| Abuse
Posted: 2/24/2006 6:29:54 PM | | i was abuse to my boyfriend was always beating me but if a guy really loves u he shouldn't hit u u really need to leave before its to late my dude nearly killed mei tried talking to him but he wouldn't listen so u really need to leave cuz no girl deserves to be hit i know its gonna be hard to leave him cuz it was hard for me to leave him cuz i loved him alot so i know where u coming from | |
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Posted: 2/24/2006 7:43:53 PM | | and on top of all that hitting i was pregnant, it brings a tear to my eye cuz u shouldn't go throgh with this i wouldn't want no one to go through what i did i've been abuse for almost a year. u shouldn't go through this | |
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Posted: 2/25/2006 4:59:29 AM | | Bin there done that just want to live again, want to learn how again. | |
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Posted: 2/25/2006 1:28:59 PM | I lived for 16 years in an abusive marriage and yes, while i will get many opinions about that, no one knows what its like unless you have lived it. Hunny, let me begin by saying that love is not given by a forecful hand but by warm tender hugs and kisses. Trust me when i say that I do know no one can make the decision for you, but having experienced it, my advice is to seek greener pastures. This man needs help before the worst can happen. And it wouldnt hurt for you to find some comfort in counceling too. I am now divorced for 3 yrs. and have found friends and family to be my biggest asset in recovery...scars run very deep and loved ones are the only ones who can help heal them. If I can live through physical ,mental and emotional abuse, so can you. Im now trying very hard to learn to trust men again, but thats a long road in itself...in time though, this to will get easier. Keep the faith..... (also Roxanne) | |
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Posted: 2/25/2006 3:42:29 PM | | I have to tell you that "cajungirl4u" is absolutly right. Read up on the subject of co-dependency and you may very well find some supprising information. There is no excuse for any man to hit a woman, period. I know you may not see it now, but once you understand what is behind the co-dependence issue, you will see things differently. It may not make sense at this point but all I can say is get out of that situation and find someone who "cares". There are too many good guys out here to put up with that sort of mentality. | |
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Posted: 2/25/2006 3:55:06 PM | You have allot of support right here in this thread. It is supprising to find so many here who have been thru this. I think if you read and I mean carefully, each persons response to your question, you essentially have your answer. You see, people who participate in POF are usually realy cool and very well informed, so, read on and take the advice. :) | |
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Posted: 6/2/2006 4:24:13 PM | Roxanne....................I lived with a man that beat me proir to me marrying him.You can get counceling but you will not leave him till YOU are ready.I tried suicide,went to abuse shelters and gave up family members for him.I didnt leave him for 5years.Everyone tried to tell me to leave him but when he loved me he gave me unconditional love like NO man has ever given me.I finally got the courage to leave him .....carry scars inside and out to remind me but it has made me a stronger person.Go with your heart but sweety......don't wait till it's too late.My heart goes out to you and if you ever need to talk ,give me a holler.In times like these, too many friends are never enough.Be tough-be strong-be safe.You do deserve more in life than what has been given.................I send angels your way
to watch over you and give you courage....... | |
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Posted: 6/2/2006 4:33:38 PM | you are not a punching bag ,,you say that you love him ,is it that your scared to leave him
also you have to love yourself before ,you can really love someone else
its a recurring problem ,if you are going to stay with him make him get help,,,
but if l was you leave ,,once he knows he can get away with it ,he will do it again ..  | |
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Posted: 6/2/2006 4:52:18 PM | | Abuse in anyform should not be tolerated, If you are being hit. TEll someone, make a plan set together a kit with important documents, take only what you absolutely need leave the rest behind. When the opportunity arises leave immediately, have someone help and contact the law enforcment agencies if you know things will get hairy, if the person has weapons in the house alert the police as well that way, if things turn for the worse they will not walk into a possible deadly situation unprepared. | |
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Posted: 12/12/2006 2:55:22 PM | Hello Roxanne,
This is the stage you're going through right now."Tough Love".You don't want to let him go...
Girl I believe in you and you are so much more then that.I can testify to this statement because I to am a victim of a serious domestic violence relationship.It started when I was in high school in the year of 1999-2000.I was 14 going on 15 years old when the beatings started.Start now by slowly detaching from him.Speak your mind.Try to escape.It's 2006 now and I still take notes in my journal on coping with my abuse.I'm even thinking about writting him a strong letter saying that I am a strong woman now and he can't bring me down anymore.Hold your high so that he can recognize it and you deserve to find you a faithful respectful man.Let me know how things go.Abused victims sometimes feel ugly afterwards,we are beautiful.No matter what.They are the ugly hoes.Take it easy and let me know how things go. | |
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Posted: 12/12/2006 3:31:09 PM | My heart goes out to you..it truly does. I know that you say that you love him, but I don't think that is so, I think that you do care about him. I think you keep you are confusing love for security/comfort . What I mean by this is that you are afraid to make the change you know you need in your life. Sometimes people stay in situations even when they know that they shouldn't be there because they are afraid of the unknown and change and instead they stay where it comfortable even if it mean risking their lives.Trust me taking a leap into the unknown a much better and safer place for you. Please start focusing your love on yourself and not him he is not worthy of you or your love...You need to start believing in yourself. If I could jump into your shoes I would show him what it feels like to be take the beats and make him feel what you feel. | |
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Posted: 12/12/2006 3:56:02 PM | Sweetie, please, please, PLEASE get out of this relationship now. Listen to what we are all saying PLEASE!
I was in a physically & mentally abusive relationship - one evening he pushed me to the ground, kicked me and kicked me & kicked me with steel tip boots on to the point I was so badly hurt & couldn't walk properly. He then put his hands over my mouth & nose and tried to suffocate me then he dragged me out of the house by my hair & left me sobbing on the grass , then he Kicked a huge dent in my brand new car. I really thought I loved this man - we were engaged so guess what - silly stupid me forgave him when he promised it would never happen again & how sorry he was & we stayed together for a bit longer but suprise suprise it only got worse. He threatened to break my wrist, told me he was gonna rip my lungs out (I could go on forever!).
Eventually I found the strength to get out of the relationship, it wasn't easy coz I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with him but a few years on I can see clearly now that no way in the world did he love me. He had very deep issues and I believe he tried to hurt me & be-little me to make himself look more like a man but really he was the biggest coward going. A true man who really loves their partner would walk away if they felt like boiling over. You absolutely do NOT need to be in a relationship like this - you will survive without him.
Wishing you all the strength in the world x | |
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Posted: 12/12/2006 6:51:35 PM | There was a woman in england who loved a man that was simular to the one your talking about. He was extremely jealous and beat her all the time. no one new, not even her parents when she was bruised she would simply stay away from everyone she lost all of her friends because of it as she would push them away when they tried to help her. She had two beautiful children one was a miracle because every time she got pregnant he would beat the crap out of her and kick her in the stomach till she wasn't pregnant. he even filled the vacuum with water while one of the boys was waiting to be born. He still has the scare on his arm, the same arm she used trying to vacuum the house.
They left the country and came to Canada. when the boys were very young. He continued to beat her. she got a gun to protect herself and one day she chased him around the house trying to shoot him, she missed, and he sold the gun. she got a dog to sick on him when ever he was abusive, he shot the dog with the gun before selling the gun. When he started turning the abuse on her babies she decided to take a self defense course to protect herself and her children. so he would tie her up in the closet with fishing wire when he left the house for work. In the end he abducted her children and left no trace of where he was.
she never found her children for 8 years.... and when she did they weren't the same. it took her babies another 25 years to even begin to live. I don't know your situation and why you stay... I'm not going to judge you or tell you what to do. but listen to me when i say it won't get any better and in fact will get worse. How bad will it have to get till you do what you need to do to be safe? this was a personal story I'm the boy with the scar. I've seen things people that only you and me could imagine and others who have gone through similar things. I'll spare you the gory details because I'm sure you have your own. I hope you make the right choice for yourself.
crazylilting | |
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Posted: 12/12/2006 8:54:09 PM | | get out..but u need help doing this get counseling..and get away from him..if u stay ..u invite more abuse... | |
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| heres my theory
Posted: 12/13/2006 6:43:20 AM | | if you love him let him go and he will notice that the way hes been acting was inappropriate show him you dont need that kind of abuse cuz you really dont and its extreamely unhealthy for a relationchip im matt and im single lol | |
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| Griffin !!
Posted: 2/14/2007 11:45:00 AM | You are just SO many place on the Internet. I'm getting carple tunnel just looking at you!
Kisses! | |
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Posted: 2/14/2007 11:52:58 AM | Leave.
In fact, I'm prone to assume this post is bogus, the answer is so obvious. If it's not, I suggest you read it and pretend it was written by your little sister. What would you tell her?
Good. Now do it. | |
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Posted: 2/14/2007 12:56:37 PM | I can not believe that any women or man has to ask advice on this issue, leave now before it becomes worst. Trust me it does, yesterday would have been my mother’s birthday and it also the 2nd anniversary of her death. Yeah she was killed by her finance the day before Valentines Day. Does that scream true love to you? I hope not, you can change things for yourself; there is so much help out there for people in your situation. Please don't let yourself become another sad statistic.
There are already plenty of those! | |
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Posted: 2/14/2007 4:57:56 PM | | I read your post and it made me grit my teeth and clench my fists. I have been in an abusive relationship as well. At the time, it feels like you can't live without this person. I would agree that it is a co-dependent relationship. I'm sure he probably not only hits you but calls you names and tells you that no other man will ever love you. It will be hard but believe me you can leave his sorry ass behind. I would advise some councelling if and when you do. Any good relationship is based on respect and trust. It doesn't matter how many times you make love and think it will all be better. It will only get worse. Please get as far away from this guy as you can. Get a restraining order and stick to your guns. You can do it girl! It's not easy for anyone to come forward and talk about abuse, especially if the person has experienced it first hand. Please don't take it lightly! | |
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Posted: 2/15/2007 10:25:58 AM | | your boyfriend has major problems honey. You need to get away from him as soon as you can. I too spent 9 years with a guy like that and I had his baby. I loved him with all my heart and it was the hardest thing I ever did , but I left. Before I left though he took everything from me , he took my money , my home, my integrity,and guess what? he loved me too , just like your guy.He loved to beat me and torture me, he talked down to me and treated me like I was nothing. Then when he saw what he did he gave the most love and respect a woman could ask for. Its the circle of abuse. Get help soon. I have my son with me and he hardly ever comes to see him. It`s all about him, he doesn`t know how to love like you do. I see him sometimes and I just feel sympathy for him and his new girlfreind. She now goes through it. Its not you , its him! And you can`t fix him. No one can tell you what to do but I urge you to look deep inside and save yourself. | |
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Posted: 2/15/2007 5:20:16 PM | | It gets worse...get out now...you will find love again.believe me....dont stay loving him until he damages you beyond repair... | |
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Posted: 2/16/2007 4:40:08 AM | you have stockhome syndrome, its where you depend on your boyfriend and any act of kindness you percieve is treated like its amplified and you love him even more when really he is just showing he has power over you by pretending to be mercyful
you need to get out of it now if he truely loved you he wouldnt beat you, your boyfriend is a coward and needs a damn good hiding for what he is doing to you
you need to go to the police or it will get worse and eventually you could end up being seriously injured or dead if you have children think of what kind of environment the are being bought up in
apart from that your wasting your life away | |
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Posted: 2/16/2007 5:05:43 PM | Hey sweetie, I know exactly what ur going through. I've been in an abusive relationship. i know u think u love him. I felt the exact same way, but it wasn't love it was me feeling scared. While i was with him i allianated anyone that i could trust because abusers do this, they try and pull u away from ur support system. Therefore if u don't have them he can do whatever he likes and u have no one to turn to. Alot of it can be pride,,,,not wanting people u know to see that it didn't work. Men that abuse make u feel like u are worthless and no one will love u like they do, ( that kind of love u don't need)
I suggest u call a friend that u can trust, and stay there, but do it when he's not home so u won't get hurt anymore. Then u need to get a restraining order/pretection order.
Don't stay, hittting someone is not showing love, he's making u feel worse about urself and the longer u stay the harder it is to leave.
Good luck hun,,,,, | |
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Posted: 2/16/2007 7:08:28 PM | Is no chanse to change him - insted listen that he loves you start to thinking
Man who love his woman cant hurt her -can't !!!
Hi dont love you and you are just naive
I was naive to in my life like you | |
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Posted: 7/27/2007 1:45:33 AM | | You are absolutely right on. These jerks do not deserve to be called a man. A real man does not solve his relationship problems with violence. If talk does not work, get counselling. If that does not help, walk away, and DO NOT come back. I was lucky in my choice of a woman, and angel with a perpetual smile, a hug and kiss at the door every night, until cancer took her. The pain was unbearable. There are better guys out there, ladies, and you deserve better. Nobody is put here to be beaten, stepped on, treated like a slave. These guys are cowards and control freaks, and the only people they can push around is females. I once saw a guy slapping a girl badly, I spun him around and smashed a fist in his face. Told him, "How do you like it?" He just stood there, too gutless to retaliate. They are bullies, ladies, get far away from them. It will not get better. Oh yeah, his girlfriend...she jumped up to comfort him. You ladies need to get more strength. I have seen a few women with abusive men, and I have never understood why some of the best looking woman tie up with the worst jerks. It is assault with violence, report it, press charges, put his sorry ass in jail. YOU cannot change him. | |
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