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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 4:29:47 PM | Hey, well to each their own. If you like us bigger girls then all the better.
Just know that the person themselves has to be happy with the weight they are. If you always complain and do nothing then you will get nothing. If the weight is just making you unhappy then you need to decide to do something about it and the guys/gals will be attracted to the happy want to be healthy person inside. I am currently struggling with the weight, and my inner critic. I am learning to tame those negative thoughts and love me for who I am and what I have become, and will yet become. Right now I am sick of me letting me think that this weight is holding me back from accomplishing more wonderful things. In sight of all that I have been through in my 23 years of life I am still needing to accept myself or do something about it. Being thin is not going to make me happy, but being healthy and doing the things I want to do, say join a hip hop class...I always say "oh if only...then I would." You know. It is time. Time for me to take me into consideration...and when I am happy and healthy I will find that someone who is attracted to me in all aspects, as I am them. Why plunder around being unhappy and having guys not like you for everything because "it's what's inside that counts..." No actually if you don't find me attractive then bugger off.
So I am giving myself a time out. I am not looking for a relationship until I am happy with who I AM. Which is the case, oh if only I had a boyfriend or spouse who supported me then I wouldn't be this way.
Well it is time to take ownership, love ourselves for who we are, and not need other peoples approval.
Now even the thin people have problems too...don't label or pick on them unless you appreciate the same being done to you. It's all in respect for one another and ourselves. So if you are happy the way you are, and you have someone who loves you just the same. That is what matters. Happiness and peace of mind. As for me, I have been the one thinking oh if I did this and that...I am not picking anyone out and have not read many other comments on here. I just want to encourage everyone to be healthy and enjoy life...because stressing over things just doesn't help.
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 4:50:16 PM | Dated one that was WAY overweight- she never lost it and ended up cheating on me.
Married a normal size one, made her fat, then lost her.... does that one count?  | |
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Diva64
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 503 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 9:21:59 PM | ex-navy.............you're killing me here! I don't know if you meant to be that funny......but dayum I laughed out loud hard!
I say we let him count it, YES? | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/2/2007 11:15:23 PM | | When i met my ex husband i was thin.... gained weight over the 10 years we were together... my weight was part of the reason we ended up divorced he said he wasnt atracted to me anymore. I cant wait till the day lose the weight I want and he sees me thin again ha ha. I have had guys i met not be interested and I assume some of the reasons was my weight ... Part of me hopes that when i lose it I will come across them again so i can show them what they could have had lol | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/3/2007 6:07:45 AM | | So far, I've lost 30 since we separated, plus the 150 that was him. I'm starting to feel myself again....and for a long time I had lost that. When I was a teenager I was Annorexic looking, my health was never good. By the time I got married I was 100lbs sopping wet. I prefer a man that when you spoon has a tummy.....makes you know that he is there. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/3/2007 9:29:46 AM | Well no skinny mini here, but I'm physically fit, in good health, eat what I want, smoke and 8 hours a day I have a pretty physical job that keeps those muscles pumpin. Am I going to starve myself just to get some guy? NOPE! I'm ME folks! I like who I am. When my X told me he had met someone he felt he'd settle down with, the one thing he said to me which made me laugh (to myself of course lol), was "she is just like you" My son later confirmed that. From her size to her personality, my son said she is a carbon copy. Go figure lol.
We are all different in size, personality, expectations, needs and wants. Viva la difference!! If I wanted some hunky hunk, I'd turn to a fashion catalogue and order me one lol. Since I can't, guess I'll have to be realistic and accept the fact that 'mr wonderful' won't be perfect in body and mind and that's okay by me. If the truth be known, I kinda like a guy with meat on his bones. Nothing worse then a boney elbow digging into my bod or no butt to grab
 Just make sure you're healthy and you take care of yourself in all ways regardless of what size you are. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/3/2007 9:38:33 AM | ^^^^^ No kidding!
Nothing hurts more than running behind him in the kitchen or wherever and grabbing a cheek and running only to break/sprain/bruise my hand on a butt bone. LOL I gotta have me some padding on that arse to grab onto when i'm COUGHCOUGH!!!! 
Oh God! Now i'm thinking about the guy i'm seeing....cant wait for tonight. I might just have to make a move and grab me a handful of his bum! 
Oh and NOTHING is WORSE than to be ummmm COUGH COUGH and have a skinny collar bone in your face...that HURTS!!! I need to feel like i'm wrapping my legs around a man not a stick!!! | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/3/2007 10:50:45 AM | Plain and simple I would not date an over weight person they are not healthy, If they dont have enough self esteem to get in shape then I am not intrested. Bottom line its not healthy, they will live a shorter life, thier heart has to work that much harder, and they are much more suceptable to deseases like diabetes, this is what I cant understand is why because of sheer laziness they would risk thier health, if you dont have health you got nothing, and when I am looking for a potential mate I want her to be around for a long time, and being healthy, not smoking, and height weight prportionate is a good start!!
WTF 
Are you in the stone ages man .... I am a sweetly curved lady and I will tell you what, my blood pressure is 117/ 72. NORMAL. My self esteeme is just fine, as I do work out on my complete home gym and treadmill. My heart is perfect and safe cuz I know it will never belong to a knuckle dragger like you, and since I am soooooo lazy as you say risking my health, it must be my mental health you are speaking of, cuz I can not believe I really read such a close minded post. If you are looking for a potential mate, with that attitude you will be looking for a really long time. Your so called mate could be an olympic athlete and still die unexpectedly. As I have seen here already, I may be Goddess sized, but you are ugly, and I can diet. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/3/2007 1:27:05 PM | <------------------------------ In my case, this is what twentyfive pounds overweight looks like. It does not insult me, that I may not be someone's "type".
There are sufficient men that find me attractive, regardless of what I weigh. And there are sufficient men I find attractive, regardless of what they weigh.
The point is to stay with someone through thick or thin.
(sorry - I couldn't resist making the pun)
How silly to imply otherwise.
*C* | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/3/2007 2:50:01 PM | | I have been 90 pounds heavier and I can honestly say that dating a person overweight is only as important as the two people in the picture think. Some people put a lot of importance on poundage. There are great people in all weight catagories. Love looks beyond and into the heart and soul | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/3/2007 3:11:50 PM | When talking to my buddies about this sort of thing, it came out that some women don't like a big belly on a man. But these same gals didn't think it was a problem that their REAR END would pass the yard stick test and they often had to turn sideways to get it through the door.
Those double standards can really get to a fella.
JoeBob | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/8/2007 4:33:42 AM | I'm still smiling at the "closet chubby" question.. lol...
To answer the question, Yes I would ate someone overweight, in fact I prefer a man with meat on his bones!!!
To all these stupid comments about how people over weight are ALL unhealthy.. BS!! Skinny people can be just as unhealthy!!! People who exercise can fall dead from a masive heart attack just like a fat person can. As you can tell by many of us over weight people.. we are just as active if not MORE active then all you health nuts!! Most people (healthy skinny) cannot keep up with ME!! As I said before, I am not worried about men who prefer skinny women, it's their choice and one that I've learned is not important to me. Over the last year I'm met some really cool women like myself that are overweight but never have a problem getting dates, while the pretty, petite, healthy or skinny gals whine all the time because they can't keep or man or even find one!! Seems to me.. they are lacking in the personality department, maybe they are too worried about looking good instead of having character.. hmm.. just a thought from a fat chick... lol | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/8/2007 5:40:39 AM | The stereotypes about fat people just astound me. I've never been to a McDonald's. I exercise. I don't sit at home on the couch and watch TV, I've never had a Bon-Bon. My blood pressure is 120/70 and my heart is just fine (ok, a little dented).
For some of us, there are medical issues.
I know many skinny people who aren't healthy, from high blood pressure, insulin-taking diabetics and much, much more.
And I always remind people that Jim Fixx died of a heart attack. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/8/2007 5:48:45 AM |
To answer the question, Yes I would ate someone overweight, in fact I prefer a man with meat on his bones!!!
That was NOT what I meant to write.. after reading it, it sounds like I want to eat a guys with meat on his bones... lol... Yes i would DATE someone overweight!!! | |
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Diva64
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 515 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/8/2007 6:10:50 AM | YES, I caught that and my brain just automatically edited it to "date".........
got to feel sorry for those people who are sticklers or don't have "auto edit" and think you are a cannibal........... | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/9/2007 2:28:10 AM | There are many reasons why people gain weight... if they are depressed because they were raped as a child, or abused by a spouse, are unhappy with the relationship/s
It could be medical, I gained a ton of weight after two neck surgeries, ( I got steriod injections into my neck/spine) I got so heavy (for me) friends and family treated me different, it hurt my feelings. Men stopped looking at me, then I lost the weight and everything got back to normal... it made me feel differently about people with weight issues.
Heavy people dont want to be heavy, things have changed. People used to have three meals a day, walked where they went, rode bikes, played outside as kids, restaurants served normal sized servings of food that actually had nutrients and vitamins..
Now restaurants serve enough for a family of four, the food has no vitamins, nutrients and is usually processed with added sugar, high fructose corn syrup, salt and added fat because it is cheaper and tastier to the pallet.
I have a friend that was overweight until she began dating this man, the weight fell off, she began walking with him, going out dancing, was happy, no longer just sat in front the TV, and is drop dead gorgeous!!!! I have also seen men that were heavy fall in love and drop forty pounds from just being happy.
If you pass on a person because of the weight then you are not seeing the entire picture. Some women gain weight to keep the jerks away... some men only care what the woman looks like and couldnt care less "who" she is, or what her likes and dislikes are...
Stress can lead to weight gain too, inproper dieting, drugs legal or illegal and with the entire world getting heavier and heavier, it could bankrupt our medical community. Once you are at a certain weight, it is more difficult to move, things hurt, so it gets worse and worse... I dont have the answers,,, kids cant go out and play like I was able to as a child, we would leave in the morning and had to come home for lunch, then we didnt have to be home until dark... there are too many freaks, pedophiles, rapists and murderers out there now, so because the media has scared us all into our homes and given us cable and video games,, everyone has a car, restaurants deliver, places are open 24/7 and you can get just about anything, anytime, anywhere...
I have seen men be critical to their wives, or g friends for gaining weight giving birth to their child, so the relationship fell apart, then she lost all the weight, and he wanted her back. ahahahahaha.... it is such a superficial predjudice, would people dare hold a disease like cancer against someone? A car Accident??? If you love someone, if you really know what real love is, it would only come up for the health issue, and if my partner gained weight, I would ask why or if they were unhappy, stressed and would encourage walks, better food, and professional support if warranted...
some people are just dim and dont have a clue... but hopefully someday they will learn what is important in life... if not.. it is their loss.
BL | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/9/2007 2:44:06 AM | ya know readin through the posts here...ive really come to realize how truly shallow and bent on how perfect ppl think they r.
i keep myself in great shape physically...but thats cuz i have to...but i tell u what...id rather have a lady thats a few lbs heavier than a stick skinny gal whos constantly complainin cuz she ate a cookie and its gonna take a week of throwin up to get it off.
everyone needs to stand naked in front of a mirror for five minutes...i promise u...noone looks that good on POF that they can cast judgement over sumone whos heavyset. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/9/2007 6:23:59 AM | | ^^^^ an UN-shallow man who knows what he wants!!! I have noticed that the women are are skinny, but always on diets.. they are obsessed with the whole weight thing, they have very little personality because they are more concerned about their body, their looks... yada yada.. us chunky chicks just like to have fun!!! Or at least this one does. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/9/2007 6:39:37 AM | | Happened to me and now I resent all the attention. Down 80 lbs and I am astonished how superficial and shallow men are! | |
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Diva64
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 520 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/9/2007 6:55:20 AM | You can be up 80 lbs (and I'm being nice to myself) and you can resent all the attention too. Men can be superficial and shallow then as well.........even to us big girls.
And guess what.........the same can be said for WOMEN! I've seen some catty sisters treat men in the most deplorable fashion. (to me, it says more about the women/man doing the mistreatment)
And ya know what people, thin women don't have carte blanc on BAD ATTITUDES........
shallowness, stupidity, morally bankrupt idiots don't have a SIZE...............
what is up with the generalizations? People that have chosen to live in discontent and ill humor come in all shapes and sizes............
CAN WE PLEASE JUDGE (yes, WE ALL JUDGE IT'S OKAY) INDIVIDUALS ON A CASE BY CASE BASIS PLEASE!!! | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/9/2007 7:10:31 AM | Amen Diva Amen
People don't seem to realize bigotry and cruelty don't have a color, or a size, or a nation. They are functions of individuals who choose the easy way. Its easier to be rude and cruel then it is to be polite and compassionate. It's easier to go with the flow and agree then it is to stand up and say no. It's easier to look at someone else and find fault then it is to look to yourself and realize the problem is yours.
I wish people would learn to evolve past being hairless apes, but I confess there are days I lose hope lately. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/9/2007 7:37:11 AM | I just looked at quite a few profiles on here, "smokers" telling overweight people that they are a health risk becuase of the their weight...
A smoker saying they are healthy....ya right....
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/9/2007 7:45:55 AM | | Diva64, you hit the nail on the head. We need to interact with INDIVIDUALS. Far too many people have a ton of preconceptions and rule people out prematurely if they don't fit a very rigid picture in terms of size, hair colour, eye colour race. Then when they end up with a shallow partner who treats them like garbage and with whom they have little in common they wonder why. "You get what you pay for." If your focus is 90% on the packaging yes, you'll get a lovely package....that will inevitably change with time. Unless overweight is for health reasons, a person who is overweight can lose that weight with a lot of hard work and encouragement. An slim attractive person will not remain that way forever. If the character is lacking and the attitude is bad, that is what you will be stuck with when the packaging changes....and it will. No one remains young, slim, with nothing sagging, and wrinkle free forever. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/9/2007 7:46:54 AM | Sexy is a state of mind - not a body size. Too bad few people understand this.
As for overweight men/women - let's hope they would be forgiving of those who judge ( balding guys, short men/women, smokers etc., ) | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 8/9/2007 7:49:09 AM |
I just looked at quite a few profiles on here, "smokers" telling overweight people that they are a health risk becuase of the their weight...
A smoker saying they are healthy....ya right....
hehe... well put brother well put. What is really scarey is how many smokers still go around trying to convince themselves that the smoke isn't really that bad or that dangerous. Personally I've long prefered my answer to smokers. "No thanks you use filters, I smoke buildings at least I know why my lungs are screwed :)" | |
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