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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/26/2009 8:46:32 AM | I find the problem with online dating is that theres too much focus on interests and being compatible. In real life the first thing that attracts you to someone is always looks, then you find out more about them and decide if you want to take it further.
I have been using www.faceblob.com to promote my profile as its more about if you grab someones attention, then they can find out about you from other sites such as this. Its been working really well, Ive had quite a lot of guys get in touch so far, we all know that for guys, its more of a visual thing. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/26/2009 1:57:54 PM | It makes sense there would be decent men online: Guys I'm friends with, who are both college educated and all-around good people, just never seem to land a girlfriend because in real life they happen to be shy. From what they tell me, they'll use online dating, get rejected endlessly, and then finally just close their profiles after complete failure.
It makes no sense there would be decent women online: The only girl I've ever known in real life to use online dating, had so many problems, it made my head spin. She was basically undateable, and if you ever met her, it would be obvious. She received a ton of attention online, and even went on some dates.
I think the dynamics of this may change for the 50+ group, but for my age group, I am certain this is true. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/26/2009 2:09:17 PM | It makes sense there would be decent men online: Guys I'm friends with, who are both college educated and all-around good people, just never seem to land a girlfriend because in real life they happen to be shy. From what they tell me, they'll use online dating, get rejected endlessly, and then finally just close their profiles after complete failure.
It makes no sense there would be decent women online: The only girl I've ever known in real life to use online dating, had so many problems, it made my head spin. She was basically undateable, and if you ever met her, it would be obvious. She received a ton of attention online, and even went on some dates.
How does this make sense???? So a decent woman can't be shy??? And if your logic did make sense why would a decent guy go online to try to attract a woman who by your definiton couldn't be decent??? Sounds like a faulty thought process to me. | |
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IPLOVE
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Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 2479 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/16/2009 6:29:39 PM |
In my travels, I have found that several basic types of women frequent online dating sites: 1. Stuck-up, snooty women who think they are God’s gift to men. With the tons of e-mail they get from hopeful suitors, they acquire both swelled heads and a wildly unrealistic opinion of their market value in the dating world. Women like this are clearly suffering from what I call ‘Princess Syndrome’. A characteristic symptom of the malady is having a stringent laundry list of ‘requirements’ and ’standards’ few men could ever hope to meet. 2. Attention junkies. 3. Gold-diggers. No explanation needed here! 4. Professional daters who, sucked in by the endless choice online dating appears to offer, keep looking for the Bigger, Better Deal. Ad nauseam. Scratch a professional dater, and you’ll likely find someone with a serious fear of commitment lurking underneath. The type of woman mentioned in (2) above often fits into this category. 5. Teases who get off on rejecting men for sport. These women should have a big “L” branded in their foreheads - “L” for “Loser”, of course. 6. Desperate single mothers. If you ever see a profile where a woman says, “My children mean everything to me”, RUN! This is code-speak that means a woman is basically married to her children, and if you get involved with her, you’ll find that you rank dead last. Right down there with Fido, if you’re lucky. 7. Russian/ Eastern European women or women from other foreign countries where poverty and crime is rife. Probably half of these women are allied with fraudsters seeking to fleece lonely men. 8. Drunks, druggies, other assorted psychopaths. The strange thing about the online dating sites I’ve been on is that there are few women who could be considered ugly. (Unless of course, they’re the ones who post a profile but no pic).
Bravo you nailed it!
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/16/2009 10:18:47 PM | This does bring up a lot of interesting and valid points, but I don't think it's necessarily easier for women as far as getting lucky and finding a good match; they may receive many more emails than guys but I tend to think it only serves in getting there hopes up more often. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/22/2009 12:46:46 AM | This is a reply to Eborys' post. I 100% agree with you. Internet dating is impossible for men and is even worse when in a geographic area that people seem very unlike me!  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/22/2009 2:28:19 AM | i have to disagree with SOME of your comments on this subject because for me, it isnt all about a lexus and he has to be a doctor etc...just once i would like to meet a man who is ok in his appearence but who dosnt LIE! I could care less if they are rich or poor, tall or short, BLACK OR WHITE or what kind of job they have!!! if one dosnt have a car, so what! not everybody is even fortunate enough to have a car. i dont think im a model BY FAR!! but im not a total dog either and i have emailed plenty of men and have been ignored!! i really think it is all personal choices and what attracts the individual person. I asked to rate my profile once and someone told me i shouldn't put that i like RAP MUSIC CUZ OF MY AGE I SUPPOSE? but even if i was eighty, why should that matter? dont get me wrong if i see a fine man im gonna try and get at him IF HE HAS OTHER QUALITIES ALSO!! Definetly not just because he is cute but you men are TOTALLY VISUAL when it comes to women!! So how can you say that women are totally about looks and what a man posses? Material things dont mean a damb thing . i think its about being honest honest honest. OK THE PEANUT GALLERY HAS SPOKEN! thanx for the space | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:06:37 AM | | I think women just use this place to boost there own egos and see how many hits they can get, dating sites are for ppl who are looking for someone not somewhere for u to make yourself feel better girls | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/22/2009 12:51:02 PM |
Most importantly, recognise that it is your job to contact the women. Not the other way around. You say that you've only sent out 15 e-mails. That's pathetic! You've got to work a lot harder than that. Also, learn how to catch their eye when you e-mail them. Put up a good title. Try to be natural and interesting in your message. These are all skills that you need to develop if you are going to be successful in your search for a relationship. Finally, don't put yourself across as being needy. Women avoid needy men like the plague. Be positive and don't take your self so seriously. And the most important piece of advice: READ THE FORUMS AND FIND OUT WHAT WOMEN WANT.
I must say that is complete bullsh*t!
some old fashioned social status crap that says that it is the mans job to contact the women? WAKE UP IT'S THE 21ST Century here! women are supposed to have equal rights now adays, and that means asking out the men too!
don't just leave it up to us to do everything!!!!! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/22/2009 3:18:17 PM | | Man, you sure nailed it, couldn't have said it better myself or anyone else actualy. I' m done with this site, women are not serious and they don't take this site seriously, it's like a game to them. I think they just want attention from POF. They think they're gonna find a knight in shinning armor on a free dating site, not too bright. That's my 2 cents. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:07:21 PM |
I never said all guys send hi messages. only 198 out of 200 so far.
And the two who made a bit of effort to say hello properly got a reply from me.
See and here is the problem. I have noticed a lot of women want a book for a first message. It's unrealistic. I realize women want to be flattered by the guy writing a message and talking about something he liked in her profile but come on, be fair. In a real life situation if a guy approaches you what is usually the first thing he says? "Hello" or "Hey, hows it going". I myself share the OPS pain on this subject. See I have writen books for messages and I have sent the typical "Hey hows it going?" and what have I gotten in return? read/deleted. Only some of the time does the person even bother to check my profile. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/22/2009 9:18:09 PM | 1. Online dating sucks for all people. So does a lot of other type of dating. LOL.
2. You are superficial too. You want the hot girl, but you think she should pick you out instead of a hot guy.
3. You ignore the plight of the non-hot women.
4. What the hell does this have to do with you being white? Omg. Racist anyone?
5. Maybe you're not as good looking as you think you are. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/22/2009 9:18:34 PM |
> I never said all guys send hi messages. only 198 out of 200 so far.
> And the two who made a bit of effort to say hello properly got a reply from me.
See and here is the problem. I have noticed a lot of women want a book for a first message. It's unrealistic. I realize women want to be flattered by the guy writing a message and talking about something he liked in her profile but come on, be fair.
The problem is that the vast majority of women have nothing usable in their profile to write something more than hello. One or two sentence profiles about how she loves to have fun and travel... maybe a couple generic personality traits and then photos. I've lost count on how many women here that I would have written if there was something I could write about from their profile. I know a 'hello/hi' one liner won't get anywhere so I don't bother. I am not so classless as to write something about her physical traits from the photos so I just wouldn't respond.
1. Stuck-up, snooty women who think they are God’s gift to men. With the tons of e-mail they get from hopeful suitors, they acquire both swelled heads and a wildly unrealistic opinion of their market value in the dating world. Women like this are clearly suffering from what I call ‘Princess Syndrome’. A characteristic symptom of the malady is having a stringent laundry list of ‘requirements’ and ’standards’ few men could ever hope to meet.
Online dating is a lot like engineering school when it comes to dating. Because of that, it all seems normal to me. :) | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/22/2009 9:19:31 PM | I have been on here for a year now, and had little success. I think everyone is still looking for that dream person. Which is great, everyone should look for that dream person, but they are also looking for them in the dream packaging. Women want these Adonis' who are cut like they came out of magazines. They also want them to be charming, sweet, attentive, and loyal. Men want these large breasted women, who desire sex all the time, and they want them to sit home while they go out and flirt with the local nightlife.
If these people exist they have been married off long ago and are in great marriages to each other. Any man on here that looks like that, and is like that will be off this site in a month. Any woman like that will be gone in three days. Those men who are on here and are like that but on here longer then that month are to good to be true, probably looking for sex, and you are probably the other woman. Any girl on here like that... well girls aren't as sexually driven to the point where they need the internet to find sex, mainly because they are the one who decides when sex will occur. | |
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dwf44
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Joined: 3/21/2009
Msg: 2494 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/23/2009 8:28:25 AM | | I think the primarily difference between men and women on dating sites is that women ( in general ) will probably get more initial emails. But both genders have to deal with many of the same things. People who have unrealistic expectations. People who are rude. People who are dishonest about their appearance etc. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/25/2009 10:34:29 AM |
The problem is that the vast majority of women have nothing usable in their profile to write something more than hello. One or two sentence profiles about how she loves to have fun and travel... maybe a couple generic personality traits and then photos. I've lost count on how many women here that I would have written if there was something I could write about from their profile. I know a 'hello/hi' one liner won't get anywhere so I don't bother. I am not so classless as to write something about her physical traits from the photos so I just wouldn't respond.
Women are also between a rock and a hard place as to what to include or omit from thier profiles. Other than a "Point to ponder," of a lighthearted nature, I don't have much in my profile past the requisite description. Everyone is so different it's hard to know what to mention, what will spark their interest? Well, if we knew THAT none of us would need to be here. LOL
I try to have enough to ilicit a response, and I always answer messages. If someone takes the time and effort to message me, it's only polite to respond. Miss Manners, aren't you proud of me?
At any rate, I generally get the most responses from the forums. I read someone opinons and if I find them interesting, I view their profiles. That is usually enough to get a response if there are mutual interests. Or points of disargument. I love a good debate! | |
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| Profile Vagueness
Posted: 4/25/2009 2:37:14 PM | | "Women are also between a rock and a hard place as to what to include or omit from thier profiles." Well, most of the ones I've read up on don't seem to be, because they list specific activities and hobbies in their profiles. You say your interests are "many and varied" without listing a single specfic example - so no one doing a word search for profiles mentioning a particular interest will find yours. Also, you say you are looking for "Talk/Email" - not a popular category, I suspect. Some guys may want to be chat buddies, but bear in mind that most men are not so "verbal" and are probably on here to meet someone in person. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/25/2009 3:07:59 PM | | I have to disagree with you that online dating sucks for guys and is good for women. Personally, I've not placed a lot of credence in pictures since they usually aren't indicative of how a person truly looks. Regarding responses, I don't know why anyone wouldn't have the courtesy to respond to someone's email, but etiquette doesn't seem to be a prerequisite for this site. Women may have luck in date invitations, but quite frankly either I'm a magnet for deception, or there are quite a few men on this site not playing honestly and fairly. Send me an email....I'll respond. :) | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/25/2009 3:47:52 PM | well that is what I have found with site. As you stated men have to Intiate just about everything, as in first contact, all the messaging and what I don't unerstand is, that why list yourself on this web site ,wait on this dating site, and say your looking for long term, and your only looking for free meal, lunch or dinner. I mean, I went out on a date with a nice looking woman ,and as we talking she said to me that most of the girls that she knows on this site do this. I said what are you talking about? she said, it what they call free food, you go on a date with a not so good looking man and you, know that he will take you to lunch or dinner, he is trying to impress you , he will do his best , and you make out with the freebees. I said is this a joke?. she said no. I don't mean to hurt you, but I have a boyfriend, so I said to her why , are you on this date? for the food silly. I'm 6.l and about 290.0 lbs I'm not 6.l with a six pack with blonde hair looking for peace of ass. I read this all this, Don't contact me if your looking for quick peace. They all say that !! I wish all those people looking , for love to find it. dave | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/25/2009 4:34:42 PM | I read quite a few of the posts in this thread, and I agree.
I just want to make a correction though:
"INTERNET DATING: AWESOME FOR GOOD LOOKING WOMEN, TERRIBLE FOR ALL MEN"
I have decided to stop giving this sort of thing a shot and any attempts to meet women I will do them in real life. It's such an unfair environment, any remotely good looking woman will most certainly get many messages a day and gets to have their pick, and if they don't like the one they tried, they can always go back and choose from other tens or hundreds of messages.
Us guys are the ones who have to bear those frustrations and annoyances, we are the ones that have to waste time being creative with our messages, while a good looking girl only has to sit down, log in, and voila! check her inbox for tons of candidates. Perhaps that's life and the way things are, but it's certainly not an optimistic outlook.
Is this disappointment? For sure. I thought it'd be fun and a different way to meet people, but how judgmental or misleading people can be is a big turn off, and frankly I lost the motivation to read profiles and think of something to say only to be ignored due to an ego boosted girl swimming in a sea of messages.
I deserve better than that. | |
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