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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 11/30/2005 10:03:52 AM | sorry i'm not a man but i thought i would give you some advice
1 maybe the guys you are seeing or at different points in there life...maybe you want commitment they want to play the field
2 maybe just no click there
3 maybe there unstable and they see you are stable..... trust me you don't need to look after your man
4 maybe no physical atttraction your just there for them to " drop a load and run "
5 from now on play " hard to get girl " not so easy going and then if there interested in you they will stay around .......if there not interested in you they will run
easy going ppl like myself go through this and its sad to say but you have to become a b....and then they will say " ok i'm not getting what i thought i was here " and hmm stay around ? or leave ?....good luck he will come along ...my did and we are happy and believe it or not we met off of POF...lol | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 12/4/2005 3:55:04 PM | I want a relationship. I'm just picky. Not looking for a **** buddy. Just someone blazingly intelligent and reasonably healthy with no kids yet. If that's too much to ask... well, I'll keep asking anyways.
Most of the guys who want that find it when they're younger and get hitched. Me, I've been traveling a bit and was shy when I was younger.
There are some psycho girls. There are probably at least as many psycho guys. And it's hard tying yourself to someone. You can't travel and not travel. You can't have kids and not have kids. You can't live simply and be career oriented. There are more qualifiers for a serious relationship. And of course, some guys just want to play the field. I don't count myself on that list. | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 12/11/2005 3:58:06 PM | What do you think: You are cute, too bad you are not the faithful type.
I love myself, 1st and foremost and do not expect my men to be perfect.
I forgave "my first" for being unfaithful, but could not forgive him a second time!
Lionsmaine: People do not simply give up their relationships as they get sick of their partners. Even in the bible it states that it is acceptable to leave your spouse if he was unfaithful or abusive.
Strong chemistry/good sexual relations keep a couple together best and many do last a lifetime.
You are a good looking man, but age yourself by letting your hair go gray, you should color it.
I plan on keeping my man by being independant, faithful, good cook and sex kitten.
Like my mother, I will take excellent care of myself physically and mentally and will die beautiful with no gray hair on my head!
I am confident that I will find a relationship that will last for life.
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 12/11/2005 4:03:25 PM | Caris, maybe you should be more selective with who you got out with. I would suggest maybe an older man may be more willing to settle down. Play hard to get. Let the guys pursue you as you are busy with your own life. Go no more than 5 to 7 years older. In the meantime, love yourself and make yourself the best you can be! If you have a "few extra pounds", do some excercise you enjoy, like taking up swimming, martial arts or dancing. Keep yourself busy, so you are not "waiting by the phone" and are more interesting to talk to. | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 12/11/2005 4:10:37 PM | Well I'm a woman who doens't want a serious relationship. I feel too independant right now to have a ball and chain on my leg. I am in a stage in my life where I want to do what I want, when I want. I had to answer to someone for seven years, since I was 18. Became single in October. Talk about letting the cat outta the bag. Getting to know someone, and having a serious relationship with them is a whole lot of work. Not wanting to get back into that for a long time. Just so you know, its not just the MEN who don't want to be tied down. | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 12/11/2005 4:51:08 PM | Allow me to simultaneously answer your question, while totally blowing your mind apart.
Ready?
The answer to your question is as complicated to answer as it is easy. All modern empiracle evidence and statistics point to the obvious conclusions:
People are not getting married these days.
People are getting divorced much more.
Common law relationships are normal.
Single life is normal.
Families are diminishing.
Marriages are dimminishing.
These trends will correctly continue on this downward slope until the population is in a state where the "traditional" mindset is all by destroyed, making way for communism.
The % of single people today is like 500% higher than that prior to 60's (when "traditional" life was normal)
So the question must be asked: Where is this coming from?
Essentially, its an onslaught from the economic/financial point of view, as well as from thet social point of view.
The overall answer can and will be addressed to a common theme, which, once we analyze, we can come to some incredible conclusions.
The common theme, is Feminism.
This word in itself, properly studied and analyzed, can answer your question, although, you, the female population, and most of the general population does not and will not give into such a claim.
This mainly is resulting from the general populations ignorance, stupidity, cluelessness, and their willingness to consciously support the media.
Economically speaking, women entering the workforce dropped the wages of males amost in half. The most incredible thing about feminism in itself, is that women quite literally unaware that they literally traded becomming a slave to a husband, slave to a family and slave to kids, and traded this to become a slave to a company, a slave to a corporation and a slave to a 9-5 job.
This is exactly why "traditional" life was common, and marriages so common. There was a dependence. This balance was destroyed with feminism. Feminism automatically reduced the dependence a family (and wife) has on the male patriarch as stable head of hte household.
The collective of the family is then reduce to the individual. The dependence is reduced from the husband/family to the "state" (child day care, etc.)
The reality of Feminism is that it was nothing more than a program designed by communists. This may shock you, but what will shock you even more is all of you peoples inability to prove me wrong. All the initial feminist "leaders" were Jewish Communists. All of them had affiliation to the CPUSA (Communist Party USA).
This was right around the time the infamous Joe McCarthy said "Our government is full of communists". Yes the media ridiculed him; but did it prove him wrong? no.
The media in itself is privatley owned; unlike China and others, we unfortunatley do not have the luxury of having a state-owned media.
Our media is privatley owned by private banks. The media in the 60's was used to spread "progress" for the feminist revolution; Hollywood is under "their" control as was all major newspapers, magazines and TV/News outlets. No, this is not a joke, this is a proven fact.
This is why Leave it to Beaver, Brady Bunch and Cosby, traditional TV shows, were seemingly replaced, gradually, so that today we have TV shows promoting how "fun" and "normal" to be a feminist and to promote the benefits of single life and independence.
i.e. Ally McBeal, Friends, Sienfield, Sex in the City.
All promote single life; All promote feminist-orientated mentality's.
Can the ignorant masses understand what has happened?
No. They can only make threads like this questioning "Why don't we want relationships?"
Sad. | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 12/11/2005 4:55:23 PM | I forgot to add about the wages.
Example:
Man = 40/hr Women = 20/hr (man at work/ women at home)
AFTER FEMINISM:
Man = 20/hr Women = 20/hr
Conclusion for idiots unable to see what happened:
Its a fact that there was absolutley zero increase in the amount of currency put into circulation during the feminist "revolution"
This means, there was no "real" benefit to women entering the workforce. Say a family hypothetically had this situation. The women going to work for 20/hr and the male 20/hr are STILL only making total 40/hr (as was the case prior to feminism)
Women entering the workforce was of no benefit to the women, to the family, to the marriage, or to society.
The only REAL benefits were to communist principals (which hate family and marriage), corporations, capitalism, and the government since 2 people working is better than 1.
Did women see that they traded being a slave to family and kids, to become a slave to the government ?
Nope. Women only see whats on TV unfortunatley.
Sad little impressionable creatures, they really are. | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 12/11/2005 5:06:01 PM | | Soccor/Stud: You are very young and naive to talk about feminism causing the depletion of "traditional relationships". Women burned their bra's and entered the workforce so that they would not have to remain with their abusive/unfaithful husbands! I would have loved to have been a stay at home mom with my children!..........and men do still make significantly more than women as a rule! They found in several studies that children actual benefit from going to daycare as they gain more social skills. | |
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Tastey
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Joined: 12/3/2005
Msg: 189 | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 12/11/2005 5:13:39 PM | I'm so sick and tired of hearing this. It's right up there with the men who whine and complain about "why don't women want a nice guy". I'm tired of hearing remakes of the same old song.
First off, here's the reality of the situation.
Women don't really care about finding a guy who's wanting a real relationship at first when they meet a man. Let's face it, that's not what is running through their mind when they meet up with a guy or see a guy for the first time. More often then not, a woman is attracted to a guy who is going to treat her like crap and will never, ever commit. Or if he does, he's treating her like a possession with whom he's determined to stamp his name on her so that no other guy can have her. At which point he'll either dominant her or keep her on a short leash while he goes off and chases another woman. Let's face it, that's what most women are attracted to. Why??? Because men like that are raw sexuality built into a really good package. That's what women are attracted to, raw sexuality and sensuality just as much as men are. To say that women are not sexual beings is just a illusionary viewpoint. They hope to find the raw sexuality guy that might, just might be in it for a serious relationship. The chance of that is 1%. So good luck with that. Stop complaining about men being scum or men not wanting relationships, ect. Because you're attracted to the wrong guys! Women want sex as much as men, but they are able to hide it better or it's more sub-conscious then with men. Men, it's conscious thought, women, it may be sub-conscious. Sometimes it's conscious, but in the end we're drawn to someone due to physical attraction first and foremost. If you don't pass the physical attraction test, you're not going to get to emotional test. Most women tend to leap into whatever with a guy who passes the first test then get all upset when he's a dork.
Now then, about all the nice guys out there that are complaining about women rejecting them. As I just pointed out before, women are extremely picky to begin with and they're more often lead by their hormones just as much as men. They hide it better and/or they're not really aware of this fact. It's physical attraction first with them as much as it is with men. Men just are more in tune with that fact. The problem with women is that on the surface, they want a nice guy who will treat them like an elegant lady, the ideal romance, the perfect relationship. Deep down, they want to be thrilled, excited, and desired on a very primal sexual level. Who wouldn't!!! The problem though is that tends to be extremely hard to find with a man. Men tend to be either all about the sex or tend to be too emotional, too about emotional connection, and not enough about expressing that emotional care for a woman in a physically way (and yes, I mean more then just sexually, there is a lot of physical ways you can reveal your feelings for her without leaping into bed).
I've been on this website for a little over a week and its panning out just about as much luck as I have on any other website, or in person. Take your average ten women. Five will reject a nice guy outright because of physical appearance. Yes, human beings are just that shallow. Anyone who says otherwise are lying to you! Men and women are shallow people, because deep down they want to be attracted to someone physically. That's just a given, it's a desire that no one else should settle for. Players get all the ladies because why??? Because they settle for less and will screw anything they can get their hands. Ugly, beautiful, horribly abusive, a saint, it doesn't matter to them. The reason why a nice guy has so much trouble is because... I know, shocker... We have standards! We don't settle for less and its that viewpoint of not willing to settle for less then what we feel we deserve is why most single people are just that, single! We don't want to settle for less. Now then, for those five women that haven't outright rejected you. Three of them will find you attractive enough to consider dating you. Two won't, they just like you for a friend. Freindzone status right off the bat. Of the remaining three, you may actually have a chance with getting to a first date with maybe one of them. If you're lucky. Typically women will judge you out of "is he worth my time" pretty quickly. Why? They don't want to waste time with someone that may not fulfill everything they desire and trust me, since they can sit back and allow men to come to them without putting out any effort on their part (ladies, face it, its the truth) they can wait for the next opportunity to come along. Of course, this breeds the abusive women that we nice guys will complain about, the female "player". Female players are the ones that will string you along just enough to keep you tempted, but then turn their attention to another guy. They'll keep you on the backburner, making it seem like they want to be with you making it so you don't end up with another woman, just long enough for them to enjoy their sexual flings. Once they're done, you've been sitting by like a little puppy until she's ready to finally settle down and boom, you're their back up guy. Women can be just as a big of a player as a man can, their methods differ however so they're more subtle.
Here's a rule of thumb. Women are subtle with their interactions with others. This is why women are backstabbing towards one another, are often manipulative of situations, and will be emotional cruel to one another. That's why women tend to be more under the table with their conflicts and are known as the "anti-violence" because they'll get revenge, just not directly.
Men on the other hand will settle their disputes with one another (and women) directly, and forcefully. We're not subtle (for the most part) and that's why we get labeled as violent morons. Also, why men are labeled as "just in it for sex" because we put our sexuality out there, right out in the open. Women can be just as abusive and sexual as men, they're just better at hiding it or subtle about it. The key thing to remember here is that we're all human, we have the same flaws and to say that one gender is better or worse then the other is just outright wrong. We just have different ways of expressing ourselves. Blame genetics, blame society, I don't care, the results are the same.
So women, stop complaining about men mistreating you. The reason is not 100% our faults, you just pass up all the good guys because you want something more obvious with his sexuality. Nice guys are as sexually prominent as bad boys, we're just not as obvious about it. Take a bad boy that you're attracted to, he's like a match. Quick to flare up, get your attention, but will die out real quick (make whatever "in bed" jokes you want, but that's not what I meant, I'm speaking of relationships as well). Nice guys are like a fire in a fireplace. Sure, takes some time to get the heat going, but his fire will burn long and keep you company long after the initial burst of flame gets started. So to women interested in a serious relationship, give the nice guys a chance, the guys that at first you would turn down. Because give him some kind attention and trust me, more often then not you'll find an incredible lover because he actually cares about your desires, your passion, as well as his, as well as a long term relationship with a man that will be completely devoted to you because he will be so happy to have someone so beautiful and perfect in his eyes to be with him.
As for nice guys? Dear lord, don't act like a player. That's not you. Don't go after every woman that passes you buy, be picky. Pick and choose your battles. Don't get all mad and frustrated, saying women are horrible. They're not, they're just picky and selective. It's about time you should to. Consider yourself a rare commodity, let's face it, we are. Don't try to thrust yourself into a woman's life, that just wont' work. That's how players work and that's not what you're going for. Sell yourself to them, entice them a little. Prove to them how you're not like the guys they're used to dealing with. Try subtle things. Trust me, if a player even attempts these methods, they'll (women) end up seeing right through his deception. That's the main reason you have to be patient, women are keeping you at distance wondering, "He's just like the others..." Give them time to learn that you're not, that you're actually who you claim to be. Saying you're a nice guy doesn't mean anything, for a woman its in the proof. Liars can only last so long until they bury themselves in their falsehoods. If you're true to who you are long term, you'll reveal to a woman how lucky she is to have you in her life.
The thing is, nice guys need time to prove themselves. Both to prove the fact that they are after more then just a physical thing and that they're a whole lot better to be with then your other typical man. The problem is? Nice guys tend to want to rush things, get frustrated that they're just not instantly snatched up, and get mad about it. That's where they fail. Women fail because they don't give decent men a chance to prove themselves. You're quick to reject them outright just like you do with everyone else. So, on both ends of the spectrum, try pacing yourself and learn patience. Take time to know one another, and build up a slow burning, long lasting, and deeply passionate fire. Then the woman will get everything she wants, and incredibly satisfying sexual life as well as a deeply fulfilling emotional life. And in turn, finally nice guys will be treated with the respect they deserve, they're rare commodities that should be treasured and cared for, and of course snatched up as quickly as possible because the next gal coming along may not be so judgmental and end up with her prince while the other woman is still sitting here wondering, "What's going on with men!" | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 12/11/2005 7:22:37 PM | after reading this whole thread I have to say it is both woman and man.
For myself I am happy with how my life is. I am not looking for anything more than just friends from this site. I would eventually like long term but you need to start as friends and build on that. I am not looking for "f" friends either. Looks do matter I will admit that but there is A LOT more than looks that is important to me. I'm not asking for a super model but I do have to at least be atracted to the guy. I am a single mother, my son comes first always. I am not a golddigger by any means but would not date a guy again unless he had a decent job. By a decent job I mean enough to support himself and have a little extra if we were to hang out and do stuff. I believe both people should pay on a date or at the least take turns. I don't want a b/f again where I have to pay for everything and I would not expect him to pay for me or my child. I would however expect him to respect my child and treat him fairly. I would not expect him to support him financially. I do think that both man and woman should support their own kids but do not feel like they need to support their partners kids from previous releationships. I know a lot of guys (and probably woman) do this willingly but it is not something I expect. I have dated a lot of a**holes in the past and put up walls all around me because of this. There are times where I think I want a serious relationship but often think it is easier to not even try. I always feel like I put too much into the relationship and don't get the respect I deserve. Being friends is better there is not all the stress of a relationship. if it goes further than that then so be it. I have been single for over a year and seem to be doing just fine. | |
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Shaps
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Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 193 | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 12/11/2005 9:40:07 PM | | I know what you mean, mostly all I ever get are offers for sex, and NO WHERE in my profile doesn't it even remotly make someone think I would want that! I don't want a f*ck buddy, I want atleast a mostly-serious relationship! | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 12/11/2005 10:02:01 PM | For me, I am looking for a serious relationship....
I just turned 38 last week and tired of head games....
I've been around the block and found that women are the same way too, not just men....
It takes two to play....
I have been invalve with couple of women are like that too....
Using me as a play toy, "BOOTY CALL", I'm not like that at all....
Someday I want to get married and start a family of my own....
Yes, men needs to get there act together, but also same with the women, they also need to get there act together....
I know what I want in life, plan and simple....
Is that to much to ask here, I don't think so, not unless I am wrong here....
Yes, there are men out there that just don't care, because one, they are married and want a fling on the side or two, have sevral women out there as "BOOTY CALLS".... | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 12/17/2005 12:34:40 PM | | Because FREEDOM is addictive. I am in a serious relationship, but it's bc the guy I am with is truly good and wonderful, and not bc I am in a "relationship mode-phase ". I truly do love him. But when I was single during my Undergrad years, I wanted to be single. Many wanted to be with me, many asked me out on 5th dates, many asked me out to be their girl...but never, never did I want to be committed. It was all because of freedom and living life the way I wanted to live it. I truly enjoyed it and sometimes, I reminisce about those days. I can still do it, but I don't want to hurt someone in the process. | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 3/25/2006 10:57:35 AM | hi im 28/m/sherburne ny you know what i love to have a relashionship. soo you want a guy that knows what he wants in life that is ready to settle down. you know what im not out there to ****, ****, ****,. there ***holes all they want is a diffrent snatch everyday they can't handle just one I guess it not good enough i don't know im not like what ur asking so i couldn't realy tell ya. u have all these dumb ****s in here talking about marrege and divorce LISTEN UP U DUMB ****S SHE IS ASKING WHY DON'T MALES WANT A RELASHIONSHIP AS IN NOBODY WIL; STAY WITH HER PROB LONG ENOUGH TO GET IN GAGED LET ALONE MARRIED. SOME OF U PEPOLE ARE DUMMER THEN A BOX OF RACKS I THINK MOST U GUY REPLYING DO THE SAME THING SHE ASKIN **** THE GIRL UPSTAIRS NEXTDOOR, AND HAVE ALL THESE STRINGS ATTACHED SETTLE WITH ONE THAT'S 1 NOT 1 A DAY 7 AWEEK. OH YA i'LL GO CARISS TONIGHT AND CINDY TOMORROW NIGHT, AND CRYSTAL ON FRIDAY NIGHT AFTER THE BAR AND GEE ITS SATURDAY i'LL **** THE SHIT OUT OF AMBER. HELLO YOU ***hole **** IT UP FOR THE REST THAT WANT SOMETHING REAL. cryiss aby just come see me where u from i'll bed ya down sweet cheeks.
tim | |
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| Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore???
Posted: 3/25/2006 12:19:44 PM | I am afraid you are looking at the issue the wrong way my friend....
Why is it that everyone nowadays just wants a fu*k buddy or someone casual????
Sounds as though you are choosing the type of guy that can have any woman he wants (probably the tall, good-looking player) this is so common in women it is almost impossible to find a woman that has not/does not date anything other than a player and has been burnt many times....
I would love to know what it is that scares men so much about a relationship
Not all men are scared of a relationship. It is that you choose the wrong men to start one (see my previous point). Does anyone like good, healthy food? Most people dont, because it does not taste good. Same with dating...You like the good looking guys, and they are used to play with women, and have multiple girlfriends at the same time. So then, you are gonna begin thinking that all men avoid relationships, but the one who's choosing the wrong guy is you, so it is your own fault.
We all make the mistakes, but sometimes do not have the courage to admit that we made them. Then we go around blaming everyone for the fact that we simply do not know how to choose a mate....
Good luck.... | |
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