| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:20:17 AM | I haven't personally, but, I know several people (male and female) that have gone to drastic measures to lose the weight. They are all still married to the same people.
I get snubbed by men all the time. Could be because of my weight or it could be because of my "I don't give a s*** attitude of late." But, whatever the reason for the weight loss, it should always be for you, not because you want to show someone what they've missed.
And, when I lose the rest of my weight, and I have men that wouldn't date me before because I was FAT (and I'm not scared to use the word) No way would I go out with them. Most of those are superficial and shallow anyway.
My reasons for weight loss does have to do with someone else. When you watch your soulmate die because of health related problems, it makes you wake up. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:20:39 AM | | Some people don't realize that an overweight person is not always a person that s not in good shape. I am no couch potatoe but do battle with my weight and am always working on it. It's a slow and lifetime battle. I was at my sister's this weekend camping. She is building a new house on their property. After sleeping on the ground for 2 nights and shovelling gravel for them for the weekend I watched the others who were all younger and much slimmer than me who slept on their air mattresses walk around with bad backs on the first day. I slugged gravel the next day too while they handed me water!! LOL.... | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:24:59 AM | You can always lose the weight! Ugly is forever! HA HA! J/k!
By the chart in the docs office i'm considered borderline obese. But i'm really not.
I would date someone who is a little overweight as long as he's making the effort to lose it. And attempting to be a healthy person in all aspects of his life. B/c I am too!!
My thoughts changedin all this when I lost one of my very best guy friends in a bike wreck a month ago. When he got back from Iraq he gained a lot of weight. And he wasnt physically attractive. Well at his funeral they were showing pics of him from HS, a time in which I didnt know him. He was a lot thinner, healthy and he looked GOOD! But he had an AWESOME personality. I didnt date him b/c of his weight.
Losing him was an eyeopener in that aspect b/c he was a GREAT guy and I didnt want to date him b/c of something physical about him. That is something i'll NEVER do again!!! | |
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EC22
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Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 479 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:25:05 AM | as for you EC22 you really don't find me attractive?????? WOW, that hurts!
I'd like to make a comment on what I think of you and your body(as if it's ANY of my business)........but you don't have a pic up...........hmmmmmmm
I'm not looking for a date. Only here for the forums at this moment. Therefore there is no need for me to have a pic.
Too many people here get offended if a man states he isn't attracted to 'BBWs' / obese women. There is nothing wrong with that. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:33:17 AM | I never dated fat people but I have drawn them... I like to practice shadowing, using all the rolls on the back fat ( flank)... to practice definition and shadowing.
problem is none of the fat people like how they look from the back. | |
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Diva64
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 481 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:38:12 AM | EC22...............do you NOT know me well enough already to know I'm phucking with you. You know damn well I don't care if you like or don't like fat people.........WHY SHOULD YOU HAVE TO???? that is purely YOUR choice who you like and don't like.
COME ON NOW.............surely you know this!
and my comment about your picture is simple fact.........I can't make a comment, I don't know how you look and honestly.........it wouldn't make a difference to me as I'm not drawn to what others might be drawn to...........
AGAIN, I was messin with you and I'm not really hurt either ..........I've been reading you far to long in the forums to KNOW how you feel about the fat chicks............got no problem with it...........however I do have a question................why is it you are always in the "weight threads" are you a chubby one........or just like talking about it?
Diva
btw, I have hidden money in my back flank......robbers NEVER think to look there......so see, brilliant AND fat. | |
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EC22
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Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 482 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:44:35 AM | AGAIN, I was messin with you and I'm not really hurt either ..........I've been reading you far to long in the forums to KNOW how you feel about the fat chicks............got no problem with it...........however I do have a question................why is it you are always in the "weight threads" are you a chubby one........or just like talking about it?
Fair enough. It's all good. To answer your question, a lot of people ( not necessary you ) on these threads will state things that I think are false such as a man is shallow if he isn't attracted to fat women or thin women are generally rude, self centered b-t-hes. Those things are just as wrong as saying that all fat women are lazy. If someone makes a false generalization about a certain group of people, I will call them out on it. Same thing applies to threads about race, height, and other groups of people. | |
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Diva64
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 484 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 8:14:48 AM | I don't think most people here have a problem with preferences (yours or anyone elses) what I think annoys people is reading a thread about something/anything and someone coming in and stating.....ALLLLLLLLLLLLL FAT PEOPLE THIS................and ALLLLL OBESE PEOPLE THAT..........and how disgusting all fat people are? And that doesn't make you think.........mmmmmm...RUDE?
SO I hear ya, I don't like those general STUPID statements either.........since they don't KNOW all fat people it IS pretty shallow sounding.........however NOT being attracted to fat people IS NOT SHALLOW! Also the mean comments about fat people really aren't neccessary are they?? Surely you've seen them? And doesn't that bother you? that people can be so hateful to a whole group of people who have NEVER done anything to them?
Really, people can say whatever the hell they want.....but like you said, "I'M GONNA CALL YOU OUT ON IT"!!!! ME TOO!
how bout this.........why don't we ADDRESS the posters' comment directly that we have issue with.....instead of blanket statements that are vague in who they are meant for..........just call a spade and spade and then there is no guess work about what you mean or for whom it was meant. Then it doesn't say alllllllll you fat people think this..... or alllll you big girls do that..............I mean really.........ALL OF US.......REALLY? Do you know this to be absolutely true? I mean, even the word MOST is pushing it....since we don't know MOSTof anyone!
Does that make sense? | |
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Deni30
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Joined: 5/29/2007
Msg: 485 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 8:23:54 AM | | I don't think a man is shallow if he isn't attracted to me (for whatever reason), actually- I want nothing to do with any guy who doesn't find me beautiful and completely sexy! No different than should anyone be annoyed that I don't care for a man who is by my definition dumb as a rock, or too short by my standards, or wears overalls and favors a comb-over. Why would I care about those who are not interested? I don't even notice them- I'm too busy with the ones who do. | |
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EC22
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Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 486 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 8:36:52 AM | Diva,
I agree with many of your points. I can certainly understand people getting offended when someone states all fat people are X and Y instead of addressing the individual poster, but there are certainly some people ( not all ) in this thread and other threads who have stated a man is shallow for not being attracted to fat women or make fun of thin women. All of these comments are rude, inaccurate and disrespectful | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 8:44:52 AM | I've been attracted to skinny women. I've been attracted to big women. I even figured out that I prefer pears to apples.
Please tell me: is "curvy" the right adjective to use when every curve is convex?
Would using BMI instead of the subjective body-type categories in the profile be a help? Would people be honest? | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 9:01:40 AM | Yeti, I think BMI standards are off base a bit. It may mean in terms of how healthy in general we are. But I think it's how someone carry's their weight. In my case, I dont look like what I really weigh. So to call me fat would be off base imo.
I see extremly overweight people, and im talking a girl I know who is 5 1 and weighs 286lbs date different guys....guys who are athletic and just plain HOT IMO. And now she's got a gorgeous b/f who works out a lot. I would hope that it's b/c he sees her personality. I dunno.....it's my nap time now LOL | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 10:24:53 AM |  gotta love that kinda thinkin. Wonder if I should change my profile to read: Gal with room in storage shed for finely tuned tools only. Bless ya in5218, a post that actually made me laugh! | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 11:31:46 AM | i personally think of myself as "thick" but i also consider myself attractive to a point. i'm confident with my looks, but i'm not stuck on myself. i know i need to lose weight and i've been trying for years now, due to a thyroid problem where my thyroid level keeps freaking out and they have to up my dose of meds or lower my dose of meds is frustrating, but i'm not one to just sit around the house all day and do nothing. i enjoy walking, working out, and trying to keep myself healthy.
i think everyone has their own flaws as far as being healthy, i mean come on if everyone on the planet was healthy we wouldn't need doctors, or diet consulations..
honestly i've heard guys say " only fat women/men or ugly women/men say it's the beauty within" please that is totally shallow.. i just say to each their own.
i've had guys tell me that i was sexy and that i'm beautiful.. (which yes i am beautiful just as everyone else is beautiful in thier own way) but i just needed to flatten this, tighten up this, lose this, tone up this.. either you like me for who i am or you don't..
just my 2 cents. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 11:53:49 AM | Very interesting seeing all the different responses. Here is my story...I am that overweight person....have been all my life. And my weight has never been an excuse to approach life with any less gusto.
I'm fortunate in that I'm reasonably attractive (other person's point of view) and I am smart.
I have never wanted for male company including marriage and offers of marriage since my divorce. The mail etc. comes from younger men as well as those my age. Most of
the comments I receive, as to why the interest, relate to my smile, my confidence, etc.
I think that I can be an inspiration to some of you.....go for the brass ring and don't hold back. I've had friends in the past that didn't get out there because in their minds they were "fat".....much smaller than me....the excuse just didn't hold water.
I do concede that as you age, medical problems are mostly going to be related to your
weight issues.....and we all want to be healthier. But if you don't have the right attitude,
the size of your body is moot.
Happy Dating, Becca | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 2:04:31 PM |
sometimes a woman's weight is medical. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, and it keeps me fat.
PCOS here as well.
It's frustrating when people think you live your life at McDonald's, spend your life lying on the couch and are lazy.
I've never eaten at McDonald's, eat pretty healthy and not a whole lot, exercise somewhat ... but due to PCOS the weight just doesn't want to go away. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 2:26:12 PM | good for you and congratulations! It's nice to see that there are still some men out here that aren't shallow and value the person for who they really are .... | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 2:29:35 PM | Great post Becca 210 
There will always be those who aren't attracted to big women. It's a fact of life. Not a fair or right one, but most certainly a fact. Those are the ones I can do without. I've dated big men and have loved them, I've dated athletic men and liked them, I've dated thin men and like them. It's rather a matter of seeing their personality and the person within that matters. Now I just have a preference for bald men no matter if they are big, thin or athletic.
I used to be the trophy wife until 15 years of marriage and he found someone taller and prettier. An injury and illness led to my weight gain, coupled with birth control pills added to my weight gain. Now that he's gone I can concentrate on losing the weight and I'm proud to say that it's coming off slowly. I've never lacked for male company or attention, I think that I've been fortunate to have found company who can see past the weight to the real person within. We can always lose wight and the self confidence that we gain is amazing. | |
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EC22
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Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 496 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 2:53:11 PM |
There will always be those who aren't attracted to big women. It's a fact of life. Not a fair or right one, but most certainly a fact. Those are the ones I can do without. I've dated big men and have loved them, I've dated athletic men and liked them, I've dated thin men and like them. It's rather a matter of seeing their personality and the person within that matters. Now I just have a preference for bald men no matter if they are big, thin or athletic.
Why is it wrong or unfair for some men not to be attracted to fat women. They are entitled to their preferences just you like are entitled to be attracted to bald men. There are some men who are attracted to fat women and not attracted to thin women. I wouldn't consider that to be wrong or unfair. Someone asked me why I'm on weight threads. Statements like this are a prime example why. | |
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Diva64
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 497 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 3:37:08 PM | EC22 I see your point...........what's not FAIR and what's not RIGHT about not being attracted sexually to FAT women/men?
That is an odd statement.............now if you don't "like" them as in ALLL FAT PEOPLE in general.....well that is your right too but it is silly and ridiculous to write off people as friends just because they don't maintain a certian weight that you deem appropriate........and where do you draw the line for friends........20 pounds overweight and they can be your friend....25 pounds overweight and they can't? Sure it's your right but it's JUST silly really!
Now back to the sexual attraction................that is strictly personal and not really a debatable issue as it's very personal and relative.
Why would I ever be interested in someone who doesn't think I"m hot, sexy and beautiful along with smart funny and wonderful..........if you don't like me, who cares, don't ask me out...............but that doesn't make you SHALLOW, that's for sure!
Diva | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 3:45:35 PM | my hubby married me big and i am still big ...probably 50 lbs more so and we will be married 25 years Aug. 14th..but like someone said before me...if the person is overweight but still attractive then the attractiveness should overcome the weight..it did in my case  | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 4:00:47 PM | It really is about the person inside. As I got older I realized that more and more. I am one of the few men out there that like heavy women and I'm not ashamed to admit it. But not to stereotype heavy people as being lazy but I am finding that it sometimes holds. I would really like to find a plump, voluptous woman with a great personality, who takes care of herself and likes to keep active and have fun. WHERE ARE U?
My ex wife was very heavy and when I would try to help her loose weight she would get mad. I did it for her health and so we could go out and do things instead of being couch potatoes. | |
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