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| Our reasons why we do not post pictures
Posted: 11/13/2005 4:32:30 PM | OK…I think we all agree that photos alone mean nothing…but I see it all as a package deal not just one over the other. We are visual creatures and as humans we can take it too far, however we were made to be visually excited about stuff...and we need to all realize that is NOT a bad thing if taken in context and not to extremes... if we meet someone on the street it's different because they already see our smile or our body language, how we dress etc: things that display something about who we are. Online you really are doing this blindly, so any assistance is welcome and that can include photos. (An no, not ab shots.... that doesn't really help me out at all)
My best friend met and married a guy from Match.com and neither of them posted photos and neither is insecure in any way and both are very good looking people…..so yes it can work either way. The difference is that she lives in a very small town (the reason neither wanted their photos up) and any search at any given time brought up a total of about 150 profiles period….. I live in Phoenix, any search I do brings up about 800-1200 profiles until I narrow it down and even at that, I’m still looking at least 350 profiles that fit the criteria I’m looking for, so it can take up a lot of time to write to every person who has a nice profile including the ones without photos…(which goes against the main reason a lot of us are doing online dating)
I still say that if it’s not a self esteem issue or a personal safety issue, (police officers etc) post a photo or give a very good explanation of why not.
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| Our reasons why we do not post pictures
Posted: 11/13/2005 5:33:51 PM | Chulisssima
Just making a point at the time.
Just to prove that having no Pic,can be better then having a phony one.
When you also think that someone can read your profile,see what your interests are,see what
in a person you are looking for,etc age,height,weight,education,smoker,non-smoker,and
appear to be that person,by a few strokes of a keyboard and send you an E-mail after.
Why you may even spend hours if not weeks thinking you met Mr or Ms perfect.
I have no pic,posted but as far as my profile goes,I am me,and will never be so desperate
to meet someone,that I will not be me.
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| Our reasons why we do not post pictures
Posted: 11/13/2005 5:54:36 PM | Have not got many posts from members without Pictures,perhaps not all want to share there
reasons,and I suppose they have a right not to.
Thanks to all that did | |
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| Our reasons why we do not post pictures
Posted: 11/13/2005 5:56:37 PM | Then there are guys who post pics of their houses....
hmmmm.
what are they saying when they do that?
Inquiring minds want to know !
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| Our reasons why we do not post pictures
Posted: 11/14/2005 5:47:00 AM | I have no major self esteem issues here. I do not post my pics by my own personal choice. I have been told I am beautiful by people who don't have to say so, (mom, family etc.). I do have pics to send should the need to arise, however I am not posting my face on the world wide web. I use to.
A while back, there was someone I use to know, he saw my pic online and he did not have one of himself posted. He emailed me and pretended he was many things he was not. He then made a date with me that I was unable to keep, there were extreme circumstances, therefore I had to cancel.
He then changed on me. Instead of a really interesting nice guy, he became possessive and venomous, it was scaring the hell out of me. He shared details like where I worked and what kind of car I drove. One day, he even mentioned how nice I looked in the dress and heels I wore to work!!!! He told me what route I drove home from my job. His whole persona at this point was really scary.
At this point, the detective work began, I had a friend email him.
He sent her a pic, guess what??
It was someone I absolutely had no interest in ever dating to begin with(it would have been a professional conflict of interest), especially after the whole creepy stalker experience. It scared me, you can't be too careful. I confronted and gave him the list of stalker laws in my state and told him he needed to leave me alone. He did.
I generally will not send my pic out randomly. After an email or two, I may send it out if asked and the man exibits non-stalker like qualities. LOL!
If anyone has a problem with me not posting my pic, they can kiss my a$$.
Read my profile, if you like me, email me, I'll send pics, take it from there.
If not, have a nice life. I still get a decently full inbox without a pic anyhow! | |
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meher
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Joined: 10/1/2005
Msg: 60 | |
| Our reasons why we do not post pictures
Posted: 11/14/2005 9:04:02 AM | | I don't post a picture for any other reason than, if you like what you read, it gives you a chance to "see" who I am. A picture is only a snapshot of the outside beauty, the person inside is who you truly are. I am honest in my profile and it is who I am, if someone chooses not to mail me because of no photo, no loss on my part. I do read and responde to profiles without photos if I like what I read, same holds true for ones with photos. | |
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| Our reasons why we do not post pictures
Posted: 11/14/2005 9:56:42 AM | You are truly a humorous Guy. Very imaginative
I like your post. I was in the USN as a cryptologist. The rest of the fleet
called us "Spooks". It wasn't nearly as exciting as that litttle scenio you painted for all to read. I would have felt like James or(Jane) Bond if it were.....Amongst ourselves we used to say "I'd tell you what I know but then I'd have to k*&l you." Really it was dull work. Private investigation in all it's various specialties is much much interesting.
So Why don't I post a picture.......I don't have access to digital camera or whatever else you
need to post one.
Besides I was very descriptive in my profile. When someone reads an interesting article or a book, is it necessary to know what the author looks like??? If I start communicating back and forth with someone...eventually they will see what I look like and smile. | |
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| Our reasons why we do not post pictures
Posted: 11/14/2005 10:09:51 AM | Hi,
My post was in reference to the one that said that the reason they don't post is becuase
they work for the gov in a secret government position and only interact with beautiful Russian spys and ninja girls....I can't see your post anymore...but that is what I was responding to....Yes and I know from hearing more than a few times...that men are visual........so please use ya imagination and visualize........after the holidays.......when I've have a few months a being at Curves and 24hour fitness(as was my routine) I may break down and post.
However, I few people made an interesting observation, The Ted Bundies of the world sometimes like to post...I have a child to think about. Also I'm "Paying my dues" so to speak in the PI world.......It's called getting"burned" if you're ability to remain low key is blown.
I may post or may not..........if we chat on a friendly level, with no mean sarcastic hidden agenda underneath.......... eventually we will meet.....and not until then 
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| Our reasons why we do not post pictures
Posted: 11/14/2005 5:46:27 PM | | Ok so I was brave and decided to put up my pic ...lol...just to make a few people happy. Now if I keep it up there, thats another thing. | |
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| Our reasons why we do not post pictures
Posted: 11/14/2005 7:33:03 PM | | single dad in florida .....i hear ya been there myself..... ex husband put me through alot and he did the same cheated on me and then left me with 4 kids under 9 years old.....but yes.... it does put your self esteem down and you feel unwanted like nobody will ever like you again or they will judge you by your pic but...i am honest and forward and I don't judge people so thats why i have my pic on Plenty of fish and i have .....and will do it again while chatting to someone on the instant messenger ....just one right click to block them after a rude comment on my pic.....some people think they can get somewhere being rude in life .....well i have yet to see someone to have lots of friends being rude to other people | |
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| Our reasons why we do not post pictures
Posted: 11/14/2005 9:18:49 PM | I tried another dating service and i didn't post a pic there on purpose because i didn't want guys to respond to me based on my looks. I want to make it clear i'm not a 10 and i don't look like a model, but i've been called a 9 and i have a slenderish hourglass figure and ong brown hair. I'm very uncomfortable just having written that!... creeped even.... i'm uncomfortable simply saying the truth because of the content of what i am saying.... and also of saying i'm a 9 because if anyone sees me and to them i'm an 8 or a 7 or whatever i'll feel badly and feel like i made a false claim, even though others would look and might think i'm a 10. In real life i don't have difficulty having guys interested in me. What I have trouble with is finding the "one." My girlfriends have said things like, "guys are always throwing themselves at you" and "so have you gotten a proposal yet this week?" I don't think i'm all that hot... I've got small squinty eyes and a big round nose and my hair is dry and raggedy.... but i do get a lot of guys interested in me for my looks but not very interested in ME and trust me, that's just as bad as someone overlooking the beautiful you inside because they can't see past the overweight or plain you. Sometimes getting attention for your looks can be downright annoying and then there is the occassional scary stalking. Sometimes too, a guy i like and want to know won't TRY or accept my overtures because they are convinced i'm out of their league... that happened to me this summer. :( And what i'm looking for is (don't laugh) true love, which is more about what's on the inside. So when i didn't post my pic at the other site, i didn't mind it at all. It was more in keeping with what was important to me. I still got more than enough responses (if it's true what they say that you get 10X more responses with a photo, i shudder thinking of it!), and i felt more secure when i finally did let some guys meet me, because then i knew they were looking further than skin deep and bed sheets which is not a bad screening technique. More often than not i didn't know what they looked like either until i met them, and it didn't bother me. I know when you really love someone they could be downright ugly and you'd think them handsome! By the way, the guys i met who hadn't posted photos either were of all types, so you can't convince me that people typically don't post photos because they are ugly or overweight... it just isn't true.... some are, some aren't... it's just people!
Yes, we do pick up some clues from looks that have nothing to do with handsome and that can be helpful in seeing if you are compatable.... for instance you might get an idea as to how conservative a person is, or modern, or if they take care of their body they might take charge of other aspects of their life as well.... or not..... you can't tell for certain without hearing their story, because there are always exceptions. To me it's not so much the body... it's what they DO with the body and clothes that tells me a bit about who they are and what they find important. I don't care what they start with, i care about their attitudes and focus, and sometimes you can see that a bit in how the person presents themselves.
I haven't posted a photo at this website yet (it's difficult for me to get one taken and post it for a variety of small technical reasons), but i decided to give it a try this time and see how it is different from not posting photos. I don't know if i will like the experience or not, i just thought i'd try it. Now after writing this, though, if i post a photo i'll feel under scrutiny!
Thank you, I found what everyone wrote in this thread interesting, and thought you might want to hear someone who had a different reason. | |
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| Our reasons why we do not post pictures
Posted: 11/15/2005 6:16:50 AM | | i have my pic posted on this site,and have never had a problem with any of the members whatsoever.i understand the reasons people refuse to add their photo,but i feel you have to include one,just so they can see what you look like.i feel you had better tread lightly if you are going to use the internet,as it is a powerful tool with which you can be hurt by.if you start being abused over the internet,you should not in any circumstances use chat sites,as they can become abuseful for a sensitive mind.try chat sites which mainly centre around interests that you can share,anyhow stick with this site so far i have found it really pleasant and nice.other sites i have visited are full of cheap and abusive,blows to the ego.anyhow if you feel happier chatting without your pic,that sounds good,but if you want to think about dating at a later stage you would have to send a pic,so the person can take or leave you as you are,stands to reason,then you know they accept you at face value,at least.but your profile will be most important,stating interests,humour,culture,whether or not you like animals and so on.more interesting to know if you like chinese food,fish and chips,cooking at home,or take away.whether you consider yourself a loner lovind solitude mainly or extrovert or somewhere in between.grow on,forget abuse,only search people who will like you for who you are,delete any offenders off your slate,start clean fresh,and find who you are searching for no matter the appearance. | |
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| Our reasons why we do not post pictures
Posted: 11/15/2005 12:28:39 PM | | florida dad, lets see your pic why are you hiding it from all of us you talk about poeople not getting any responses with out pics well where is yours this thread is kinda of dumb since you dont have one | |
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kce33
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Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 70 | |
| Our reasons why we do not post pictures
Posted: 11/15/2005 1:52:35 PM | well. i don't have a pic up because i'm not looking for sex or dates... i'm just looking for some online friends to talk and chat with while i'm on line and you don't need a face to talk to...
to me its just like talking on the phone everyday, you don't know what the person looks like that calls you unless its a friend....
kce
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| Our reasons why we do not post pictures
Posted: 11/15/2005 3:36:58 PM | i'm glad this thread was here 
I still don't think a pic from a car magazine is going to inspire me to reply tho even if the email I am sent is full of flattery.
Someone said earlier about self confidence/esteem being the numero uno quality they look for - I guess it is for me too.
A showroom fantasy car is not what I am looking for... I wish those who choose not to post a pic of themselves well in thier search tho. | |
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| Our reasons why we do not post pictures
Posted: 11/15/2005 4:48:23 PM | AZ
If my thread is dumb,yours is dumber,sounds like a move title LOL
You are a very funny women
And Since I know you like to be called baby 20 times within 5 minutes here goes.
BABY,BABY,BABY,BABY,BABY,BABY,BABY,BABY,BABY,BABY (10)
BABY,BABY,BABY,BABY,BABY,BABY,BABY,BABY,BABY,BABY (10)
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| Our reasons why we do not post pictures
Posted: 11/15/2005 5:14:08 PM | | omg, I truly hope this is your sick sense of humour. If it's for real, I know a place where your could meet lots of chick in your 'scene" lol | |
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Tinkle
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Joined: 11/2/2005
Msg: 75 | |
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