| would you date someone who is handicaped?
Posted: 11/11/2006 3:47:56 PM | | I met a man when I was marketing on the road. He had been born with one arm missing up to the elbow. He lived too far away or I'd be all over that man still. He was gorgeous, a gentleman, successful, a wonderful lover just to good to be true. Kind, funny,humble, I could go on and on. Except 9 long hrs. away. Was he handicaped? Re-reading this, no. My body is whole, but with my baggage and the wrong types of guys I've wound up with, I'd have to say I'm more handicapped.lol | |
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| would you date someone who is handicaped?
Posted: 11/11/2006 3:59:04 PM | Tigress, just think "pair" a palegic, as in their pair of legs don't work, and you will remember it fine.
Handicapped is how you view yourself.
If you are humiliated because someone calls you deaf, you are giving your sensory deficit the power of a handicap.
Same thing if it bothers you when someone asks why you are in a wheelchair. | |
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PcGeek
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Joined: 10/17/2006
Msg: 428 | |
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| would you date someone who is handicaped?
Posted: 11/11/2006 4:04:37 PM | I have a mild physical disability......Cerebral Palsy...This affects me in very limited ways...I just walk with an "uneven gait." This has not stopped any guys from dating me...I am very upfront about it...I encourage questions and discussions about any concerns. So far, nothing has gotten in the way...Now my situation is different from so many other people out there....I say that it is all about personality and if they make you happy and whole then go for it.....of course there is lots to consider but that is up to the couple and their situation...
Mental disabilities I would think is a different story...I dated a man with bi-polar and this is very difficult to handle and takes a lot of effort to make it work. But again it is a personal decision. | |
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| would you date someone who is handicaped?
Posted: 11/11/2006 4:21:44 PM |
Do you count profound deafness as a handicap??? I ask 'cause there are many deaf people who do not .. I dated a girl when I was in the military and she was incredibly fun, vibrant, and sexy as all hell. We ended up in my bed after three dates and only then did I discover that she was in fact totally deaf without her hearing aids.....(sigh) I miss her sometimes...
Handicaps do not stop people from being people...just makes doing so in a world that is largely not built with them in mind more difficult...
Essaress, Im profoundly deaf myself. I too wear hearing aids. And i cannot speak for all those who have the same, but, I admit im handicapped, but that never ever became my obstacle (at first it was, but i found a way to over come it). Hell no one really knew i was deaf until i showed them my hearing aids lol..
Often i stirr myself up on that, its a great way to "accept" each and everyone of us as wwell as ourselves that its just one part of one's body thats broken. To me, everyone's handicap, wether you are in a wheel chair, mentally handicapped, down syndrome, or just having trouble seeing the road at night when its raining while driving. Its all the same thing :P
Veedub: lol yes.. it would be great that we cant hear anyone's fart.. better yet, would be great i cant hear anyone snoring :P not to mention the level of .. er.. screams whilst doing one's tthing in tthe bedroom "oh my god.. oh my god! yes yes yes!" :P
To asnwer tto tthe tthread's question:
The other day i went to church to witness my new neice's christianing, i spotted a gorgeous girl in wheelchair. Young, vibrant and unable to controlk the twistting of her body (i cant remember what this handicap is called) but.. I looked at her and thought, Now there's a person that will spin any one out with wisdom, knowledge, and life..
so yeah, I would date them. I dont care if they lost both arms and legs. IF she has a life worth telling, then Im here to listen. | |
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| would you date someone who is handicaped?
Posted: 11/11/2006 4:39:00 PM | ^^Many of the culturally Deaf do not consider themselves handicapped.
I think the twisting disease you are referring to is parkinsons (like michael fox has). | |
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| would you date someone who is handicaped?
Posted: 11/12/2006 2:19:15 PM | well yes i would as at the end of the day they are in a way the same as anyone else they still have feelings and still want the same things as every body else ?someone to love them for who they are
they can still have fun and a laugh and joke as good as anyone of the able bodied people maybe more so as they have more to offer in the sense that they know they are diffrent to others
but even if it upsets them they never show it
an old saying was never show your feelings foe if you do then people will take pity
maybe true maybe not as sometimes you hide how you feel oter times you say what you feel
i have cervical spondylosis and a curviture of the spine i was born with funny feet as i called them wore calliphers for 7 yrs and was in plaster from hips down for 6 monts had perfarated eardrums from a yr old to being 6 was classed as deaf learnt to speak by speech therapy boring but hey lol had to be done
had cancer ( instant tummy tuck yey ) see at the end of the day we are all born the same and feel and bleed and can love the same
i learnt that people judge you by looks and how you are sometimes to tell people is harder as they ignore you but to be honest pays off in the end as you then know who is honest and who is not at the end of the day dissability ect is like everything else it is just a word
people are just that people | |
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| would you date someone who is handicaped?
Posted: 11/12/2006 7:35:54 PM | hey smith there is also a disease that is somtimes mistaken for parkinsons. My mother was treated for parkinsons for years until a doctor went and did some extra tests and found that she was being treated wrong. she had something called (if I remember right) EMI tremors. the two are often mistakened. My grandmother had the tremors and my niece and one of my five sisters has them. I have not checked to see if any of my aunts has had them or not. the two are that close to being the same thing. just something about the tremors that is different. I haven't researched it like my sisters have to understand it. But OT yeah dating one with a handicapp is no different than dating someone with out one as long as you forget the handicapp.
Mound | |
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| would you date someone who is handicaped?
Posted: 11/12/2006 8:24:02 PM | Would you date someone who's handicapped?
only if it's something that wouldn't really effect daily life (like glasses or a hearing aid). It is what it is. | |
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| would you date someone who is handicaped?
Posted: 11/14/2006 11:44:16 AM | | Moundpuppy - Very interesting post. I was diagnosed with 'Benign Essential Tremors' by a neurologist. Really doesnt effect daily life much, and doc said it was strictly genetic. (My father had them). However, I guess it could be embarrassing if you're out on a date. Although your date could do much to help you if she understood - meaning making you feel relaxed and comfortable. Does wonders for the symptoms. Of course a first date is usually difficult to handle as both parties are usually uptight. Thanks for your most interesting post. | |
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| would you date someone who is handicaped?
Posted: 11/14/2006 12:05:26 PM | | I recently dated a man who has MS and has a severe limp..No problem for me as he truley was and is Mr.Wonderful although we no longer see eachother,his decision not mine.. | |
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| would you date someone who is handicaped?
Posted: 11/14/2006 2:08:12 PM | | I am a nurse and get many chat request from handycapped men. I also had a sister with Juvinile diabetes that was blind and had bad ulcers on her feet making it hard for her to walk. As a rule I don't date men with handycaps, mostly because for someone like me it means going home from work to more work at home. But, recently I met and began dating a man with MS. He was wonderful at first until he started treating me like the only thing I was there for was to take care of him. The relationship ended after only 10 days and much to my sadness he was left feeling like it was because of his handycap. The truth is it was because I'm looking for a relationship, a partner in life, someone who will stand by me and face this life together. I don't need another patient, I have plenty of them. I'm not apposed to dating handycapped men, and I certainly don't think they are any less able to have a commited caring relationship then the rest of us, but part of the turn off for me is in the expectation that because I'm a nurse I know how to take care of all their needs. I can lift wheelchairs and bodies out of beds and cars with the best of them, but I don't know how to make the handycap go away, nor do I know how to change their perspective on life. This doesn't apply to every handycapped person out there. There are many different handycaps and not all are so debilitating, but for me personally unless the man is really comfortable with his handycap and doesn't let it get to him, I will probably not date another one. | |
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| would you date someone who is handicaped?
Posted: 11/14/2006 8:10:20 PM | seekone the tremors my mother had was also passed on from mother to daughter. to my knowledge none of the guys in the family has had it. According to my mother when I could get her to talk of it it was something mostly found in women. She would be fine one minute then the next she would start shaking in her left hand and arm. She would just place her hand in her lap and ignore it until the tremors quit. I haven't talked to my sister on hers or my niece. I did find that when my mother was nervous she started shaking more. Not long before she passed it had started moving to her neck causing her head to shake slightly.
Tho I am classified as handicapped in several different ways i do not accept the fact that I am for I am one that does not consider myself so and I do not let it stop me from doing anything except fighting fires. well truthfully anything that will cause my breath to weaken will slow me down but it doesn't stop me from going on. it all depends on how one feels for themselves and what they feel is a handicap. so dating a person that is slightly challenged in thier own eyes is no problem for me as to what the rest of the world thinks of this person and thier slight problem is thier problem.
Moundpuppy | |
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| would you date someone who is handicaped?
Posted: 11/16/2006 9:24:14 AM | | Makin memories,,,Thanks for the refreshing words. I also have MS and I have my good and bad days. I can understand why the guy ended the relationship though. Sometimes a person who has an illness of some sort does not want to put another through it with them. Some people feel incomplete and guilty,,turning away from a loved one. If you really loved him ,,then dont give up! I on the other hand have never been refused by a man because of my illness. Turn the tables around and it could be you down the road somewhere having something happen to you. So would he leave you? We do not know what tomorrow will bring! Look at my post earlier. | |
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| would you date someone who is handicaped?
Posted: 11/20/2006 5:56:11 AM |
^^Many of the culturally Deaf do not consider themselves handicapped.
Smith, how do you know this?
Because I told him!! 
Actually thats not true, but why wouldn't Smith know that? It's a well known fact. Smith is absolutely correct. We celebrate Deaf Culture with a capital D. I have national recognition as a Deaf Artist and have toured with other Deaf artists. For many of us, it is our identity, not our "handicap" (I hate that word!). Deafness is a disability when hearing people cannot or will not accomodate. A hearing person can learn ASL (American Sign Language). There is so much technology for Deaf that there is no reason a deaf person has to be left behind.
If you, a hearing person, were in a room full of Deaf people who were communicating only in ASL, and you didnt know it, or have a translater, then exactly who is the one with the "disability"?
I have been profoundly deaf most of my life. Last week I just got a new pair of hearing aids. I started a thread which is in the creative writing section- describing the experience. Deafness is a great inconvenience for me, because of the lack of accomodations even at this stage of advanced technology. I know some men won't date me because I am deaf- have said so right out. But that's fine. I won't date them either- because of [their "handicap" which is ignorance. | |
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| would you date someone who is handicaped?
Posted: 11/20/2006 9:32:22 PM | Why not? And why are there so many *would you date* questions here? I am mildly disabled, my brain is excellent, I just can't drive or do anything superfast. I date able bodied men, and have talked to others who may or may not be disabled, no, they are not on POF, as far as I know, but I have no idea, they may be here too and I'd rather protect their privacy....Disqualifying someone as a date and a possible mate because of a condition they have no control over, and I'm thinking most dateable disabled people had no choice in the matter, is just plain wrong. Why are people so picky? I'd rather have someone to love and share my life with than be alone because I was too picky...Yes there is a question of chemistry, too, but there are a lot of sexy disabled people of both sexes..... | |
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| would you date someone who is handicaped?
Posted: 11/20/2006 10:27:30 PM |
If you, a hearing person, were in a room full of Deaf people who were communicating only in ASL, and you didnt know it, or have a translater, then exactly who is the one with the "disability"?
i barely know asl.. when in a room with signing people, yes its frustrating.. so i guess i am one with a disability
yet
in a room of hearing people.. its frustrating as well.. as i can only lipread one face at a time, again.. a disability
you hate the word handicapped ... i do not.
from the dictionary;
2 a : a disadvantage that makes achievement unusually difficult b; sometimes offensive : a physical disability
i can admit i have difficulty.. its not a problem as i like challenges and its not offensive because i dont view it that way... its only offensive if you make it offensive
I'll stand in that room full of either deaf or hearing people... and say HEY im having difficulty.. a disablity.. a handicap.. now look at me and let me lip read dammnit!!! (( stomps foot)) | |
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Snarty
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Joined: 8/8/2006
Msg: 448 | |
| would you date someone who is handicaped?
Posted: 11/20/2006 10:44:10 PM | As someone who has spina bifida, and uses a wheelchair to get around I am both both deeply moved by some of these posts and, also saddened that there are still people out there who seem to think having a disability means that your life is over, and that people with disabilities are not worth getting to know. Those who have disabilities deserve what anyone else deserves, love, respect, and to be treated just like everyone else. Don't put us all in some "special category". I myself have been involved with someone for 2 and a half years amd couldn't be happier. People have rights to their own opinions just try not to be ignorant about the way you say them.
Thanks | |
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| would you date someone who is handicaped?
Posted: 11/21/2006 4:06:12 AM | I have and would again. My guy had Cerebral Palsy and walked with braces. It was his character, personality and love for God that won me over - plus he was handsome!. He ended it as he had not been separated that long but he will always have a special place in my heart. Hi John, if you should happen to read this. | |
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| would you date someone who is handicaped?
Posted: 11/21/2006 6:10:47 AM |
I'll stand in that room full of either deaf or hearing people... and say HEY im having difficulty.. a disablity.. a handicap.. now look at me and let me lip read dammnit!!! (( stomps foot))
Now that's too funny! It's very rare to be able to lipread a deaf person. Not even I can do that! If they are signing ASL, they cannot communicate in 2 languages simultaneously. Many deaf do not have very good English skills.
Maybe at first you would go in a room, and demand access, stomping your foot, but on an every day basis I doubt you would do that. Not being able to hear, or being in a wheelchair, or whatever disability you have- is nothing like someone who "tries" it for a day- earplugs, borrowing a wheelchair, etc. There is only so much you can do sometimes, and being aggressive on every situation just wears you down that becomes your focus not just socializing. you will get VERY upset and pissed off when *surprise!* not everyone stops in their tracks when you stamp your foot and demand acess.
As for the word "handicap", it has a bad taste to people with disabilities. It may be appropriate to use the word in some situations, but generally it is no longer PC. Many deaf do not see themselves as having a disability. But when there is discrimination, or lack of access, then there IS a disability issue. For a deaf person, if there were access, and communication, (lights for sound, interpreters or signers, etc)
As for me, I do extremely well with speech, lipreading and all other aspects of communication. Yet its still very hard if not downright impossible, to be a "hearing" person. I am not. Part of the problem, sometimes, is that I do so well, people just forget or assume I can understand.
Ideally it should be 50/50, but that's unrealistic. But usually when a hearing person makes some kind of genuine effort, it goes a very long way. Its the same for others with a disability, too, I am sure. | |
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