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| Profile Vagueness
Posted: 4/26/2009 7:02:05 AM | Actually, Shorelife, I wasn't aware a word search was possible on POF.
I am not complaining about the responses I am getting. As I said I get responses from Forums and views from either them or me, which is enough to get an idea if we want to contact one another.
I was more encouraging men to try these other avenues. I don't believe the hobbies and interests that informative. Everyone wants to walk on the beach, play sports, likes the outdoors, wants honesty, etc.
If a man is negative in more what they don't want, I am less interested. A positive attitude and if there is a photo, a smile is much more persuasive. The discovery of mutual interests, and compatable differences is part of the fun.
If someone is here for a quick "hook up" I'd rather they passed me by.
That said, your profile is thoughtful and articulate. However, I would not and could not contact you. First, I'm not looking for long term, smoke, am married, and I'm not in your target area (nor are you in mine as I prefer to chat with people close by as we have more in common; local references, etc.) and so it's doubtfull that your word search would have found me in any case.
I do wish you luck and welcome you to South Forida.
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2009 7:57:36 AM | Any site where you dont pay is full of guys and yes the women get way more emails than guys. Guys basically are lazy and dont think spending the money is worth it.
Hence your ranting.
Try a site where you pay, E harmony is too expensive and exhausting to complete all the profile requirements. But their are others. Try Match - but for one month only.
"Chemistry" is a waste of time unless you want to meet women from Eastern Europe or anywhere but Canada.
You will also get more replies if you spend some time on your profile - women read them.
John S. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2009 8:06:04 AM | Personally, I think it is important to write back to everyone who sends a message. It is the right thing to do regardless of whether or not there is interest. What ever happened to common courtesy and respect for others?! If anyone reads your message and deletes it with no reply, be happy that they moved on because they are rude and most likely void of personality. :)
Good luck to you. The right one is out there. As they say, every pot has a lid.
Pam | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2009 9:58:46 AM | | I have a female friend who posted a prolfile with no pic. In the first 6 hours she had over 30 responses. This is like a candy store for women. I can't tell you how many I've started a dialoge with then poof. Gone | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/10/2009 12:50:46 PM | You are right Pam. I agree with you all the way. That is how I see it. I always reply to all messages that I find in my inbox, even if I dont think they are suitable. After all, someone has taken the time and trouble to get in touch and say hi.
If everyone had your attitude,then dating sites would really work, and do what they were invented for.
Paul | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/27/2009 9:05:28 AM | | You are right, but let's not generalize, I have had two fantastic relationships, 17 yrs & 10yrs, and both women married me, even though I was 1" shorter. The difference is that the relationship & love developed because of instant visual contact with a real person, not a distant being in Cyberspace. And remember size can matter equally to a man as a woman...be Happy. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/27/2009 9:26:47 AM | I haven't read this whole thread, nor do I dare-I have better things to do with my time. But, from what I gather, you seem to think your god's gift to women, dude! Women do not, I REPEAT, do not like that in a guy! Why do you think the really good looking women go for guys that look more like me? It isn't for looks-it's because guys like me treat them better than the pretty-boys. Get a hold of yourself, man!
I have a roommate that thinks just like you, but he said to me one day, women will talk to you moreso than me. Why? I don't have this almighty attitude. I'm more discreet; I don't oogle them as they approach me, and guess what? It works for me, 90% of the time. So much for good looks, eh? They aren't everything, and if you think they are, then you are delusional! Pull your head out of your *ss! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/27/2009 10:46:08 AM | | I dont' know what the problem is. I'm not really on here looking for a date...But I get emails from pretty girls several times a day. I very rarely send out emails. You just have to have a good profile and be patient I guess. Maybe its my lucky frog? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/27/2009 11:00:38 AM | Yes there are alot more men on these sites than women, but if you take the time to actually read their profiles. Most women dont want a rich man, a super intelligent man, a fancy car, or a "KEN " doll. They want a normal guy that can open his mouth without lying, Provide for and take care of a family, and most of all, I have noticed they want laughter. Im nothing special, I have an ok job, im definately not a model unless im modeling for fast food chains. But im genuine, have confidence in myself, lets face it. I didnt wake up this morning and say to myself, oh no im fat, that all started years ago. and I have a great sense of humor. When I e-mail a woman I may be interested in, I dont try to go into who I am or what i can do for them, I just try to be myself and add some humor, if they are interested they will email back
if they do not, then so be it, I see it as their loss not mine. I always wish them a good day, and wish them well in their search. All good things come in time, if its too good to be true, it probably is.
Forgive my spelling, I slept that day in class i guess  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/27/2009 11:29:30 AM | Mr. Eborys : )
I can certainly sense the frustration and hostility in your posting. Good for being honest, but it sort of pushes people away. You sound a little bitter, which I am sure you are.
As a woman, I get some contacts, but women have different reasons for not responding. First of all, everything is out there compared to when meeting in person. For emample, if I met you in person, I may not know right away that you don't want to have kids, that you smoke, or are looking for an intimate encounter (just examples). So they don't reject right away. Also, I find online dating to be unfortuantely superficial. People nearly always look better in person I find, and you can read so much more off a person. Things like the way a person carries themselves, the way they move their eyes, how they laugh, etc. All things you can't tell online. People will disect every part of everything being said because they see it right there in writing. It just happens.
As for women getting so many more contacts than men...yes, harder when men outnumber the women, but I can't help it seems like there are fewer men who have higher standards. Sometimes it seems like they will contact just about anyone. That's no ego booster to me. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/27/2009 3:15:14 PM | | Well, I do hear you. It makes sense to me, too, what you're saying. Unfortunately though, it's not going to get us anywhere by just complaining lol I guess let's just stay persistent and optimistic. We can't just rely on online dating anyway' we have to get out in the world and be open to the possibilities. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/27/2009 4:12:00 PM | Of course in this post you're assuming that all attractive women are female dogs o.-
Yes, males usually have to make the first contact, but it's not like that's limited to online interactions--how long has it been the social moré that it's unusual for girls to ask guys out in a date? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/27/2009 6:19:56 PM | Cheer the F up, you obviously havent done sales
Standard rule for cold calling (and really thats all this is) Its a blank phone photo book of people you have never met.
100 calls
you will reach half of those (actually 47) the other 53 have privacy blocker/caller id/an anonymous redailer or are an old number that is dead
So 47 you will get 26 message machines, You can expect all of these to be deleted, ignored, recorded over, you are waisting your breath, but hey you gotta try, so maybe you get a 1 call back saying not interested
21 Left, you actually talked to a warm body
12 wont hear your pitch, (wont listen, wont let you finish, dont care about your product enought to use their time)
9 Left, six of those wont be your primary decision maker (ie you reached their kid, their sitter, their sister etc)
3 Left, Two will say that they dont have the time, money, interest in your product.
1 if you are lucky will book an appointment.
ready for the fun? Of 10 appointments that you have booked, 4 will no show you, 3 will turn you down or 'want to think about it' . 2 will say that your product is not for them. so really you get one shot, maybe 2 in athousand | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/27/2009 6:37:53 PM | Holy CRAP, what a threadnaught ! I don't think I've EVER seen a thread so HUUGE!
I don't have 2 days to read all 101 pages, so I'm sure I'll just regurgitate what 50 other people have said.
But...
You have to realize something.
LIFE IS UNFAIR!
You were born with a male sex organ. DEAL WITH IT! There isn't anything you can do about it.
I have actually brought this up with a practicing Psy.D lady friend of mine, and she seems to think it's more because women are being put out of their usual stomping grounds here.
In nature, women are programmed to check out their potential mates, and if they like what they see, to send off appropriate signals, whether it be a wink, suggestive conversation, etc. HOWEVER, society teaches us the OPPOSITE, that men are supposed to chase after women. It's all because of "social evolution" that things are the way they are. Men are physically stronger, and of course, naturally became the "law makers" of the clans. And as such were able to come up with rediculous ways of doing things.
BUT, now that everybody is more or less free, women are put into a very awkward spot. On the one side, society is telling them to wait for a man to signal his interest. Statistical probability states, chances are they won't like them. BUT, on the other side, their instincts are telling them to go after the men. However, because this is a digital medium, there is no winking, there is no body language. Just... reading profiles and comparing interests. SO, when a man starts saying "hey blue eyed baby you're beautiful, want to chat" or related, they get sort of put on the spot. Here's a guy they don't even know, hitting on them.
I think it also has a lot to do with the "baa factor." Sure, years ago when this site was created, replies would be received, dates would be made. What eventually started happening, is because men are programmed to constantly DEMAND sex, their instincts are screaming at them to find a mate no matter the method. Following what I'm saying? There's more men on here than women, simply because of the fact a large proportion of the men are simply looking to get some nookie. I don't care how "sweet" or "caring" you are, it still boils down, deep inside, to wanting to spread your seed. Women have similar urges, but they are nowhere near as strong as mens.
Alright, I'm going to step out of place here, and recommend listening to a seminar or read a book written by David DeAngelo. For years, essentially all he did was travel and observe couples, as well as interviewed men that have been able to date literally HUNDREDS of women. The result? A highly comprehensive volume of information on how to properly acquire a first date, and make it lasting. By the way, if you're female and want to judge me on such a thing, associating it with psychological rape, all I have to say is look at all the books on feminism. All the books that teach you how to seduce a man. Not to mention, have you seen a cover page of cosmopolitan NOT include something like "How to please your man in bed?" Men have no such volumes of information, and instead have to rely on "Duude, I totally used this pickup line and it worked!!"
So that's my take on it. In brief..
1. Women are put out of their natural habitat here.
2. Social pressures tell women to wait for a man to come to them., while..
3. Genetic pressures tell women to SEEK a man.
4. Men want sex A LOT more than women, therefore, more men have signed up on this site.
5. Talks among men about "love" is generally taboo, and can reduce a bodybuilder to a patsy in one paragraph.
6. Men have no information and have to rely on each other. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/27/2009 8:39:32 PM | | i have noticed that all these girls headlines have "are there any good ones left" or something like that. from chating with some ladies on here they claim that there are alot of weirdos on here i think that screws up opportunity for guys like me. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:45:26 AM | I think one of the biggest problems we see here today is that a lot of people focus on just one person, and then get disappointed when it fails. Repeat the same process over and over, and eventually it comes off as being so futile that you expect every encounter to be the same.
That handsome doctor you've been talking to and could swear wasn't interested in just sex? Oh guess what, he just sent you an email asking you if you swallow.
Orr... you've been talking to a dude for a while and things are going good, then suddenly "he meets somebody."
Back me up ladies, is this true ? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2009 3:22:54 PM | | Honestly, I stand by my posting on this earlier, a few responses up. I get too picky having to judge everything based on what people type and their pics. In person, I might find them very attractive, but pics don't always do justice. Also, so many people put themselves out there so there is a lot to choose from. I am not a huge fan of internet dating, I prefer the idea of people connecting and feeling some sort of chemistry in person and that being what sparks a date. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:06:17 PM | Wow...quite a tense topic huh?
Wonder what's got everyone in such a huff?
Well, let's see. I've done lots and lots of browsing photos on this site.
Here is my analysis and is directed to the men who are saying they have wayyy less luck than women and that the women are superficial and shallow and not considering them properly:
1) bad photos--if you don't give a crap about how you present yourself to a potential love interest, why should I give two shits about your profile? if you look like crap, I do'nt want to hear from you
2) brush or comb your damn hair! This isn't the morning wood with Johnny radio show...it's a dating site, have some decorum
3) if your teeth look like something out of a horse's mouth, get them fixed! It is not attractive to see a man smiling all grinned up with a whole bunch of teeth missing!
4) wear something nice looking for a change--yeah yeah I nkow you were out fishing with your buddies ( a lame photo to post on a dating site but whatever) but let us see you at your best...
5) no, seeing you all ragged up is NOT going to make us realize that we are seeing you at your worst so it must be all uphill from here--instead we're going to just click away from your profile and avoid your emails like the swine flu
6) stop freaking putting photos up of you with other women--what are you? a knob? it's a dating site and the power of suggestion is huge..make your photos count!
7) put your damn shirt on, you look like the male equivalent of a whore--holding your camera in front of your bathroom mirror while the flash completely eclipses your face isn't good photography, it's idiocy!
Ugh, I could go on and on, but honestly? A lot of you men could use a serious haircut and a new shirt. NO wonder you don't attract anyone. You look like something the cat dragged in? And we're supposed to be all hot for that?
Peh. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:14:39 PM | She (miss_contemplative ) has a point...I mean...think about it guys...if you're wearing what looks to be a bandana and making some kinda weird... lip.. pucker fishy face...who wants to see that!!
Glad there's still some of us though that don't flaunt ourselves like a topless whore...*shifty eyed*
Truth, I swear, it's not what it looks like-TruthinessInc | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/31/2009 1:44:37 AM | | i feel the same mate, woman do get the better choices.To be fair though there are plenty of married men on here doing us single guys a big disservice.Believe it or not the only woman who i have regular contact with went to my primary school,same catholic church, was in my brothers class,i dated her friend when i was 10. She knows a bit about me and trusts me without meeting me. good luck but feel to find someone you sometimes only have to look outside your back door,very strange indeed. | |
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