| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 12/4/2005 9:58:12 AM | | Both I have noticed the same thing but I find that if my felling get hurt I get over it much quicker now and it dosn't bother me as much. | |
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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 12/4/2005 10:56:15 AM | | I am much more selective now, and not as trusting as I used to be. I only believe half of what I'm told by someone until I've gotten to know them better. | |
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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 12/4/2005 11:59:24 AM | | I don't know if I would call it being picky or more selective and trying to prioritize what is important to me. To keep a relationship alive, we would need to share the same interests from music to travel. | |
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| Question for the over 30 crowd.
Posted: 12/5/2005 12:08:50 PM | | Speaking as an over 30 geezer, older singles seem to go one of two ways: more desperate or more solitary. I work with someone who's idea of dating was to ask out EVERY woman he met that was in his age range. He asked EVERY girlfriend to marry him. He's happily married now...to the one that said YES. On the otherhand, I think I asked one woman out...this year. She said no. Am I jealous of him? No. | |
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| Are you more selective or am I being to protective of my own feelings?
Posted: 12/5/2005 12:49:41 PM | re: Are you more selective ...
I have learned that if I cross someone off too quickly...
A person can be wrong in the assumption they have made.
However, I do have some requirements as I have aged.
So, I can understand what your getting at, but I know I have been wrong before by not giving it a little more time.
An example...Someone that looked mean tried showing me he wasn't so I gave it more time.
Then I did a little test thing to see his reaction. Wow. Did the ugly rude guy ever come out quick. Instead of saying you know that really bothers me...yada yada...he blew up!
If you can't work it out from the beginning that might be the best way to judge rather than just running away so fast.
I can't deal with a bad temper so I knew he wasn't for me.
So....Aging has made me more use more caution. It's called been there done that and I don't want to do it again.
However, we all have those days that we do or say something wrong so use your own judgement.
Just my 3 cents worth...J | |
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| Are you more selective or am I being to protective of my own feelings?
Posted: 12/5/2005 1:12:20 PM | "Speaking as an over 30 geezer, older singles seem to go one of two ways: more desperate or more solitary":
I personally disagree strongly with this statement
I am neither..just more selective
Yes I have been hurt, but I am not afraid to feel again
What I am afraid of is the over thirty men that I've encountered that want to play games...
I love these forums because I have learned many things...mainly that women and men basically want the same things- we just have different methods of achievment
Back to what I was saying..The caliber of men that I have dated are not serious about a relationship...they have come in with guns blazing, only to cool off with no explanation as to what happened.
I am a selective person by nature so I don't put myself in positions like that very often to begin with. Throw into the mix being dumped like so much trash without any sort of explanation and you get someone who is highly selective... However I would not consider myself desperate or solitary..I still have hope and I am still very open to the possibility of finding a partner..no hurry though
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| Are you more selective or am I being to protective of my own feelings?
Posted: 12/5/2005 1:32:56 PM | | Scarlett, maybe I used the wrong word or you misunderstood my use of "solitary". I didn't mean you PREFERRED to be alone. I know I don't! It's like I'm able to function alone. I know a lot of people who can't stand to be alone. You go from one bad relationship to the next just to avoid being alone. With me...I'd rather be alone than with Miss Wrong. How many of your friends complain BITTERLY about their boyfriend or girlfriend that they don't have kids with? So why do they stay? | |
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| Are you more selective or am I being to protective of my own feelings?
Posted: 12/5/2005 1:41:06 PM | They stay because they have made a vow, children or not
I too would rather be alone than with the wrong person, but I don't consider myself solitary..
It's not a negative word, but it conjures up images of preference to being alone
Many people wish that actually..easier perhaps?
Anyway the semantics of a word was not my intention...
what I meant was I have faith, I have hope aand I am out there to an extent
I have no wish to be alone the rest of my life but I prefer to call what I seek
A selective process.... | |
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| Are you more selective or am I being to protective of my own feelings?
Posted: 12/5/2005 5:08:53 PM | I think it's like the rest of life~~Finding that "balance" without being extreme... I'll admit, the trust issue is a big thing, even though it never was when I was married ((except when it came to money))----It's hard to be married a long time, and then start dating again and try to put your trust in someone you "don't know".... That doesn't even make sense, does it>?
I'm just a lot more cautious than I used to be....  | |
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| Are you more selective or am I being to protective of my own feelings?
Posted: 12/6/2005 3:01:52 AM | | Im right with ya,,,Slim. Im also way more selective and protective of my feelings the older i get. Not to say that i would never throw caution to the wind, but i do now go into things much more carefully. I know exactly what i want and dont want and what i will and will not put up with. Some things i can and would compromise on but if something truely bothers me and my gut says to 'get the hell outta dodge',,then i am gone. | |
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