| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/23/2005 12:05:59 PM | Trouble is, I found out she is dating several other guys at the same time. Her reasoning is that she needs to explore a variety of personalities and physical types before arriving at a decision.
She cannot help but get shoved into the "Player" groove as she will look at you from a perspective of COMPARISON in relation to others, which by the very first stroke distances herself from you. She will usually come across as being fake, pretentious, and seeem to have something on her mind you can't make out exactly what it is.
There is a stark difference in Attitude between seeing you and comparing you. Her slight Nuances of haughtiness, condescendence, down-talking with the accompanying "put-down" feeling and the like is usually a good give-away she either has had in the past, or currently still has a few other fish on the Line.
Get rid of her. Even if she decides on you, she'll still be looking at you that way in a Decade from now, and you may even be the bartering Chip of being traded in for another Dude sometime down the Road.
These are Players, no matter how just, innocent and reasonable it all seems.
Once she has gone out with you, and is interested in continueing to see you again, she should not be seeing anyone else in the meantime.
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lfmr
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Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 51 | |
| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/23/2005 1:30:37 PM | Hey - you're on 21 women's favourites lists - including mine!
Are you chatting with all those women? What is the difference if you talk to women through this venue and decide who you will meet and who you won't meet - or meeting someone and deciding if you would like to see them again. Process of elimination seems to be the only way to deal with internet dating...
Frankly - I think it would be easier to go stand on a street corner with a sign... | |
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stats
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Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 52 | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/23/2005 1:57:18 PM | | Hmmmmmmmm In my opinion it's no big deal to be "dating" more than one person. I really think that people should be honest with one another so that one person isn't sitting around waiting for the other while they are out one "dates" with others. I think that you may of jumped the gun a little if you liked this girl. I mean until you have really gotten to know one another and know for certain that you want to be exclusive then she had the right. But to each their own. But the most important thing is honesty and atleast she was forth coming about it and didn't try to hide it and play you:) | |
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AI03™
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Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 55 | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/23/2005 10:51:28 PM | I guess if everyrone is upfront about it, it's not so bad.. A guy I dated in the last year didn't contact me for about 5 weeks.. Then, when he did, he told me that he'd been on about 20 other dates, and I was the best one...
I was a bitc# and told him to take a hike.. At least he could have stayed in touch, told me what was going on, something, right>? Or was I being overly sensitive>?
I haven't dated "multiples" since I was in my 20's, and I never felt right about it. That's just me though. | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 11/23/2005 11:06:29 PM | | Until you are exclusive with someone, in other words at the point of intimacy and seeing each other regularly, then nope not a problem at all. I wouldn't dream of passing up an opportunity for a date with a guy I thought was interesting even if two nights before that I went out with a guy I really liked. That's just silly, at the point of dating you are trying to see who is the best fit for you, like looking for a job you would never just go to one interview you'd go to all and then see which you liked best. At least that's how I do it. | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 12/2/2005 4:49:30 AM | I haven't been keeping up with the forums but today i read this one.
Many interesting opinions on here both for dating mulitple people and also against.
I know no one asked my opinion but decided I had to blurt it out.
Even if a person likes the one she / he goes out with for a first date/ encounter/ whatever you wish to call it why should that person stop seeing others until such time as the relationship develops. A lasting relationship does not materialize overnight.
To expect a person to stop seeing someone else while the other makes up his / her mind if they are the right one is assinine. The relationship is something people have to work on to build together its not something one can say ok i'm gonna have a lasting relationship with so and so and stop living because of a dream /wish/hope. If there is anything between two people the presence of another person would only enhance the relationship by pointing out the good qualities in the person whom you wish to persue.
I would hate to think someone would give up the chance to meet a great person in the hopes of someone falling in love with them after a first meeting.
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 12/7/2005 11:57:29 AM |
Dating is like car shopping. I'm going to test out cars I like and eventually stick with the one that I like best or suits me best.
Yeah that will help you get a girl. They are like shopping? You test them?
Test them? A woman is not a car man...
oh well | |
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pip32
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Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 63 | |
| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 12/7/2005 12:20:51 PM | You did the right thing in calling the date of. Personally, I couldn't look myself in the mirror if I played the field like that. Having said that, maybe you have differing ideas to dating than we Brits. I'd like to begin showing a little loyalty & commitment if I thought somebody special enough to date.
It's a fundamental area of compatibility - standards, morals etc. Without wanting to seem judgemental, I think did the right thing in remaining true to yourself & not compromising in accepting the situation as she was offering it to you. | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 12/7/2005 12:31:36 PM | I don't limit myself to one person at a time. If it reaches relationship status, then yeah, I'm done with everything else and give all my romantic attention to that person. But before that point, I'm not going to toss all my eggs in a basket. I have to want them as much as they want me for a relationship to occur. Also, why would I pass up on a great opportunity because I'm hanging out with someone else for the moment. Maybe going out on that other date will help me appreciate the first girl more or make me realize that she isn't for me.
I don't think your method is wrong, I just chose a different method.
I actually did your method recently where I was dating one girl and things were going well. Quite well, but it still wasn't a relationship at that point. I cancelled the date with the other girl I was supposed to see and told her that things were going well and I'd like to see where that lead before I started seeing someone else. And this 2nd girl was awesome, but things were going really well with the first girl. Well, guess what happened. Things with girl #1 didn't pan out. Girl #2 is pissed because I cancelled with her for another girl. And I'm still single.
But that's ok, because i'm currently talking with some pretty cool girls. | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 12/7/2005 12:37:11 PM | Are you kidding??? I've done that a few times and it is fun for a while...
However, there's something about concentrating on dating one person that allows you to understand them better, etc. Plus, it's crazy to juggle your life around while you're dating a few guys. | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 12/7/2005 12:44:59 PM | | She was honest in telling you, and I've had it happen to me in the past. He dates several women at one time, me being one of them. Let's just say it doesn't last long with me. I want a guy who's interested in me enough to spend time with me. I know people are busy, but dating several people at once I just can't do. I may have some nice guy friends, but if I plan on dating one, I would like full attention in return, and I'd let other guys know that right now I'm dating somebody. But also, you both have to decide what you want. If they're not into you enough to see you again and TRY to lean more about you then they don't want a relationship. If you like them, keep them as a friend! | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 12/7/2005 12:51:15 PM | Just so I'm understanding this. You meet a guy or gal, you like them, you talk to them, you go on a date with them. If it goes well, you see them exclusively until you don't see them anymore? Whether it's only for two more dates, 6 more dates, 12 more dates?
Isn't that kind of a relationship? Exclusivity.
What if the person you were "dating" had a really busy schedule for the next couple months, but you really liked them and they could only see you once a week, or maybe twice a week. Would you not see other people to see if something clicks or would you stick to the first person you are dating and waste 2 months on them until you could see them a bit more often to see what they were really like? | |
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| Is there anything wrong with dating several people at the same time?
Posted: 12/7/2005 12:58:56 PM | Dates are dates. I guess I said it wrong.
It depends what the chemistry is like. If you feel that they are worth waiting on do it! If not, then date others while you wait. Just make sure that both sides are aware of it. If you're both fine with it, cool. I personally have to feel comfortable with the person. | |
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