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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 2/26/2006 3:21:46 AM |
The state statutes and codes aren't any secret. The information is available, and although I haven't checked, my guess is the Texas statutes and codes are online. I just don't see that it's the state's responsibility to make sure all its citizens understand what their rights are.
It's one thing to read the code, but case law determines how the code is interpreted and applied.
And I'm betting you are either a member of the legal profession or some how tied to it.
Funny I didn't mention the word "secret", which is odd of why you would use that word to decribe Heraclitus’ dictum that, “A hidden connection is more powerful than an apparent one”. Becareful miladybug, because if you are a member of that profession, then you know as well as I do that the "Rule of Law" does not apply to the family court system, something that constitutional lawyers know very well. | |
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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 2/26/2006 5:59:33 AM |
And I'm betting you are either a member of the legal profession or some how tied to it. Funny I didn't mention the word "secret", which is odd of why you would use that word to decribe Heraclitus’ dictum that, “A hidden connection is more powerful than an apparent one”. Becareful miladybug, because if you are a member of that profession, then you know as well as I do that the "Rule of Law" does not apply to the family court system, something that constitutional lawyers know very well.
You're right, stilladad; you didn't spefically mention 'secret,' but to me that implication was there. | |
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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 2/27/2006 12:27:22 AM | | Well then, we'er on the same page, i know some 10's who have married 2's, and there happy, and i love, so he was wrong, 10's marry 2's. No it's not all about looks. | |
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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 2/27/2006 12:29:46 AM | Well then, we'er on the same page, i know some 10's who have married 2's, and there happy, and i love, so he was wrong, 10's marry 2's. No it's not all about looks.
you wrote:This thread just brings to mind some wise words of my divorce lawyer. "10s don't marry 2s" | |
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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 3/5/2006 1:27:07 PM | | I'm the one who got cheated on. Even though my husband is paying $1,200 a month for our son, it doesn't give me my house or my life back. I had to start over. Plus I wanted to move back to Oklahoma and the state of Texas said if I do I would be the one to drive our son back and forth. Is that fair? I in no way want to take him away from his father. But I believe there should be some fault in this no fault state. The state of Texas is very big on co-parenting, but I believe every situation is different and they should base the judgment on a case by case basis. What is really ironic is the state of Texas says you don't have to visit your child. My ex makes up excuses to not see him. So why do we have to stay again? | |
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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 4/14/2006 7:34:08 PM | "I'm the one who got cheated on. Even though my husband is paying $1,200 a month for our son, it doesn't give me my house or my life back. I had to start over. Plus I wanted to move back to Oklahoma and the state of Texas said if I do I would be the one to drive our son back and forth. Is that fair? I in no way want to take him away from his father. But I believe there should be some fault in this no fault state. The state of Texas is very big on co-parenting, but I believe every situation is different and they should base the judgment on a case by case basis. What is really ironic is the state of Texas says you don't have to visit your child. My ex makes up excuses to not see him. So why do we have to stay again?"
Just some advice if you don't mind losing that $1,200 a month check, which in all honesty in Texas will put you in a very nice home, though it won't give you your life back. Also, I'm sorry to hear what your husband did. That's terrible.
If he doesn't see the child, makes excuses all the time, maybe he's not a man that's stepping up to the plate, as compared to men like me and others who try and raise our children the best we can with the limited time the State of Texas allows us and make every visit.
You could have him legally sign over his rights, which would free up $1,200 of his income, and he just might bite. Then you can go where you please and the State of Texas has no say whatsoever. You could even allow him visitation at the place and time of your choosing because you're the 100 percent full custodial parent.
I've given this advice to quite a few women, but the thought of losing that big check is usually the deal breaker for obvious reasons.
Now, as far as the driving bit, that's the main reason I came in here again after a long absence, and I see you mentioned it also.
I used to have to drive 5 minutes to see my child, but my ex-wife decided to move on the other side of Harris County, the county I'm living in as well, which is about an hour's drive one way. So, to see my daughter on the weekends I have possession I have to drive four hours total.
According to Texas' standard possession order if both parties live in the same county, assuming she doesn't leave the county we resided in at the time I filed for divorce, the man has to pick up the child and drop off the child at the residence of the mother.
That's just another example of how, as this thread started off, women have the upper hand. On a rare occasion I've asked my ex-wife to drop my daughter off or pick her up because of my workload, but since I broke her heart she has no problem with busting my balls.
The only time she ever comes to pick up my daughter or drop her off is if I allow her during my periods of possession to have her for some special event. I could be a horse's a*** and not allow her to get my daughter, but I want to do what's best for my child.
Anyway, excuse the rant. It just amazes me how women have the upper hand just because they birthed the child and our court system in Texas, and around the United States, is living under the old assumption that a woman is a better caregiver, when that's not always the case.
I'll say again, I wish I had millions to fight the injustice I see on a daily basis and am living with myself. That not being the case, I'll just bend over and take it another 10 years like you other guys who have to put up with getting screwed by the great State of Texas. | |
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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 4/16/2006 1:14:39 PM |
It just amazes me how women have the upper hand just because they birthed the child and our court system in Texas, and around the United States, is living under the old assumption that a woman is a better caregiver, when that's not always the case.
Interesting perception. I disagree with the perception, but it's interesting nonetheless. However the reality is that generalities or norms prevail throughout the judicial system. And as surely you realize, in order for any judicial system to work, the law has to be based on norms. I agree; it's not always just. But then again, life isn't fair. =) | |
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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 4/16/2006 1:49:21 PM | My "perception" is formed after taking probably over 1,000 divorce cases in my career working in district court and my own personal experience with my divorce proceeding. I hate to say anyone's perception is wrong, but I would be willing to bet if we took a poll of 10,000 people who work as court reporters (such as myself), paralegals, lawyers, et cetera, from around the United States my "perception" would gain the bigger vote count. Seeing it firsthand exposes the gender bias that without a doubt permeates our courts around this country as it relates to this issue.
Let me ask you this as just one example. Let's say Mr. and Mrs. Doe are getting a divorce. Both work in the same type job, make the same amount of money, are both excellent parents, will live in the same school district, all things are even across the board with both parents. There's no distinguishing advantage over either the father or mother getting custody. This is purely a hypothetical. And they won't agree to joint custody.
Who do you think would get the child? If you say the father, you'd be dead wrong. And that's in similar circumstances. I've seen instances where the father would be the better caregiver to the child, where the woman gets custody just because of these "norms" which need to be changed. It happens all the time.
The last study I read on this issue, and it conforms to what I see in this area of law, says a man in the State of Texas has about a 3 percent chance of getting awarded custody of their child, where the women are batting at 97 percent. You honestly can't think that's fair and just. And of the 3 percent that do win custody it's because the mother is a deadbeat who doesn't even fight it, signs over her rights, or she has some really serious mental issues or is abusive and it's a slamdunk case the guy can provide better for the child.
The system isn't just, favors women in most instances (that's a fact, not a perception) and won't get fixed anytime soon. It's just the way things are, and it's a shame I don't have the money or the time to affect a change in what I see as an "unjust" system that gives the custodial parent, which the great majority of the time is the woman, superior rights, and leaves the man on the short end of the stick. | |
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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 4/16/2006 5:20:18 PM |
The system isn't just, favors women in most instances (that's a fact, not a perception) and won't get fixed anytime soon. It's just the way things are, and it's a shame I don't have the money or the time to affect a change in what I see as an "unjust" system that gives the custodial parent, which the great majority of the time is the woman, superior rights, and leaves the man on the short end of the stick.
Please don't whine about gender bias. Men have had the upper hand for a very long time. All you have to do is look at fairly recent history when in order to get a divorce you had to prove fault. That's a steep hill to climb if you're not the one who 1) earns and/or 2) controls the money. (Before I get flamed here, note that I am NOT bashing men.)
I'm aware that the mother gets the presumption, and often the father has to prove gross misconduct in order to prevail. Perhaps this is a way to level the field. Mind you, I don't necessarily agree with the laws. However, like I said before, the prevalent societal norm is that the mother gets the presumption as the preferred parent. I absolutely know that the mother isn't always the best parent.
As to who is on the short end of the stick, well, that IS a perception. Paying money is often a heck of a lot easier than being a full time custodial parent, who, after starting at zero, is attempting to make something of her life. Full time single parenthood is tough but not impossible. =) | |
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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 4/16/2006 8:24:57 PM | "I'm aware that the mother gets the presumption, and often the father has to prove gross misconduct in order to prevail. Perhaps this is a way to level the field. Mind you, I don't necessarily agree with the laws. However, like I said before, the prevalent societal norm is that the mother gets the presumption as the preferred parent. I absolutely know that the mother isn't always the best parent."
And you say I shouldn't "whine" about "gender bias?" That makes not a damn bit of sense. You said in that paragraph what I've been stating all along. Thanks for admitting it, finally. It's been my position throughout this thread.
There shouldn't be any "presumption" towards women being the "preferred parent," and there shouldn't be any mindset of having to "level the field." Both parents should stand equal in the eyes of the law and be judged on their capabilities to raise the child with no initial preference being held for either party. That's the way it should be. That's obviously not the case in today's world. Hopefully someday that will change.
"As to who is on the short end of the stick, well, that IS a perception."
It is NOT a "perception" as evidenced by your post that women have the "presumption as the preferred parent." Please explain how that's not men getting the "short end of the stick." I'd gladly be the full custodial parent of my child instead of the position I find myself in. What IS a "perception" is your opinion of which role is harder. That's hardly the issues we're discussing in this thread, though. | |
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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 7/12/2006 2:39:26 PM | | MIladybug makes a good point, Things are the way they are and there changing slowly, I like things just the way they are and I'm gonna live life to the fullest no matter how things change, I try to enjoy each day as much as I can, and wonder about the choices I make alot. | |
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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 7/12/2006 8:12:16 PM | Make Sure There Is A Nioce Set Of Females Red Lips On The Xerox I Am  About Our Judicial System As Well. 1 day I Will Fill Yall In On Mine As I Go BEfore A Judge For The 3rd Time And Will Prolly Go To Jail After Requesting A Change Of Status Due To Lack Of Work For Helth Reason's | |
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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 7/13/2006 6:06:03 AM | Words from a single dad, Older man, I do have custody of my son, I have been the primary caregiver since he was 8 he is now 15.
Yes I am happy things worked out the way it did.
Let me vent a bit, the amount of the childsupport in my divorce was the lowest amount that could be awarded , based on our incomes at the time. The amount she pay's has not changed since the divorce, my fault I figure its better to get a smaller amount instead of amounting back childsupport that may never be paid. She should be responsible for the medical, but I carry extra family coverage just to sleep well knowing the young man is covered. Extra expenses such as (dental) braces and the such she should share the expense, but alais she never has the money and the only way to enforce this it a trip out of state and back to court. Expenses for summer vacation ( visitation )such as travel she is suppose to split, but if the young man is to see his mother it's up to me to come up with the money, this is the first summer he did not visit, why she said she was too busy working, I let her explain this to her son, I just sit back for once and let her spin her story to him.
Guys it don't end when the child turns 18, there are Weddings, Grandchildren, education, and so on and so forth, The end comes when its your turn to go home ( to God ) so to speak.
No the divorce was not granted in Texas, this may be why I received custody.
Love and Marriage does involve more than the Bride and the Groom , when children are factored into the mix. | |
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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 7/13/2006 7:46:38 AM | The Texas Judicial System sucks in other ways, too. Just over a year ago, this guy stole my car and there's not a damm thing I can do about it! He's driving it around town as if it's his own, running tollways & all while it's still registered to me!! Done everything under the sun to try to get it back, too! Long story, but I feel like the law is there to protect the criminals (most of the time anyway). Sure did protect him! 
And FYI: I am in the legal field. | |
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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 7/13/2006 9:08:23 AM | "I've only got 8 more years of payments and my kid is paid for"
I think that is the most depressing thing I have ever heard. It is one thing to be mad at your ex but to say that about a child. You can justify this however you wish but you should be thankful that you were able to have a child of your own in the first place. Sounds like you and your ex have lots of issues and I know you are venting but please remember that the only person that gets hurts here is your child. God help him/her when they turn 18.... what happens then?
And remember...we chose the people we have children with. What does that say about us? | |
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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 7/13/2006 2:35:35 PM | | Man you are just just hitting the top layer of family court problems. In tarrant county it is nothing less than organized crime. The judges, lawyers, and court appointed recievors and ad litems. They make the women believe they will get all his stuff then drag it out until thier billable hours eat everything up. A friend is going thru a divorce that has made the paper on 4 occasions. The asst. D.A. has been to the hearings. And 1 judge was voted out of office and anothers affair was made public. Oh I could go on. Contact me if you want to know more. | |
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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 7/13/2006 10:01:30 PM | | hey now, i understand where your coming from..but NEVER say Texas sucks..cause its just the best damn state in America..like Sam Houston said..Texas could live without America..but America could never live without the great state of TEXAS!!!! | |
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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 7/13/2006 11:31:02 PM | I agree with you about The Great State of TEXAS!!! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones out here in Texas. I had an uncontested divorce and have custody of my son since he was two years old. He is now 5 and I get paid child support by my ex. And of course $300.00 bucks a month is not enough, but I dont complain to the ex. I just make up for it and move on. It's not worth fighting about anyway.
I have read most of everyone's points on her and disagree with most of you. Regardless of what amount your getting or paying. We are talking about our children and they are worth spending as much money, time, etc. on them. I have male friends who **** about paying child support and I wonder why they do. It's called responsibility! It's not about paying off the kids when they get 18 or I'm giving my wife an extra $8,700.00 a year. Kids are expensive and the activities are more expensive than when we were all kids.
Marriage was to be forever and until death do us part. Beside the only ones that win are the LAWYERS!!!!!! That's my only regret...not becoming a Lawyer.... | |
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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 7/14/2006 4:27:42 AM | | well welcome to my world. but you forgot to say that SHE ONLY gets a tax deduction for your son and will probably turn him against you. never give you reasonable visitation without a court order, etc. and even though she cheated on you, THE JUDGE ALWAYS GIVES THE WOMAN CUSTODY WITHOUT EVEN CONSIDERING THE MAN!!! thank God my 3 girls are grown and flown. freedom at last. i paid child support for 15 years and never was late one week. so even though there are many women out there that don't receive any help from their exes, here's one guy that has suffered enough. so texas justice system??? no make that the texas INJUSTICE system. and it won't change......we are always the bad guys. men have no rights........ | |
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| Texas and the Judicial System.....SUX!!!!
Posted: 7/14/2006 11:03:20 PM | | Child support doesn't include the "support of the mom." Though, it does help support a woman who gets their child support check every month. What you're speaking of is alimony under Texas law. | |
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