|
|
|
|
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/4/2006 4:45:48 AM | | Molonel... I'd like to know if you would consider me a whiner. Please note that most of the things I post are either advice for those who ARE whining, or my opinion. Don't go back to my first posts on this thread. My standpoint has changed dramatically since the beginning. I now recognize some faults that I have by reading your posts and the posts of other people, and am taking steps towards changing them. The more posts you post, the more I am agreeing with you... scary. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/4/2006 10:28:41 AM | Haha no more simple steps in life really now. Whatever you want to label a guy that is your option, please feel free to do so since we are all free moral agents of oneself. As far as me ignoring or changing the subject, all you want to do is discredit a person for having a different point of view.
And as much as you want me to feel like a delusional evil guy in sheep's clothing littlelady, you will never get to value the person I know I am since your spouting off assumptions left and right without seeing my actions. So what if I stop trying to prove myself, "your the Internet to me" as fightersbreath pointed out. Just look at her name, did you ever see my try to discredit the person cause of her name?
And my need to reply to your statements which are too far fetched for me to answer. So guys try to act all nice then back stab, but in this case we are hearing one side of the story. I was raised to hear both sides before making any guesses about how a person acts. And as far as I am concerned this OP has never been backstabed by a guy acting like a typical "nice" guy who plays that game to get into the sack. Guess what, real nice guys do not want just sex, they want the entire package. They do not want a person who will have mind sex with other people. I think they know what they want in fact.That does not mean I am perfect gentlemen and I never stated I was online. But everyday is a chance to make improvements and to struggle to stay a decent person, not my fault if people place my words out of context. I just don't feel the need to fill in every gap or answer frivolous questions that do not fit the subject. Plus I try not to chat in a forum. I happen to have the perfect view towards people who do not allow guys to have a point of view. That to me is pushy and I feel I learned my lesson with regards to Internet etiquette. How about yourself? | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/4/2006 10:38:07 AM | Um well Poorgie I agree with alot of what is said in your message but welcome to 2006. People will always disgree with someone's views if it is not the same as thiers. Is life. Just like the double standards in place too.
Remember the days of women saying "All men are a$$holes" was and is acceptable but men saying "all women want hot looking guys or money" is called generalizing and is unacceptable.
Just ignore some things that get said to you that may bother you. And believe what you yourself want to believe.
There are times when people are trying to help, although I prefer to listen to people I know personally, and there will be ones who want to have a laugh on your account and make you look worse than you are.
Take it all in stride my friend and do not let words typed get to you. Because the way they are read is going to be decided by the person who reads them. Unless a voice and tone are present words typed wnd read will alot of times be misconstrude.
Once you are down you will come to a point when you will realize there is no other way to go than up. Hang in there bud, and try to shake the title of nice guy. It brings along lots of negative thoughts to people, not positive ones. Being a great guy or decent guy is better. Nice just is not a good word nowadays. I can tell you are a decent person and you are frustrated in this dating world like many of us. Just do not let it get to you and learn from your experiences. Time is what it takes, doesn't happen overnight. Keep your chin up. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/4/2006 6:41:10 PM | I just don't feel the need to fill in every gap or answer frivolous questions that do not fit the subject.
So it was frivilous when I asked you if you would ever see the irony in the things you say?
Do you not get it? When I changed the subject, it was yet again to prove a point that I knew you would get off topic in order to avoid answering that question. Is it chatter to ask such a question? Perhaps it is. One moment you would claim to be a champion of equality, and the next you're spouting out gross generalizations. I think asking if you recognize that there is a bit of irony in that is not frivilous nor off topic.
In the end:
you will never get to value the person I know I am
That's right, because you aren't the person you "know" you are. It's not enough to just tell people that you err, just like it's not enough for people to come out and say they are "nice guys". When people point out a mistake and you choose to skip merrily along pretending it never happened, then you're avoidance proves that you are not comfortable with the person you are. And if you are, then you certainly have no conviction to stand up at accept responsibility. And it does go hand-in-hand with what this thread ultimately is about... people pretending to be something that they're not.
There is no labelling. We all have character flaws. Avoiding subject matter that you do not wish to deal with seems to be one of yours. You ask people questions and they answer... people ask you questions and you quickly move to something else. I mean you said it yourself:
So what if I stop trying to prove myself, "your the Internet to me"
So why do you continue to post if you're not trying to prove yourself? You are trying to prove yourself... but you are selective in which instances you would like to prove yourself. I mean when I asked you if you would ever see the irony of your comments, you come back to me with a 3 step program. What the hell does that have to do with anything?
Or is this Jeopardy where you give us an answer and we try to guess the question? | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/4/2006 9:26:24 PM | I hate whining, and yet I have returned to this thread over and over again, like a dog to its own vomit, to listen to it. I have no explanation for this other than the fact that dropping verbal napalm on the herd, and listening to them collectively groan, amuses me. I am definitely NOT a nice guy.
I bet this guy doesn't take baths, just licks himself clean.
Really feel like you outsmart the "herd" do ya?
Let's look at this intellectually shall we, for those of you who can think.
First of all, this thing about whining is basically saying don't have feelings about anything and don't let it trouble you and PLEASE don't upset my delicate, already damaged psyche with your complaints, I am suffering from my own thankyou very much/ or I just don't care and you annoy me (for no apparent reason other than you are there and different).
It's an aggressive way to say stop complaining and do something about it and don't bug me with it. In what is considered only one of two things. Tough love or Verbal abuse for personal amusement. The latter being symptomatic of being psychotic and there for renders the comments of the blatherer to be insignificant.
Then the complaint about the complaining is like drinking frozen orange juice concentrate. Not only do you have to deal with those complaining, you have to deal with a whiner who wines ABOUT whiners. It's like listening to squeeky wheels that aren't even on your friggin car.
Okay so I left off with the intellectual part.
Bottom line, an opinion or a complaint is for several reasons.
To get answers.
To get a balance of emotional imput, after all they aren't called emotions for nothing. All emotions are there to be experienced.
Pyschosis is NOT an emotion.
Be young, have fun, drink Pepsi and voice your concerns for what ever reason you want just talk about the subject and try to be less disenchanted that everyone doesn't see things your way. And just because they don't that doesn't make them stupid.
Stop throwing these subtle tantrums when people DON'T agree with you by calling them names. Calling someone a name is not going to make you feel better. It makes you look stupid.
dog to its own vomit
Did I hear someone cry out for help? | |
|
| |
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/5/2006 12:05:40 PM | Hi Fightersbreath.....You're right on the money about nice guys!! I was a nice guy and polite and tryed to get some girls and it did'nt go over to well. So now I just ask them if they want to F__. and the response was overwhelming.Oh, and by the way a couple of smacks don't hurt either
 | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:14:42 PM | No I do not see the irony... I can admit, I did make some generalizations at some parts of my life. But as you can see with most of my posts I do say "some women", or "most women". I do not tend to say ALL nice guys or ALL nice girls need to do this or that. And yes, I might of stated some obvious character flaws with fightersbreath and her approach to add fuel to the fire. She didn't even try to do some research about the "nice guy syndrome" which is untrue. Instead she went into left field and stated "if you say you are nice there is something wrong" The real problem is saying you are goody two shoes and then taking a turn for the worse and having bipolar traits. Not all nice guys are bipolar or have an evil plan.
As you can see she did not give us the perfect definition of a nice guy since there are many definitions on the Internet. And as you have missed, she was the one that said "you are the Internet to me", as you have tried so hard to give me an example of waffles; I gave you an example of why I was picking out a character flaw with this OP. I have my right to take her advice or give some of my own which I think is much better advice. As far as I am concerned, I know who I am...at least I don't mind screw around like the macho un-nice people who are posting and who think they are Gods gift to women. I know who to choose as my partner and will not choose multiple partners to think about... to me that is just not the decent or "nice" thing to do. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:27:02 PM |
Why do men call women derogatory names so freely and easily if they consider themselves nice men?
Depends on if the name was warranted or not. Being nice doesn't mean spinless and a push over with no gonads. Nice guys stick up for themselves and even if you say that person is great, you are still calling them a name. Godda be well rounded. Balanced. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:52:53 PM | | So many people think if you are good, you are missing out with making your own rules or changing them. I can even go as far as stating some women seem to like a nice guy to mess with, since they will forgive more easily then the not so decent guys.. What they forget is people who are nice are more selective then your typical macho guy with no real feelings. So if I do not reply to an email it means I am doing her a favor by not replying, much like many women do on POF. Having that frame of mind, I do not complain or whine about read/delete email. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/5/2006 5:54:34 PM |
So many people think if you are good, you are missing out with making your own rules or changing them.
I think it's more like. So many people think if you are good, you are missing out on making up your own rules or changing them. Because most people really have no standards that they go by other than how the other person or things in general make THEM feel. Not how to make the other person feel. Or showing an interest in other people in order to make them feel good about themselves and life in general. It's usually all about what they want. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/5/2006 6:09:13 PM | As far as I am concerned, I know who I am
Ahhh... but I don't think you are comfortable with who you are, elsewise you wouldn't have to follow up that comment with:
at least I don't mind screw around like the macho un-nice people who are posting and who think they are Gods gift to women.
Who cares? What's the big deal if someone else wants to be a certain way? You see:
I do not tend to say ALL nice guys or ALL nice girls need to do this or that
All the smoke and mirrors aside, you have a tendency to insinuate that you believe people should be like you... or who you think you are. Deep down I think you want people to come back to you in a month from now saying, "I read your 3 step program and it really worked for me! Thanks man!" On a side note... that's not really a step program, that's more of a process of elimination... but I digress.
I gave you an example of why I was picking out a character flaw with this OP.
What? Why are you suddenly using my words? This was never about character flaws until I said that. You said I was labelling, and I told you I was merely pointing out one of your character flaws. Point out where I have ever "labelled" you, and then point out where you ever said that your intent was to point out "character flaws" with the Op. Again... more smoke and mirrors.
The real problem is saying you are goody two shoes and then taking a turn for the worse and having bipolar traits.
More answers? A new twist? First it was "nice guys", then it was "guys with good manners", and now it's "goody two shoes"? How do you expect people to take your "advice" when it changes from week to week? Normally I would say change is good... but again... more smoke and mirrors.
Not all nice guys are bipolar or have an evil plan.
I would say no nice guys have an evil plan. People with an evil plan are not nice guys. Never have been, never will be. They may act nice, but they aren't. Don't you understand that that's what most of us have been saying since the beginning? REAL nice guys really ARE nice guys. They aren't pretending to be nice, they aren't only nice sometimes, and they don't go around professing to the world that they are nice guys. They just are nice guys. And chances are that there have been no real nice guys that have participated in this thread because it is ridiculous to them. They don't need a hero medal to be nice. They don't need to be admired atop their pedestal. They don't need the world to woe for them when they are jilted. And they don't need to slam an entire gender just to make themselves feel better. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/5/2006 6:49:33 PM | Hahaha! Well maybe the subject should be... Will all fake nice guys stop asking why we dont want them! Give me a break or can't you do that much?
"Who cares? What's the big deal if someone else wants to be a certain way?" And only if the OP would of felt the same way.
According to the OP all nice guys have something wrong, and some women tend to think if you are nice you are hiding something. No contest there and that was my main point. You just happen to take that last sentence out of context good job! Sometimes you need to include the entire phrase or post for it to make any sense. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/5/2006 7:14:37 PM | And chances are that there have been no real nice guys that have participated in this thread because it is ridiculous to them.
That's a great perspective to have I am glad you know how to generalize. And yes, if you read all of my posts, you too would of read about how much I agree it is better to be a nice guy instead of acting like one.
Talking about smoke and mirrors..I have included my photo twice and all you have is a rusted out car and sunset. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/5/2006 8:04:29 PM | Hey redviking,
I have to guess that you must know a lot of these women who live up to your descriptions. And that sucks! Those b*tches!
But not all women are like that, and many are very interested in thinking that the guy they are dating maybe actually IS interested in something of theirs like a brain, or opinions, or their "excitment" - that they can have a "relationship" based on mutual interests and adoration! Ok, maybe it is just me, but i doubt that!
Just a thought, anyway. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/5/2006 8:59:43 PM |
I have included my photo twice and all you have is a rusted out car and sunset.
You have poor eyesight my friend, for it is a truck, not a car.
And good for you including your picture. Would you like your hero cookie now? What does that have to do with anything? And how is it smoke and mirrors that I don't have a picture of me? Do you even have any idea of what that phrase means? Or is it like everything else where someone uses a phrase so you take it and try and use it for your own self without understanding what it means? That just sounds like a bunch of cinnamon and gravy to me. Can't wait to see how you use that one.
You know you cannot hold your own on this issue, so again... shall we wander off topic? I guess so. What's next? Are you going to point out that I have a child whilst you do not? Is that the next irrelevant issue you need to bring to this thread? How about that the Steelers won the Super Bowl? More smoke and mirrors.
I just see it that you're mad that you aren't praised as everyone's saviour in this thread. The advice that some others have given is much better than yours and you're all about the one-upmanship. It's exemplified in your defiance of other's comments, it's also exemplified in your need to try and use other people's words in an attempt to make it look like you were the one who said it. Why can't you just accept that someone else has already said it better... about 25 - 30 (maybe more, maybe less) pages ago? | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/5/2006 9:31:06 PM | Why can't you just accept that someone else has already said it better... about 25 - 30 (maybe more, maybe less) pages ago?
I would have to say it was said best the first page. But then again, we have trolls like yourself who have the need to nit pick other peoples opinion. I never stated my advice was any better. Maybe you think I think I am Mr perfect with the perfect advice for Mr nice guy. But at least it is better then saying all nice guys are in need of advice. The OP has stated it as truth by saying all nice guys need help.
Instead of focusing your trolling skills on people who say, "come on give the nice guys a break, they are not into breaking girls hearts as much as a player would"; try to focus on the guy who broke a few laws in the past few months and has had fifty break ups.
Figure out the tell tell signs dude... once that nice guy asks the sex question before getting to know more about the girl... you know he is just [acting] like a nice guy.
Please tell me some of your nice guy advice someday instead of trying to put people down for having a part in a discussion. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/5/2006 9:43:54 PM | | nice guys come in all sort of packages and they are wherever you look. The nicest ones are usually gentle caring sorts that care about you even when you are feeling unloveable. They will create a cheer in you that surpasses anything you have ever seen. You will meet a nice guy who will sweep you off your feet someday.. | |
|
| |
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/5/2006 9:54:41 PM | @That Guy Him:
I will not get rewarded for any advice or by helping anyone on the Internet. Cause I will never see these people or get anything in return. You may relax now. The irony is the writers who have made it an issue (No More Mr. Nice Guy) book, did get a very big reward in cash but it rarely helps people become better people. So some rewards are not given to the right people. You may now nit pick (troll) my post. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 2:37:16 AM | | From very young ages, at that very first sweetheart dance, boys had their most likely first lesson in rejection when asking that pretty young thing for a dance. Our first puppylove. And believe or not ladies, that memory is forever burned, or etched in stone, in a guys memory. That point on, its almost a conditioned response as we entered our formative years, i.e. high school...that the rejection now took on a more serious consequence to our psychy. It is pretty much at this stage our self-confidence takes a serious hit. We have to go through our first breakup, our first infatuation, our first hurt...because a little bit of maturity has followed us to this point. Enter college...a more mature and educated sting to our pride takes on a different shape. You see now, education takes on a more serious form...in and out of the classroom. Here, you can actually have more choices of available women, i.e. frat mixes, sporting events, etc....a concentration unlike ever seen before. More chances to meet women, yes, but also increased, and more chances, the rejection also comes. At an ever increasing pace...as we try and bust out of our parental shells' of home, we strike out on our own, moving across this country, to a new job, etc., and so it goes, rejection follows. The first post graduate job, new town or city, new places for the social setting. Now the rejection takes on an ever uglier look...cheating, divorce, falling out of love to be with another guy, etc. In a nutshell ladies...if we seem shy, u betcha, years of rejection will make us withdraw sometimes...its a 'safe' place to be. Take a look around you with just some of the profiles. Guys with just two or three adds to a favorite's list. Women, usually in the dozens if not the hundreds. Do you have the upper hand? Once again, you betcha! This how some of us guys view, see it, feel it. It might not be fair, and you might even have some empathy for our gender. But the underlying fact remains...the majority, the high percentage, of us, have been 'trained' in rejection from a very early age. Can we overcome it? Yep, we mostly do...but forever engrained is it, and does it, remain with us...that nasty word...rejection. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 3:29:37 AM | I have never seen someone dissect and put together such a befuddleing editorial of verbage like I have seen some of the Frankensteins monsters that "That Guy Him" has put together.
What a garbled mass of blathering. I mean I half-expect the guy to check for uncrossed "T's" and undotted "I's" to be displayed as flaws in conversation to discount conclusions that others have come across through their own experiences about subjects addressed that have nothing to do with the alphabet.
You don't think someone is comfortable with whom they are because of them commenting that they SAY they know who they are? That is hilarious. The guy was making a statement to PROVIDE YOU with information. It's not like he was talking to himself. THAT, could be construed as a sign of insecurity and might LEND creedance to some twisted ideology that this person is insecure, but still more evidence would be needed and not some expeditious expedition into self exhaultation. The three "e's"
Your dissection of poogies post is like reading some sit com sketch. It CAN'T even REMOTELY be taken serious by anyone who can even consider thought as a due process. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 3:51:35 AM | GOD I wish I could voice my thoughts like NASAJACK2003
This is exactly what I mean. A LOT of women expect guys to be like jocks, cold and insensitive and taggin all the booty. Anything but human. And the dejection guys get from all being lumped into one huge head monster with tendrils and eyes called "Dog" because of choices WOMEN made to bring the wrong kind of guys into their lives instead of "nice" guys is uniform.
The idea is that, everyone has elements of good and bad in them and the object is to find someone who has greater good. And intent for greater good. A lot of guys get what nasajack2003 say. I did. I didn't have a girlfriend in highschool because of this very fact. Someone wore golf cleats on my affections and that seriously introverted me for years. Nothing wrong with being a virgin until you're 23 and so there was nothing wrong with me.
Still, sleeping around was never my thing anyway, neither was being provocative and braggadocious about sexual intercourse. Now, 49, I have no illegitimate kids, no ex wives, no legitimate kids. Just a few failed relationships and heartbreaks due to being a "nice guy". So I developed a hard edge because that is what being abused by angry women who are hell bent on being the center of attention by presenting themselves as erotic to men, will do. If you display your tits and butt you are going to get men who want what? tit and butts, duh!! How hard was that.
So I just stood back and watch everyone use each other and get used and wait till I saw what came out on the other side. Godda tell you, it's sad. Most of my generration is old, sagging bags of fat abuse flesh with 2 to 3 failed marriages and 3 to 5 kids. And they did all that sleeping around and using each other. No one noticed me enough to want to be a part of my life or for me to be a part of theirs and I never have used anyone. Yet, I don't walk up and randonmly canvass women in clubs and at bars for phone numbers either. Never learned how to do that. And too many men do it so most women have a hard shell about this and blow off guys 50 times an hour. So I just don't bother because I agree with nasajack2003.
I can say I have been a decent guy, but to most womem who want their cake and eat it to. I am not if I say one thing controversial, or cuss, or feel actually. If I am human I am not a nice guy because nice guys aren't supposed to get angry, say what he feels or be outspoken like he is supposed to be Amish or something. So, they have this Frankensteins monster ideal of a guy which is just unreasonable. But I have hundreds of female friends because I was raised by women so I get along with them easier. And all of them call me the guy who is "safe" because I am not sexually aggressive to get them into bed and show myself a guy who is out to "get laid" still. In 49 years being decent, no one who wanted a "nice guy" seem to be interested in a guy like me. | |
|
| |
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 5:20:35 AM | nasajack2003 and popsicleman both your posts are dead on and so true 100%. I agree with it all and I could not have put it in better words, I just got too frustrated and pissed off. Way to explain the whole thing. 
But I have hundreds of female friends because I was raised by women so I get along with them easier. And all of them call me the guy who is "safe" because I am not sexually aggressive to get them into bed and show myself a guy who is out to "get laid" still. In 49 years being decent, no one who wanted a "nice guy" seem to be interested in a guy like me.
I am in the same boat in this comment. I know how it is. | |
|
|
| Page 51 of 53
|
13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53 |
|
Home
login 
