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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/19/2006 7:33:02 AM | I currently, am very overweight. I was dealing with a very sick father, and he passed on October. During the 10 years that he was sick, yes I've packed on a lot of weight. I just started eating better and excercising, and since January I've dropped 50 pounds. It seems like the only guys that have asked me out in the past have been drug addicts, and people that are just sex-starved. I'm cool with being single, and having fun. But why is it that women get stereotyped into a category when they are overweight? Even when I am skinny, I might get hit on more, but thats not the kind of attention that I ever want.
I am a very giving person. I work 40 hours a week at a children's hospital, and volunteer a lot of the rest of the time. I'm a people person, and do have a lot of friends, but I've just never had a boyfriend. It's weird, but I do get the guys that tell me if I lost some weight then I'd be one hot mama. Why can't they just accept me for who I am, rather than what I could be. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/19/2006 8:07:46 AM | I was overweight when I got married. When we met I was a size 12 and when we married I was in a size 24!! It didn't matter to him because he honestly out right loved me from when we met to even now when we are no longer together. I have went down since my past marriage to him, not to rub it in his face or what have you but for myself because it was becomming a health issue for me. Walking up stairs and things would nearly cause me to pass out and I just didn't want to die because of the weight so I did something about it. And, Im still doing something about it lol.
Society will always snub the over weight or anyone who is diffrent that fall sort of what they classify as what the "Normal" is. Because of this intolerence and horriable diesease if you will has spread like wild fire and so we feel less good about ourselves and allow others to call us out on our flaws as society has wanted. Sorta like that keep them all divided thing. It seemes since being back on the dating scene and gosh its been 10yrs since I last had to do this , many things have changed. It seemes people lack any real substance to them, they forgot anything about morals or ethics and dumped their brain in the nearest trash can. The standards are unbelievable. My friend said its almost like you have to be Kate Moss thin, No brains and spread yourself like a whore. It just stunned me. To me it should not matter if I had to choose Brain over braun or beauty, It would deffinatly be brains. Cause beauty eventually leaks and all your left with is a pile of crap that use to look good, and although one may have brute strength you still have no brains in which to carry on a good conversation outside of your braun.
I did lose the weight but not show the other half of what they lost, What was really good is my ex had said noone will ever want me because Iam way to colorful and a huge free spirit. Well he realized that he was very wrong when other people started wanting my company or getting to know me, and for him to see that other people out there turely accepted me for all the things he could not it started making him a little sore so to speak.
Karma is funny but very honest, cause every now and then I can tell he misses me, but yanno that is alright cause someone else now gets to enjoy and accpet me fully and not miss on out on a great person and a unique individual.. Its the person's inside that counts more than the outside. If you can fall in love with their Mind and heart then the rest shall follow all at once . I say don't be like the rest of the mindless mass who believe there has to be restirctions to things. Make up your own mind and follow your own heart.. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/19/2006 8:12:09 AM | | I am in the process of loosing weight through Weight Watchers. There are some guys on this site that will only date women who are rake thin. Those are the guys that I don't want to date even after I loose all the weight. The way I look at it is that it is their loss not mind. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/19/2006 8:30:37 AM | First of all congrats to all the people out their diligently working on getting healthy for their OWN reasons and timeline, it is hard work, but well worth the effort and you will be proud of yourselves when you succeed... 
I just take issue with one statement made by daturadeath, in an otherwise very heartfelt post:
Society will always snub the over weight or anyone who is diffrent that fall sort of what they classify as what the "Normal" is.
Yes society can snub people that fall outside of the normal demographic, but let's not forget that obesity has a health connotation that far exceeds the social stigma... You said it yourself, you almost passed out going up a flight of stairs.
That is FAR FROM NORMAL for ANY human being (no particular insult intended), that is a severe problem. What on Earth would you do if you happened to be stranded due to a car break-down on an isolated stretch of road, and the nearest gas station was 10 miles away? Most "normal" people would be able to walk, at that level of obesity, you would most likely drop dead after fifty paces... 
If you're going to lose weight, do it because you want to get healthy and regain your mobility/independence, not because you want to get a date or keep one (that will come later anyway).
I simply cannot believe how many North Americans would perish if left stranded to their own devices in the wild for a day or two in their current physical condition, clearly the advancements of technology have brought us nearly as many problems as they have solutions...  | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/19/2006 9:50:49 AM | Okay I have to comment about this....
" I just take issue with one statement made by daturadeath, in an otherwise very heartfelt post:
Society will always snub the over weight or anyone who is diffrent that fall sort of what they classify as what the "Normal" is.
Yes society can snub people that fall outside of the normal demographic, but let's not forget that obesity has a health connotation that far exceeds the social stigma..."
No she happens to be correct Society does snub the "over weight or anyone who is different that fall short of what they classify as what the normal is."
That her level of weight created a health condition wasnt remotely part of the issue she was discussing. Not to mention there is a huge difference between overweight and obese and the issue she raises applies across that scale.
I agree with you about the rest of your posts for the most part save that most of those who would perish, would not be because of their physical condition but their lack of common knowledge. THAT is a far greater threat then any caused by obesity in my opinion. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/19/2006 1:20:41 PM | Ah... FireKnight... My old nemesis we meet again... 
Everytime there's a weight-related thread I show up commenting about health, you show up commenting about persecution and exclusion... It seems we shall forever be interlocked in this battle of the bulge (pardon the pun).
You mention that the overweight have been snubbed by society (and if you read my post carefully, I did not discount that), yet here's a brief excerpt of her opinion on "the norm":
It seemes people lack any real substance to them, they forgot anything about morals or ethics and dumped their brain in the nearest trash can. The standards are unbelievable. My friend said its almost like you have to be Kate Moss thin, No brains and spread yourself like a whore. It just stunned me.
Sounds like she's doing a fair bit of snubbing herself, effectively labeling the "norm" majority as a group of thin, vapid, unethical and promiscuous tramps... 
I never said the norm was thin (you can be thin and severely unhealthy if you don't exercise), I'm just saying the norm for human kind was not intended to be obese... How many fat monkeys do you see swinging from the trees? Just because we've moved out of the jungle and become sedentary doesn't mean our bodies don't need exercise and activity to maintain healthy functions, and I don't care HOW big-boned you are predispositioned, a size 24 just isn't healthy by ANY standard...
I'm not here to rag on you, the poster I quoted, or obese people in general, I'm just trying to say that regardless of the shape you're born to, everyone should exercise to some degree just to keep themselves healthy... (and mobile!)  | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/19/2006 2:17:48 PM | I do so Tiger only because while your posts hold much value, they also lack frankly enough medical perspective. It's great to say "obese is unhealthy you need for your own health and happiness to do something about it" And quite another to say "You are overweight and therefore you are obese" And yet another to say "You are overwieght and/or obese and therefor to be a social pariah lest you get some mystic overwieght cells on me" I joke but then again I don't. There is a serious disconnect between what is percieved and what is real.
As far as the norm for human kind goes my friend I have a very suprising answer for you. We really don't know what the human norm is supposed to be. We have theories, we have studies, we have notions but the reality is we do not know. We are still trying to figure out why the Human body is tuned to a 25 hour day internal clock instead of the 24. I really could go on but the point is really fairly simple. People are making judgments on incredibly shaky information following our most base instincts and people need to be aware they are doing it in order to change it. Health is not the primary reason involved although as I said I agree with you it would be better if it were.
To the "norm" majority comment speaking as a student of history, a trained clinical observer, and being totally honest. She's right the norm is Vapid unethical and promiscuous tramps, Thin however is up for debate. Still people have choices as to how much they want to be the lower part of society or not.
I have two words for you Koala bear. two more Panda Bear. 
I couldn't resist sorry.
I don't feel ragged on I just want you to realize there is more invovled then just size. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/19/2006 5:43:10 PM | I for one think bigger women are nice and attractive and i seem to have always been alittle more into them then someone who is thin.
Offcourse no matter how beautiful a woman is, if she has a negatove attitude and is judgmental , shallow and uncaring then that ruins everyting and that takes away ANY outer beauty that she has. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/26/2006 7:42:41 PM | I don't particularly care to fly economy class and be assigned to sit next to someone whose body spills out of their seat and squishes me in my seat!
G. U. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/26/2006 8:53:32 PM | | wow!!! so many posts on this subject. im a lady who is a bit cuddly. and i dont know if anyone has given my perspective, were so many posts to read and couldnt get through all of them. i found when i was a bit slimmer i got so much attention from guys, but still do. but i got a bit tired of being perved on and guys only seeing me as sex object. so i have put a bit of weight on. its cut down the number of guys perving. ok i dont know what kind of responses i will get to this. i know its normal for guys to find women visually appealing and everything. but now i feel my extra little bit of padding is giving me some protection, against too much attention. it might sound sad. what i am saying. but i am happy and not interested in sex until i find mr right. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 12/12/2006 6:05:52 PM | | What has weight got to do with it? Some guys like skinny girls some prefer bigger girls...the important thing is whats on the inside. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 12/12/2006 6:21:04 PM | I was a decent weight when I got married but still on the thick side.... I maintained a decent weight for many years.... then a broken leg, a baby and a major back problem took it's toll.... i gained about 60 pounds, we stayed together... he gained weight also....... then he decided to divorce me to marry some white trash girl 30 years younger them him........ after the divorce he is down about 50 pounds butu I think it is cause she spends all his $ and he can't afford to eat..... LOL.... i have lost about 20# since the divorce but i wouldn't loose just to spite someone and say well look at me now..... I know I am an awesome person fat or thin.  | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 12/13/2006 10:37:31 AM | At 5'2" I weighed more than 250 pounds and was a size 24. I hated myself at that weight. I had zero self-esteem. And getting around was difficult.
Today I weigh 135 and wear a size 6. There is no way I could ever put into words how much better I feel about myself. And THAT is what attracts people. Not my body alone. I have been fat and I have been thin. I will take thin any day.
I have kept the weight off for 10 years. I like myself today. I can look people in the eye. I can walk up that flight of stairs today without breathing hard. I could walk that 10 miles if my car broke down.
Whether we like it or not, society does judge us based on our weight and how we look. That is reality. Someone said in a different thread that I read the other day that even fat people aren't attracted to fat people. I have to generally agree with that statement. I know that I want to be with a man that can keep up with me. I want to be with someone who doesn't plan his life around the next meal. I want to be with a man that cares enough about himself to try to stay in fairly good shape, just as I do. I MUST be physically attracted to him in order for a relationship to begin. There are other things that are as important as one's physical appearance, but one's physical appearance is also important to me.
Some people have a medical condition for why they can't seem to lose weight. Most don't. I was fat because I ate too much and didn't exercise. That is the bottom line. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 12/13/2006 10:53:08 AM | A few years ago i was dating a guy who was 'chubby'
I didn't like it at all, when we made love all I could feel was a big fat belly wobbling up and down on me
He said he'd lose weight but he was too lazy to go to the gym even though he passed it every night on his way home from work
In the end it ruined the relationship | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/8/2007 12:12:02 PM | | I am more overweight than most people. Due to health problems beyond my control I got up to 750 pounds. I told my ex-husband the day he left me that I would lose the weight and show him. When I first started out on my weight loss journey it was to show him, but all that has changed. I am doing it for me and no one else now. As of this morning I now weigh 489 pounds. I have lost 261 pounds and I know I will make it to goal. I have come to far to turn back now. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/8/2007 12:19:12 PM | | Weight is only an issue for those who are not into it, but be not suprised at how many love an overweight lover. Beauty is in the heart, the personality, the soul. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/8/2007 12:22:11 PM | My skinny guy likes me just the way I am, but I HAVE lost 20 pounds so far since I started hanging out with him; we, umm, sweat a lot.
Fry | |
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Karen5
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Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 446 | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/8/2007 12:37:31 PM | | Plain and simple I would not date an over weight person they are not healthy, If they dont have enough self esteem to get in shape then I am not intrested. Bottom line its not healthy, they will live a shorter life, thier heart has to work that much harder, and they are much more suceptable to deseases like diabetes, this is what I cant understand is why because of sheer laziness they would risk thier health, if you dont have health you got nothing, and when I am looking for a potential mate I want her to be around for a long time, and being healthy, not smoking, and height weight prportionate is a good start!! | |
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PHK
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Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 448 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/8/2007 12:44:32 PM | My former boyfriend's weight fluctuated 70 pounds while we were dating (and no, it wasn't a strict loss or gain)
A very close relative also has had a big weight fluctuation (120 to nearly 400)
I agree that you love someone for who they are
That said, I am not interested in maintaining relationships with people with destructive behaviors. In other words, when they get too skinny, I encourage them to put some weight on - and when they get too heavy, I'm supportive for them to reach a healthy weight again. Most of the time it's not a simple body image but some emotional or mental health issues. If they want to stay in an unhealthy state, after a while, I leave | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/8/2007 12:53:56 PM | | not true bob........i prefer a man to be a man with a certain chunkiness about him......wotever her/his size....honesty is a MUST!!! take care xx | |
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