| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 10/30/2007 7:21:13 PM | i'm certainly not a barbie doll...but i am carrying a bit of extra weight....and i certainly don't lie about it.
i've seen many guys profiles that call themselves average or athletic when its pretty obvious that they have some extra. just be honest...ok??
is that asking too much?  | |
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 10/30/2007 10:54:06 PM | I wish they had something between a few extra and bbw. That's where I'd be. I'm a good 15 pounds heavier than my normal/comfortable weight. I'm nowhere near bbw, though.
To me:
Average: normal body weight, but not especially toned nor flabby. No, not the average american weight (40 pounds overweight or whatever it is now.) It's BODY TYPE. Your body shape.
A few extra pounds: I'd say up to 30 pounds MAYBE (only because there isnt anything between this and BBW)
Athletic: No, this doesn't just mean you work out. I work out. I'm still a fatty. This is referring to BODY TYPE. Slender or buff, toned, well defined muscles from being active. No extra weight. Otherwise, you're a few pounds over.
I work out 3-6 days a week. My body shape nowhere near qualifies for athletic.
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 10/31/2007 3:28:09 AM | I put average in my profile because...for a woman who is 41, had three kids in the last 15 years...I am average. I am not svelte..never was even before kids. I have hips..I have a pooch on my tummy from childbirth...I am just the average woman down the street who has too much to do and not enough hours in the day.
Do I take care of myself and try to eat healthy..most days. I won't deny my addiction to chocolate, but in moderation.
So here's to the average woman/guy! | |
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 10/31/2007 10:47:10 AM | Average = a person who has about the normal/ideal percentage of body fat
a few extra pounds = a person who has some excess fat, but not a large amount of excess fat
I also agree with the people who stated that they should be another category between a few extra pounds and BBW. | |
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 10/31/2007 4:19:51 PM | I put average in my profile because...for a woman who is 41, had three kids in the last 15 years...I am average. I am not svelte..never was even before kids. I have hips..I have a pooch on my tummy from childbirth...I am just the average woman down the street who has too much to do and not enough hours in the day.
That's what I was trying to point out. Your reasoning for your body shape is irrelevant. The question is just specifying your body shape. Do you have some weight to lose? Even if you are today's average body type (overweight) you still don't have an average body shape. You have "a few pounds" (or bbw).
People say "Well I'm average for being 50..." or "I'm average for having had 5 kids.." That's irrelevant. When someone looks at you, they don't know (nor do they care) your reason for your body shape. All they see IS your body shape. So if you have some weight to lose, whether you're 50 or 20 have 6 kids or none, you're either A Few Extra or BBW. Just like there are thin 50 year olds.
p.s. I haven't looked at your profile to know one way or the other, and I'm not speaking about you specifically. | |
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 11/1/2007 2:25:19 AM |
That's what I was trying to point out. Your reasoning for your body shape is irrelevant. The question is just specifying your body shape. Do you have some weight to lose? Even if you are today's average body type (overweight) you still don't have an average body shape. You have "a few pounds" (or bbw).
Oh I get that piscescoda...but the whole process of describing yourself is so subjective...no one can know how every person is going to interpret the meanings for each category. So, I just went with what it means to me. Easy Peasy
And nope, didn't think you were talking about me specifically. No worries. | |
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 11/1/2007 1:40:30 PM | You know what's funny? I've posted and deleted, posted and deleted -- well, you get the picture. I've taken my full body shot off and then put it back on countless times. Why? That is a good question. If someone doesn't want to meet me because of the way my body looks or they prefer someone very thin and "in shape" then I'm cool with that. My face shots do not reflect what my body looks like, and really I would describe myself as having a few extra pounds. It's just my few extra pounds are spread out: On my tummy, my arms, my back side, my chest. I would imagine lots of men would say I'm fat. (Now is the time you view my profile to see.) No one is perfect. You could look gorgeous in your pictures and have the personality of a wet dish towel. It's all relative if you ask me. Beautiful is as beautiful does! It's all how you feel about yourself. Hold your head high and never let them see you sweat!
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 11/1/2007 5:03:54 PM | To the guys that say curvy women are just fat, please die a painful slow death.
Other than that, I am actually curvy -- its how my body is. I have full hips, a nice sized ass, and a large bust. I have no shame. Its how I've always been and I refuse to conform to society's definition of beauty.
I'm pretty damn proud of my womanly figure :). I always list a few extra pounds. It filters out the shallow jerks that only care about body type.  | |
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 11/1/2007 5:43:46 PM | This is a subject that has definately run through my mind of late.
I was til this year sitting at 277lbs for about the last 6 years. This year I made a vow to loose weight, have been pretty successful.
Despite the fact I inline skate on a regular basis my weight was pretty constant until I starting watching calories at the beginning of this year, and have dropped 30lbs so far.
I still consider myself average though, but edging closer to physically fit. Belly fat is difficult to loose even in someone fit.
Some folks probably consider me overweight, but I am pretty proud of myself so far.
Frank | |
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 11/1/2007 5:49:57 PM |
I'm pretty damn proud of my womanly figure :). I always list a few extra pounds. It filters out the shallow jerks that only care about body type.
Shallow? Such a misused word. What about the guy who adores your "womanly figure" but isn't at all attracted to mine because it lacks "curves"? Is he shallow then? What if he's attracted to women shaped like you, but not a morbidly obese woman? Shallow?
You're not filtering out "shallow jerks." You're filtering out perfectly reasonable men who are attracted to something else. It's not the same thing. | |
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 11/1/2007 8:22:23 PM |
I'm pretty damn proud of my womanly figure :). I always list a few extra pounds. It filters out the shallow jerks that only care about body type.
I'm sure that you have rejected men due to physical appearance. Would you consider yourself to be shallow? Probably not. Therefore men who aren't attracted to overweight women aren't shallow either. | |
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 11/2/2007 2:59:26 AM | I see a lot of ladies taking pics of themselves with their arm extended holding the camera.
LOOK, if your arm is bigger than your neck then you aren't curvy, you are a biggun, and you need to put BBW. Of course, a lot of the women in question can't bring themselves to put BBW, so they instead opt for Few Extra Pounds. Personally, I do not communicate with those that classify themselves inaccurately. Why? 'Cause I value honesty and so being BBW doesn't necessarily rule out communication. To me this is about principle - not jiggly stuff.
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 11/2/2007 3:28:28 AM | in my profile im honest i say my weight right up front ...personally i dont care what people think i used to be a 36 24 36 and i had just as much attention from guys as i do being twice that size... yes i would like to be smaller only for vanities sake fitting into clothes they only make in smaller sizes ...but my health is better than my friends who starve themselves and im not wrinkled like my friends who spend all night at the gym that being said .... when men get upset about my weight i usually look at them and state well when the bald spot, paunch(beer belly) grey hair and missing teeth disappear give me a call....i ve got a lot more to offer than a number on a weight scale. | |
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 11/2/2007 4:36:25 AM | | I personally am very active, and work out. I do it for no other reason than that it makes me feel good. I don't judge anyone, but I do want to be with someone that shares my interests and lifestyle. So I'd like people to be upfront about it. | |
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 11/2/2007 4:40:45 AM | | I seldom participate in forums but this one got my attention. Ladies and gentlemen, a scale is a guide. Healthy is determined by body fat percentage. Let your mirror be your guide. When someone says they are 20-30 lbs overweight, by who's standard? If yo take off 20-30 lbs does that mean slim or average? I've known some who tip the scales a bit much and who were in good shape becasue of low bodyfat and I've known others who were light on the scale and a pile of fat. Maybe it's time to get out the ole tape measure. If the difference between the waist and hips and/or chest is decreasing, you're probably putting on extra fat weight. | |
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 11/3/2007 9:06:13 AM | | I'm the same as you. I think that its just part of human nature to want to be accepted for what we are, but afraid of responses for what we're NOT. I'm guilty of always having that nagging question in the back of my mind "What would so&so think" before I do something. Even something as simple as changing the furniture around in my living room sometimes, lol. | |
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 11/14/2007 6:41:26 AM | It's too bad we have to label ourselves or try and push ourselves into some type of category. I believe many of the things I've read here are correct. Here are a few things I believe:
- Many men who read "A few extra pounds", especially when there is no picture or only a head shot will automatically assume that the woman is quite a bit overweight. If women don't want this to be the case, then they should put a full body shot in the pictures. (Yes, I'm sure the reverse is also true)
- There are PLENTY of people who are interested in others who are not the "Hollywood ideal". I know that rejection is no fun, but would you walk into a crowded room and expect EVERYONE to be attracted to you?
- Most of us want to be loved or desired by others. But we need to remind ourselves that it won't happen. I sleep much better with the realization that there's nothing wrong with people having preferences for certain body types and certain looks. If mine isn't it, then I'm okay with that.
Personally, I'm attracted to average to athletic body types ...And yes, I really did say "average" where that means "x" amount over ideal weight. I have no idea how much that might be, or even what "ideal" weight is. I don't consult charts. Healthy can come in lots of sizes. I just like what I like. I don't think anyone ever advocates lowering out sights on what we want. No one wants to settle. I think, though, that everyone wishes that they be given a chance to know someone based on more than what they "look" like in a two-dimensional picture on a computer screen. But we need to remember what the medium is... Internet dating is what it is. If people get too hung up on the problems associated with this way of trying to find someone, then they should also look to other ways to meet people. I really think the best way is in some type of social group setting where there are similar interests. (Not sure drinking in a bar actually qualifies for this, though...) Get out in the world. Interact. Keep typing at the computer. Just don't get hung up on the negative side of all of this. Just keep smilin'!  | |
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 11/14/2007 7:35:45 AM | If you know that you're over your ideal weight, and you already feel guilty about it... then put a Few Extra.. It's what I did.
Granted, in everyone's eyes, you may be average, hell.. even thin.. That's what pics are there for. I never look at the "body type" until after I see the image. If I see an obviously obese person, and then see "Average", I know that this is a person that will provide me with at least 5 minutes of laughing.
I'm pretty sure most people ignore that as well as long as they can see the person for themselves. | |
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 11/14/2007 7:36:56 AM | I have seen this over and over, and I think perhaps the confusion is that what WOMEN think is average, few extra pounds, or BBW is different from what men do?
So, please....
Can you maybe be a little more explicit, in the best way you know how? I know its difficult because POF won't let you post a link to a picture here....but could you perhaps distinguish with some television star bodies as to what you'd consider to be:
PERFECT (not to be confused with AVERAGE)
ATHLETIC
AVERAGE
FEW EXTRA POUNDS
BBW
That would help us a lot to stop putting the wrong things on our profile. I think only SOME of the time are the women specifically setting out to dupe you. I think MOST of the time they truly think they ARE the body type they are posting.
Help please?
Here is what I would put for the above - please realize you may have to google these people to see if you agree:
Perfect: Rachel Ray, Brittany Spears, J Lo
Average: Oprah, Kirstie Allie
Athletic: Any female who participates in the Olympics or ballet and has no boobs
Few Extra Pounds: Me
BBW: Rosie O Donnell, Queen Latifah, Oprah BEFORE she lost weight
Men, I think, suffer from the same confusion, because many of us women totally disagree with the body styles you put on YOUR profiles....for example, many of you call yourself "athletic".....when all that means TO YOU is you have no fat on your body. To us, that means SKINNY...or WIMPY. "Athletic" to most women means you work out at a gym quite frequently, have a six pack, have big abs, have big muscly arms.....It does NOT mean that anyone who has no fat on their body or is not overweight by medical insurance standards is "athletic". And many runners, although fit, are not quite what we women always think of as "athletic".....runners usually have big strong legs and no body fat, but totally wimpy upper bodies. BY MANY WOMEN'S STANDARDS.....
A man who cannot see his penis over the top of his stomach will often say he is "average", when in fact that can be anything from "few extra pounds" to "Big or tall". And guys? If you have a waist size that is larger than your inseam? You probably are a Big and Tall, especially if you are NOT tall!
Lets face it, POF has some REALLY SUCKY BODY DESCRIPTIONS!
Here's my take on men:
Perfect: Will Smith, most football players that are not tackles
Athletic: Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, most football and hockey players except tackles
Athletic to the extreme, as in unreal - if they were green, they'd be the Incredible Hulk...: Any of the WWF
Average: Either of the doctors on Nip and Tuck
Few Extra Pounds: Usually any male actor over the age of 35 EXCEPT Johnny Depp - who basically qualifies as skinny and wimpy (although adorable) - man boobs come to mind....
Big and Tall (although the tall part is crap) - Larry the Cable Guy, A lot of the Male Rappers, Most sports casters over the age of 40, all the tackles on football teams, sumo wrestlers, anyone who has a neck the same size as their face and their chin sorta melts into it.
Ok..now your turns! HELP US OUT HERE SO WE CAN STOP MISLEADING YOU!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 11/14/2007 7:44:51 AM | | "Average: Oprah, Kirstie Allie"? Oh please! They are not average - they are at best a few extra pounds. They are both way over the weight limit for something that would be considered healthy for them..... | |
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 11/14/2007 8:05:08 AM | | Sexual chemistry is important. I am probably the pickiest guy in the world. I have never dated anybody under a size 4 or over a size 6. When I was looking for women to date, I always limited my search to average or athletic. For the most part, the women I met were pretty honest in their descriptions, but I learned from the few mistakes that anybody that is reluctant to tell you what size they wear or to video-chat is pretty risky. I am extremely amused by the "shallow jerk" references. If you have no concern about your weight, then why are you listing yourself as "average" if you're 5'2" and 150 pounds? Perhaps many are confused and think it's what is "average" for their family. Although the weight of people has increased significantly in the past decade, they also consider 6 out of 10 to be obese. If you think "I could lose 2 pounds" you can probably classify yourself as average. If the reality is "I need to lose 20 pounds", you're at least "a few pounds over-weight"! | |
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| Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 11/14/2007 8:20:38 AM | Why can't you go by BMI?
I would look at a chart, find out what my 'average' BMI is and as an option can go down one step if very muscular (MUST work out a lot for this option), and see where you lie.
Ex: I am between 5'3" and 5'4" and weigh 110 lbs. and am very muscular. This puts me at a BMI of 19 or 20 and since I am very muscular and work out with weights and run a lot I can choose to go down one to 18 or 19.
I would say a BMI of 18-21 would be thin and/or athletic. A BMI of 22-24 would be average or occasionally athletic in some situations, a BMI of 25-29 would be a few pounds overweight, and 30 and above would be BBW.
For myself, I would consider 107 to 120 lbs. as thin or athletic, 121 to 139 lbs. as average, 140 to 159 as a few pounds overweight, and anything 160+ as BBW. I did this averaging out 63 and 64 inches tall since I'm in between.
There are body builders and athletes who don't quite fit, but this would work for MOST people. | |
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