|
|
|
|
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 6:14:32 AM | | Footnoting to popsicle...and by the way, thanks dude for the kind, and 'nice guy' words. LOL. I have NOT come to the final conclusion yet, in my 51 years, that 'nice guys' finish last. My instincts keep telling me to hang in there. In other venues, genre, social settings and the such however, I am consistanting proven wrong. Seems that the naughty, bratty guy or bad boy, living on the very edge of irresponsiblity, someone seems to attract a high percentage of women. Staggers the imagination! I've traveled 66 countries and 42 states, with almost half my life a member of the military...and I'll tell you what, its the same world wide...give or take a few countries with strict social or religious restrictions. But those countries at the same time is the exception to the 'rule'. A example of this, albeit a preconditioned setting, can go something like this, but you'll get the meaning: take one female and put her in a room with 100 guys, and she allowed to pick just one, leaving the other 99 behind. Rejection? Sure, but totally expected. We don't suffer the 'rejection' under a condition like that. Now, take one guy and put him in a room with 100 women, and all 100 refuse to consider the one guy...now that's a raw definition of rejection. Bring all that into the common social settings of our world and tell me that what I used as that example has not come pretty close to actually what happens, or has happened to some of us. Fill in the blanks with your own examples or what you have witnessed as an observer. I'll bet you a high percentage of men has come close, or actually have, experienced something close to that example. Carry on dudes!! (U don't know) Jack | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 6:45:31 AM | Well, it looks like there are a few who "get it"... and a lot who say "do whatever you need to to get some!". It's nice to see that a few women over the course of this thread have seemed to "get it".
I still don't buy into letting women make the rules; I don't buy into going after sex and not worrying about anything else; I do think a lot of women have put themselves on pedestals and give men about as much respect as a mangy dog; I believe in women and men being equal; I beleive in NOT screwing around with 50 peopel by the time you're 30; I beleive men and women shoudl respect one another; I beleive in being a mature responsible person who is responsible for their own choices, but is not blamed for the choices of others; and I believe in getting into a relationship for the right reasons and being mature and responsible in that relationship once it's established.
So while some may say I'm whining, I'm going to keep on living the way I'm living and keep on expressing my views on the subject... maybe I'll score less than some guys and date fewer women than some guys (but really guys, what does it say about YOU if all you care about is attention from women and as many F*cks as possible?), maybe I'd get more action if I let "what women want" dictate who I am, maybe women would want me more if I accepted narcisstic demanding male-hating women into my life with open arms... but at the end of the day, I'll know that I've been a.) true to myself, b.) done the right thing and been a quality human being, and c.) I'll either be alone and happy with who I am, or I'll be with a genuinely nice, intelligent, mentally and emotionally stable woman who is capable of forming an equal partnership, who respects me (and men in general), who does not dedmand more than she gives, etc.
I never said such women don't exist... simply that they are far rarer than they should be...
And while I'm sure there's plenty of guys here who have slept with far more women than I have, and have dated far more women than I have (and therefore are 100% correct in their advice to nice guys on how to attract women and "score" with them- assuming that is even the "nice guys" goal- which if you're really a "nice" guy, it's not!).... I'll take any of you on when it comes to comparing the *quality* of the personalities of the women I've had relationships with (or the quality of the sex for that matter... genuine caring and respect make *that* better too!). | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 7:16:25 AM | | Popsicleman has hit the ball way out of the park with what he said. I love how you said many, many of these women leave what they got for "something better" I can attest to this fact. I heard it after 12 years of essentially living for the one I was with. Then they go out with their "girls" (who almost universally are divorced, or whore around on their husband) and hear that their own life could be so much better. Its always the same, women always hold the perception that they can "find someone better". I will piss people off with this statement but I do not think there is a man on here that will not agree. *excluding these "men" that will concur with the women in hopes of getting them in the sack. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 7:28:29 AM | I will not say all nice men, nice being a display of nice mannerisms, have a hidden agenda to get what they want. It just means they were taught nice manners when they were young. But that is what the OP started saying if you can read. She said all nice men need to stop asking woman why they don't like them. Of course it is good that she stated women as backstabbers as well, so she is sort of balanced in her thinking there but not balanced with the generalization of ALL nice guys having a problem with being shy or being a backstabber.
Has nothing to do with manners, being nice. That is how she presented with her post and I did not agree with that statement. When I say some guy is decent, that means they have some kind of morals, knowing right from wrong. So maybe people will understand my posts and the reason I have used decent instead of nice. Nice is about having manners, look it up in the dictionary Thatguyhim. Are you trying to be super sensitive??? You might be a nice guy according to the book that started all of these nice guy generalizations.
Pete137, it depends on who you spend your time with. If you are trying to make it a 50/50 relationship, you make time for your spouse. If you hang around the wrong crowd for so long, that attitude they have will rub off on you as well. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 7:36:14 AM | | To 'keptreal'...I personally don't have a rejection problem...just clustering all the blog entries in as few words as possible and insumation. Working for NASA does not give me the 'upper hand'. I never use the job as an attraction 'tool', I just try and be myself. If anything, if I meet people, male or female, outside dating sites, I rarely reveal the job in order to prevent the attachment that might go with it. I want me to be seen for me. Now, I will admit to something here...I do find alot of shallowness among a few women here and there on dating sites, i.e., they don't like bald men, etc. Well, I turn that around and merely state in a humorous fashion that I don't like bald women! LOL. Its not a defense mechanism, I just use the tools they themselves hand out. I try and 'mirror' their own statements. Not to be nasty or anywhere close to it...just revealing. (U don't know) Jack | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 7:43:01 AM | | Oh yea...forgot the most important part, the part I do practice and uphold to myself...the part you mention about: charm, humor, self esteem and most of all respect for women. I possess and hold dear those very values you mention...for myself, and when appropiate, for women. One other thing...thanks for your comments as well, they are welcomed! | |
|
| |
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 10:36:12 AM |
This has givin you a disrespectful attitude towards women.
This needs proof. you would have to do some SERIOUS stretching and obscuring of facts to come to this conclusion based on what he said...Mr Keptreal. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 10:38:32 AM |
Molonel... I'd like to know if you would consider me a whiner. Please note that most of the things I post are either advice for those who ARE whining, or my opinion. Don't go back to my first posts on this thread. My standpoint has changed dramatically since the beginning. I now recognize some faults that I have by reading your posts and the posts of other people, and am taking steps towards changing them. The more posts you post, the more I am agreeing with you... scary. - mystriousnetrix
Most people don't like to admit agreeing with me. It's okay. I'm used to it.
And no, you haven't struck me as someone who whines. | |
|
| |
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 11:31:03 AM | Okay, popsicleman. I was going to leave you be, but evidently you're in the mood, so I'll oblige.
I bet this guy doesn't take baths, just licks himself clean. - popsicleman
If this is to be a battle of wits, then that is not a propitious beginning for you, my friend. I realize that the thought of me licking myself probably excites you, but this really isn't an appropriate forum for sharing that.
Really feel like you outsmart the "herd" do ya? Let's look at this intellectually shall we, for those of you who can think. First of all, this thing about whining is basically saying don't have feelings about anything and don't let it trouble you and PLEASE don't upset my delicate, already damaged psyche with your complaints, I am suffering from my own thankyou very much/ or I just don't care and you annoy me (for no apparent reason other than you are there and different). - popsicleman
I don't particularly care if I outsmart them, although for several (yourself included), that would be no large or onerous task. I marveled that I returned so often to this odious thread. I must say, however, that you are not the first apologist for whiners. poorgie has offered us the insight that, hey, at least they aren't terrorists.
This is true, by the way. I'd rather anyone be a whiner than a terrorist. For whatever THAT is worth.
Then there is you, offering us the counter-intuitive observation that simply asking someone not to whine like a little b**** all the time is asking them not to have feelings.
Nothing could be further from the truth. By all means, have feelings. But I don't think it's tasking you overmuch to say, hey, man: you're an adult. Quit navel-gazing. Quit lifting the sweaty wad of sweater lint out of your belly button, and contemplating it as if it were the meaning of the universe. You guys know what your problem is. You've received numerous insights from women on how to be more successful at what most of you evidently SUCK at doing, though redviking, as always, resists with ferocious intensity the idea that women understand what women want.
Now DO something about it.
Yet, this completely reasonable request is greeted with the response that has now become de rigueur in this thread:
More whining. And more defending that whining. And more explanations about how whining is a completely sensible thing for a grown man to do.
It's an aggressive way to say stop complaining and do something about it and don't bug me with it. In what is considered only one of two things. Tough love or Verbal abuse for personal amusement. The latter being symptomatic of being psychotic and there for renders the comments of the blatherer to be insignificant. - popsicleman
The funny thing is, I'm sure you typed that sentence with a completely straight face. Do you even know what psychotic MEANS? Probably not, if you think merely handing out verbal abuse for personal enjoyment - which, by the way, you are doing, yourself - is symptomatic of psychosis. I know that psychology degree you earned from the degree mill for the low low price of $59.95 looked real, but it doesn't make you an expert.
Then the complaint about the complaining is like drinking frozen orange juice concentrate. - popsicleman
This is not an especially rousing metaphor. You're trying too hard.
Has the irony occurred to you, yet, that you are now complaining about complaining about complaining?
Probably not. And who am I to point it out?
Not only do you have to deal with those complaining, you have to deal with a whiner who wines ABOUT whiners. It's like listening to squeeky wheels that aren't even on your friggin car. - popsicleman
Again with the convuluted metaphors, sheesh. Where wines are concerned, I prefer a meaty red full cab, or a red zin, or a merlot.
Okay so I left off with the intellectual part. - popsicleman
As far as I can see, you never began.
Stop throwing these subtle tantrums when people DON'T agree with you by calling them names. Calling someone a name is not going to make you feel better. It makes you look stupid. - popsicleman
Well, calling me stupid evidently made YOU feel better, so that puts the lie in your statement. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 11:35:38 AM | Mr Popsicleman...dude...you're right, 'scimming' and 'clipping' what is read, i.e., my past and recent diatribes, surely has some completely 'missing' the message. As we both know, it was a 3rd person, generic commentary of what's experienced here...for the most part having nothing to do with our personal lives, tragedy and/or success. Keep 'em honest! Hig 5's all around!! (U don't know) Jack | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 12:09:57 PM | Red Viking...i have to concur! You nailed it brother.
The unfortunate truth is despite all this hollow equality, women know they're only EFFECTIVE true power card is the sexuality one that is (still) afforded to them by society. Equality my sweet round ass...it's called lowering salaries by an average of 30%. The only Equality i see is that a proportionate number of men and women are buying into the gender stereotypes that nobody likes...(these traits have been well documented on this thread, no need to reiterate) I haven't met too many on either side that are willing to rise above as opposed to emulating what they claim to detest. When push comes to shove - tigers don't change their stripes...and they also eat their young. I have many female friends and i find it interesting (if not sadly bemusing) that they all say the same thing - " I don't like most women, i don't like what they are about". So women out there, don't get uptight when you hear it from a man cuz 'Venus and Mars' is a good ruse to take your money - nothing else.
Word! | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 12:23:13 PM | LMAO
molonel.
O god let me stop laughing. I can't see through all the tears. What am I now? An assignment?
Now you've got a focus to whine about. Moi. How nice!
As far as I can see, you never began.
Of course you can't see pumpkin, we all know you can't see. The only thing you can see is people who complain. I bet in the middle of a conversation you will stop everyone and say,
"WAIT! My sensitive super hearing has picked up someone complaining some where. I need to change from my scecret identity into..." what ever it is you change in to.
Especially using the joke about what kind of wine you like? OUCH that hurt. wait, vintage 1813? Not the wine, the joke.
I am dead, you got me. Dissected and all. You are DEFINATELY the better man. Guess you showed me huh? Any other colorful cliche's anyone? | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 12:35:40 PM | How interesting...
out of all of you who've been pounding away on your little keys, how many actually feel better now? I certainly hope someone does for all the energy spent here. I can see some ppl seem to be spending more time on attacks, excuses & analogies than finding something to be happy about. In this day & age, I find it pathetic that grown ups are still anable to handle the realities of just how the genders relate(or fail to relate) to each other. If you call yourself a "nice guy(gal)", good for you. I hope it gives you all the satifaction of any fancy title out there. The title however, is not the talent. If you pick apart your situation until your so jaded you can't see three feet from your nose, it changes nothing.
No, there are no set rules about how women/men go about envolving themselves with their potential mates(other than they go after what they want). If you find that you don't fill that role, so what? Would you rather that same woman/man pretend for a while then walk away after you've had a small taste?
If the proverbial "nice guy" definition means sitting for hours on the computer venting about the conditions that led to your being single... I'm not going to want the "nice guy" either! Show me that you're a whole person who has a great time out with the boys, the girls or just by yourself & you get the accolades.
...my 2 cents...
 | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 12:49:53 PM | How interesting...
out of all of you who've been pounding away on your little keys, how many actually feel better now? I certainly hope someone does for all the energy spent here. I can see some ppl seem to be spending more time on attacks, excuses & analogies than finding something to be happy about. In this day & age, I find it pathetic that grown ups are still anable to handle the realities of just how the genders relate(or fail to relate) to each other. If you call yourself a "nice guy(gal)", good for you. I hope it gives you all the satifaction of any fancy title out there. The title however, is not the talent. If you pick apart your situation until your so jaded you can't see three feet from your nose, it changes nothing.
No, there are no set rules about how women/men go about envolving themselves with their potential mates
Well don't I feel small? Pounding out on my little keys? You say this as if this is some kinna therapy? It's clever retorts and witticisms juxtapose opinons. For you it might seem like it takes this IMAGINED monumental effort we all seem to need or like I am venting and need to feel better after I vent. But the whole idea of an exchange of words is to comment.
It takes hardly any effort at all and just flows for some. Sorry you don't approve your highness. No real thinking is needed if you can see the OBVIOUS flaws in someone reasoning. That's what is commented on, obvious flaws. And the anonymity just gives it that extra bite of inconsideration. But I don't take it as seriously psychotic as you seem to.
As far as no set rules? Sorry, I dissagree. In our society there are set rules. And processes.
Women:
For as long as I can remember, women wear the Tiaras at the Prom or Home comming.
They get the corsages.
They are the ones courted or asked out and not vise versa unless you are a Rock Star or a Jock.
They get the money spent on them.
They decide if you sleep together or not. Otherwise it's date rape.
You walk them to the car if it's dark out.
You walk them to the door.
They want you to remember special days, or days that are special to them.
They want you to go into every store in the world and when you go to ONE store you want, they wait outside. LMAO
You ask THEM for their phone number.
If you don't tell them how good they look , you have committed a MAJOR trepass.
You open doors for them.
You pull their chair out for them.
Try wandering into a Congressmans or Senators social setting and not know these rules that don't exsist. You won't last long. Maybe in a more barbarac setting where women sit in dresses like they are wearing pants cause they don't care and are going to be "themselves". And burp and fart with the best of the men and no one raises an eyelid. But in a social setting there are rules that are either taught in etiquette or are understood by proper upbringing. And men, gentlemen, follow those rules. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 12:55:21 PM |
LMAO. molonel. O god let me stop laughing. I can't see through all the tears. What am I now? An assignment? Now you've got a focus to whine about. Moi. How nice! - popsicleman
Sprinkling your posts with AOL-isms and faux French phrases makes you seem not only confident, but clever. Seriously. It almost makes up for the overall lack of substance in what you write. But not quite.
Of course you can't see pumpkin, we all know you can't see. The only thing you can see is people who complain. I bet in the middle of a conversation you will stop everyone and say, "WAIT! My sensitive super hearing has picked up someone complaining some where. I need to change from my scecret identity into..." what ever it is you change in to. - popsicleman
Pumpkin? Shucks, sugarplum. That rejoinder was so lame, I went limp just reading it. It's interesting that you say I only hear people complain, when you just replied to a post where I told someone he didn't. I know consistency is hard for you, my Wittle Wuv Muffin, but the rewards are worth it. Focus.
Especially using the joke about what kind of wine you like? OUCH that hurt. wait, vintage 1813? Not the wine, the joke. - popsicleman
You don't see the irony of someone who pretends to intellectually dissect me claiming to deal with "a whiner who wines ABOUT whiners?"
Ah well. I guess I'll skip the joke about which cheese you want to order with your whine.
I am dead, you got me. Dissected and all. You are DEFINATELY the better man. Guess you showed me huh? Any other colorful cliche's anyone? - popsicleman
Pish! Flattery will get you everywhere, you big hunk. When you're ready to drop the, "I'm laughing so hard and avoiding this discussion because I'm so witty and clever" schtick, you let me know. That false sense of confidence probably jives well, I'm sure, with the over-40 lonely divorcee set, which appears to be your target audience. But you betray yourself with the three rather lengthy final paragraphs in your profile which could easily be summarized, "Oh, me so horny! Me love you long time!"
Come on, sparky. You threw the gauntlet down. If you don't have any uumph to back it up, there's no shame in admitting it. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 1:12:57 PM |
And then there is poorgie, whose "evidence" was discredited what, ten pages ago? - molonel
There is evidence all over the internet, do your research I have. Oh I forgot, you make up your own research. Nevermind. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 1:15:14 PM |
There is evidence all over the internet, do your research I have. Oh I forgot, you make up your own research. Nevermind. - poorgie
You quoted a man with degrees in "Creative Intelligence" from the Maharishi European Research University, and a Ph.D. from a degree mill that was shut down by the state of California. You haven't done any research. You'll just quote any crackpot who agrees with you.
Next? | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 1:20:26 PM | Triggered a bit of defensiveness in you have I?
I see you've taken my "perspective" & attacked it.
Popsicle, you have a very limited argument, I'm afraid.
You have stormed through my post & huffed out a bitter retort.
While some of your concepts are true to the idea of how to treat a female, they are not rules for them alone.
This is not highschool, this is life. The prom ended years ago & reality took hold.
Anyone can wear/give flowers for any reason they please & rape is rape no matter who the victim is.
They are the ones courted or asked out and not vise versa unless you are a Rock Star or a Jock.
They get the money spent on them.
You walk them to the car if it's dark out.
You walk them to the door.
They want you to remember special days, or days that are special to them.
They want you to go into every store in the world and when you go to ONE store you want, they wait outside.
You ask THEM for their phone number.
If you don't tell them how good they look , you have committed a MAJOR trepass.
You open doors for them.
You pull their chair out for them.
You just feel free to hang onto those ideas, that's your right. Once, these ideas were concidered the norm, as were a whole slew of "how a woman should act" periodicals. But remember, just because you remember things done a particular way, does not make it the only option.
Try wandering into a Congressmans or Senators social setting and not know these rules that don't exsist. You won't last long.
...and don't make uneducated assumptions about a person you do not know.
You and I are strangers, don't pretend otherwise.
You are not by my side when I go to work with high end political figures.
| |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 1:20:52 PM |
You'll just quote any crackpot who agrees with you.
Really now, it is all common sense. If I wanted to stop having manners I could start hanging out in your neck of the woods instead of buying a book labeled No More Mr. Nice Guy. Who is next? Oh nobody else is cause they all agree. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 1:28:06 PM |
Really now, it is all common sense. If I wanted to stop having manners I could start hanging out in your neck of the woods instead of buying a book labeled No More Mr. Nice Guy. Who is next? Oh nobody else is cause they all agree. - poorgie
No, it's not all common sense, and once again, you're dodging the point that your "clinical" argument that you trotted out umpteen pages ago has been shot full of holes, and found wanting. So just saying, "Everyone should know this stuff" simply isn't true. It's self-help claptrap, and if you don't have anything better to offer, then hush up about it as if it is a valid argument that people refuse to deal with. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 1:32:15 PM | | How come all the hot ****es are from Canada? It's flippin cold up there right? So why do we have all these illegal mexicans coming up from the warm south yet the sexy women of Canada stay in the sub zero temps??? Wheres the logic? You would think there would be immigration issues coming from the north not the south. (Just an FYI- I have no problem with mexicans, just do the math people) | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 1:37:51 PM | | Stating ALL nice guys fit into the unwanted category is madness. And once again, you feel the need to downplay my arguments which you can agree are true. Guys who argue or whine online do not need to worry about a Texas SWAT team going into their house if they are a part of the POF broken hearts forum. | |
|
| Will all the nice guys stop asking why we dont want them!
Posted: 2/6/2006 1:59:38 PM | To spiceygamble:
We're not all here to bagger or batter either gender, although it could seem that way, or some may actually set out to do that. My time spent here is only a small portion of my day...nothing that I have to live or die over if I don't get here any one particular day or the next. Not trying to be rude at all, nor critical of your observations, which by the way has some very valid points, its just a sometime hobby and a entertaining one at that. Collective views from sheparding other comments within this blog, and then giving as much of a generic opinion is all I go for and attempt to do. I will never 'attack' anyone here for a 'constitutional' opinion, hoping I receive a like consideration. If anything, creating healthy 'arguements', disagreements and/or discussions is my intent, which is no way should be considered an 'attack'...to the person, or his/hers comments. You have a nicely read profile, as do most here...only difference, you're good looking to boot! Cheers! Carry on the struggle! (U don't know) Jack | |
|
|
| Page 52 of 53
|
13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53 |
|
Home
login 
