| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/9/2009 9:35:15 AM | Yes, but only if we are attracted to them, and only if they aren't being nice trying to get something for it. If you're wanting your "niceness" to get you dates, or anything else - it's not really being nice. It's being manipulative.
Nice people don't discuss it, or ask why it's not working for them - they are nice because it's just who they are. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/9/2009 10:20:15 AM | You're post makes total sense womaninprogress. The problem is a lot of guys are impervious to this logic. They don't get the crucial part of what you said "if we are attracted to them."
It's easy for a guy to just throw his hands up in the air and say "women hate guys who are nice to them!" when something doesn't work out.
It's a cop out in my opinion.
I'm nice to women I date. I don't do it with an ulterior motive - I do it because that's how I treat people. Sometimes things work out, sometimes they don't. When things didn't work out, I never felt like I was rejected simple because I was "too nice". | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/9/2009 11:20:27 PM | Its like Jell-O . Sure its great for desert every once in a while, but really, theres no substance to it, no real definition and all the flavor and zest is fake and artificial.
Do you really wanna be Jell-O? Especially when women really LOVE Chocolate?
You know whats going to win every time? Sure they may say they want Jell-O to maintain a figure, or cuz its sugar free; but at the end of the desert... its the triple chocodeath terramisso that is gone. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/10/2009 7:24:21 AM | I wonder about this rather often,i have been on this site a week and i sent out messages to have a dozen women who seemed nice and only got back 2 replies and after they replied i send back further communication and nothing more came of it,the rest didnt even bother to replie,i am a shy guy i dont find it easy to take the step to say hello but i did and got all of nothing for my effort,but i am not mad i think its more complicated than just looking for a nice guy or Mr Right as alot of women put it,there seem to be a few factors to consider such as:i think most women are looking for all the good things in a man,like love,understanding,compassion,respect,as long as the physical,mental,emotional,and sexual needs are met,but also they want a man who can provide a man who works,i think if a guy had all that other stuff but didnt work it wouldnt be enough,which is sad,i guess i have to ask and wonder why their standards have to be so dam high i am a guy i aint perfect i dont work at the moment and i am not sure when i will,my parents taught me all the right stuff and more i am always respectful to women,hell i am not even looking for serious yet all i want are friends but even that seems to much to ask from any woman.
I think past experiences close their hearts down they protect themselves everyone does it,its hard to reach out to a guy you worry he might hurt,and that possible hurt can seem very large and daunting at times but their are men out there who are genuine but you may need to lower your standards to see them,you dont have to of course but everyone has problems and issues they deal with in their lives,no ones perfect people have to work together to make something like a relationship or a friendship work.
Who knows what the problem is in the end but i am dam confused,and i am very positive now that a womans logic cannot be figured out. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/10/2009 7:52:40 AM | | What we have to realize is that women have a very stringent physical critereria that must be met before she will even give the man the opportunity to show his personality, and this criteria is different for every woman,for some it is height for some eye or hair colour,length of hair the shape or build of the mans body,his ethnic background or colour can be a factor,so without meeting these criteria it won't matter if you are nice or an ***hole or whatever you are because the first thing she requires is the physical attraction anyways. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/11/2009 10:05:33 AM |
without meeting these criteria it won't matter if you are nice or an ***hole or whatever you are because the first thing she requires is the physical attraction anyways.
This isn't specific to women. Most people don't want to date someone they have no attraction to - that is if they plan to do more than play checkers with that person. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/11/2009 11:06:29 PM | It has been my experience that woman are attracted to men that are considered "players" or bad guys. Woman always say they want a nice guy. I don't think they chose one in the end. I think they think they can fix what ever is wrong with the guy. That means they end up trying to change the guy. That will end in failure. I am a nice guy and have been single for 18 years. Not going to change. This just my opinion. Based on a lot of years of observation however.
Good luck, ALL | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/12/2009 7:22:10 AM | | They seem to not mind good guys for the short term...but for the long term they mostly want a good looking guy who will treat them like crap and then they will complain about him to every good guy they meet? | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/12/2009 7:47:59 AM |
It has been my experience that woman are attracted to men that are considered "players" or bad guys. Woman always say they want a nice guy. I don't think they chose one in the end. I think they think they can fix what ever is wrong with the guy. That means they end up trying to change the guy. That will end in failure. I am a nice guy and have been single for 18 years. Not going to change. This just my opinion. Based on a lot of years of observation however.
1. The theory that "nice" is what keeps you single is false. Nice may be what women are using for an excuse - but usually it's some other thing, like being a doormat or just lack of attraction.
2. Women are not attracted to bad boys or players - but since those guys approach and talk to more women because they dont' fear rejection, they do have a quality some women mistake for confidence. There are also guys who do a bait and switch and aren't terrible in the beginning stages of a relationship (my guess is they hide it until a woman's attached because they know if they didn't no one would bother with em).
3. A lot of women don't want to fix a guy - they want him perfect from day one. I'm sure men will complain about THAT too. Which is it - accept a man and work with the flaws, or look for a guy with no flaws? Seems we can't win with that one.
for the long term they mostly want a good looking guy who will treat them like crap and then they will complain about him to every good guy they meet?
4a. Where do men get this theory that hot = bad treatment? It only does if the woman is more interested in looks than personality. If she is such a woman, why do you care what she does? Sounds like a bad choice. There ARE men who are hot and nice, just as there are men who are not so hot and total jerks. Looks and personality aren't connected to the extent a lot of men think they are (tho the less attractive men are more apt to fall for this theory - I guess it makes them feel better).
Solution? Step off the wall and go after the woman you want - and let her know you have attraction to her. That's what these so called bad boys do - they make their intentions known. Women respond to that - if the "nicer" guys had more backbone and were more proactive, they'd be able to compete with this. Don't befriend her or try to impress her if she's not interested in you romantically for who you are first.
If some woman sits around telling you about all the men she dates or sleeps with and you ain't one of them - YOU PUT YOURSELF THERE. Quit blaming women. Let a woman know you're interested in her as more than a friend and if she's not on the same page, cut ties. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/12/2009 10:08:05 PM | | What about us average family kind of guys? where do we fit In? not overly nice not overly bad just reliable and responsible and respectfull,take care of our kids and families[if we have them]treat our woman well but don't let them push us around we are average looking for the most part, does this not describe most normal functioning men? We are not mean or trouble makers but if someone gets in our face we will deal with it and usually come out on top because we are men not boys. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/18/2009 8:30:47 PM | I don't believe for a second that a nice guy is what women want. They say they want a good guy but in reality they want the bad boy they can change and make him the good guy they molded into a little box of all the preconceptions they have in their minds. If women wanted the good guy they could of had him many times as he is the guy that was your friend and was always nice to you and you kept looking for what you wanted in the wrong guy when you already met the guy that would treat you like a queen.
It happens with guys too and I have walked right on by a great girl because it was another one that was wild that I really wanted but in reality I should have chose the other sister that was always so sweet to me. By the time I realized what I was missing out on she was with another guy and still is today. I have done this a few times when I was younger and now when I look back on my life I realize it. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/18/2009 10:47:58 PM |
Solution? Step off the wall and go after the woman you want - and let her know you have attraction to her. That's what these so called bad boys do - they make their intentions known. Women respond to that - if the "nicer" guys had more backbone and were more proactive, they'd be able to compete with this. Don't befriend her or try to impress her if she's not interested in you romantically for who you are first.
Nah, I d rather keep what's left of my self-confidence with me. Since I sort of need it in other areas of my life as well. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:10:40 AM |
Nah, I d rather keep what's left of my self-confidence with me. Since I sort of need it in other areas of my life as well.
If your self confidence comes from whether or not women you don't know like you, then I guess yeah - you should quit dating.
Self confidence SHOULD come from making moves in life, setting out to do something and accomplishing what you can control. What comes of it isn't something you can control, so you can't gauge self worth by it. The success is in trying, and learning from the outcome. Therefore approaching the girl in itself is the success. What comes of it isn't personal at all. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/20/2009 9:34:21 PM | nice guys are like door matts, but only because they are scared of ruining the relationship. Its like counterproductive, but they learn to stand up for themselves after couple of time of being taken advantage of.
I have no problem looking at a girl and saying that is screwed up if i think its screwed up. I feel like when i ended things with the girl i dated i told her it was one sided and i had faith in her making the right choices and apparently she made the wrong choices. I left, i don't need problems that i can't fix. Confident guys know what they want and decides to stop or end things if they know its not going to work out. but if the women treats them right he will do whatever it take to make his women happy this includes safety, loyalty, and sex. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/20/2009 11:25:25 PM | I have had handsome boyfriends who could be the nicest guy you ever met
but underneath, he was a sneaky liar. I've had two in a row like that.
So what do I do, reject the nice handsome guys who seem to be extremely nice guys?
Because once I really get to know them, they are most definitely the opposite of
nice guys.
I have gone out with super handsome guys who were jerks and I never wanted to see them again. The ones that act extremely sweet, I want to see again and have relationships with. I'm just saying that sneaky player type guys can put on
academy award acts.
I agree that the jerks, who are pretending to be nice guys,
are the ones that come after me and ask me out a lot
and have no problem chasing me. The truely nice guys are much too easily
discouraged and do not put effort into what it takes to enter into any sort
of relationship.
But a guy who acts like a jerk right off the bat? Of course I won't have anything
to do with him.
So I am now in the horrible position of, when I meet a nice guy, expecting him to
really be a jerk underneath the sweet innocent nice guy act. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/23/2009 12:15:46 AM | | I would think alot of them actually do like nice guys. And then of course you have the bossy, controlling types that simply want just some weakminded doormat that they can mold and change, to their own standards. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/23/2009 3:02:49 AM | I'll take nice man any day over the later however thats an oxyMORON in its self, and your not fooling anyone. Those who profess to be " nice" seldom are ( no offense op) as for bad arses...those are nice guys who don't go about pretending to have manners. " hackles are up" men are men and they don't deviate much under any subtitle, but hey we all need a bedtime story with happily ever after to end the chapter.
Cheers | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/23/2009 4:55:51 PM | | My ex gf had a hysterectmy, possible breast cancer, lupus and and other issues in the two years we dated. I the nice guy stayed with her and got the shaft at the end. Actually if I think about I'm better off. I read an article that women want nice guys but we are predictable so we become boring. Thats why they go for the bad boy image. The aswer is to be nice with a touch of adventure. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:28:15 PM | It never ceases to amaze me the this-or-that mentality that so many people have. In this case, it's that if women aren't attracted to "nice guys" then they must be attracted to "jerks."
Does it not occur to some people that women are really attracted to guys who are neither nice guys nor jerks? | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/23/2009 11:32:51 PM | A lot of people think being "nice" means agreeing with everything she says, doing everything she asks, trying too hard to please her, not being yourself in hopes of being who you think she wants you to be. That version of "nice" is boring and predictable and undesirable to women.
Girls have certain things they look for. They always say things like, "I want a tall guy" or "I want a financially stable guy" or "confidence is attractive", etc. etc. The truth is, they aren't really looking for a specific height or a specific income, etc. etc. They are looking for a man to be by their side. Someone who will allow them to feel secure and safe. In other words, the girl doesn't want to be the guy in the relationship. She wants the guy to be the guy. It's really that simple. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:07:59 PM | | People please.....lets not complicate the issue,it is all about physical attraction if she is attracted to you then your personality is not an issue... | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 10/26/2009 4:49:58 PM | ^agreed...it's the inevitable flaw built into all human beings.
Looks are what drives, women just can't admit it, that's why guys are always called "cute" or "he's too nice"
Point taken, I ride motorcycles, laid one down because of a teenager who didn't use a turn signal and no brake lights, walked away bleeding and bruised, and still have scars. I ride ATV's, shoot guns and compound bows, even attempting to learn how to snowboard. I do manual labor, and 2% of my job is desk related.
Doesn't matter, it's looks. Pure and simple. | |
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