn't know if we'd get married again (we're both divorced), always held out hope that we'd find 'the one'...every day we find more and more in common...and our families get on well also. We also have similar philosophies on life....it's not just lust, which fades...or responsibility towards raising a family (I never had children and his daughter is grown), it's pure enjoyment of being with your best friend that you're also attracted to. Honestly we can't wait to get married....we've both been thru the mill and are happy to be done with it. We're going for premarital classes and workshops before we do it and have made the decision to talk thru everything, regardless of how hard or painful it is. So, no, I do not believe that you can't find love in your 40's, nor that it won't last. | |
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| single and forty....
Posted: 9/27/2009 7:39:04 AM | | i think there are many reasons for this and....i think that's why men go after younger women. here me out....a lot of people in their 40s have huge baggage from broken relationships and it takes an enormous amount of work to get close to them. a younger woman trusts more and not so much baggage so personally for me, women in their 40s usually have issues with men....i'm not saying all so don't bash me! but i play the odds...odds are i'll find a woman with less baggage, the ability to trust if she's younger so it's not that hard to find love in your 40s you just have to look to a lower age in a woman. | |
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| single and forty....
Posted: 9/27/2009 9:41:29 AM | I agree it's harder due to several scenarios. Many of them that were stated at the beginning is true - being more selective due to finances, baggage, etc. But there is one topic that was not mentioned -- expectations.
I've been on my own after my 2nd marriage for 2 years now (I'm 44). I've been looking for a male companion for about a year and half now. I'm not ready to go through another marriage, but I don't want to go through life without someone to share it with either. But being on POF and reading most of the men's profiles that are around my age (in my area), I've become discouraged. Why?
Men in their 40s are looking for a playmate. I don't care how the profiles read, that is the hidden agenda. The ones that are stating they want long term have expectations of how that woman should look (thin, healthy, gorgeous).
I'm a average woman with a few extra curves. This does not mean I'm not healthy or lazy. It just means I have had to deal with life - marriages, children, working, living -- what other people might call baggage.
If both men and women would look deeper into each other -- maybe there would be less singles over 40 on POF. | |
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| single and forty....
Posted: 9/30/2009 4:44:24 PM | | I am 41 now and with the exception of a few hook-ups I have not been able to find a woman within my age range that wants a LTR. My last gf was 26 (14 years younger) and that was almost a year ago. Prior to that I was in a 10 year relationship. Oh well, guess I'll just have to keep looking huh? | |
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