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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 11/19/2005 1:49:52 PM | Don't let it bother you too much, you'll lose your head. many people are like this it's not just you it's not just them or andthing above and beyond that. some people don't care and they don't really have too. but for the meanwhile it's just a search to find that someone who just makes everything that much better.
for everytime you get thrown in the dark there's always a light on the otherside. try looking at the postive issues, as he or she wasn't the one for me oh well there's someone out there better for me, or you were too good for them.
as for me my passion right now is the gym. It gives me hassles it stresses me out and all at the same time it gives me everything I want. I beat it up it beats me up and we just keep coming back for more. there are other things to derive your passion into.
perhaps sometime it takes some patience not to give in to someone and figure them out before you get drawn out into a **** buddy or just another random person in their time frame. in more ways then one if you're not giving it up and they look for someone else well then you have one less problem and one less emotional consideration to think of. and if you find one that sticks it out then theres a clue to you.
thanks for listening to my random garbel as I know I jump from one thing to another and then back to the other quite a bit but it's the thought process of how things work sometimes. | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 11/19/2005 1:57:20 PM | Bitter bitter bitter men. Come on. Child support is not for just clothes for the children, shoes and food. It also is used to keep them warm, to have lights on where they are, to put the gas in the vehicle which drives them to hockey practice or school or whatever, the school trips etc etc etc....
oh my... I am a single dad of four and I see $92.78 a week, I spend my children's support on a lap dance and a good bottle of rum. Go ahead, hate me. It's the time of equality. We are not bitter. | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 11/19/2005 1:57:38 PM | Let's say you had some idea of what you wanted for a relationship. Then you met a woman and hit it off at first. You got along well enough to go further, and even fell in love. That led to living together, married or not. Now you have the relationship, only it's not the one you thought it would be like, and it sure as hell isn't the one she wanted, either. So you set about trying to make it fit, usually by getting the other person to change. That doesn't work. Nothing works, so you break up. Now you are hurt and lonely, but nobody wants you when you're hurt and lonely, so you stay single for a time. Then after a while you forget how disillusioned and miserable you were last time, and you sprout a new version of your ideal relationship.
But as you date you recognize hers is different and waiting to begin the conflict all over again. You get just close enough to enjoy her company, and that intimacy triggers the onset of the ideals that doomed your past relationship. You bail and run.
So you finally meet someone who has no expectations, and that gives you room to be close and fall in love. Unfortunately they weren't looking for a relationship, and you lose them to the river of time. At some point you take up horse shoes, let your ear hair grow, and resign yourself to occasional moments of happiness in an otherwise solitary existence. | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 11/19/2005 2:24:33 PM | ^^ Lol.. I think that double standard coupled with your previous stupidity nulls and voids all your previous statements into oblivion! muahahaha
And no, if I have casual sex, it'd be with a guy who's damn good in bed.. I don't have sex with a guy for his mind.
Off topic:
So you finally meet someone who has no expectations, and that gives you room to be close and fall in love. Unfortunately they weren't looking for a relationship, and you lose them to the river of time. At some point you take up horse shoes, let your ear hair grow, and resign yourself to occasional moments of happiness in an otherwise solitary existence.
I love your writing style.. you would make an awesome writer.
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 11/19/2005 2:35:32 PM | so if a man's salary goes up, he should not be obligated to raise the standard of living of his children as well????? come on!!! he should want to, with the courts telling him to!!
my incentive to get married certainly wasn't to have kids and hook him into child support. it was commitment we made to each other. and if he had wanted a prenup, i wouldn't have had a problem wtih it whatsoever.
I wasn't whining about men who don't want to commit...hell...i've been involved with a few who wanted just that and I did not. | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 11/19/2005 2:36:39 PM | so if a man's salary goes up, he should not be obligated to raise the standard of living of his children as well????? come on!!! he should want to, without the courts telling him to!!
my incentive to get married certainly wasn't to have kids and hook him into child support. it was a commitment we made to each other. and if he had wanted a prenup, i wouldn't have had a problem wtih it whatsoever.
I wasn't whining about men who don't want to commit...hell...i've been involved with a few who wanted just that and I did not. | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 11/19/2005 2:44:26 PM | hey there well my dear im sorry to burst your bubble but not everyones like that i myself have been looking for someone to commit to but the women round here dont want that they are looking for long term but arent ready yet so go figure  | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 11/19/2005 5:16:27 PM | This is why men arent getting married anymore
this is why the average age for marrage among men rose from 25 to 28 this year.
Men are TIRED of all these laws that benefit women just because they have a vagina. They are getting smarter and thinking less and less with the little head.
A shame isnt it ladies, the thing you've been asking for for the longest time is your eventual undoing.
Quite frankly, there is NOTHING in it for a guy to get married to a broad. Anything you can get in marrage, you can also get in a simple girlfriend situation.. hell they dont even have to LIVE with you for gods sake.
Someone said this is the age of equality? FINE lets make it the age of equality. STRIKE ALL LAWS INVOLVING WOMENS BENEFITS AFTER DIVORCE. you get devorced? you get NOTHING!
You cheat on your man? YOU;re responsible and YOU PAY COURT COSTS! you pop out a kid... refuse to have an abortion/put it up for adoption... even after the guy begged and pleaded with you not to? YOU PAY HIS CHILD SUPPORT, NOT MEN.
oh.. dont like that? well we dont like DOING IT! and go ahead... call me bitter and jaded and whatever else you can throw at me.. it doesnt bother me one bit. women are.. for the most part.. GOLDDIGGERS wanting to take every cent from the guy that they can before moving on to the next sap.
ya know what.. i DEFY you to give me 1 O_N_E one benefit to getting married that men cannot do without getting married.
YOU CANT! | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 11/19/2005 5:20:44 PM | To OP. Bitter? Nope it's been 10 years since my amicable divorce.
Child support? I don't disagree with you. And I stated so. One woman I know has joint custody, makes 60k and still takes home less than 350 per week. It's totally unfair. Her ex doesn't work at all and collects 1220 per month from her hard work. She's WAY behind in her payments, and I don't blame her a bit. Sorry. I would disagree with you about having her "shot."
Did I misunderstand? What is a long-term committed relationship without marriage? What's the difference?
As for me, I cook, I clean, I work, I spend my money, I compromise when I want to, and don't if I don't want to. I spend exactly the amount of time I want to with whichever woman I want to, and I have all the freedom and friends I want, and none that I don't want. Birth control and abortion has been a wonderful tool to free men as well as women from responsibilities-- and women make their own money so I don't have to share mine unless I want to. I suffer from my own mistakes and not from someone else's, and I prosper from my own labors. I go where I want, stay as long as I want, and leave when I want. This is the essence of independence.
People who need inter-dependence usually have issues-- Debt, bad credit, dependent personalities, social climbers, etc. We already went over this didn't we?
Why would it make you angry that millions of men can get along perfectly fine without a full time relationship? | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 11/19/2005 6:36:08 PM | Marriage _is_ just an anachronism from the time when most wealth took the form of land. Most people couldn't make their own wealth by working, they just inherited wealth in the form of land. So marriage existed as way of sharing wealth among families and ensuring children.
If you think about it, not much has changed. After all, what is marriage other than a legal contract regarding the sharing of wealth and childraising responsibilities between two people? All the laws concerning marriage relate to property and children. | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 11/19/2005 11:58:42 PM | | what we feel when we think people are playin games may not always be the way it is. allot of people have been hurt in the past in a real big way . so they will only let someone in the door so far. they have a fear of being hurt again and they create a wall that is almost imposible to break. so as this happens there partner feels like it is a one way street and then begins to walk and experiment with others. they dont give it time to grow . they want it all to happen so fast but in reality it really takes years to get to know someone , not just one or two weeks | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 11/20/2005 3:23:35 AM | | I think it's evolution. Divorce laws and other forms of female behavior have caused and are still causing men to evolve out of long term relationships. You want us to evolve the other way, explore the behavior of a culture or time-span in our culture with a low divorce rate and do what they do or did. | |
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| Hang in there, they aren't all like that....
Posted: 11/20/2005 4:49:21 AM | | I agree with you 100% my husband died almost 10 yrs ago and I have had 1 serious relationship since that lasted 3 yrs we was going to get married but he cheated and Married her instead so who wants to be hurt again. | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 11/20/2005 4:49:40 AM | Someone said this is the age of equality? FINE lets make it the age of equality. STRIKE ALL LAWS INVOLVING WOMENS BENEFITS AFTER DIVORCE. you get devorced? you get NOTHING!
You cheat on your man? YOU;re responsible and YOU PAY COURT COSTS! you pop out a kid... refuse to have an abortion/put it up for adoption... even after the guy begged and pleaded with you not to? YOU PAY HIS CHILD SUPPORT, NOT MEN.
So here's what I learned about you from your post:
- Every time YOU knock up a girl you want her to get an abortion. I guess you want her to pay for the abortion too, even though YOU"RE the one who wants it?
- Women should go back to before the women's rights movement. Hmm, maybe we should do that for blacks as well. Screw affirmative action, because it doesn't benefit YOU.
- Maybe you shouldn't be f*cking a girl if you're not ready to have a kid with her.
- Women only divorce men because they cheat? No, maybe YOU did something wrong.
- And for god sakes, you shouldn't marry a girl if you're not willing to stick it through and pay for the kids you have with her. YOU helped create them, YOU help pay.
SIMPLE AS THAT. I can't think of many girls who would want to be with you anyway, so perhaps this is how you've rationalized your situation to yourself.
And perhaps while guys can get what they want out of screwing a girl night after night in a casual relationship, girls need more security. If you knock up the girl and you're not married, it's perfectly easy for you to disappear. And sorry, YOU are NOT worth that, or even close to it.
At least when WhatDoYOUThink discussed the topic, he made valid points. Your diatribe is ridiculous. | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 11/20/2005 5:35:03 AM | I'm not looking for a f**k buddy. I am looking to settle down. The problem is, women have been treated like sh** by single blokes, now most single blokes are labelled.........even the genuine ones so either way we lose.
So can someone explain to me how we are supposed to prove ourselves worthy if we don't even get that chance any more? | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 11/20/2005 6:00:16 AM | Hi I do agree 100% what you say.I have the same experience.No mater if you go on paid site or free one.
Whe can I meet normal person???I only go to work and back home...by car.Maybe if I go by subway or bus?
Hard to meet people these days...that why I stay alone for 3 years now..and I personaly believe for the rest of my life...I`m 55 y old widow..That make it hard,I do not need anyone to take advantage of me..also I do not anyone bank account..still can`t figure out where all these wonderfull man are hiding???   | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 11/20/2005 6:04:03 AM | My observation is a lot of people do not seem to know how to have one. Forget about marriage - take that out of the picture. People do not seem to know how to treat other people nicely. I have been married twice and not because I did not want to be married anymore. I had to get out of one because of emotional abuse, the second I caught him cheating.
Now that I am dating again I am shocked at the people (not just guys) who have no clue on how to have a relationship.
So far they show up late for dates, call me last minute to go out - I have kids - hello - I need a sitter. Just call to say hi - no time to talk. It also seems like they woo you until they get sex down the line and then it's like - Ok I do not need to make an effort anymore.
Plus I am excluding the freaks who have no money, never been married, no kids at 45 and up. | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 11/20/2005 6:06:20 AM | Good luck on the system..met someone last night for coffee...nice person..maybe..need roof over His head...should I try to meet more???
With my luck I just attract them...how should I sell myself without attracting wrong people.?????? | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 11/20/2005 7:28:38 AM | I am in the same situation... I know how you feel... tell me, why when we women, put our heart on our sleeves are men only thinking about their hard on in their pants?? I don't know?
I think it's because its too attainable anymore, our society has become one in which men can get so much & in so many places, why bother to live enjoying just one... I am a chocoholic, if you give me a box of chocolates- but there is my favorite kinda chocolate sitting in the middle... rule is: I am only allowed to have 1 piece... OR I can have all of them... which do I do??? Crazy way of putting it... but hey... I think it's true...
Women are beautiful creatures and men just can't seem to fall in love with one and want that one... in the 1800's married men were allowed Courtesan's to have sex with outside of marriage, completely acceptable... if those men lived in this era, which they do... lol well... why would they even bother getting married?? they can have it all now. So....
men are enjoying all the chocolates and we have allowed it to happen. The minority, are women who are not out there flaunting their shit on the internet pics, dancing with next to nothing on at the bars, partying it up, etc... yes WE are the minority... and that doesn't mean that we don't have it to flaunt, or enjoy a good time... we have confidence & respect ourselves and want a good man who will respect us too... and you know what??? He will come along and he will be sooo much worth the wait? I am tired of the pain of waiting for him and dealing with all the chocolate tasters... the man that reaches in there and grabs the one in the middle is the one for me! ;) | |
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