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EC22
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Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 451 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/8/2007 1:07:50 PM | IMO there is a huge difference between being somewhat overweight and obese. I would date a woman that is 20-25 lbs overweight. I have seen attractive women in that weight range. However I would not date someone who is 75-100 lbs over their ideal weight. I'm just not attracted to that and being that much overweight can cause health problems.
THERE ARE MANY MEDICAL REASONS FOR OBESITY.
1- HEART PROBLEMS. YES, CARDIOMYOPATHY CAUSES WATER RETENTION = BIG TIME.
2- DIABETES
3- THYROID IMBALANCES
4- SLOW METABOLISM
These things can apply to some obese people, but IMO I don't think it applies to all, most or the majority of obese people.
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/9/2007 11:23:22 AM | | I am not denying the fact that overweight people have alot of health issues.We can't ignore them for sure. I am though learning that lots of different people who may look healthy out side are just as sick as us who are overweight. From the ones that don't eat at all and exercise to skelaton figure, or eat and throwup to the ones that drink themselves into a drunken stooper every night. We all have issues that may cause health problems. As far as being attratcted to someone well that has to is up to an indidvidual. We all have a need to love someone and be loved. I just hope that the outter body isn't and issue to the innner heart of a person. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/9/2007 7:36:38 PM | | my bf and I are a bit overweight and it been a week where we cut back on junk foods and eat healthy and 5 days a week after work we have been walking like 30 mins at 5 am and let me tell you it been a week and I feel so good and honestly my clothes feel loser maybe is the water weight and yes I love dancing at home so I want to put in atlease 15 mins in my dancing before excercies, I am 39 and want to get back my figure and I said this before but fail because I was to hard on myself and starving myself which was worng.I dont care to lose like 60 pds right now even 30 pds till october like keeping a small goal. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/19/2007 4:20:42 PM | First, congrats to nice_shy_girl...and good luck with the continuing weight loss! I've dated both thin and heavier guys and I have to say I prefer a guy with muscles or some extra poundage to the skinny ones. I used to be really thin, then struggled with my weight over the years from quitting and restarting smoking. When I was young thin and hot, I SO didn't appreciate it! But now I'm older n' wiser, financially secure, in great shape heart/blood pressure/and most otehr ways and almost every day I read about some health nut who dropped dead at the gym during a workout! Plus I'm happier with life than I've ever been so...
...wait. If I lost weight I'd be really happy AND hot? Crap... | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/19/2007 4:47:32 PM | | I sincerely have no problem with dating a person that is overweight. I am still overweight and all I can say is be happy. Enjoy life and people. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 7/16/2007 4:38:00 AM |
Every time I see the words "attractive" "average looking" etc, makes me wonder, by who's standards. I have never thought that Brad Pitt, Usher, or most of the other "sex symbols" were attractive. Pretty boys with all that goop in their hair are also not my preference. I prefer the rugged Sam Elliot type with the gravely voices etc. Some would call them unrefined etc. Just as personal as people's opinions on what is considered average weight. I think that the term HWP is more appropriate when people who are 20lbs and more over weight are calling themselves "average". Very sickening, but these days, obese is pretty much average.
I think John Goodman is incredibly sexy. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 7/16/2007 8:39:29 AM | no. and no. i mean, im overweight, but i like my shape... if someone didnt want to date meh because i have big thighs, hips, ass what ever... i wouldnt loose the weight just because THEY didnt want meh...
why... i know a lot of guys who DO want meh just like i am. | |
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vosche
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Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 458 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 7/16/2007 10:12:10 AM | forget loosing weight in the hopes of attracting a mate while you get healthy..show me the fountain of youth!!
i've lost 45 lbs and working on loosing more for myself. the only person it matters to is me, myself, and i. it sure isnt getting me any extra attention from a potential mate. i couldnt even get a one night stand from a bar i went to, nor did any of it matter when i threw away my morals to agree to meet a man who told me he wasnt looking for a girlfriend or anything long term..just sex buddies. i offered him a sure thing and a free meal and i was still give every excuse in the book as to why he couldnt meet me..the only excuse he didnt use on me was the woman's standard "i gotta [go] wash my hair" when its so obvious its just a kiss-off excuse same as when women use it as an exit excuse. i bet if i was 20 something he'd have found time and made more effort!
heck ya i'm bitter...give men what they say they want and they dont even want THAT!
pfffffffffft | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 7/16/2007 10:24:10 AM | I'm not going to go around starving myself just to get a man... I'm overweight... sure.. and I'm 48 years old. I do not like to exercise, I love to cook... I ride horses, kayak, fish, hunt, ride motorcycles, I've white water rafted, traveled.. I make people laugh alot and enjoy doing it. If a person does not want to be with me because of my weight.. then they can kiss my fat azz.. I do not crae... it is their loss for not knowing me even if just for a friend. I do not care, and I'll eventually loose weight again.. and the guys I'll ignore.. the idiots who thought I had just too many pounds on me!!! Like I said, who the heck gives a flying rats azz??? Not me.. I have a life and I'm happy as a little pig in slop!!! (no punt intended) LOL | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 7/16/2007 11:36:37 AM | I maintain my body for my own personal well being and inner pride.
OK - I admit - I do like those school reunions, though :) | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 7/30/2007 10:02:14 PM | Just curious...all these guys who go on and on in the forums and profiles about wanting someone slim and fit, are you really naive enough to believe that the woman will STILL be slim and fit after she has had a couple of kids, is working full-time and running and household with little time to go to the gym? Or let's say she has an accident and can't work out or a health problem that causes her to gain weight, what then? What do you plan to do when your wife is no longer slim and fit...dump her for a slimmer model? Would you be okay with it if she dumped you if you put on some pounds or when you gain a few more wrinkles than you have now?
As I said, these comments fascinate me and I am curious. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 7/30/2007 10:16:20 PM | I suppose I just want to date men who are interested in me for who I am - if they don't like my current weight, then I don't want to date them right now. BUT, on the other hand, because I am working out with a trainer and actively losing weight, the last thing in the world that I would want is someone who REALLY likes BBWs and would resist/sabotage my attempts at weight loss. I think that this can be challenging for those of us who are in the process of weight loss, as some who are 'willing' to date the overweight actually prefer it.  | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 7/31/2007 6:31:20 PM | I read every post in all 19 pages, because this subject fascinates me.
I believe the OP asked the question "would you"...
My answer would be yes I would, and have.
On the other hand, it is a lifestyle choice. Just as people come in all colors, they also come in all shapes, and just because someone is overweight, or obese, does not mean they do or do not live a certain lifestyle.
However, we all know and understand that the majority of what would be considered those things, are considered those things due to daily choices.
So I believe a claification on the OP question is in order:
Would you date an overweight or obese person, and become acclimated in the lifestyle they choose, choose to attempt a change in said lifestyle. If you are not considering the lifestyle of a person you are dating, then you are not thinking about much more than a one-nighter.
For the majority, physical attributes with regards to weight are a result of lifestyle. This does not mean a large person may not have changed their lifestyle, and are just still large, but working towards something better.
It should go unwritten, if I am working out weekly, and doing activities for the reason of attaining a more fit self, I will be looking for someone doing the same.
In the end, I hope all BBW and men are OK with themselves, and find what they are seeking, they should not be suprised if members of society do snub them. Some things are facts of life, you must accept them and move on. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 7/31/2007 8:12:02 PM | | sometimes a woman's weight is medical. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, and it keeps me fat. I eat right, go to the gym alot and can run but I am still over weight. From my experience, fat girls don't get love. It is just a fact of life. I don't know why the F**K I am on here but what the hell. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 7/31/2007 9:00:39 PM |  Well I have been both at one time or another, I was at one time over 200 pounds to be honest I have never had it a problem with dating. I have dated skinny guys, fat guys, guys that were so inlove with them selves they couldn't pass a mirror, the bottom line is the Spark. personalities. I thinkI read somewhere in one of these threads that when you are under the covers who cares. I think the problem that deters someone not dating a fat person is their attitude towards themselved. I mean If I all heard was I am sorry for the way I look" junk,,, I am going to be thinking about a way to leave with out hurting them,
I think the most important thing is do you click period, If not it isn't going to matter how good or ugly you look.
When I am interested in someone one of the first things after the spark hits, can he keep up with me on a hike. Is he even willing to try?, Can he get off the Sofa Long enough to walk outside? Is his diet so poor that am I going to give him a heart attack if I hugg or kiss him, If these things come up with a no, then I will seriously entertian the thought of going out with him, | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/1/2007 1:01:24 PM | goodbyegirl, I totally understand b/c I have PCOS as well. I have been on just about every diet known to man, and exercised like a trojan, and it still didn't come off. I had to get on medication, and b/c of it, I have lost some weight, although it's definitely not enough to make me thin. I think it's harder for bigger women to find acceptance and love b/c of all the stigma and ignorant stereotypes related to being fat, but it's not impossible. I have a friend who is a lot larger than myself who has a much more vibrant dating life than I do. She beats the men off with a stick, and she very much has a vast array of choices, so she is by no means desperate.
To melting, I understand what you're saying, but I don't think that BBWs or anyone else are "surprised" at the snubs by society. We all desire to be loved and accepted, and this fact is what makes the stigma of fat in dating more difficult to deal with. If you're having to live with it, you'll know it's irritating, and we all have a right to our feelings, even if they don't change the world. Yes, it's a fact of life, but it doesn't make it right, and it doesn't mean that we should give up on the love we desire.
Maybe those of us who have endured being on this side of the fence take it as a learning lesson to bring more acceptance and depth to this world, and not forget the lessons from our experiences if we are able to make it to the other side. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/1/2007 4:07:07 PM | Well, I have to say...I am surprised and impressed with the number of men who have said yes to this topic. It certainly hits close to home with me.
There was a time in my life when I weighed over 330 lbs. I was miserable, depressed, and tired of being 'used' by men, so I gave up and quit caring about myself for a long time. There were a lot of men who wouldn't even acknowledge I existed when I was enormously obese. They refused to even be friends. One day I woke up and realized what I had done to myself and vowed to make a change for ME. To date, I have lost over 150 lbs. I've lost 20 lbs. so far this year, and plan to be down another 20 lbs. by next summer. No surgery, no pills; I am doing it the long, hard way. I have 40 lbs left to go to get to where I want to be. I still get overlooked by alot of men who see where I am, do not know where I've been, and can't see where I'm going. THEIR LOSS!! I also have men who used to ignore me and look down on me, trying to flirt with me now. They don't even realize they once knew me. LOL Now I look at them and think...they aren't good enough for me! I am far from being conceited, I know I still have a ways to go, but if you treated me like dirt when I was extremely heavy, you can bet that I'm not going to give you the time of day now. And that goes for the men now who see the 40 lbs I still have to lose and dismiss me as a human being. I try to be kind to everyone I meet because I have learned from experience that you never know who that person you have deemed a 'loser', based on their physical appearance, is going to turn out to be someday in the future. Your comments and actions may very well come back to bite you one day. LOL
On a side note, when I got down to around 250 lbs I met a man who was crazy about me. He loved my weight and got VERY upset when I continued to lose weight. He tried everything he could to not only keep me from losing any more weight, but to gain weight back! These days, I ask anyone who is seriously interested in dating me if they would still be willing to be with me if I gained or lost 40 lbs. If the answer is no in either direction, he is not the person for me. Accept me for who I am on the inside, because this body is still a work in progress!!!  | |
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dpd22
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Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 468 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/1/2007 7:38:02 PM | I have read many posts on this thread and other threads about weight. It seems like many people think weight shouldn't matter or a man is shallow if he doesn't date fat women. Those things aren't necessary true. Many men might be friends with fat women, but aren't physically attracted to them. There needs to some attraction for a relationship. Everyone is attracted ( or not attracted ) to certain things. Some other men are attracted to fat women. Some people are attracted to a certain race or hairstyle. Many women ( including some fat women ) aren't attracted to short men, fat men, or bald men.
If a woman complains that men aren't attracted to her weight, then she should attempt to lose weight. Some people do have a medical condition, but weight is controllable for most people. The percentage of overweight and obese people has increased the past 20-30 years largely because many people don't exercise enough and have a poor diet. If anything, not dating a person because of weight is less 'shallow' than not dating a person because of other physical attributes. A person can't control their race, height, or being bald.
Some people seem to think if a man isn't attracted to fat women, then he only likes thin women or fit / athletic women. Not always true. He might like average women or women who are somewhat overweight, but not obese. Some other people will state that fat people are nicer than thin people and thin people are generally rude, self centered, high maintenance, shallow, materalistic snobs. It is wrong to stereotype any body type whether it's thin people, fat people, or anything in between. There are nice people and rude people from all body types. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/1/2007 7:40:56 PM | | I've been rejected by fat chicks. And also dumped one that was chunky in my "shallow Hal " days. What goes around comes around. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/1/2007 8:40:55 PM | | No one has answered my question yet. Most women will gain weight after they have kids. With juggling the demands of work, housekeeping and childcare, it's tough for women to get to the gym at every phase of life. So, when you marry a woman and she gains weight (and chances are she will), what do you plan to do, dump her? | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/1/2007 8:41:50 PM |
It seems like many people think weight shouldn't matter or a man is shallow if he doesn't date fat women.
The problem is not that a person is not attracted to someone because of their weight ( or some other physical attribute.) The problem is when they refuse to even acknowledge that you exist because of your weight. When they ignore any thing you say and continue to talking to else everyone around, when they act like they've never seen you before and never remember your name when you've been hanging out in the same group for months or years, when you say hello and they look at you like you're a disgusting bug and walk away without a word, they are simply being rude and a jerk. I have had all those things happen to me before. More than once. Now I am 'acceptable' to them and they want to flirt? I have no interest. Not wanting to date someone who is overweight is fine and understandable, but it doesn't give anyone the right to be downright rude to an overweight person. Yes, people CAN do something about their weight and appearance ...I did and I am still am. Which was exactly my point. | |
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dpd22
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Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 472 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/1/2007 9:05:48 PM | The problem is not that a person is not attracted to someone because of their weight ( or some other physical attribute.) The problem is when they refuse to even acknowledge that you exist because of your weight. When they ignore any thing you say and continue to talking to else everyone around, when they act like they've never seen you before and never remember your name when you've been hanging out in the same group for months or years, when you say hello and they look at you like you're a disgusting bug and walk away without a word, they are simply being rude and a jerk. I have had all those things happen to me before. More than once. Now I am 'acceptable' to them and they want to flirt? I have no interest. Not wanting to date someone who is overweight is fine and understandable, but it doesn't give anyone the right to be downright rude to an overweight person. Yes, people CAN do something about their weight and appearance ...I did and I am still am. Which was exactly my point.
I completely agree with this. It is wrong to be rude or disrespectfully to a person just because he/she is fat. My previous comments weren't specifically directed at you. My previous comments were a general response to some of the posts that I have read here. | |
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Deni30
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Joined: 5/29/2007
Msg: 473 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/1/2007 10:09:08 PM | I have a serious problem with people who complain or offer their opinions on ANYBODY else's weight as I fail to see how if it is not YOUR problem- how is it YOUR business? Why do you care? I don't go on and on about how disgusted I am about some general attribute of yours? There are many things that disgust me in other people but for me it is a private and brief observance- not a public rant I complain about as though a personal cause! Get a life!
I am going to guarantee I am MORE active than MOST people. I work out 4 x a week minimum from 30 min -2 hours and do yoga EVERYDAY. I am confident in who I am regardless of my clothing size.
I defy any stereotype you have about overweight people- I date a lot, have men interested in me daily and eat health food for the most part. I am overweight so I am able to say that for me, I’d rather be a few sizes smaller. I’m working on it. But I personally would never want to be skinny. I don’t give a damn who agrees if that’s what’s best for me because who is anybody to say what is best for me other than myself?
I have dated men who are slightly over-weight and don't care too much about a six-pack myself- I'm more interested in the total package a person presents and true confidence.
I wish that people would worry more about themselves rather than projecting negativity and judgments on others. The only life you really know about is your own- and unless you're a scientist- you don't know squat about obesity.
PS
Here's an interesting NOVA about obesity for any who might care to view
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/sciencenow/3313/03.html
Peace, Love and Happiness :)
Denise | |
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Diva64
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 474 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:01:36 AM | ^^^^^^^ NUFF SAID!!!
as for you EC22 you really don't find me attractive?????? WOW, that hurts!
I'd like to make a comment on what I think of you and your body(as if it's ANY of my business)........but you don't have a pic up...........hmmmmmmm | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:18:11 AM | Y R u asking us this? if ur interested in someone overwt what r u seeing their form or their heart..i say go for the heart afta all they can lose the wt easier than u can ditch the shallow attitude...dont mean to be cruel but may i ask 'how does it feel' | |
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