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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/1/2009 9:20:07 AM | No they don't is my opinion.
I'd consider myself to be a nice guy. I work, i'm friendly, i'd do anything to help anybody (within reason), i'm generous, i'm thoughtful and respectful. I'm not a pushover though.
Women aren't interested. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/1/2009 2:28:13 PM | | Its an odd phenomenon because I am regarded by my male peers as tough as nails and a man who can be counted on in any situation, but because I am well spoken ,polite,generous and treat women with respect they have no interest in me and consider me weak I suppose? Or maybe I am just ugly? | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/1/2009 2:57:47 PM |
Its an odd phenomenon because I am regarded by my male peers as tough as nails and a man who can be counted on in any situation, but because I am well spoken ,polite,generous and treat women with respect they have no interest in me and consider me weak I suppose? Or maybe I am just ugly?
Could be insecurity. Many women are often very insecure and rely on the support of their girlfriends to justify their actions. Women don't want a guy they can't complain about to their girlfriends, they want somebody with enough visible flaws that they can always have somebody to blame and to justify their own bad behavior. The most crippling thing to a woman is that she does something bad, her significant other doesn't take her bs excuse, then she has no way to blame him for anything to her girlfriends, causing her girlfriends to turn their backs on her. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/4/2009 2:39:57 PM |
I am well spoken ,polite,generous and treat women with respect
and on another thread by the same poster:
Most of these so called rapes are just an excuse for promiscuous young women to justify a pregnancy or a venereal disease
Maybe you are just too enlightened for them.
When we say we want nice guys, we mean all the way through nice, not just on the surface you act nice but are a simmering bed of hostility underneath, and the polite nice guy part is just a front to get the girls .
Nice guys don't say things like "most of these so called rapes are just an excuse by promiscuous young women....." so if you consider yourself a nice guy you need to first define it as more than being polite. It's a mindset that has no place for hostility toward women. It's a gentle, compassionate, open minded, non-judgemental attitude towards women at it's heart, something that is in short supply on these forums from certain male posters. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/4/2009 6:23:11 PM | | It all depends on how you define a nice/good guy anyone can say they are a nice guy but can you walk it can you breath it? can you be honorable and let a woman stab you cause your core values state "i will never hurt a woman"? are you willing to stand in front of a bullet for her and the next day bow out cause she found a different man without the rage in your heart? every person reacts differently in different situations. These are some of the things that happened in my life, but to some I'm still seen as a "Jerk" cause i didn't fight for that woman who chose the other man and got hurt because of it. Being a good man doesn't always mean your going to do the right thing. For some women the only way they can learn is to get hurt first. are you able to be the good man and allow that woman to get hurt? so you can pick her up in the morning only to watch her leave and get hurt again? I won't say I'm perfect nor am i anywhere near. But enlighten me and define your term of a nice guy? Cause sometimes what we see as being nice is often more harmful. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/4/2009 6:38:16 PM | Hey someone said something very interesting.....
maybe the focus is to not be a nice guy but to just be polite enough?
Women always talk about manners which is what nice guys have alot of but they are the ones turned down, maybe instead of telling people we are nice we should just say we are polite so that it is not lying when us men show "the dark side" (1 Darkside point)
just sayin! | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/4/2009 8:04:34 PM | | whenwillthiswork26 I can understand that without knowing me my post would sound hostile but what I was making reference to was the statistical fact that a great many of these "date rape" accusations are proven to be false and were used by the woman after contracting a vd or becoming pregnant through consentual sex I am not talking about a genuine or violent rape event. Add to this the fact that the girl said she stayed with this guy who raped her until he dumped her some 3 days later tells me something as well...... | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/5/2009 9:47:38 AM | yes, women want nice guys. Problem is that most nice guys really aren't all that nice. They think they are. But their actions prove that they are the same as the the other players.
As women will seek out "nice" guys, men will pretend to be nice guys to attract them. Got to kiss lots of frogs these days to find a prince. I am still looking. Maybe it seems like I have a chip on my shoulder because I do. I just got burned again by a "nice" guy who turned out to be a control freak and a liar.
Live and learn - love and learn. Heartbreak shows that you are alive. Keep fishing!! | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:15:58 AM |
women want nice guys. Problem is that most nice guys really aren't all that nice. They think they are. But their actions prove that they are the same as the other players.
I agree. I have met so many "nice guys" that anyone would swear are just the nicest sweetest saint's on earth. One of them turned out to be a multiple rapist.
Another one was a pathological liar, unable to tell the truth about anything.
This one actually described himself to my friend as "just a nice guy".
The very worst guys are the ones who have a perfect front of being just a nice guy.
They fool everyone, while they are lying, cheating, perving, sneaking around,
secretly having multiple girlfriends who all think that they are the only ones.
Next time I will look for a guy who isn't so nice but at least shows who he really is
from the beginning. Someone who communicates openly and honestly about everything from day one. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:32:19 AM | That's your problem right there whenwillthiswork26 , you fall for every line some of these guys give you...Any person that emphasizes how "nice " they are in most cases are full of sh1t.
I'm wary of any woman that emphasizes or over emphasizes how nice, honest, and doesn't cheat or play games blah blah blah, the majority of them are the worst culprit.
Once again, seeing and recognizing the red flags helps. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/5/2009 1:35:51 PM | | They say they do but they don't. Anytime a nice guy comes their way, they have a tendency to push them away. Therefore the reason why I won't chase somebody just to get their intention. Not worth it | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/5/2009 4:07:40 PM |
Next time I will look for a guy who isn't so nice but at least shows who he really is
from the beginning. Someone who communicates openly and honestly about everything from day one.
Finally the coin seems to be dropping. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/5/2009 4:18:00 PM | Isnt that a million dollar question.
I think women want a good man, not a good guy, not a bad boy and not an ass hole.
My ex dumped me because she said i was an ass hole to her, and its bs she cheated on me and she just needed an excuse.
last girl i went out on a date turned me down because she said that i liked her too much and i was too nice. BS she liked me as much as i did, its just i was too opend about it and i just wanted to show her my best side.
In my conclusion, when you meet women you have to act like you dont care about then but still be nice. Once you go out with them treat them with respect and dignity as they would respect you. You cant be a pushover or an enabler in a relationship. Also you cant be abusive or controlling.
Its all about games, people!
Funny how half of the women claim that they dont play them.
Ps
even to this point i dont know what women really want from us! It was just a guess | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/5/2009 6:21:30 PM | | I don't emphasize being nice at all I just act like who I am. I am outspoken at times can have a temper when need be but overall I try to think before I speak and show courtesy and respect to the people around me but if you are one of those idiots driving along in the left lane at 10 k below the limit and keeping pace with the car beside you so no one can pass you may see another side of me you may not like at all........ | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/6/2009 8:28:48 PM | Wow
i am questioning myself if i ever was a nice guy.
I thought i was but i think for the last two years of my life i was just doing nice things for women.
I know for sure that I am friendly, polite, respectful and sweet as long as the girl was doing the same. Lol i need to figure myself out because i can be a real mean ruthless cruel motherfcker. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/7/2009 1:59:34 AM | | There is a common theme here about trying to be nice, maybe that is the point, not trying to be anything and being yourself and hopefully that is a decent human being that is vaguely relationship material. No one is perfect but everyone thinks they are nice so maybe i should just be myself and hope that it is nice for someone! | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/7/2009 9:30:30 AM | [q]Its all about games, people!
Funny how half of the women claim that they dont play them.[/q]
I see alot of mens profiles saying they don't want women who play games, and yet we all know that dating is a series of games.
Everyone puts up the qualities that will make them look their best. Are they like that 100% of the time? Doubtful.
You're not going to read "I like to come home after work on Friday, drink a six pack, and fart all night while I watch UFC". A realistic profile? yes. Will anyone put it on their page? NO. Or 'for one week a month you should sleep with one eye open because I have PMS and may kill you in your sleep because you did not take the garbage out -AGAIN!!!"
It is all games. In fact, I am going to change my profile to say just that- i like games. Monopoly, poker, that game where you pick which of two things you like better (boxers or briefs?). Life is full of games, so no one should be surprised when someone plays one.
Being a two faced liar after claiming to be a nice guy? That is not a game. It is delusion. And it comes from someone who more interested in what they can get than what they can give. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/7/2009 10:21:38 AM | You must play the game. Dating IS the game. People that don't want games, are just not up to speed. They themselves play them. The game is internal.... a match between your life as a lover, and your life as a wife and/or mother.
The mother and wife wants a honest, hard working, loving husband to settle down with. Someone who will be thoughtful and loving to them, bring them flowers, be romantic, attentive to their needs, and a loving father to future children.
The lover wants a sexual object. A man who is an animal, dirty, who will do whatever necessary to achieve his desires. They want to be the object of a man's desires, and someone who is wild, passionate, self confident, and radical.
People with low self esteem allow the lover in them to make decisions for them. Being an object of a sexually desirable man makes them feel more valuble. They put attractiveness, dominance, and their ego at a higher priority than having a good relationship with their partner. They'd rather have the excitement of being with a morally questionable stud, than being with a kind caring gentleman because it makes them feel good about themselves. They see the man who is in love with them, and thinks "how pathetic"... because they think "only a loser would be in love with someone like me". Low self confidence is the main problem.
In the dating world, it is simply important to know what it is you want. Do you just want a lover? Or do you want a future partner? If you want a partner for life, try and dial down the emphasis you put on the physical side of a person. Find a person who deserves to be happy in life, and then make it happen for them. Your lack of self confidence will drag you into wanting
If you are a man or woman who always seems to be left behind wondering why..... The easiest thing to say is, it is the person who left you. They dont like your persona. You are the honest caring person who loves them and needs them, and they want to be the object of someone's wild desires. he answer is respect yourself, love yourself, and don't need. When you show someone you need them, they lose respect for you, and pitty you.
To win: Love yourself, and find someone who does too.
To lose: Lack self confidence, and need someone else's love to be happy. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/8/2009 10:48:01 AM | Hey I learned some almost revolutionary advice today! When us nice guys talk to women about how to attract women we usually ask women like our moms or sisters or female friends and I know their advice usually does not work but I now know why.
It is because those women do not want us to act like the guy that would actually attract them so they tell us the wrong thing.
Not on purpose mind you but they feel they will upset their balance with you if they were to tell you how to attract them for either because it would be weird or damage what you have so the lesson here is do not treat women like you would treat your mom!
sorry if this is a weird thing to post I just think that may help some people here. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/8/2009 10:30:46 PM | | Criss why the heck did you go to a female for advice besides you mom >.< that's like jumping into a pool of sharks with an open wound. j/k Most of the female friends i have have never done me wrong tbh. I'm still single, but they were truly helpful to me while i was with my ex which cheated on me 4 time. The female friends rather then help me with the relationship just kinda tried to make me see my ex for who she was, and i still thank them to this day for it. I guess my point is it all depends on who the person is. Every single person is different so no one can judge a person based on what 1 person does. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/8/2009 11:09:15 PM | Well excuse me for not being born with luck with the females but then again I guess that is why we are all here
I should go to budda next I heard he got mad women despite being an obese omnipotent peace god. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:34:00 AM | Of course they want nice guys, but they don't want nice guys who say they're nice guys because they not nice guys, but the nice guys who don't say they're nice guys aren't the nice guys that they want.
Well....it made sense the first time I said it.
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