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 ShesComeUndone
Joined: 11/17/2005
Msg: 26
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dating an overweight person?Page 2 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)

Love me...love my bodyfat ratio...if you can't, it's your issue, not going to make it mine.

Great point!

I lost over 230lbs and people I'd known YEARS, including family, couldn't pick me out of a small crowd. The reaction of people was amazing.. it changed some people though, how, I don't know.. didn't change too much about me (other than health and pants size).
The people I'd been interested in when I was fat were interested in me then and it was pretty cool-- they had no luck.

When I met my ex I was still losing weight. He couldn't believe how small I got while being with him. I got pregnant and gained the weight and he loved it, didn't want it to go away.
I've lost 80lbs since I was pregnant and he saw me for the first time in four months, he was surprised at how fast I could change.

I have to ask.. are you interested in large women? It seems like you are and you are searching for some type of answer.. it's okay to like large women, ya know!
 SweetPeaJulia
Joined: 11/25/2005
Msg: 27
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 12/25/2005 7:37:29 PM
I had never had a weight problem but when i was taking Depakote I gained 20 lbs in a very short time. i noticed my bf at the time and everyone treating me different. It was so hurtful. I'm kind of cynical of people because of that even though I'm slim again.
 justinakrfc
Joined: 7/10/2005
Msg: 28
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 12/25/2005 7:55:54 PM
The thing about online dating...is that, if someone isn't necessarily into someone who's overweight, they can do the instant rejection, without getting to know the other person, which while it isn't fair, is a fact of life. It's much easier to do it online than in public, because doing it in public makes you look like a bad person. Transfer this scenario to a public spot, an overweight person engages a person who isn't overweight into conversation, and the next thing you know, that person isn't even thinking about the weight issue. Which is why, while there are benefits to online dating, there are disadvantages that are greater than in the real world.

 londonbob
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 29
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 12/27/2005 5:04:07 PM
My view

A woman will date a slim dishonest guy
but not a fat honest one.
 Rhett1
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 30
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 12/27/2005 9:12:57 PM
Shescomeundone...230 pounds!!! Good for you!!! I am trying to lose, as well, it's coming off slowly, but surely.
 ShesComeUndone
Joined: 11/17/2005
Msg: 31
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History
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 12/29/2005 8:16:43 AM
Has anyone noticed that there are QUITE a few overweight people have no problem with their size and think (how.. I dunno) that they are the same as everyone else?
These are the people that have rolls that could feed pilgrims and wear spandex..
Thank God I was never like that. I knew I was fat, obese, gross..
Now I feel overweight but it's just a state of mind. I'm big, I'm always gonna be big.
I had a point.. PROMISE-- I DID!!

Anyways, thanks for the congrats. It's harder to keep it off than it is to lose it!
 Keljo
Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 32
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 12/29/2005 8:22:03 AM
I used to be my ideal weight....until last year when medical problems caused me to gain weight.

I had maintained my ideal weight just to taunt all the guys who blew me off and were now chasing me because they weren't happy with the girls they were with.

Now, I am working on getting back to my ideal weight. When I say idea, I mean a healthy ideal set by my doctor, not an ideal set by society. I just don't have the bone structire to be a size 2!

the point is....a person's weight might be medical. You never know until you get to know the person for who s/her is.

However, if someone is just a slob who doesn't care about themselves and is therefor overweight is another story. If they don't care about themselves, how can they care about you?
 Racer71
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 33
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 12/29/2005 8:29:42 AM
never dated any overweight girls.. The "biggest" girl that I've been with was 5'5"/125 lbs...
 good n plenty
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 34
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 12/29/2005 8:40:03 AM
I once lost 195 pounds of ugly fat !!
I divorced her fat ass.
And never gained it back !
 Keljo
Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 35
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 12/29/2005 8:46:39 AM
If you think 5'5" and 125lbs is 'big' you have issues!
 truetoself
Joined: 11/15/2005
Msg: 36
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 12/29/2005 8:47:03 AM
My wife gained a lot of wieght over the years, I still loved her just as much. With encouragment and support she lost the wieght. It has helped her to be more possitive in some parts of her life.
 IslandJeepGurl
Joined: 4/21/2005
Msg: 37
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 12/29/2005 10:38:00 PM
Ok Heres the thing! Its all fine and dandy for guys to say that "bigger" girls are fine to date, but honestly how many of you are actually being honest? I've found in my search that guys are fine just hooking up/sleeping with a bigger girl if its discreet and they know their buddies won't find out but when it comes to actually being a nice guy and having a relationship with them It doesn't work that way! Trust me its not like you are doing any huge favors by sleeping with bigger girls there are guys out there who actually want to love and treat us well! I've 70 lbs toward my goal and trust me it is not for any guy! Don't get me wrong I know that sometimes the only reason guys tend to stay away from bigger girls always based on appearance. Big girls sometimes tend to either totally lack in the confidence dept. or totally over compensate with a Big attitude problem. So a little advice for all the bbw out there, If you can find that happy medium and not be afraid to show you're confidence and let people know that you are damn proud to be who you are the trust me you will find the perfect guy for you! Oh and Don't let any guy take advantage and use you for anything because you think you can't do better. Its not true I've learned from personal experiance, Agreat guy will always come along when you least expect it!
 / / Slide \ \
Joined: 11/21/2004
Msg: 38
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 12/31/2005 5:33:31 PM
Now, thats not all true. I know for me, I've dated an overweight girl, spent time around her with my friends knowing about it and all, and they were cool with it. I'm just glad that I have great friends who are respectful of who I date ya know?
 one fish
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 39
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 12/31/2005 6:13:21 PM
If I were dating, I date men, not pant sizes.
 singingirly1984
Joined: 12/2/2004
Msg: 40
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 1/1/2006 4:19:57 PM
Oh my goodness, you all make me feel good about myself. I weigh 175 and oh boy do I feel bad about it. But by looking one doesn't tell I'm that much. I am trying as hard as I can. But all the weight just won't come off. Maybe I am too stressed.
 Lothlauren
Joined: 12/5/2005
Msg: 41
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 1/1/2006 4:38:23 PM
Well fortunately for me My current wife did.


I was almost a scale tipping 400 when we first met. (Yes I did suck in my gut and puffed my chest.. damn what guy wouldnt looking at her.) The amazing thing was she was only 5'7" and 125 lbs...

I am glad to say I am no longer that heavy and the last three years we spent together has given me a ton of confidence and self belief.. so much that I am a trim 230 now and no signs of it coming back... (did it without diets, diet pills or crazy fads)

the reason I was that heavy.. (unhappiness with the previous ex).

So yes there are people that look past the heavyness and look at the person inside.

 lordmarduc
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 42
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 1/1/2006 5:31:13 PM
I prefer very petite small breasted women. except for my wifes gaining extra weight, which I excepted, the second one, the mother of my kids earned it honestly though. it affected my ability to get aroused. I had to secretly get ready for her not to hurt her feelings. my first wife just let her self go, but i was young i tried to make her feel good about herself, but it backfired. I learned a valuable lesson from that. women attracted to bad boys lose respect, if you get nice on them. this my preference what i'm turned on by.
 Alarm
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 43
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 1/1/2006 5:49:31 PM
Weight is a number. You can look at someone and you would never guess how much they weight. I will use myself as an example, because I am not ashamed of what I have accomplished. I use to weigh 230 lbs, I have lost 70 lbs and now I weight 160. I am 5'7" tall but have a large bone structure. If you were to see me most people would never guess my weight. I have a BMI right now of 24 which is average. My ex was with me during the time I gained all my weight and as I lost all my weight, I started feeling really good about myself, I was wearing a size 10, changed my hair style, started wearing make up again, I felt awesome. He left me............ If you were to look at me, you would not guess I weigh as much as I do because of my height and bone structure. 65% of the women in my age group weight more then I do.

I bet you guys hearing how much I weigh, it turns you off, am I right. Who would want to date someone who weighs that much.
 lordmarduc
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 44
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 1/1/2006 6:04:58 PM
If you look over curvy, big breasts, big ass, thick legs, you would turn me off. i dont see your scale. its how you are built. i like em slim i dont like big arms either.
 desperate55
Joined: 1/1/2006
Msg: 45
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 1/1/2006 6:12:33 PM
Slim and petite is what gets my attention. I'm grossed out by big girls because that is a masculine quality. You get swollen an disfigured being fat which is like have a disease. we are programmed to be repulsed by fat swollen people. lose that weight.
 attheback
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 46
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 1/1/2006 6:36:39 PM
I am attracted to someone who wants to take care of herself. Except for some rare medical exceptions, people who are overweight are that way because they don't excercise enough and/or they eat too much. I live a very active lifestyle, and I am looking for someone who can keep up with me. I don't really care if a woman is thick or soft or thin or big-boned or whatever, but if she is excited about hiking 20 miles in a day, an can do it, that's good enough for me. If she can ski the double blacks with me, I'm there. Those really thin girls tend to get cold all the time anyway, and when we are camping out in the mountains, on a week-long backpacking trip, I don't want to have to carry all that extra clothing to keep her warm!

Also, I think people here are confusing weight and beauty. Overweight does not equal ugly, just as skinny does not equal beautiful. There are plenty of beautiful women who are overweight, and damn, how good would they look if they lost that weight. It's about a healthy lifestyle and having a positive body image and wanting to take care of one's self. If one is overweight there is a reason behind it. It is something you can change about yourself. Your weight is not a fixed number. Bottom line, it is healthier and easier on your body to have a nice middle of the road weight rather than overweight or skinny.
 jay1971
Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 47
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 1/1/2006 6:41:59 PM
You know I am an overweight lady as well.. I don't like the way I look either... But I feel skinnier now than I ever did when I weighed 150... because of the way I view myself in the mirror... and that made me start losing the weight...

I would have in earlier days been totally insulted with a man who did not like a woman simply because of the way she looked... but you know... it's a personal preference... Just like I'm confident enough in my self to never be attracted to men who do not see me for what I have to offer... Some days I'm glad I have this weight... Because I get to weed out the morons from the quality people...

I am a passionate and loving woman... Active as well.... I am lucky enough to carry my weight well... and I would never want a man to pretend to be attracted to me physically... But I would never date an idiot either... So to me they are one and the same... I need mental stimulation... A man with half a brain... (hmmm not been real lucky with that so far)...

And as for men out there married to a woman who was skinnier... How about finding ways to get her active and spend some quality time together... Go sweat together and make it fun... Tell her she looks good when she's toning... and do it with her... Sexy is from the inside out... and if she don't feel sexy... It's probably because you don't make her feel sexy either... So maybe that should be food for thought... Notice how women go out and put makeup on and lose a hundred pounds after they dump a boring husband or boyfriend... Maybe the effort to feel sexy and beautiful... should be made in 2 directions instead of simply 1...

Last but not least... If you don't like a fat woman... just leave her... don't worry... there are plenty of fish in the sea... and some that will be willing to put the time and effort to make her feel better about herself... and reap the rewards... So just get out of the way...
 jay1971
Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 48
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 1/1/2006 6:50:56 PM

Those really thin girls tend to get cold all the time anyway, and when we are camping out in the mountains, on a week-long backpacking trip, I don't want to have to carry all that extra clothing to keep her warm!


To imply that fat chicks need less clothing to keep warm in the winter is simply sooooooooo ignorant and stupid... We are not whales! Hmmm ... I'm overweight and always cold... so try to figure that one out!
 lordmarduc
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 49
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 1/1/2006 6:54:10 PM
both my wifes got fatter after dumping me, I look at my second one as family, we get along better now. that we have our own lives. you accept family for their oddities. many things I failed to recognize, and do that lead to the failure of my marriages. but I seldom make the same mistakes over again.
 attheback
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 50
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 1/1/2006 9:26:16 PM

To imply that fat chicks need less clothing to keep warm in the winter is simply sooooooooo ignorant and stupid... We are not whales! Hmmm ... I'm overweight and always cold... so try to figure that one out!


I did not imply the above statement, nor did I think what you wrote. You inferred it, for whatever reason. Plus, my original statement was meant as a joke.


and some that will be willing to put the time and effort to make her feel better about herself


If you think that it is your boyfriend's or husband's job to make you feel good about yourself, honey, you are sorely mistaken. A relationship where your partner is responsible for your happiness and positive self-image is dysfunctional at best. I'm not saying it is healthy to be with someone who constantly cuts you down, but there is a difference between being insulted by a person, and feeling bad about yourself. Figure out why you feel bad about yourself first, fix it, and then get yourself into a healthy relationship.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > dating an overweight person?