| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 7/13/2006 5:37:40 PM | When i was still living at home, my b/f at the time would do it in my car in random places. Anyways, one of the places we decided to do it was at the local library parking lot which was also the park. So we're getting it on and all of the sudden we see car lights. We start searching for clothes and low and behold, i can't find my pants. I'm freaking out b/c I'm thinking it's cops so I find a blanket in the nick of time. The car pulls up beside us and who is it? My mom's church youth pastor....
I can't decide what's better? | |
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| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 7/13/2006 5:40:32 PM | two stories same chic. Was out with my girl friend at the time, we stopped at a bar thet had really good hot wings. I had some later that night we were fooling around, I slipped a finger in and she said it was burning. I said I thought I washed my hands good with plenty of soap, she disagreed.
A few weeks later we were making out on her couch and she sugested that we go out on her balcony, it was dark, she lived on the third floor and all it faced was woods so I said ok. we were completely naked just about to really get into it when her roommate and her roommate's date walked out onto the balcony, aparently with the same idea we had. | |
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| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 7/13/2006 6:06:35 PM | | I had just finished a session and got up to get some water, there was about 7 people over still and I was rummaging around in the kitchen trying to find a clean glass, I hadn't thought much of it, but as got back into my room and I started to take my jeans off I realized my wang was out the whole time in the kitchen, thus explaining the looks I was getting. | |
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| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 7/13/2006 7:15:57 PM | POF, A few years ago, I was on phone-chat on my coffee break @ work.
Met a chick there I used to work with. She says "Hey! I live close! Are you alone?"
She is in my work- place where I am alone in, like, 4 minutes. Turns out, she's not
wearing panties! We go into my washroom where she RIPS my shirt off, gets on
her knees and whips out my wanger and starts blowing me. (She was a nymph)
After no more than 6 seconds and 8 strokes (blush...I counted...AHEM!)
I shot a big load in her mouth...LOL!!! Man! It startled her and she FLEW out
of the w/room, me w/ the residue in my hand...yuuk!!! Never heard from that
chick, again! LOL!!! ...Meeks88... | |
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| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 7/13/2006 7:39:13 PM | | When I was dateing this woman for the 1st time, we got carried away and did it on her sofa. It was great that we both had orgasms at the same time but my watch alarm went off at the same moment playing 'be kind to your webfooted friends'. It took me quite awhile to convince her that I could nopt have planned that in a lifetime. coincidences can be hilarious. | |
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Kait06
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Joined: 8/22/2006
Msg: 31 | |
| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 9/28/2006 1:53:51 AM | Hahahaha this thread is great.
Hmmm.. I wish I had a funny story, but all I have is an awkward one.. haha. I lost my virginity in the middle of a field in a park.. at night.. on a blanket that was too small so I found grass on my thighs much later that night, haha. Kay.. I guess that is kind of funny.  | |
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| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 11/13/2006 4:02:51 AM | | I had something funny and embarassing happen to me once the first time I went out with this guy.We spent the day walking around at the zoo and I was very lady like all day.At dinner he asked me how my sales business was going since I moved to Alberta.I meant to tell him that it wasn't as succesful as it was in Toronto and the words slipped out that it wasn't as sexual here.If the table wasn't as tight against me I would have crawled under the table and he held a mirror to my face.I didn't know which was more embarassing.My face turning so red or the words that slipped out.I never knew my face could turn so red. I never heard the end of it after that.That was my Froidian slip. | |
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| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 11/13/2006 5:27:32 AM | High school - dating my steady girlfriend... always trying to find ways (and more important, PLACES) to be alone together...
We told her parents we were going to see "War Games" at the movie theater - lie. We went parking and had some fun.
Later on I'm taking her home, we're rehearsing our speech about how the movie was, when she has me pull over about 2 blocks from her house. She proceeds to go down on me - just incredible! :)
We wrap it up (literally) and I take her home. Inside we describe the movie, talk about what a good show it was, yada yada yada, and I look over and realize she's having a "Something About Mary" moment! ARRRRRGH! 
I look at her parent face, and they can't see... whew! I slyly reach over and put my arm around her neck/hair (scene of the crime) and eradicate the evidence/hair gel!
Still makes me laugh to this day... ...but not at THAT exact moment! | |
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| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 11/13/2006 5:39:48 AM | | we were 17 , making out in my car at the local ball field...........we're going at it pretty good, rocking the Datsun when we hear a knock on the window. a cop says what are you two doing in there, we thought he couldn't see because the windows were fogged. I said we're necking.........he replied well put your neck back in your pants and get out of here. | |
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Sirpep
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Joined: 5/10/2006
Msg: 35 | |
| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 11/13/2006 5:48:16 AM | | Well this was funny,,, i was about 18 i think,, grade 12,,, lunch time, So the girlfriend and I decided to hit a place called taylor creek in toronto... During the day.... lmao..... it was raining pretty good that day...to make a long story short,,, we started out in the rain,,,, ended up in the back seat... windows were fogging up,,,, and she was ready to cum,,,, all of a sudden,.,,,, we get a knock,,,,, thinking it was friends,,,, we cont,,,,, and she was a screamer,.,,,,,, all of a sudden,,, she screams out Im CUMMINNNNNNN,,,,, cop outside the door says thats good,,, can you get the underwear off the hood,,, and hurry up,,,, im getting wet out here,,,,, Well holy crap,,,,, she went from shaking with pleasure to shaking with red face,... but hey,,,, we were young,,,, and the copsmiled and grinned at me,,, no tickets,,,, but it was funny. | |
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| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 11/13/2006 5:52:13 AM | Getting caught by the cops is NOT fun! LOL It happened to me when I was about 18. The cop told me to get out of the car and I wouldn't. He yelled at me to get out and I yelled back, "I can't! I have NOTHING on!" I was naked from the waist down!! He let me stay in the car! I think they had thought there was a drug deal going on! LOL
Another time, when I was married, I was on top, going crazy, flinging my hair around when he lets out a scream! My hair was caught in his eyebrow piercing. NOT easy to get loose. He didn't think it was funny, but I laughed my ass off! | |
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| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 11/22/2006 3:03:04 PM | | Had a girlfriend who had a golden retreiver. she let the dog sleep on her bed. Needless to say the dog wasn't thrilled when I would spend the nite. She was always squeesing between was in the middle of the night, then she would roll and stretch out her legs until she pushed me off the bed. If that wasn't bad enough, once she actually crwaled up between our legs while we were making it and she nugded my scrot with her cold wet nose! | |
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| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 11/22/2006 5:34:20 PM | | I had a GF years back who's parents rented a house in the mountains for the whole family to go on vacation. As you might guess, since we were under their roof, had to follow their rules and so on, and I had to sleep in a room with one of her nephews, in the top bunk, while she slept in a room with her nieces. The whole week was horrible, lots of tension with the family, and she and I never got a chance to be alone. One night, we get our opportunity and head down the the lakefront at dusk. Well, we climb up on one of the tables and start getting frisky. In short order, she has her pants off and so do I and they we are, going at it. Suddenly she stiffens up and stops and says to me, "look over there, but slowly." I turn my head to see a rather large brown bear no more than 30 ft away, going thru the garbage can. I remember thinking, "damn, even nature is against us getting it on this week." We very quietly and slowly gathered our clothes, then ran to the car and drove away before the bear decided he was more interested in us than the trash. | |
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| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 11/22/2006 6:07:33 PM | | I was 17 at the time. Me and my b/f were at his house. He had told me that his dad was to be away for the night. We smoked a dubie or two and were making out on the couch. Well it got pretty feisty and now we are on the floor. Laughing and biting and just having a great old time. Music was cranked so it was pretty loud. Turn my head to see his father walking in the door well he is pounding me from behind. What a nice position to be caught in. Well i jumped up so fast I hurt my b/f a bit. Ran into the bathroom. Would not come out because I left all my clothes in the living room. Finally my b/f brings them to me and tells me to come on out. Take a little while longer and finally come out to realize that his father was not alone he had friends with him. Turned the deepest shade of red and flew out of that house. It was months before I could actually sit and have a conversation with his father. | |
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| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 11/22/2006 6:10:07 PM | | First thing you have to understand is that my dad was a compulsive car washer. That's the background info. So I'm with my high-school g/f having sex in my car and once done, I toss the condom out the window like I always do. Drove her home, went home myself and went to bed. Next morning I wake up and my dad has just finished washing and polishing my car for me, leaving untouched the used condom still dangling over the mirror on the passenger door! | |
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| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 11/23/2006 11:48:01 AM | | A HUGE ASS RABBIT hopping around the room while it all went down.. hahahah... Thats all you could hear was the rabbits nails on the wood flooring hahahah | |
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| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 11/23/2006 1:55:12 PM | | ok well me and this girl friend of mine were all high driving around downtown in our city. she decides to get all freaky and strips and starts playing with herself and so i join in helping out.anyways she starts putting her naked ass against the window and mind ya she is very nice on the eyes. i am trying to drive but i havent seen anyone staring wich was odd figured everyone would be staring so now she is grinding on the windshield i am petting her privates. so we get to worked up need somwhere to go we finally go to her friends house she hops out all necked we find no one home so now we r in her friends back yard hot and horny so we start going at it in there backyard then in a couple minutes we realized well where we were wasnt the best spot so we started going from spot to spot in her friends backyard that isnt home needless to say she was one of my freekiest girlfriends but o so much fun | |
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| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 11/23/2006 2:34:22 PM | | I sometimes giggle quite a bit...the other night I yelled "I can't believe you touched me! You **stard!" to my boyfriend...his hands were *REALLY* freaking cold and he knew it. I didn't mean for it to come out like THAT...but we laughed quite a bit about it. | |
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Coeur7
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Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 45 | |
| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 11/23/2006 4:21:51 PM | omg you guys...this is the best forum yet
I can honestly say that I have never had any severe sexually embarrassing moments! YAY me!
....oh wait...bad flash back....My ex and I were doing the deed and he literatley stopped to fart....and I'm not talkin' a "slight toot" here (he actually concentrated n' everything!!)....wow attractive.....actually it was hilarious. He IS my ex for a reason though,that's obvious. | |
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| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 11/23/2006 5:32:09 PM | I have a TON of funny stories but the first one that I will share is: I was getting a hummer from this girl and lemme tell you ... She gives incredible blowjobs and really tries to make it last and such and I was just loving it. Like all good things though they come to an end and, always being a heavy cummer, blast off like anti-aircraft fire(as per usual) but this time it's so much and coming out so fast and that fires into the back of her mouth and comes out her nose!!!
Both nostrils!
I nearly wet myself laughing... it took her a while to get the sting to go away but then she started to laugh too. | |
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| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 11/23/2006 6:55:46 PM | | Had a boyfriend that use to work out of town. I would drive up to visit him at the hotel room he shared with a few other guys on his crew. The other guys went out for supper and him and I stayed behind to 'say hello' to each other. Things went on a little longer than we intended. Just finished up, about to jump out of bed and track down my clothes (are strewn about everywhere) when door swings open and most of his crew walks in. I don't think that I have ever jumped under covers again so fast in my life. Anyone else ever have to try to convince a group of riggers to give them back their underwear?? | |
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| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 11/23/2006 6:59:53 PM | New years Eve......far drunker than we should be...
having a grand ole time...le leans down to kiss me at the same time I started to get-off and thrash a bit....caught him in the nose and bloodied it. Then I had the worse case of the giggles...took him about 5 minutes to find it funny too..... | |
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| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 11/23/2006 7:16:13 PM | This was actually just a week ago or 2...
well me and my bf have a really nice spot we go to at night where theres barely anyyy cars... actually there's none.. its an area.. construction like.. and where u park.. all that surronds u is water....
well one night we went.. was doing are thing.. and then noticed lights coming from behind..
they looked like cop lights so i was like... omg.. clothes quick!..!
for some reason i couldnt find my pants.. HAHAHAHA i cant even type right now...
anywho... apparently it wasnt a cop just some random truck.. and my pants... well what do you know.. he's wearin them... LMFAO!!!!!!!!!... i turn the lights on .. and look down.. im like wait.. are those my pants O_O.. and he's like.. No WOnder they feel so tight!!! HAAHHAHA
<3 man that was a funny night...
some other funny experiences. include ice....:D | |
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Jditty
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Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 50 | |
| Funny sexual experiences
Posted: 11/23/2006 11:22:47 PM | Oh God...
I was at this party, it was winding down in the wee hours of the morning..I ended up with this girl on a couch in the basement..
Well one thing led to another, and she was really enjoying herself...I had a hand full of her rear when she climaxed...a little too close to the business end (if you know what I mean).
Yes, she crapped a bit...on my her friends white couch. I almost barfed, but managed to maintain my composure. Discreetly wiped my hand on the couch (WHAT ELSE COULD I DO?) and got outta there as soon as possible (straight to the bathroom to scrub and scald myself). I'm not sure she noticed, and I was not there when the sun came up to survey the damage, thank God.
You can only flip a couch cushion so many times...I hope Granny doesn't come over this Christmas... | |
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......put your neck back.....OMG!!! I think I'm having an asthma attack from laughing!!! 
