| How young is too young?
Posted: 10/12/2007 2:27:59 AM | This reminds me of an episode of 'Friends' where Monica dated and subsequently slept with a ...uh, boy whom she thought was a senior in college, who in fact was a senior in highschool. As you can imagine, good times were NOT had by all.
Anyhoo, in order to answer your first question, I would have to repeat basically everybody else in this thread and say "age is just a number" and so on. Unless they're younger than 18 (16 in some places, I hear), of course.
Does it also work the other way around?
If you mean: Are older men reluctant to date younger woman? I'm pretty confident the answer would be a resounding "No".
If you mean: Do younger men feel weird dating older women? That really depends on the guy, to be blatantly obvious. Some prefer the company of older woman for the simple fact that they tend to have a solid head and they know what they want (and aren't afraid to get it).  Others, however, might avoid mature woman and go with younger girls because it makes them feel more dominant in the relationship. | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 10/12/2007 3:49:53 AM | Why does this thread remind me of that old joke where the one guy says to the other,
"Yesterday my girlfriend called me a damn pedophile", the other fellow asks "why's that"? "I don't know, but I thought that was a damn big word for a nine year old".
I guess my perverted logic sees this as a bit of grey area when it comes to that "age is just a number" side of it. Just because someone is old enough or mature enough to understand things, doesn't mean they're experienced enough to not be easily manipulated by predatious types. | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 10/12/2007 3:51:55 AM | If I reverse this and say I have dated women the same age, over ten years older and ten years younger.
Your view of dating changes with time as does the defining nature of the relationship; long term, fling, friend, etc.
Age is just a number and does everyone else's views really matter? Its what is mutually felt by those involved that really counts.
Yes it is hard to relate to a group of 20 year olds granted but to coin an overused phrase, variety is the splice of life. | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 10/12/2007 4:03:05 AM | | Myself, I consider any woman under 30 to be too young. I might go as low as 28, but that is an exception. | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 10/12/2007 4:49:42 AM | My POV: As long as she's legal, it's not the age on her passport that matters, it's the age she acts. If she acts like a child, I'm not into child abuse. If she acts like she's fun, but doesn't get into trouble, then she's good for me.
Do I care if she's a lot younger? Only if she acts like a spoiled child, because that is child abuse. Do I care what other people think? I used to. Then I discovered that if she was 40, and looked 40, but looked as attractive as a 20-year-old, I got the same abuse as if she WAS 20. So, people don't care how old she is. They care how "hot" she is, and how much they want to sleep with her. Do I care about people who think I shouldn't be with someone immature? Definitely. Do I care about people who think I shouldn't be with someone they want to use for casual sex? No way in hell. | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 10/12/2007 5:36:22 AM | I dont want to come off as being judgmental here. However, there have been studies on this for years now and I'm not going to flood a simple subject like this with all of it. So let me try summarize it best to my abilty.
If someone dates a much younger or older person than themselves, its usually to cover up something intrinsically lacking or attempting to fill a gap that is missing. For example, dating older people is usually a sign of some parental issue that was lacking in that person's life early on. On the other hand, dating someone much younger (and when I say much I mean 40/20) there is probably some insecurity or fear trying to be covered up or conquered.
Dating someone younger for sex, ok...I dont hold that against someone, but don't kid yourself that you're looking for a real relation with someone who really is not your equal. Its just safe and perhaps fun. Just admit your not looking for a real relationship but a thrill or to fill something lacking inside yourself. Either way, its without concern for the other. Then I hear the "as long as its legal" argument. Well, what would happen if you found yourself in a culture that dating 11 year olds was legal. Would your age limit drop from 18 to 11 now? Just a thought to ponder.
To me its predation in most people. Its selfish and its easy prey that makes it something to pursue. Now Im not putting people who date older person's in the same category. They are trying to find something missing. But the other way is much more exploitive in nature.
It reminds me of when a 250lb guy goes around picking fights with a 125lb weakling. Its not just cowardly, its trying to deal with insecurities by taking a safe way to mask it.
Or like when my friends would kid me because I wouldn't go hunting with a high powered rifle to take out Bambi. I would tell them, why don't we go hunt bear and only use weapons we can make with our own hands. Of course they would say, "are you nuts". So its really not hunting, its predation cause its easier to go and kill rather than to have a real experience. I can say the same for these types of relationships.
Oh and btw, if my 20 year old daughter ever came home with a 45 year old guy, he better be ready to prove that he's still a real man. | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 11/6/2007 11:01:57 PM | Well, I could kidnap Jared and keep him for myself...
lol
and he would be happy as h*ll... | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 11/6/2007 11:51:03 PM | | Well, when my wife and i split, the first date i had was with a girl who was 19 an i was 36. i was very worried we would have nothing in common and it would be a crappy date. It was quite the opposite.....great conversation all night,common beliefs, we had a wonderful time. Unfortunately things never progressed. She was pregnant at the time and wound up getting back with her ex......much to my chagrin. | |
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iamted
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Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 34 | |
| How young is too young?
Posted: 11/7/2007 12:52:07 AM | i recently dated a gal that was 3 years younger than me, a first for me in that she was younger, it was horrible all she wanted to do was party and go out everynight. it wouldve been fine if we could afford that but who can? all i got out of it was it helped to reconfirm that women in their 20s are living in a fantasy world, and they need to grow up.
all my life i found my self hanging around older kids, so for me its not strange to date an older lady, i can see how it would be strange for them since this is kind of a new area in society that has been predominatly the older man dating the younger lady. when that first became a big thing there seemed to be somewhat of a buzz surounding that but in time it passed, so will this.
in my relationships i have found that if there is a 10+ year difference, it does seem that the lady is trying to relive her youth through me, and being that im not really into the things that my peers would be into that always fails, so i say dont go that young but a 5 - 8 year difference is nothing to be concerned with.
as far as sex is concerned, its just as hit in miss as it is in any relationship. older doesnt neccisarily mean better, just that they want bad sex more often. | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 11/7/2007 1:00:46 AM | | I used to go for the "four up, four down" rule--being with someone who's four years older or four years younger. Now I like to be with someone who makes me comfortable. Like around 49 or 50. My younger son's father was 6 years younger than me--and I felt like I was "robbing the cradle". I was in my early 30's! No big deal now. (For the younger, 35-37 is best for me.) | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 11/7/2007 5:14:21 AM | | I AGREE, AGE IS A NUMBER, HOWEVER I FIND YOUNGER MEN HAVE MORE RESPECT THAN MEN MY AGE. A LOT OF OLDER MEN SEEM TO USE THE SLANG WE DISCOVERED IN 6TH GRADE. I DATE UP TO 20 YEARS YOUNGER...NICE...SO WE ARE TALKING GUYS MY KIDS' AGE...MY KIDS WANT TO PUT THE AGE OF THE YOUNGEST GUY I DATE ON MY TOMBSTONE...OH DEAR, LET'S HOPE THEY DON'T CHARGE FOR EXTRA LETTERING. | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 11/7/2007 6:55:01 AM | Well, I'm 54 (yeah, I know - old f*rt) and back into the dating scene again after many years of marriage and it's pretty daunting. Before this time, whenever I was single I tended to date women who were a little older than I was to several years older. I had never dated anyone more than 3-4 years younger than I. Now though, I find that most - not all, but most - of the ladies who are my age or older act... well, OLD. And though I'm now disabled and can't do a lot of the things I could do when I was younger, I've had quite a few comments from ladies several (5-15) years younger that I neither look nor act my age. I figure the looks comments were just being kind but if the way most of the ladies my age act is any indicator, I would tend to agree with the comments on the way I act. I am wanting to enjoy the company of someone with whom I am still able to converse with without an interpreter, but who still has a bit of life left in them still. Really never having rowed in these waters before makes it all new to me but I'd figure that while nothing is ever carved in stone, for me, an age group of 40 to 45 & up might be about the right range for this. However a LOT of the ladies in this age are facing the same problems I am with the guys their age getting stodgy and are looking to go a bit younger themselves. This makes it a bit more difficult but I'm sure I'll get some nice lady to give me a shot at filling the vacancy in their life because: Hey! - I have good references. LOL
airedale53 / london, kentucky, USA | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 11/7/2007 6:59:24 AM | I can't believe I'm going to post this but...
I was recently in a relationship with a gourgeous 21-year old catalog model (and yes ladies, I know how that sounds but its true and helps to paint the picture). Anyway, we went out quite a few times, the sex was absolutely incredible, she was actually very intelligent with a level head on her shoulders. Eventually, we really did run out of things to talk about. For instance my pop-culture infused jokes were lost on her. She was dealing with issues in her life that while I understood and sympathized with, were things I had gone through myself 15-20 years ago and had no interest in revisiting.
So outside the sex, there were just too many differences in experience to really make it last. We still talk and I think we both learned a lot about ourselves. Now I've dated 27-30 year olds and this wasn't a problem. I think for most people there is just so much change occurring during that 20-26 year range that most folks don't have a grasp on who they really are until they've gone through it. (starting a REAL career, owning a home, real responsibilities, etc, etc.)
So now I actually prefer slightly older ladies (29-40). (Did I just say that?! 2 years ago I would have never thought it.)
Now having told my story, if you'd like to have a great, sexy, fun but probably short-term thing; then I say have at it and have some fun. Life's too short not to. | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 11/7/2007 8:55:25 AM | I know, I can't believe it sometimes either. In fact I used to have a rule that I thought really hit home and lived by. It went something like this:
When a guy is 14 he's really turned on by 20 year old girls.
When a guy is 20 he's really turned on by 20 year old girls.
When a guy is 30 he's really turned on by 20 year old girls.
When a guy is 40 he's really turned on by 20 year old girls.
My friends chided me and said, "What would you speak to her about?" My reply, "Speak? Who wants her to speak and ruin the fantasy?" (just joking ladies)
You get the idea...but it turns out that ultimately we were both right. Dating someone much younger can still be fun though. | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 11/7/2007 9:05:29 AM | I disagree.
I like older woman, and don't understand woman that won't date men younger then them. I have all the qualities of someone twice my age. I think stereotypes of all kinds are unfortunate.
Personally, I'd only be willing to swing about 6-7 years in either direction. The more mature the better, regardless of age. | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 11/7/2007 9:17:18 AM | I feel it is just another number, and have no problems being approached by them.
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 11/8/2007 6:11:55 AM | I am married to a woman of 35 I am 45. She first felt I was too old. SHe changed her mind quickly after chatting then loved the sex. Only hing is her Mom is 59 and she is also a beautiful lady who is in great shape. Not many marbles in the head but if I just want sex hey I would. Just the thought after to keep seeing her. On the other side of the coin I would still do a young lady/girl of 18 anf have also been flirted with numerous times by at least 3 around that age who I see about 3 times a week at a store near me. Hey age don't matter as long as its legal and the person is mature. Like I said earlier I would probably do Mom inlaw but the marble thing keeps me thinking...lol
Later Roamer | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 11/8/2007 6:52:39 AM | | I've never been attracted to men younger than myself...I think the mature man has so much more to offer in terms of life experience and of course between the sheets...but never say never x | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 11/8/2007 7:09:39 AM | aaahh, i have major issues with someone being younger than me. as in, you can't even be a couple of months younger...lol..
my moms trying to get me out of this, my aunt is setting me up with her 22 yr old neighbour soon. i met him once briefly, he doesn't LOOK 22...maybe i won't remember once im out...
i've chatted up men who are a few years older, only to be told im too young. (felt like one of the The Littles) LOL no biggie. | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 11/8/2007 7:13:15 AM | If we can't even hold an intelligent conversation longer than 1 minuite.... she's too young.
soo.. that would make her... um... over 25?
ok then. 25 being the youngest.  | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 11/8/2007 9:09:55 AM | | OMG...I know what you are feeling fun Luvin.....of course it doesn't help that I have a 17 yr old at home..its like..like...dating one of his friends...ewwwwe....So now when I am asked they have to be at least 30 for me to say yes. I stick to the golden age of 30 no less..... | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 11/8/2007 12:36:37 PM | | Given the statistical facts that women live longer than men, I have decided to change my 'looking' for a man to someone younger than me. 18 year olds? hey... is that robbing the cradle? I'm not sure how emotionally and intellectually comfortable I would be in such age range... hmmm. | |
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| How young is too young?
Posted: 11/8/2007 12:50:11 PM |
Given the statistical facts that women live longer than men, I have decided to change my 'looking' for a man to someone younger than me. 18 year olds?
At your age, I wouldn't worry about it too much. The likelyhood of finding someone that you're going to spend the next 60 years with at 24, especially an 18 YO, is extremely slim. Plus, if you do find that extra-special someone, you'll be just as happy to be able to spend 40-45 years with them. It's the time you DO spend with them that is important, not the amount of time you could CONCEIVABLY spend with them.
It's going to be EXTREMELY rare that you find an 18 YO man that is emotionally ready to commit to you for the next 60 years. Both of you will change a lot in the next 10 years. | |
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