| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 7/13/2007 7:30:39 PM | Most of the guys I have dated on the sites don't drink and thats cool with me,
I don't see why one thinks they have to drink to have a good time but I know many that do.
I have never been one to care about it so it's easy for me.
When you live with an alcoholic for many years you appreciate someone who don't drink or will have the occasional one. thats just my OP. | |
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| What is wrong with not drinking
Posted: 7/13/2007 7:30:59 PM | I hardly drink. When I do, even a little bit makes me tipsy so I can't even have 1/2 glass of beer and expect to drive. I can't tell you how many times friends at parties, etc. have given me the, "Aww, just have one." line, but they let up after a few tries.
Drinking (and getting hammered) was fun when I was younger (I barely remember the ages between 18 and 22 ~ LOL). Now it just makes me sleepy. Not exactly my idea of a good time. And I can be the life of the party without it. | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 7/13/2007 7:31:23 PM | | As a 12 stepper (and proud of my soberity!!) I have found the guys who were intimidated by my not drinking were seriously, the ones with the drinking problems. Granted, my situation is different because I will not, under any circumstances date someone who drinks daily. If I want to stay sober, someone who drinks daily is a deal breaker for me. This is a great thread because I was just going to ask about this...! I had a date tonight and when we met up he had obviously already had some liquor in him (which is what I thought was rude right off the bat) and then to see the size of the travel mug he was drinking it out of...OMG! No wonder he said he only has ONE drink a day, geez, even I didn't drink THAT much!! : - ))) | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 7/13/2007 7:43:26 PM |
I have NO problem dating someone who doesn't drink. I don't drink often at all, and would rather be with someone who is the same way. My last boyfriend drank way too often. He couldn't handle daily life and its stress without a mind altering substance of some type.
What he/she said.
Plus, if you don't want to drink, she'll always have a DD! I'd love to meet a guy who didn't drink (or at least didn't drink very often). My ex (who's on here) drinks like a fish. I can't understand why people constantly need to be drunk to enjoy themselves. I'm no prude, but I CAN have a good time sober...and like the OP said, I can be just as much fun sober as drunk (AND I HAVE THE PICS TO PROVE IT LOL).
Time to find another gal maybe, OP. One who respects your choices, and doesn't "feel guilty" for making her own. | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 7/13/2007 8:01:50 PM | | NOTHING IS WRONG WITH A NONDRINKER.IN FACT I PREFER A NONDRINKER TO DRINKER.SOCIAL DRINKING IS ONE THING BUT HAVING TO DRINK TO RELATE IS NOT OK.DRINK WHATEVER BEVERAGE YOU WANT WITH CONTROL.ME TOO I AM JUST AS HAPPY EITHER WAY IN FACT SOMETIM ES MORE SOBBER. I NEVER ENJOYED DRINKING THAT MUCH.SOMETIMES IT IS NICE TO HAVE A DRINK OR TWO IF THERE IS CHEMISTRY WORKING.BUT I DO NOT LIKE A SMOKER.ANOTHER ISSUE.I WOULD RATHER DATE A NONDRINKER ANY DAY AT LEAST MAYBE HE WILL MEAN WHAT COMES OUT OF THAT MOUTH AND REMEMBER IT AND THEN KEEP HIS WORD. | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 7/14/2007 8:18:09 PM | I have had some really odd experiences with my not drinking. One guy who I met here was the strangest. When he discovered I didn't drink, he went through this lengthy and concise story that he once had driven home cousins around the holidays and couldn't remember anything about it the next day. That's called a black out, pure and simple. It scared him enough that he didn't drink for 15 years.
When I made his acquaintance here, he had returned to drinking and swore he had a handle on it. We talked on the phone and had lots in common. We were trying to arrange a meet for the upcoming weekend and we ended the conversation and both said we would talk to one another the next day. I got up in the morning and there in my mailbox was an email from him. The email basically told me that because I didn't drink, that he couldn't see himself being with me as he liked to drink foreign beers in his travels and he just would feel ill at ease with me not drinking. All of the previous words and sentiments we shared that seemed so sincere, were reduced to a puddle (pun intended) because it would make him uncomfortable.
My answer was: Well "J". I understand we all have our priorities and I certainly wouldn't want to be responsible for preventing you from drinking.
The long and short of this in my experience is this: People who don't have drinking issues rarely if ever, have to make the kind of decision he made with me. They also don't seek out others who don't drink or drink moderately to hang with at parties. It just never occurs to them because alcohol is not a central factor in their happiness or fun.
A person that allows the consumption of alcohol to define any part of their lives is typically a person who has a drinking problem. A person that uses a substance to "check out" or alter their consciousness because they can't deal with life otherwise, is either an addict or an alcoholic. | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 7/14/2007 8:23:25 PM | | I dunno does she put drinking that important on her list? I admit I drink now and again but I wouldnt care if my guy drank or not . If he chose not to id be cool with that , heck he could be our dd driver . | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 7/14/2007 9:32:07 PM | [A person that allows the consumption of alcohol to define any part of their lives is typically a person who has a drinking problem]
Words to live by.
First rate post.
Well done. | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 7/15/2007 1:09:57 AM | I stopped drinking nearly 32 years ago when I got the dry heaves after drinking. It was beer that shattered my previous cast iron stomach. I said, "God, please make me well, I'll never drink again" (like I am the first one to ever make that pledge). I was not religious at the time and I still am not, but I considered a vow to be a vow and as Tolkien wrote, "vows are not to be taken lightly".
I never had a problem with drinking, it's just that I could not handle beer without getting sick. After 32 years I think I have proven my point that I do not have to drink and I no longer feel obligated to make myself a slave to a vow I made over 30 years ago. There is certainly nothing wrong with drinking alcohol in moderation or simply having a glass of wine with a meal. I think that now if the opportunity presents itself that I will have a drink if I wish and not feel at all bad or guilty about it and neither will I condemn myself over it. | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 7/15/2007 8:04:17 AM | ^^^
Your reasons are perfectly understandable and commendable I might add. My point was not over his moderate drinking. My point was he was going to alter the way he conducts his relationships with people based on his alcohol consumption. I had no problem whatsoever with his drinking. It wouldn't bother me in the least. I don't even have a problem with being the designated driver. In fact I would insist on it.
The problem wasn't me. The problem was he felt it would impede, stifle, and limit his enjoyment of alcohol because I wouldn't drink.
He let a liquid control him in such a way that it altered his decision about getting to know me further, despite the consumption of alcohol being the only real difference between us. The hours of dialog, laughter, and ease we shared were immediately disposable when he realized he couldn't drink around me comfortably.
Frankly I consider it a blessing in disguise. As I said in my earlier post. It is my experience that a person that allows a substance to define any part of their lives typically has a problem with said substance. | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 7/15/2007 9:16:21 AM | I don't drink. Women are at bars and clubs. And I hate clubs. If I want to meet women, I have to drink a lot of water as a result. Since I tip, the bartenders don't make a big deal out of it usually, though I have gotten a dirty look (like I care). I can have 'fun' without being 'stupid'.
And if I find you attractive and we're talking and I ask what you want to do for fun and your response is "drink"...I just ran out of reasons to be there, cause obviously the only way you define yourself is how drunk you are and if that is still 'fun' to you, you're probably just toying with me anyway and about 18-23 yrs of age. Although I've seen that go a lot higher...
As for males who related and do business while drinking...I bite the bullet...to the tune of 2 and not one more. And if they can't respect that, I can't respect them. | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 7/15/2007 10:51:09 AM | I drink VERY seldom, maybe once a year, and never more than one. I never drink when I go out, because I drive myself; and also if I am meeting someone for the first time, I think it's best to keep my wits about me, so I would not drink even if I had the inclination. I prefer to date someone that also seldom drinks or does not drink at all ...
Anyone that has a problem with the fact that I don't drink ? well - you know they can go elsewhere .... no skin off my nose  | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 7/15/2007 12:38:52 PM | | What's wrong with not drinking? Absolutely nothing! I'm not much of a drinker myself so dating someone who doesn't drink would be fine with me. :) | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 7/17/2007 12:30:29 PM | | Hey MI Amore, I agree with you what wrong if a person who dont drink. I dont drink myself because I was raise not to drink. There is nothing wrong for a person who dont drink. You are doing the right thing for not drinking beer and other liquor. People need to realize that drinking does not go for everyone. I am glad that you have more sense not to drink. Stay on the right track. From Kirk | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 7/17/2007 4:31:23 PM | | Is this really that shocking to you that some people live certain lifestyles, and require different things? Some Christians won't date Muslims, or Atheists. I thought it was common knowledge that people are different, and want different things out of life? | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 7/17/2007 4:44:55 PM | [/In college if you didn't drink and party you were viewed as a lame person.]
Been there myself.
I would like to respectfully challenge you to rise above that and better yourself as a person my friend. | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 7/17/2007 6:18:46 PM | | I'd date someone who doesn't drink, but I might get annoyed if she were to give me a hard time every time I make myself a drink considering that I rarely do so. | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 8/6/2007 7:07:05 PM | | nothing is wrong with not drinking,its all about choisies,i had 6 beer today.just staying home and tinkering,if i go to the bars in my town, they never now what i want, coffee ,beer.pop. alldepends on the mood. 3 beers is my limit in an evening, if i have to drive ? | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 8/6/2007 7:31:12 PM |
What is wrong with not drinking
I rarely drink, so it makes no difference to me........
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 8/6/2007 7:58:15 PM | | I wouldn't date anyone that didn't drink. Why? Because they just arent any fun to be around when you have a buzz going. LOL. | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 8/6/2007 8:04:50 PM | I only drink socially, so if my company doesn't drink then neither do I.
I'd feel conscious of smelling like a pub and I'd be aware that I could say a few dumb things as lets face it drink doesn't really make us funnier or more intelligent. I'd feel like I was getting on the other persons nerves if I drank around a non-drinker.
So, to me it doesn't seem that crazy if drinking is a really important part of her life (errr. lol?). | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 8/6/2007 8:21:41 PM | As ive already I dont mind you not drinking you can drive me home ,  .. passhhhh me your mug.. | |
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| What is wrong withnot drinking
Posted: 8/27/2007 9:44:59 PM | cynderella01,
I don't disagree that someone listing themselves as a non-drinker may be a red flag however, there is a very prominent 4th reason - you need to broaden your defination of a 'History of Alcoholism' beyond the person who doesn't drink to include having lived with an alcoholic. | |
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