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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 12/30/2004 10:00:22 PM | Yeah, and they ONLY cuddle when THEY want to.. and are NOT shy about saying that they are DONE...
Plus too small...
~~Dragon Rider~~
I know it is here somewhere...
Happy New Year | |
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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 12/30/2004 10:02:14 PM | Unfortunately, my cat is codependent...he always wants attention.....when I am busy doing art at the drafting table, he reaches up and kneads my ass......now why can't that be a man????  | |
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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 12/30/2004 10:03:19 PM | Might could be... would I have to wrestle the cat?
~~Dragon Rider~~
I know it is here somewhere...
Happy New Year | |
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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 12/30/2004 10:03:43 PM | | Just a wee li'l word....WHY DO I HAVE TO REPEAT MYSELF? IT'S ALL ABOUT FRIENDS AND FUN AND ALL THE REST JUST COMES NATURALLY! Sincerely, I've been on this site for a bit now and have met a few really good friends and ...alas evolution has taken place! Hallelujah! But now I've become addicted to making new friends on this blasted site. Gotta seek a date chat sites anonymous. | |
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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 12/30/2004 10:48:39 PM | Have no issues with that at all... I LIKE cats...
~~Dragon Rider~~
I know it is here somewhere...
Happy New Year | |
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mkay70
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Joined: 12/28/2004
Msg: 58 | |
| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 12/31/2004 7:26:53 AM | | I think we all get a little wiser the older we get. I am 34 and also been in my share of relationships, I too have now become very selective and can pick out the bad ones within 20 minutes of talking to them. I believe being a little gaurded is a smart idea. In most cases you "intuition" will be correct, just be careful not to let being "gaurded" cause you to miss something good! Have fun with dating, it's not a commitment!! | |
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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 12/31/2004 11:53:26 AM | Mkay
Not too sure about the wiser bit... but I do try to be a bit smarter (not the same thing at all).
These days if you aren't being guarded, someone is bound to take advantage of you... and badly...
Welcome to the forums Dear lady... come and get to know us... Maybe one of us will catch your eye... 
~~Dragon Rider~~
I know it is here somewhere...
Happy New Year | |
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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 12/31/2004 1:24:02 PM | ya... i think the older you get, the wiser you are about the possiblity of getting your heart kicked around. i know for me... i put up with virtually nothing now as compared to my younger years. i won't date a man that has drinking issues or does drugs, any form of drugs. i won't date a man that's not willing to bring anything to the table. i'm a very independant, sucessful woman and i have way too much to offer a man and i'm way past letting a man take advantage of me... i'd just rather date my equal and keep things on equal grounds in every aspect. i'm not materialistic so i don't need a man to financially support me, i'd much rather have a man that was happy with his blue collar job and loved comin' home to a nice home cooked meal. but was also willing to cook for me too ;) i'm also happy being single... i think i'm happier when i'm alone because i don't have to deal with the drama that a relationship brings.
i've chosen not to have a relationship at this point in my life because i felt i needed to do some serious soul searching after the last few guys i chose to date on an exclusive basis. if i meet the man of my dreams some day, great... maybe i'll end up with a nice life partner. if i don't, i know now that i will still be happy because i happen to enjoy my own company ;) another problem in the dating scene that i have is that most men in my dating range want children... well, i've had my son and wouldn't dare try that again, so i'm not as nice a prize to most men. i'd prefer a man that has already had children and doesn't need me to fulfill that for him.
so... call it picky... call it getting wiser as you get older... call it whatever you like... but in the end you should always do what makes YOU happy. ;) | |
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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 1/2/2005 3:26:53 PM | Wow folks... I must say I din't expect this kind of response. I do however appreciate it a great deal.
Thans y'all. | |
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lml4s
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Joined: 12/31/2004
Msg: 62 | |
| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 1/3/2005 7:40:02 AM | | It all matches the human life cycle. First you get horny so you want sex so you find someone and get married. You have kids. So far, so good. Then you change with time, which is also natural to do. Now the fun part starts. Your own or your partner's, or both, models for marriage don't square with reality. All your childhood seeds sprout in adulthood giving you a nice crop of conflicts and issues. The gap between real and ideal widens. You blame each other, or turn to some surrogate entanglement like booze and drugs. You commit acts that have destructive results. Now you have irreconcileable difference and divorce is an escape hatch. You grab the ejector handle and pull. Boom goes the canopy and you float gently to earth or land tangled in a tree. Now you're middle aged, divorced, and all you have to go by are romantic notions left over from adoslecence. Still smarting from when the walls of your home life collapsed to crush your ego, you wander out blinking into the daylight, and find only other survivors of similarly borken homes. Here we all are where the grass is greener, munch away. This period lasts until the ego is resurrected. People who greatly fear aging alone, or who need immediate validation of their theory that there is nothing wrong with them, will tend to launch into the next realtionship that lets them feel good about themselves again. Others find comfort in the company misery loves, sharing their cynical critique of the faults of the opposite sex with one another in a sort of angry mad tea party, half fancy and half seething rage. If you remain single long enough you pass through these dangerous waters and wash upm on a sunny beach where people are just glad to be alive and have somneone to love, even someone like you, and you find that they thing you like about them is they can accept you and love you. Some people never learn from their mistakes and so they need to find a new mate who will allow them to believe they never made any. Others learn from their mistakes and go on to make new ones. one day you look back and see how many smiles you brought to others, and how many tears you caused, and that pretty much was your life, and somehow it ends up being who you are. | |
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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 5/6/2005 8:16:23 AM | | As I get older I'm definately getting more selective, for if I should choose a life partner again, that person is the one I will be growing old with. I think we all get selective as we get older because we know more what we want, and we recognize the mistakes we made. Afraid of getting hurt? YES, most definately. When your heart gets broken time and time again, it weakens your soul. | |
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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 5/6/2005 8:32:56 AM | Well, now that I'm 35...I do look at women I talk to in more depth. I no longer go in with the mentality of just trying for a sexual relationship. I attack it as a friendship first to find out what their goals are and if they are ambitious. I guess the older we are the less we try to increase the numbers in our black book and we just try to find someone that we relate to on more basis than one.
Not sure if this makes any sense but its only one person's opinion....MINE! | |
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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 5/6/2005 8:37:13 AM | Great approach Seekin I think it is ok to be selective, picky, or whatever you want to call it these days. Why waste the time on someone that is going to be a fly by night relationship? I suppose it is all in what a person is looking for. Keep being selective!! | |
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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 5/6/2005 3:16:42 PM | Well...I was single for the last seven years based mostly on the principal of "not settling" for less than what I wanted in a life partner...Thing is...I WAS ALONE FOR SEVEN...COUNT EM....SEVEN YEARS!!!!!!!
I realized something very important when I came on this site and started dating again...That NOT everyone I meet or go out with or even have a relationship with has to be THE ONE!!!
While I've cleaned up a lot of my own baggage through the years through realtionships and life experiences and have learned a lot about what I want, it's really not necessary for me to be without sex or companionship or even intimacy just because I am not in a primary relationship...
Also, if the reason that I'm avoiding relationships is because of fear of being hurt...well, i may as well just end it all now...To live is to hurt, even if you lock yourself in the house and rarely speak to anyone...I know, I TRIED!!!
We all have lessons to learn, hopefully right up until the day that we die and sometimes those less-than-ideal partners are sent to us for us to learn those lessons...
Anyways...The point is that if you stop growing, you die...so I for one am more than willing to continue in Life's classroom...even if it earns me a few bruises...Dee | |
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argy42
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Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 70 | |
| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 12/3/2005 10:18:29 AM | same here, whatever i learnt in the past seems to desert me when i need to remember it, i think i get more daft every year, i think its something to do with not wanting to turn into a boring fart, thats my take on it anyway, well they say men never grow up anyway. | |
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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 12/3/2005 1:20:14 PM | I'm far more selective than I used to be. Down right picky actually.
I think it goes along with what you said Timmy, the more you get to know about yourself the more you know what will work for you. By now, we've figured out a lot of what doesn't work for us.
Ending a relationship is incredibly painful. So I am cautious because that's not really something I want to do again. Yes, it might happen regardless. But by being selective I can reduce the chances. | |
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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 12/3/2005 3:13:48 PM | Yeah, definitely.
So picky in fact that I may have missed a chance here or there. But wounds from an affair and divorce run deep, and personally, I will never look at relationships the same way. I guess you decide what you're willing to live with, and what you won't. | |
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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 12/3/2005 3:25:37 PM | | I'm only grateful that as my interests refine I find those who have the same and have pared those away as did I. I never had red flags or yellow or checkered for that matter. I strive to date only adults. I'm not more selective but it is getting harder to find friends whose interests have developed in the same directions as mine. I'm attracted to the individual and her positions, levels of understandings and paths to. Meaningful as a descriptive term will only serve to distract you. Where is the rush. There are quite a number of threads that would posit the premise that it is possible for another to "make you whole" "complete you" "round you out" and the like. That has to be tormenting. How could that possibly exist? What does it say of the character of the person who would announce such a thing.? Selective indeed. | |
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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 12/3/2005 10:41:22 PM | | I find myself being more selective. I also tend to see the red flags that I would miss or forgive when I was younger. Experience is a good teacher ! I don't see it as being more gun shy, I see it as being more careful about who you let into your life. I tend to look at the long term after a few dates, rather than ignore it all together. Like I used to, thinking "it'll all work out" Just my .02 | |
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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 12/4/2005 12:40:48 AM | I agree with voodoolily, that we change all the time.. Plus, as we get older we aren't as "impulsive" as we were when we were younger. It definately looks like we're more "picky", but I think maybe just smarter~~ | |
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