| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/11/2005 11:10:42 PM | | If I'm truly interested in one person, I doubt I'll be going out with others. But, until both parties agreed that they are very interested in each other and want to remain exclusive during that time, I don't see the harm in test driving. When I'm very interested in that one perfect '65 baby blue Vette, all the others don't really matter. | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/11/2005 11:48:18 PM | | I went through this a few weeks ago and at the time could not understand, if we hit it off good than why would he want to see other women? I have come to understand that meeting people takes time and if you liked each other go for it, see if it can work and after sometime together you will be able to see if it really works or if the idea of a new and exciting relationship is clouding your views. | |
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Opium
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Joined: 10/1/2005
Msg: 28 | |
| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/12/2005 12:03:37 AM | I think you were too hasty in calling off the 2nd date. Until she becomes your girlfriend, she is free to see other people. And so are you. And she's not gonna become your gf on the 1st date right? C'mon. Try asking her out again. It may be too late though.  | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/12/2005 6:24:53 AM | | I agree with Friendlyfemale37..."if we hit it off good than why would he want to see other women? meeting people takes time and if you liked each other go for it, see if it can work and after sometime together you will be able to see if it really works or if the idea of a new and exciting relationship is clouding your views." It can also depend on where you've taken things with the person. Often people just getting to know each other aren't on the same page and there's nothing wrong with that. If you're not, you just have to decide if he/she is worth it to you to keep seeing each other and see where things go. If you're not willing to do that then maybe you weren't as interested as you thought you were. | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/12/2005 7:41:51 AM | | Give it time to let her get to know you. Spend some time together. Be confident and secure in yourself..... in who you are. If you are like me and date only one person at a time then you have to be prepared to date those who don't or move on and find someone who is like you in their dating style. I wouldn't give up yet... give her the chance to see what a great guy you are. If she chooses you it will be worth your time and effort. | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/14/2005 1:53:29 PM | in years gone by, I use to date many people at one time. I believe as long as there is not sex involved, I'm simply getting to know them until I and "someone" connect and both agree to date exclusively. I don't think you should have called off the second date until you found out more about "who" she is.
Now, since I have less energy and not as much drive, I like to take my time and get to know one person at a time.
Would like to hear from you. | |
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fmac
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Joined: 4/14/2005
Msg: 33 | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/14/2005 5:31:21 PM | | Funny this topic comes up today. I was just talking to a guy i was considering dating about this very thing. There were other reasons that contributed to my decision not to date him, but one of them was his jealousy that i was dating others. I don't sleep with the guys i date, so i don't consider it an issue at all. As some of the other posters have said, this is the "getting to know you" stage, and it's nearly impossible to know which one of your interests is going to be the most compatible with you from a couple of emails or dates. As far as telling all my interests that i'm multi-dating.....i don't unless they ask, and i don't ask them. It's something i assume they're going to do unless they've told me they're not. The only things i dislike are multi IMing on here, and taking calls from interests while on a date. I'm guilty of the IMing because i have so many friends online, and i do business online as well. I try not to do that if i can at all help it. | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/14/2005 5:58:51 PM | According to the book "Stop Getting Dumped"... which is written for women, sorry guys... not putting you out, but I guess it could apply... you should have "A pair and a spare".
Her theory is that by dating three people at a time you can decide which one you like the most, without devoting all of your time into one person, it keeps your heart free.
Now the key here is that you don't have sex with all three... that would make you trashy! heheh
But if you meet a fourth person, you stop seeing the one of the three originals that you really don't have that much in common with and add the new one!
With all that being said... I'm not like some of the pretty ladies on here... I don't have em lined up at my door... so I just enjoy whomever's company is offering at the time! hahah
Stay cool
baylvr  | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/14/2005 7:10:08 PM | | I totally agree with Applebite....the men who are the most persistent, and seem to be the most interested will get the most attention from me, if i'm interested in them too. She's obviously interested in you if she dated you once, and wanted to do it again. If you're interested in her as much as it appears, keep yourself in her immediate thought. | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/14/2005 8:07:24 PM | Thanks for starting this forum.
But it seems there is no right answer. It has to be what's right for you.
I just wish I could look in the crystal ball and decide immediately which choice to make.
If you have two ladies, both interesting but entirely different, who wanted to date you, how do you make the choice?
Do you toss a coin and then tell the other, sorry, your numer didn't come up?
I know fellows are dating and looking at their options too. | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/22/2005 4:35:35 PM | annika
You are correct about spelt, as somewhere in the recess of my mind I recall there is a grain, wheat to be specific, called spelt but on the other hand according to Webster's New World Dctionary of The American Language and in Ezon's defense, either is correct "spelled or spelt" although I personally would only use spelled.
Ah but all this doesn't address Ezon original question does it. | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/22/2005 5:41:37 PM | | Some really great responses. It's like every issue these days, there seems to be a multitude of opinions and ideas. I guess it all comes down to what each of us is comfortable with. I like to K.I.S.S. (keep it simple stupid). While some feel it necessary to meet and date several people at the same time in order to determine who they are best suited to, I like to do it one at a time until at least I know if the person I'm seeing is potentially the one or not. This may take one meeting or several - hopefully several (like in everlasting). It is my preference. The only problem I see with seeing several people at the same time regardless of the level of dating – be it preliminary or slightly advanced – is that it can easily be construed as insincerity if not handled properly and with total honesty. Any other form is just dating gamesmanship or as I like to refer to it ….. G.P.S. (Greener Pastures Syndrome). | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 42 | |
| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/23/2005 12:59:31 AM | What a buzz
Knowing that an attractive woman had opportunities to date others but was dating you as well and wanted to see you again
Great confidence boost
If you were in an exclusive relationship then I could see problems
But you have only just met the woman
If she one had one person interested in her, there is possibly a problem with her
This way you know she must be pretty cool
If you ever get the opportunity to meet her again
Try it
You may you get on well
Then after a time when you are both ready
Ask about being exclusive
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/23/2005 1:15:44 AM | There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeing more than one person at a time as long as there isn't any pre-established comitment and that all parties involved know. Instead of just focusing and putting presure on one person, dating more casually and getting to know the person on a more "friends" basis before getting into an exclusive relationship allows you to 1) get to know more ppl, 2) find out before hand if you would be good in a real relationship, 3) make new friends even if things don't procede further, 4) have a relaxed and fun time without any pressure to make things into something that may not be meant to be.
yup, that seems like good sound logic to me, if you don't agree, that's fine... but think about it and respect those who do. We're not all just sluts/man-whores... we have values and logic behind our actions too.
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/23/2005 1:18:22 AM | | I believe you did the right thing for you as she is doing the right thing for her. Neither one of you have declared exclusive you therefore why should she not see what's out there. It boils down to a personal choice. By the way you probably have a better chance of meeting someone for life to settle down with as she is still high into playing the field. | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/23/2005 2:52:47 AM | I don't think there's anything wrong with dating more than one person at a time but then i guess it depends on the person's idea of what "dating" means.
I think dating means meeting people (be it one person or several) and going out several times to learn more about them.
I find it especially hard to know if someone i've met for the very first time could "be the one" after just one evening together. First of all they are usually on their best behaviour and so you're not always getting to see the real person. Yes you can tell some things from phone calls and emails but spending time together is important to see how they react to everyday life. I chose not to go further than kissing (' ') when dating someone, i let them know that i need to get to know them before going further.
If i go out with someone i've known for awhile as a friend or i know alot about them already from mutal friends, i don't feel that need to "date them" so i have usually gone with the "whatever feels good at the time" attitude.
I think it mostly comes down to a personal decision and what's right for yourself because you're the one who has to live with you're choices! If i am past the dating stage then personally i keep it to one person at a time and i would expect the same! | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/23/2005 3:17:20 AM | | Whoa boy - you had ONE DATE!!!!! One day does not a relationship make. Obviously if you have discussed dating exclusively that is different, but if you are only just meeting and getting to know each other, what gives you the right to expect she see only you? | |
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jimb77
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Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 48 | |
| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/23/2005 6:54:02 AM | Yes, you start calling them by the wrong name.
Wouldn't be for me personally but is it wrong?
Depends to what degree the relationship has evolved to. If you are sexually active with them, yes, I think that's way wrong.
I couldn't do it cause I would simply want to be with the one I had the strongest feelings for. | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/23/2005 12:05:59 PM | Trouble is, I found out she is dating several other guys at the same time. Her reasoning is that she needs to explore a variety of personalities and physical types before arriving at a decision.
She cannot help but get shoved into the "Player" groove as she will look at you from a perspective of COMPARISON in relation to others, which by the very first stroke distances herself from you. She will usually come across as being fake, pretentious, and seeem to have something on her mind you can't make out exactly what it is.
There is a stark difference in Attitude between seeing you and comparing you. Her slight Nuances of haughtiness, condescendence, down-talking with the accompanying "put-down" feeling and the like is usually a good give-away she either has had in the past, or currently still has a few other fish on the Line.
Get rid of her. Even if she decides on you, she'll still be looking at you that way in a Decade from now, and you may even be the bartering Chip of being traded in for another Dude sometime down the Road.
These are Players, no matter how just, innocent and reasonable it all seems.
Once she has gone out with you, and is interested in continueing to see you again, she should not be seeing anyone else in the meantime.
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