| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 1:23:54 PM | I agree with Miss. Single one hundred percent. Rare.
Really rare I agree with someone al the way.
Differences are for a reason.
Hell, even one blonde will hate another because of different and better shoes. Never stops. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 1:25:28 PM | I suggest you learn not to contradict and oxymoron on the same page no matter what OTHER post read.
A preservative of one's individuallity? Saying how mature, sarcastically, in ANYONE's book is a slander and it's saying they are immature in a condescnding way. You can't brain storm me woman. My individuallity is free from perservatives. I am all naturel.
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 1:34:38 PM | i used to be 16 stone but lost 3 stone in 6 months because i fell in love again.. Now we are just good friends cuz she in Germany... But, the weight as stayed off and i feel great about it. I also got more self belief. Cant get rid of the ugliness tho !!!  | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 1:52:01 PM | | im honestly not shallow, and i can see past certain weight. and still find them attractive. meah thats amore | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 3:14:20 PM | People People... PLEASE let's get back to the subject and stop bickering back and forth.. BOTH OF YOU!!! I believe the topic is dating an overweight person. If there are personal feelings with some of us then it needs to stay just that.. PERSONAL and out of the forums. I like everyone.. ok.. maybe NOT "everyone" but most everyone. When people start fussing on here then it really makes it hard for other people. Let's agree to disagree... or not like the other person but no fighting on here please.
Now... One reason I gained all my weight (per my doctor) is my job.. the stress and then being put on a MIDNIGHT shift and never getting enough sleep, so my doctor says until I get a new job then I shouldn't even try to diet and lose the weight becasue that will just add more stress to what I'm already dealing with. So even though I'm not happy with my weight right now I have to take things a step at a time and getting a new job is FIRST and most important, once I'm on a normal shift and have a normal (for me) life then I will consentrate on losing that weight. I can't do it all so I'm working on what I can right now. And you can just ask me what a wonderful person I am and I'll be more than happy to tell you!! LOL No.. I was playing.. sorta... but I'm a good person, I just happen to be wearing pants I wish my horses were wearing!!! LOL.. I love you all... let's get along... | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 4:08:30 PM | | ^^^ good words, stress will cause you to gain weight. Just like the right motivation will cause you to lose weight. It has to be because you seriously want to and people accept you as you are....I would date an overweight fellow because I am overweight.....But even if I wasn't I still would value the qualities that caused me to be attracted to him. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 4:43:41 PM | I just wish guys weren't like that. Doesn't it matter anymore what is on the inside? It's like they think every girl has to look like a Barbie doll.
angelv_34,
I'm sorry to hear that you are repeatedly snubbed by guys due to your weight, but it's not necessarily that men want barbie dolls... I for one simply want someone fit that can keep up with me... A barbie doll is an unrealistic body demand in which a "woman" (and I use the term in quote because the shape is so distorted I don't think it counts  ) has a ridiculously large bust, an inconceivably tiny waist, and then a mid size set of hips and firm buttocks. That is ridiculous and full of such contrasting demands that it is impossible except for a select few people with the genes or sufficient plastic surgery
to POFers in general:
However unrealistic media fodder aside, I find it funny how most people seem to forget there was once a time in their lives that they were in shape, and that they have simply let themselves go. Almost every child is in pretty good shape in the early years: tons of energy, plenty of exercise through various games, and a regimented rest schedule. However as we grow older we tend to discount certain activities as childish and start the "obesity spiral":
Step 1 - Age 16) Get a driver's licence - say goodbye to the bike or walking that you used to do to get around, and the burned calories that came with them.
Step 2 - Age 18-21) Become an adult - and engage in all the "cool" vices that come with it, alcohol consumption, smoking, fine dining (often in excess of what we burn up)
Step 3 - Career) Become so engrossed in work that we neglect our health, too tired/stresed to make time for the gym. Start drinking coffe by the gallon to keep our energy up rather than exercise. Become so sedentary at our jobs we'll sooner take an escalator DOWN than walk down a flight of stairs... I won't even broach the topic of walking UP a flight of stairs...
Step 4 - Family) Have kids and say goodbye to most of our spare time and sleep, most spend more time watching their kids play than join in and get some healthy exercise with them.
Step 5 - medical crisis) Your doctor's annual "you need to exercise more" speech finally hits home after a decade or two, now you buy your fancy spandex and a home treadmill you will use once, feel like you're having a heart attack, and then say "nuts to this" and relinquish yourself to griping about how people should just accept people for what's on the inside anyway...
The path of fitness is a lot easier if you never stray from it from the start, the longer you wait to try and get back on the horse, the harder the ride. That's why I count myself lucky that I only slid so far before realizing where I was headed and got myself back on track. Now I have more energy than anyone in my office and don't need a single cup of coffee to keep my day going  I've gone from being the kid that hated P.E. class to working out 10 hours a week, and that's just because I find it fun. 
But hey, to each their own, and if couch-potatodom is your bag, well then that's just groovy baby, but don't gripe about how some people don't find you attractive - just because I have an athletic build doesn't mean I'm every woman's cup of tea either, far from it, we all have to fend for ourselves in our own way  | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 8:00:54 PM | I am not only overweight, but as some have told me overtall...whatever that is. I am 6 ft tall. I would and have dated overweight men. I am far more interested in looking through their eyes to read their hearts and souls. I received an email from a guy the other day who said he found my height/weight intimidating.....he was 5 ft 10in and even his daughters heights made him uncomfortable. Now did he want a therapy session or a slap on the back for his honesty? My vote is still out. Larger people are not a match for everyone, just as blondes may not be for some people. I think anyone who denies themselves the opportunity to know an over weight person, may be missing the golden ring. We are by far more loving, active, kind hearted and passionate when appreciated and loved by others. For health reasons I am losing weight, but will always be what my mom termed a big girl. And I'll just be d**ned if I will make excesses for who I am. If you can't be past the outside, you don't need to know what you are missing on the inside.
My hats off, an a big h*ll yeah to all of you are working on making changes in your lives for yourselves. In the end no matter what, you will always be the winner and master of your heart and soul.
People will take what they know about you and pick you apart in an attempt to make themselves feel better about their own failings in life. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 8:13:47 PM | We are by far more loving, active, kind hearted and passionate when appreciated and loved by others.
Calphalongirl I think these words ring true for anyone not just overweight people (though the use of the word "active" may be a bit of a oxymoron in that case )
I think anyone who denies themselves the opportunity to know an over weight person, may be missing the golden ring.
This thread is about dating an overweight person, no one's denying the chance to talk with one, even become friends, but dating involves sexual attraction (unless you've both been neutered ) as well and if you don't dig them that way, then that's just the way the cookie crumbles.  And I'll just be d**ned if I will make excesses for who I am.
I think you meant to say excuses, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, though use of the word excess by mistake is an interesting Freudian slip indeed
Aside from that, nice post. You shouldn't be shy about being tall, plenty of men don't mind or even prefer tall women. I know I don't mind in the slightest (then again I'm 6'1" so there aren't that many women taller than me ) | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 8:16:48 PM | | I simply see nothing wrong with dating and overweight person,I for one wont date someone who is too thin,lol,I like to feel the person I am holding close to me,lol. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 8:27:16 PM | I just know you are gonna be an english teacher. Sorry for the typos. I know the post is about dating overweight people and I did make the statement that I have dated over weight men. I will work on the spelling, if you promise not to pick me apart.  | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 8:50:59 PM | Actually I'm an engineer though I did excel in creative writing class
Didn't mean to pick you apart in a condescending fashion, but I'm a humorous smart-as5 and couldn't resist
Truce? 
P.S.: In your profile you may want to change your first line where you say you're "will you be the one I can't life without" to "live without". Sorry that's the last one I promise, I guess I'm anal retentive Best of luck in your fishing  | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/25/2006 9:23:10 PM | | Keptreal: Losing the white foods is definetly the way to go. Good luck on your goals. :) | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/26/2006 5:42:33 AM | Ok.... I'm going to say something thats not going to be popular with some people...but....
If POF put down penis size... and gave you listings that were...below average... average... above average..absolutely huge... how many men do you think would choose "below average"? Then we would have threads entitled "Why wont women date men with small packages?"
Having said that...and knowing Im going to catch hell lol....
The reality is.. we are not a species that all looks the same... in the animal kingdom most species look identical... with in many cases the MALE being the most flamboyant.... We live in a society NOW that has an over abundance of just about everything except manners... In the not so distant past.. an overweight man or woman was considered desireable because it meant they had enough to eat... In many countries today... larger women are looked upon as attractive... heck in a few countries before a woman can be considered marriage material she has to gain weight... In the US... we have reached a point where anorexic is applauded.. magazines show pictures of "before" where a woman is a healthy weight and "after" where being under 100 pounds is supposed to be attractive.
Yes.... I know that being overweight isnt attractive to some... but why is it ok to automatically assume that because a woman or a man has extra weight they dont care? Why is it ok to insult and degrade a person because they dont suit someone elses personal taste? I can attest..for myself and for other women.. that I DO care about myself... I DO take the time to look attractive... bathe... get my hair and nails done..wear makeup and dress fashionably... yet some guy can sit here and say he doesnt like "jello" arms and fat women dont care about themselves and have let themselves go... Thats just BS. You might see a very thin woman.. who you would say takes care of herself and has it goin on.. when in reality at night she throws up her meals.... binges and purges just to be accepted... But because she fits the "appearance" of society and its ideal... is she then ok? I think we have to ask ourselves.. what is really important...
Ok.... I'll hop off that guys soapbox now lol... thanks for listening... | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/26/2006 7:42:58 AM | Fluffy Vs. Thin. We have Vogue, Victoria secrets, playboy to blame. They are the ones who say that thin is sexy. Hollywood OMG don’t get me started on that. However, I have been hearing more and more that fat is back. Junk in the trunk is where its at. I would like to bring your attention to the song “I like big butts blah blah blah” It’s about time.
I tend to date men from different culture back rounds ( middle eastern, African, mostly) after all “the spice of life is variety”. In personal experience most men do prefer a woman with meat on her bones...this is excluding the North American men who have been subject to the “media” as a whole. *sorry guys*
In fact in some cultures a overweight person is proof that they are wealthy, others say that a bigger woman is good for child bearing. Now before you women jump up and down saying that the above statement is sexiest. Well maybe it is. Who cares. Different strokes for different folks.
This also brings up the issue of dating outside you own cultural background. Which was another thred I found very intersting. Some friends of mine told me I was NUTS dating middle eastern men. Friends I don’t think so.....
Looking at my past dating history, and comparing how I was treated in each relationship I would have to say hats off to the middle eastern guys.... most of them bring a new meaning to the word RESPECT, AFFECTION, and LOYALTY......Never have I been told that I should lose some weight....simply that they loved that they had more of me to love.....
So you females who have been outcased by men, that just don't see you for you.... maybe you are looking in all the wrong places..... | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/26/2006 7:56:35 AM | | I typically dont do it. I dont have to. There are plenty of fantastic women who appeal to me physically as well. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/26/2006 8:47:27 AM | alunaria_62, an interesting post though a tad preachy, and I'll just post a few retorts to some of the issues you raised (you did say you were expecting this after all ):
#1)
If POF put down penis size... and gave you listings that were...below average... average... above average..absolutely huge... how many men do you think would choose "below average"? Then we would have threads entitled "Why wont women date men with small packages?"
This thread isn't about the weight categories people put down on their profiles, there are plenty of threads entitled "why people lie about their weight" and such. This thread simply asks "would you date an overweight person or not", or "whether you've ever been snubbed because of your weight and then lost it all to show the person what they're missing". Lastly I find it hilarious you resort to the usual retort "how would you like it if we measured your penis?", when the thread is talking about a person's body on a whole. We could just as easily make threads about the size of your bust, the tightness of your genetalia, and that "not so fresh" feeling when fornicating, but we're not talking about that. Try to stay on track please
#2)
In the not so distant past.. an overweight man or woman was considered desireable because it meant they had enough to eat...
That is true, but you've conveniently negletced to mention a time when the corset was introduced to try and make people look thinner as well, I believe it was called the Victorian era? The world is a pendulum that swings between extremes, and popular taste obeys the same principles, so perhaps you would simply like to wait another few decades while North American obesity rates continue to rise and then derive a supreme sense of satisfaction in knowing you swim amongst the lowest common denominator like everyone else 
#3)
we have reached a point where anorexic is applauded.. magazines show pictures of "before" where a woman is a healthy weight and "after" where being under 100 pounds is supposed to be attractive.
I agree with you here about the media, and have even posted how no one should attempt to achieve the unrealistic and distorted body images portrayed in magazines. That being said, that doesn't mean people can't take up healthy exercise and achieve the best form they can achieve. You may not end up 36-22-36, but it sure as hell beats 36-40-36
#4)
I can attest..for myself and for other women.. that I DO care about myself... I DO take the time to look attractive... bathe... get my hair and nails done..wear makeup and dress fashionably...
Funny how exercise didn't enter that list eh? I'm not talking about exercising to look like a magazine, I'm just talking about exercisizing to improve your long-term health. Human beings weren't meant to be sedentary animals, and a slew of health complications arise from inactivity.
#5)
You might see a very thin woman.. who you would say takes care of herself and has it goin on.. when in reality at night she throws up her meals.... binges and purges just to be accepted... But because she fits the "appearance" of society and its ideal... is she then ok?
No I would say that poor woman is unhealthy as well and in need of serious medical intervention and counseling. However are you honestly going to sit back and tell me that every thin woman out there hurls her cookies after every meal? Give me a break, that's the same ridiculous excuse "I'm not fat, I have a gland problem" - Yeah 50-60% of the North American population has suddenly developed gland problems over the last two decades?... Now THAT's BS, Someone get me a shovel...
#6)
We live in a society NOW that has an over abundance of just about everything except manners...
I will agree with you there honey, and for that I apologize if my dissection of your post seems unduly harsh, but we also live in a society where no one is at fault for their own condition anymore and excuses are a dime a dozen. Kids aren't stupid, they're developmentally challenged; hyper kids need to be medicated when a good old-fashioned whack across the head shouting "pay attention" used to fix ADD way quicker and cheaper; people that succumb to alcholism/drug-use are labeled as addictive tendencies when we simply used to equate it with poor judgement... No one's at fault anymore for anything, everyone's special (which is a fancy way for saying "no one is"), and if we are never truly at fault for any failure, can we truly be responsible for any success?
Food for thought, happy fishing to all, big or small | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/26/2006 9:34:03 AM | No offense taken.... lol
I didnt add exercise in there because I was under the assumption that when most people talk about "taking care of themselves" they dont mean just that..many times in these threads I see men talk about how large women are lazy and sloppy and unkept... but.. in answer to that I will say that I do exercise.. I walk and bike.... I also have 2 jobs which require me to be active... in addition I am a volunteer ems provider..and if i couldnt haul mySELF into the rig I wouldnt be much use in hauling someone else in there either.. or restraining a patient who was out of control.... No.. I dont exercise as much as I should ... Im too pooped sometimes to even wash the dishes... and I admit on the weekends after I do the wash and the dishes and the chores and see my friends and stuff I dont much wanna work out... and yes.. I accept that some men will not find me attractive because Im not their physical ideal. Not a problem.. you wont see me complaining about it..
No every thin woman isnt tossing her cookies.. what Im sayin tho.. is that because there is so much pressure to be the "ideal"... some women .. more than you think statistically... feel they will do anything to be thin... research indicates this...and now apparently even men are doing it... so what im saying is.. lets stop the put downs and the judgementalism..and accept people for who and what they are.... accept that some like bigger and some dont...
As far as my penis comment.. I stand by that... lol | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/26/2006 9:35:44 AM | | Oh... and one more thing... medically speaking.. Im not considered "obese"...nor do I accept that over weight people are the lowest form of life... which is kind of the drift I got from your statement... if that isnt what you meant.. my apologies | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/26/2006 9:40:58 AM | No alunaria, my lowest common denominator statement was meant to say, "I'm happy just being a part of the mob". I by no means consider overweight people the bottom rung of society, murderers, rapists, molestors, etc. take that standing 
I just want people to realize that we are each in control to some extent of our lives, and that a little motivation & determination can go a long way in helping one to achieve their goals. Sadly most people seem to be lacking in that regard and more likely to sing their woes than stand up and do something about them. But that's not directed at you either, just people in general and what I see & hear on the streets and on TV...
I fear unless we can reassert control over our own lives we are doomed as a society and as a race... | |
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Rich00
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Joined: 2/7/2006
Msg: 222 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/26/2006 9:44:56 AM | Alunaria, I agree with everything you said.. people are going insane trying to be in shape. And just because some is thin, doesnt mean they are 'taking care of themselves'. ..they just possibly just have an eating disorder, and thus be in far worse shape than a bigger gal.
Personally, I couldnt care less what someone looks like.. looks will fade anyhow, right? It's a real pain being in the 20-something dating world in today's society.. people cant see past their own skin, let alone someone else's. It's quite unfortunate. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/26/2006 9:59:20 AM | Island girl^5 to you.
i weight issuesand probably always will have them...I know that and i also know alot of the guys on here that say they would date an overwight woman are just kidding themselves or are trying to kid us.
Its ok in thier mind to "hook-up" with a bbw if know one knows...late at night...in the middle of the week...but never ever ask her out on a friday or sat night....OMG someone might see them together!
But you know what...us BBW's have big hearts along with the rest of our size....we dont need to be used for a good time and then forgotten about when you want arm candy.
Me? I like me....i know what i need and i am doing what is healthy for me...staying away from men that are embrassed or scared to have a real realtionship with a real woman in a real size. | |
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Rich00
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Joined: 2/7/2006
Msg: 224 | |
| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/26/2006 10:31:07 AM | ..Just dont make the mistake that all men think alike. Some of us really do care what's on the inside. I know you didn't mean to make a generalization, but I just wanted to stick that in there.
You are right though..people (of BOTH sexes) are too much into looks, and won't start a relationship with someone they dont consider to be attractive. | |
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| dating an overweight person?
Posted: 2/26/2006 11:59:26 AM | Hey rich
So nice to hear that someone is looking at what is on the inside. Too bad there aren't more that think that way. | |
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