| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 11/26/2005 5:24:17 PM | | I don't believe women do want a nice guy. I believe they look at how much a guy makes, or what kind of "coolness" they have. It is a matter of them wanting someone they can show off. Like look how much my boyfriend makes or the look how "cool" he is. I wish their were girls out there just looked at how the guy treats them. We can treat you good without having to buy you everything. I know plenty of things that I could do to make a women pleased and happy they have me, but I don't get the chance because I never try and act cool, or show off that I have money | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 11/26/2005 5:28:46 PM | | Don't feel bad for you are not the only one in the sinking boat! I either get the married, ancient old farts or the halfway across the world men! Sorry I don't have any magic words of advice but to tell you keep hope and faith she IS out there and you WILL one day find her and it may be when you least expect it! | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 11/27/2005 3:09:59 AM | | I know lots of people who say don't try so hard!!, but what am i supposed to do?? if i don't try at all then i am a player i womens minds, their is no winning for guys!! | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 11/27/2005 4:58:34 AM | | I have to agree with Bill3d on this one. He does make alot of sense. However, I have found that in most cases, woman do want a guy with an edge to him. It keeps them from getting too boring in life. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 11/27/2005 5:06:18 AM | | i just got dumped for being nice guy she said i am adorable and sweet etc but she is not used to the atention i gave her i mean i wasnt smoothering or anything she said that but still dumped she was the first one i actually opened up to since my divorce 3 years ago and i have dated a lot since then but to me she was well different so now i just want to give up on the whole dating period it hurts to much for me | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 11/27/2005 5:55:48 AM | I agree with you! I have been told so many times in the begining by a woman that they are tired of dating loserd and jerks! They say they want a guy to treat them like a woman and just be a nice guy. then when you actually try and be respectful and considerate and nice you hear that your not edgey enough or enough of a bad boy. It does not make sense to me! Don't any women out there want to be treated like a woman? I mean really!
Wil. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 11/27/2005 6:32:50 AM |
i want a nice guy but alot of them want perfect woman guys like that i say go to walmart and you can purchase one for a mere 10 dollars ask the clerk for the barbie section Barbie is not perfect...who wants a girl who is 10 inches tall and has a 2 inch waist? 
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 11/27/2005 6:34:35 AM | | lmao... and Barbie clones are the decline of modern thinking!!! Do girls want nice guys??? You could better answer this by reading the 53 thousand other threads on this very topic... | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 11/27/2005 6:53:05 AM | I have heard it said by several people (mostly women, of course) that men don't get a brain until they hit 35. This may or may not be true (of,course being a man, and considering myself relatively intelligent, I disagree).
I have come to the conclusion the women don't know what they really want in a man until they hit 30-32.
Why, you might ask?
They "fall" for the exciting, dashing,bad-boy early and get pregnant/married or married/pregnant and then realize that the "bad-boy" is an a**hole, jerk, sh*tball that abuses them in one way or another.
If women make it through their "exciting, life-on-the-edge years" with their sanity intact. They mature enough to realize want they are really looking for, but by then they are gunshy and think most guys are or will revert to being jerks etc.
This is unfortunate for those of us who were raised to respect and cherish women and treat them well. (I don't mean give them EVERYTHING they want, simply well.....WELL) | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 12/4/2005 7:59:38 PM | i can tell you i want a nice guy, ive been getting hurt by all the bad guys out there, i hate it, i would love to have a nice sweet guy. but i jsut brokeup with my bf he didnt tell me why we broke up so yea there are several of grls that want nice guys and its true.
i hope this is helping you,
molly | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 12/4/2005 8:09:48 PM | | Although I'm not half as upset over this particular fact as you are, I totally agree! Every time I hear "I would love to meet a guy like you..." It's from a female friend that is dating someone, has a boyfriend, is married, the list goes on. End result, unavailable. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 12/4/2005 8:21:51 PM | I think the problem is this. The guys who perpetuate the cry, "Women just don't like nice guys" are spending too much time feeling sorry for themselves. They are in truth, egotistical. They are focusing on themselves and then blaming women for their own problems rather than seeing the true root cause of their situation. A guy needs to be happy with himself and his life and is secure and confident in who he is BEFORE he tries to get into a relationship. If he enters a relationship without being confident and secure, then he is only going to dump his problems, his insecurities, and his self pity on the women he tries to end up with. Self-pity, lack of self-esteem and lack of self-respect are very unattractive. And these things only lead to a lack of respect for women and their views and opinions, feelings and needs.
Nice guys don't like themselves. It's like a tired pick-up line. If you're truly a nice guy, you don't have to advertise it. Being a nice guy is not a synonym for being a co-dependant lump, however, calling yourself a "nice guy" like it is some badge of martyrdom, IS.
Nice guys like you are the plague. Who wants to spend time with someone with hypocritical values, a whiny and self-centered outlook, and feels that his "nice" behavior is like a barter system. Nice guys don't finish last... but whiny, I'm-so-sorry-for-myself-I'd-kill-myself-but-I'd-rather-mope guys finish last, and so they should. Grow a spine, stop expecting something for practically nothing, and get over it. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 12/4/2005 8:44:23 PM | | of course i think of him more i ain't gonna lie about that cause he made me think of him more and more and more i think about him it just boils my blood ........ but past is past gotta move on what can ya do u can't provent it it just happens.... it's like give a dog a bone and the'll bite till all gone .... if ya give a puppy a bone then they see how it is first..... that how life is so either u play the game or not do it at all........... and personally i don't think anyone likes ta be lonely | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 12/4/2005 8:51:09 PM | | yeah i know what u mean there limey i never really clicked into the datein after my husband died i actuall settled for the first man..... whitch was my mistake and regret now... but limey not all women are like that i'm sorry to hear about that cause i know how it feels i just recently got dumped for askin him to go for a walk with me ......and i hadn't seen him in like a month.......then he had the nerve to call me high mainteneced all cause i wanted to go for a walk.......make sence notttttttttt................ | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 12/4/2005 8:52:21 PM | | hey sior yes there are woman that actually want to meet a nice guy and actually be with a nice guy i know i'm one of em.......... | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 12/4/2005 9:02:04 PM | | One thing you'll notice that girls in their 20's and 30's aren't interested in nice guys at all...it's when they are in there 40's and up do they start liking the nice guy. If you really, truly are a nice guy, the best way to act is to be indifferent. I think that is one quality us 'NICE' guys won't have a hard time picking up...when I look back on all the girls I dated, and the one I married (before she become the ex..haha) I realized I was indifferent to them..I was nice, but I didn't shower them with attention. Girls are weird up until about 39 or so. That is when they become women, and are usually very sexual at that point to..I'm only 35, so I have a few years to wait, but I am sure it will be well worth it. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 12/5/2005 6:08:27 AM |
The thing that is perplexing to the "nice guy" is that men and women define "nice guy" differently.
I'm not suggesting that "nice guys" start acting like "bad asses". Rather just understand that a woman is not necessarily attracted to their personality type. Spice things up by behaving a bit more unpredictable.
So when a woman says they are attracted to "nice guys", they don't really mean what men think they are saying. That is where the whole misunderstanding exists.
That's exactly how I feel and where I think the confusion lies. By my personal definition, we all want nice guys/girls. Who wouldn't want to be with someone nice? I tried to make this point, with suggestions, in msg 157 on the thread, "will all the nice guys stop asking why we don't want them"
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/2564222datingPostpage7.aspx
Here's something silly I had copied and sent to a friend a while ago who seems to love the so called "bad boy" image. It was an advice column and their definition! I'm sharing it just for fun reading...and not necessarily that I agree with it but ohhhhhhh brother, by their definition I certainly fell into their catagory for dating "bad boys", hell I was married to a drummer!  I bet most women who read this will also relate and by this definition have at one time or another, dated a "bad boy". lol
Enjoy!!
Dear MP,
A lot of my friends are constantly talking about bad boys. I was wondering: How can you avoid them, and what are the signs that you're dating one?
Dear Reader,
If this isn't a classic male-female problem, I don't know what is.
Ahhh, the "bad boy," or BB (as I like to call him). Unlike his evil twin -- the cold-hearted cad -- a BB is not a true jerk. He just happens to jerk you around. This is what makes a BB such a serious threat to a woman's sanity. His heart is in the right place, for about nine seconds out of every 24-hour period, and those nine seconds always seem to coincide with him smiling at you. How can you resist?
In general, bad boys are hard to spot. Lucky for you, Lifetime has teamed up with the U.S. Homeland Security in Dating Department to generate this foolproof list of warning signs that a bad boy is on your radar, so you can avoid him.
1. He's way too smooth
If he kisses you goodnight and says, "I hope to relive this moment a thousand times" or "It was my pleasure to take out the most beautiful woman in the city" you're dealing with a bad boy. Bad boys tend to be overly endowed in the charm and charisma department, and have a knack for making women feel really special. Here's the litmus test for figuring out if his moves are BB material: When he says something romantic, you believe it; when you repeat it later to your girlfriends, they fall over laughing.
2. He's got a sketchy living situation. He's vague about his address ("I'm kinda crashing with a friend for a few weeks until this great sublet comes through"). Or he lives in a studio that's unfurnished except for a mattress on the floor, one towel, and an elaborate stereo system. Or he never invites you to his place, and is always happy to go to yours. Bad boy!
3. He doesn't have a phone or won’t give out his number Or he never answers it. He may have a cell phone, but it's always off. You find yourself leaving longer and longer messages on his various voicemails. Remeber, what guy doesn’t give out his number, unless of course he’s afraid someone other than you might be around to answer it.
4. It's never his fault
A bad boy never says he's sorry (for being late, letting you down or standing you up) because, honestly, it wasn't his fault. Life is crazy! And s**t happens. Especially to him.
5. He's got lots of toys
For a guy who could carry the contents of his apartment on his back, he has an eye-opening array of, um, playthings in his bedside table drawers.
6. He's had very few relationships. When you ask him if he's ever been seriously involved with someone, he looks devastated. Yes, in fact, he did have one major relationship. They met at Tower Records and dated for almost a month. But it's OK. That was nine years ago -- and he's pretty sure he's over it.
7. He's a musician
He used to be in a band, or he's currently in a band or he's about to be in a band. He might play the drums or the sax, but most likely he plays guitar or bass. He probably drives a van, or just sold his van, or has a friend who drives a van or is about to have a friend who drives a van.
If you somehow miss all the red flags above and fall for a BB anyway, just remember the two eternal truths about bad boys: 1) They always lose interest first; and 2) When they leave, you can take comfort in the fact that whatever you're going through, several hundred million other women have been through the same thing. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 12/5/2005 6:23:49 AM | yea man, they do want nice guys.But your being to nice right? dont do everything for them.and learn how to say no sometimes.its ok to help them sometimes thats what a relatioship is about.but let her do stuff for her self too.And the biggie is YOU choose where your going out to, and let her come with you.never say, where ever you wanna go.
treat her at times and take her to the movie that she wants to see(for example)and dont be predictable.predictable is boring!!!if your to soft your not in charge and no matter what any woman says,the man should always be in charge.its in there human nature.and most of all, believe in yourself man.women know when you dont and they dont like it. | |
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Noisey
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Joined: 3/28/2005
Msg: 71 | |
| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 12/5/2005 6:57:48 AM | I agree. I've been walked on because I had nice-guyitis in the past. As long as you are nice and make sure you have a spine, then you'll be alright.
Actually I think it can destroy a relationship - in hindsight I spoiled my last girlfriend to the point that it killed the relationship. Even though it was me who dumped her, I just couldn't deal with her selfishness and her manipulative habits.
I'm an easygoing guy and she really started taking advantage of my nature. But it can't go on like that forever, even if she doesn't get bored and dump your ass, eventually you will just get sick of the monster you have created. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 12/5/2005 7:07:09 AM | | ya ,being a nice guy with a back bone doesnt happen over night either it takes practice.Just keep pluggin away man and youll get it,i guarantee. and dont forget to keep your head up | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 12/5/2005 7:22:08 AM | Well truely some wemen do want nice guys, the bad ass ones kind of attract us thow and we think, argh, maybe just maybe he will be nice , not play you or lie or hit you for that matter. they usually are "too good" to be true thow. If your a nice guy you should have no problem getting a gurl friend unless IDEA .. My friend lenny always tries to get tha gurls but they always tend to love him more as a friend im not quite sure why but even me.. i wouldnt want to ruin our friendship by having sex then in the end we dont work out.. I live across canada as well. im alright with advice tho.. but im half asleep and sick as a dog right now.. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 12/5/2005 7:48:41 AM | | that ones easy too,if a guy listens to his girls problems and concerns thats a healthy relationship, but offer no advice.guys dont give your girls advice(mainly in the first 3 to 4 months)women talk to each other about stuff and when you start doing it..your a friend now. | |
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| do any girls actually want nice guys?
Posted: 12/5/2005 8:30:41 AM | | Hi Winston877, see the movie "Shop Girl." That will give you a good idea of what women like. The nice guy becomes quiet smoothe and charming and wins out in this movie. | |
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