| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/24/2006 9:11:02 AM | | I'll date an overweight person. Men have dated me and I am overweight so why not return the favour. I've never been the type to judge anyone because of weight, age, race, height, etc, etc. and never will be. | |
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indy06
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Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 177 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/24/2006 10:19:39 AM | | was unhappy w/ myself, ate way to very unhealthy weight. broke up w/ ex 4 reasons related 2 unhappiness not weight. have now lost 30 lbs since dec. (+ lost 225 lbs of hideous fathead, lol) fat is symptom of unhappiness and poor selfesteem, unless 4 rare med. reasons. not a feminist statement. 4 most is result of using food 4 reasons other than nourishment. i am talking however about obesity, not genetics or frame. i am well on my way to being healthier but will never b barbie. that being said i would probably not date a obese man, would b 2 easy 2 slide back into old habits unless they were also trying to get healthy. if that makes me a fat fatist so b it. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/24/2006 10:29:05 AM | Was going to say right on to hftejada but then he had to go spoil it with his comment on how his friend was nice looking and cleaver but dated then married a gorda...and the piece about marrying an ulgy person..Geesh...
theres more to a person then looks, beauty will fade over time..and gravity has its way of taking over..
I knew someone who was so skinny when she married, never had kids, and was very very happy....and yet she still gained a ton of weight....it didnt make one bit of difference to her man either...he said.....I married you for who you are on the inside...she has one of the biggest hearts
Isnt that what should count? | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/24/2006 10:43:13 AM | | ok, not true. Maybe a woman who is STUPID would do this! I am a BBW and prefer BBM, and they must be honest...... come on lets be fair! | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/24/2006 11:27:48 AM | mesnafugal:
Ok so you a saying... he is just sucking all us softies for attention???? Yes I get in trouble with friends all the time for trying to "help" everyone and everything.. but it's just me I reckon.
Not all, but I have read your posts regarding this person, mesnafugal and yes you've been very helpful toward him, which is not by all means a bad thing.
I'm the same; very helpful and will reach out a hand, however, in this case it's a no go. I see by his profile he's being untruthful again. I've caught on to his 'not so straightforward' ways and he's shot himself in the foot which furthers his impetuosity toward me.
Thank God for the 'block' feature!  | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/24/2006 12:15:10 PM | | I really try to be positive in my posts when I can, but as you have gathered I'm sure that sometimes when my feathers get ruffled or I see someone being mean to someone for no reason I get very defensive. I will take up for other people before taking up for myself. I'm glad we (you and I) are not upset with each other.. thank you... | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/24/2006 5:18:30 PM | | realism has a way of hitting people and the truth is hearts of gold can be found in all people and regardless of size. Yes I would date an overweight person.. simply because they may have a heart of gold... don't judge the book by the cover... might be a good read.....just like an overweight person might be a fantastic person. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/24/2006 9:52:01 PM | | nope. I personally dont' like slim guys honest or not. Gimmee a stocky guy with a belly any day! Honesty would just be a great change. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 1:03:15 AM | | The qualities that I find endearing are: treating me fair, being considerate and coming thru when the chips are down. Nowhere on there is there a limit on weight. I would date a fellow that is overweight.I too have to have people skills. I love each of you and fair treatment is #1 in my book. keptreal,, if you lose weight do it for youreself and you alone...You are ok at the weight you are...... | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 8:45:07 AM | Kept...keep at it man...don't give up on your pursuit! I do respect you and what you are trying to do for yourself...but I am having a problem with one thing here. Belfast is very special to me, and it hurts me to see this conflict going on between you. I sincerely hope that this can be laid to rest .
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 9:48:33 AM | What ever happened to the theory, You can loose weight but you can't change your ugly looks. Right? Looks really should be a basis of a relationship, however as much as I hate to admit it there does have to be something you find attractive about your partner after all you do have to wake up next to them right?
Oh yes back to the question at hand.. side tracked maybe. I was a few pounds heavier when I first met my partner and I've been working really hard and it's paying off I've lost almost 20 pounds in sight of less than 2 months. Thing is, I'm doing it for MYSELF, not to impress anyone or anything, it's about being healthy and feeling good about yourself. You need to be doing it for the right reasons. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 10:02:39 AM | Hey honest gal
It is great that you are doing this for yourself. I know that the right thing is to be healthy and feel good about yourself.
However, I am caught in a trap of wanting to do it because someone told me that if I just lost a few pounds I would be gorgeous. That has given me the desire but for all the wrong reasons. On that thought though I think it is a great motivational tool for me. I am just afraid that it will back fire. Any thoughts on that? | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 10:07:35 AM | amusing2u, I used to be a lot larger than I am now (now I'm about a size 8 or 10 and at my largest I was a 16 or 18) and there were several occasions when I lost a lot of weight after someone told me I'd be so much cuter if I were thinner.
It always came back when the person I was trying to impress decided they weren't all that interested in the first place or whatever...
I think that unless you decide to pick up an eating more healthy (I don't call them diets) and exercise regiment for yourself and yourself alone it's destined to backfire. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 10:35:08 AM | You aren't losing the weight for me are you? You are my friend and weight loss should be done to make for a healthier long life... You will be my friend for life regardless of weight... | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 10:43:11 AM | Amusing2U, sorry it took me so long to get back, I never thought anyone would post anything back to me. I used to think that I was so ugly and whatever (no not looking for sympathy or anything, stating facts) I've never been told I was ugly, so I don't really know where you are coming from. It was all me and truly and honestly I think that because all my exes just accepted me for who I am and everything else good about me that looks and appearance were just over looked or not an issue. So seriously I look back and think I just got comfortable with it and never though, although always still feeling self-conscious (and I think I always will be, it's a fact of Womanhood)
So what changed? Well I starting talking to a so-called awesome guy, good looks and all.. and of course on the internet. Well I had a picture posted, just as I do now sitting down as I always do, (just feel more comfortable, but realisitic or leading people on I don't know) Well we decided to meet and all went really well, however he didn't call like he said he would and then after a week he called me and said it's just not going to work as I tried to over look the weight thing and it's just not happening for me. That turned a light blub on for me as for once in my life someone cared (yes I didn't take it as being rude, I took it as someone caring about being healthy) So in came the new year 2006 and I wanted to make changes, for myself. I didn't do it for him, although maybe feeling a little bit bitter and wanted to show him I could do it (girls and ours ways) I signed up for the local gym and I worked HARD (still do) I go faithfully and honestly it's been a great experience for me. I once would never walk into a gym, thinking it was all muscle heads, and the first gym I went to sign up was just that. But for the extra 10 minute drive, for real bodies and pleasant people it's worth it. I've made some great friends in this short little time I've been going and making great progess, not only did it give me a self esteem booster and look at myself in a different away (I'll still be the first to admit that I don't think I'll ever be happy and able to look at myself as a sexy girl, but it's alright, I'm working on it.. just to be able to look at myself is a big accomplishment) I'm eating a lot better (not that I ate junk before) but trust me it plays a big part if you don't eat breakfast and small meals. Now that I have someone in my life again that accepts me yet again for who I am, I thought I would fall back into that just feeling comfortable and accepted, but I haven't I'm the one thats been telling him shape up. It's amazing how good you feel. It gets you out, gets you more active and energetic. It's not only a health thing but a social thing. It's not a short term thing, It's a long term thing. That will driven. If your not ready to do it, and you don't put your heart into it, and have good supports you'll never do it. I started off slow and I think thats played a huge part.
In short(lol) do it for you, Amazing benifits.. I wish you lived in my area we could go together. Awesome to have new people join and share things with.
Don't just settle, don't just get comfortable. I think maybe you can take what he said to you and just do it. Turn it around and do it for you. Make him do it with you.
By the way... to me beauty is skin deep and you know what we do have very nice faces.. some can't say the same, no doubt. We might be "a few extra pounds" but we are definately not ugly... we can loose weight, others can't do anything about thier faces.. Not to be crude and rude, it's reality.
Remember Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Take care of yourself.
I wish you (and everyone reading my essay. lol) best of luck.
I would love to stay in touch and see how we are all doing making progress, sharing stories, and ambitions, goals and all.
Sincerely,
Dawn | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 10:54:38 AM | | yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The true beauty radiates from within and causes body structure not to matter. That is why I would date an overweight fellow and be proud to be seen with him. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 11:04:59 AM | I am overweight....and am constantly snubbed by guys because they don't want to date a thick girl. I'm working on losing the weight though, but it's a slow process and I have a lot to lose. But I'm trying. I just wish guys weren't like that. Doesn't it matter anymore what is on the inside? It's like they think every girl has to look like a Barbie doll. I just want a good man who will treat me right but apparently from the reactions I've gotten, I have to be a skinny girl to find that.  | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 11:32:20 AM | Angelv34- I gues I shall speak for myself when I say that, I've always found awesome people to talk to and meet online. I"ve been very blessed and fortunate. Maybe it's how you perceive yourself, It truly reflects on the male counterpart. If your confident in yourself, I'm sure they will give you a chance. I've had nothing but great things happen to me online.
I wish you the sincere best of luck. Never give up. Mr. Right is here. When who knows and trust me you have to go through a lot of "jerks" before you find them, but you'd be amazed at the good looking, intellegent, good hearted men out there, that love a woman with a little bit of meat on their bones.
Btw you totally don't look large by any means. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 12:03:40 PM | Hello all
Glad that we have a place to spill what we have inside. I appreciate the replies back. I totally understand what you are saying about doing it for me. However, as I sit here I am so sad that I am the size I am. I met a really nice guy on here and he was the one that said that he didn't have a problem with my weight and if I lost those few pounds in the middle I would be gorgeous.
He is taking a step back and said to take things one day at a time (I have a tendency to go after what I want and move fast - not always good). This is my first sign (in my head) that this is an issue for him. He has never given me a reason to doubt what he says. I think it is me and the insecurity I feel about my size. But, to add to this he is now still on here to meet new people as I am (he is dating and I am looking for friends). I just can't help but think that is was my size that pushed him away. Although I keep getting it is not about me it is him. He keeps telling me that I am an amazing women and fun to be with. I am so trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. But again the esteem issues are right up there.
Now as I have totally changed topic and am sorry about that. I see that in my mind that if I was the healthy person I wanted to be I wouldn't have to worry about this man. As a side note do you have any advice on this.
Also I do want to let everyone know who is working on a new healthy lifestyle and needs someone to bounce ideas and concerns off of , I am totally here. Send me a message anytime.
Hope everyone has a great day!!! | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 12:16:34 PM | I felt/feel the same way and I've been there. Like I posted the novel earlier... I understand how you are feeling and are totally far from being along. It's insecurities of all woman, weather we are 100 pounds or 300 pounds. We just are not happy with ourselves and get get over that/past that to really accept that when someone tells us that we are beautiful, THEY MEAN IT. It's in the eye of the beholder, as we all have said a million times. It's self esteem hunny, yes I lack it just as much as the next person (including you)
We have to suck it up and work hard and realize how awesome we really are. Because we are no doubt!
Lots of luv | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 1:05:35 PM | Well, I was skin and bones until I had my son. Now that I am.. what most would consider "overweight" I get more attention from men then I ever did when I was a boobless stick. If you can't see past my "love handles" and see the outgoing fun loving person I am .. Well piss on you. I think too many women spend to much time looking at their ass in the mirror, and not enough time having fun and enjoying life.
Now if your weightis a health issue and you can't tie your own shoes.... its time to see you doctor.
As for the issue of sex with a overweight person. My ex-husband was VERY overweight he could not tie his own shoes... personally I think that the issue of just bad sex was one of the many things the eventully ended our marraige. After all how can you have GREAT sex if ya can't move??????? and how can you have a great relationship without great sex.... Guess thats my 2 cents worth.
So, we are who we are... we like what we like.... losing weight just to please another is just as stupied as gaining weight to please man who loves a FULL women.... If you are happy with yourself then piss on the men that don't like your body type.....Looking for a certian body type is not shallow its normal.... .. there is a reason why we are different........After all there are plenty of fish in the sea!
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 1:15:57 PM | kept:
..Belfast you have this deep seeded anger towards men and need to sort them out.
Seek professional help. I have friends on here and I am not afraid to submit myself to your scrutiny
Nice try.
You've revealed yourself well. It's obvious by the antiphons.
There's little to say; reducing one's self to name calling truly shows how puerile one's mentality is.
Goodness - how mature!
mandrake Thank you! | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 1:20:01 PM |
reducing one's self to name calling truly shows how puerile one's mentality is
Okay so name calling is purile.
Goodness - how mature!
OOPSSS!!! Reverse name calling?
LMFAO | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 1:21:59 PM | I suggest you go back and read posts.. maybe then you can come back and retort. ^
There is a big difference between mudslinging and a preservative of one's individuality.
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