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 Author Thread: Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
 GoddessSupreme

Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 2526
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/31/2009 2:08:47 AM
Very good point. I don't think a lot of people take this site seriously if they are making silly faces or not taking the time and effort to look nice in their pictures or dress like slobs. Then they wonder why no one wants to contact them.
 krull888

Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 2527
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/31/2009 2:55:06 AM
It's a double-edged sword though. If you don't take this site seriously, you won't get any dates (I know this from experience). However, if you take this site very seriously, then you should be able to get a date or two. It's just gonna take an obscene amount of effort.

That's ultimately the allure of online dating, at least for men. It's like the ultimate conquest. I've had dates that resulted from real life, but they just don't have that "overcoming the impossible" feeling. Online dating for men is ****ing horrible.
 Frederic Euxpery

Joined: 5/26/2009
Msg: 2528
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/31/2009 3:25:57 AM
You know when someone says


"That club is full of fit women, I went in there last week and I pulled this really hot bird"


Then the rumour spreads that if you go in there it's a guaranteed pull



online dating constantly publicise themselves as almost guaranteeing a date (not this one, but pay sites do, as part of their advertising)




but like going into a club full of fit women, it may have got so and so a hot night back at their place, but may or may not get you one.




All you can say is: "I've tried". You can't always succeed. Try a different club. Try a different website. There will be surprising new experiences waiting when you least expect it. Perhaps a friend of a friend really fancies you and you don't know it yet. Perhaps your hot colleauge thinks you are hot but you think he/she is above your league. Ask. If you don't ask you don't get. There is always a way to ask without losing face. x

But just because you make an effort with your appearance and photos, offline or online, never, ever take it too seriously, or you may start looking like the person in the party who tries really hard to be liked by all, and goes home alone.


F
 krull888

Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 2529
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/31/2009 3:46:18 AM
"But just because you make an effort with your appearance and photos, offline or online, never, ever take it too seriously"

I'm having trouble trying to follow this. Does not taking this site seriously actually work? If it doesn't (what it seems like to me) then whats the point of even bothering with it in the first place?
 GoddessSupreme

Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 2530
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/31/2009 3:53:41 AM
It is also the attitude which you come in with on this site. If you are positive and your profile reflects this positivity, then you will have a better chance. If your profile is oozing with anger and bitterness and sarcasm and hostility, no one will want to talk to you, no matter how hot your pictures look. I saw too many profiles with great pictures and then after reading the ABOUT ME section, I just went NEXT. You can tell that person had a lot of baggage and anger from a previous relationship and was basically warning off all women from ever contacting him, whether he realized it or not. He had a hot picture but his personality made him look so ugly, I was disgusted and utterly turned off, as were all other women. Maybe women have done this as well on dating sites but I am going by what I have seen and am interested in, the male profiles. Plus, this also happens when you meet someone in person. They may seem hot to look at physically but their arrogance or mannerisms make them look so ugly, you just turn away in disgust.
 propman58

Joined: 1/16/2008
Msg: 2531
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/2/2009 3:51:37 AM
Not entirely true. If you use a little tongue in cheek, as I did. The responses are incredible. I have even gone on dates with those that were initially turned off and angry. After a little repartee they relaxed a bit and realised I was only making fun of the stamped out, cookie cutter profiles on here. Nobody wants rejection. I don't! But when you have a plethora of beautiful intelligent women it just becomes a numbers game. Men are only at a disadvantage in that we have to initiate contact and make it happen. So to all the overly picky women on here who are waiting years for Brad Pitt to show up, maybe you should lighten up and give Joe Schmoe a chance. Truthfully, you're a dime a dozen.
 Twooit

Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 2532
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/2/2009 9:17:09 AM
The biggest thing with internet dating is Women HAVE the upper hand. My friend uses this website and receives around 5-10 new messages a day from people she's never spoken with before where as I'll receive 1, MAYBE 2. Men greatly outnumber women on websites like these and the selection for men is rapidly deteriorating.

When I'm bored at work I'll surf around here and click the "not viewed yet" section just to look around and occasionally message. After 5 days... there really isn't anyone left viewing aside from people who are 30+ days without a sign in. And those I do message become "read/deleted". It's frustrating.

I've also noticed women in the age group of 30-45 SIGNIFICANTLY outnumber women 20-29. Like 10-1. Maybe more.
 trailgirl

Joined: 7/1/2008
Msg: 2533
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/2/2009 9:26:25 AM

I've also noticed women in the age group of 30-45 SIGNIFICANTLY outnumber women 20-29. Like 10-1. Maybe more.


Do you think that's because the majority of men 30-45 are choosing to only date the women 20-29? Heck, in my neck of the woods, a large portion of men in their 40s are just now thinking about settling down and starting families.
 Cyryl_Whynr

Joined: 5/9/2009
Msg: 2534
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/2/2009 9:42:12 AM
I agree totally w/ propman. Some tongue in cheek humor is great. It shows you're creative, funny, interesting, whip-smart, and have a mind of your own all at the same time. I assume most men's profiles are like the women's, i.e. incredibly boring. Difference is that odds are not in our favor. Spice it up so you stand out and the PMs will come. Be yourself, act lively, and have fun. It works.
 007Clone

Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 2535
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/2/2009 12:25:09 PM
Most women dont want a rich man, a super intelligent man, a fancy car, or a "KEN " doll.

Good luck believing that. What women say and what they really want are two different things. Just look at all the "nice guys" threads. They would not exist if your thesis held water.
 Godluvsatryer

Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 2536
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/3/2009 3:59:55 PM
I totally agree that's it's a humbling experience when you get read/deleted all the time. Joined this site a few weeks ago thinking I was gods gift to women and can't even get a reply most of the time, not good for my enormous ego but hey who cares if a girl who's picture you like doesn't reply just move onto the next one. as the saying goes... plenty more fish in the sea
 beth03054

Joined: 1/5/2009
Msg: 2537
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/3/2009 8:09:05 PM
Believe it or not women do get the same thing happen to them. I have been on this site for quite a while. I write to men, sometimes something funny, sometimes just a Hi. I get maybe one response out of 10. Look at my picture am I ugly? I am an educated professional with good hair, good teeth, good kids, drama free life and my head does not spin when I am upset and you know what I get from 90%of the guys that write to me? What are you like in bed? What do you look like? How big are your boobs? who talks like that? that is what is wrong with internet dating, everything is based on looks not personality. Rambling...sorry I just wanted you to get the feel that it really is not one sided us women have problems too. I always say that men control the pace of the relationship and women control the sex. True?
 Online-Love

Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 2538
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/3/2009 8:48:07 PM
online dating is a waste of time. Nobody is serious.
 Whodibrown

Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 2539
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/5/2009 11:17:38 AM
I would have to agree with the guy posting this. This topic has been going on for years lol. I would say a person on here is as faithful as their options, which I guess makes sense.... I had it going on with tons of people to talk to, and then one day they just stop responding. I am not a stalker but I use common sense and see when they logged in last and that answers my question, Something better came along (at least in there head). Women for sure have the edge more then men on these sites simply due to the sex ratio on here. They have the edge offline as well. It is what it is. Look at how many times women get put on a favorite list vs. Men on this site lol easy as that.
 DeityZero

Joined: 6/3/2009
Msg: 2540
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/10/2009 4:32:40 PM
I have to agree 100% on Eborys's original post. I've sent about 10 emails so far to different girls in the area(the catchy subject, the non pressure email, etc) and I haven't gotten even one response. I feel like every decent looking girl(in my opinion) has their standards radar set WAY too high. It's sad when you can almost outright tell them you match their expectations in a guy and they just give you the cold shoulder like it's not even a big deal. I started to do this online dating just to see what kind of response I would get and so far, I can honestly say I'm not missing anything.
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:42:23 PM
I would agree with you when it comes to "pay" dating sites. I know because I have worked as an adviser for 8 major sites. Something about the $$$ adds a weird "you owe me" vibe to it. It also creates a meat market effect. But even though I get to use those sites for free....notice that I am here.

I think this site has a better vibe and has equality for men & woman. It always allows you to better represent yourself...especially with forums like this.

So hang in there!
 bossk1

Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 2542
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/10/2009 10:39:20 PM
op you are a 100% correct,no question about it...a lot of these women,not all but alot,are nothings in real life, so they hid behind the computer and try to be a sexy bombshell,but in person its a whole differant story,i've met enough to know, they never live up to their pictures...never.....

internet dating is a make belive world, in person,they are not that hot at all....any bimbo,with cleaveage and make up can look hot in a pic, being photogenic,does not mean your hot in person....not saying,i'm the greatest or anything like that,far from it....but come on...i'm 6'3, 248 pounds,in shape,and i don't have at least 10 hot chicks in my favs list?....f-that

work keeps me busy right now but when it slows down abit,i will get out to the bars and clubs,always been a gold mine for me ,thats how u met attractive women,not on some weak ass dating site
 vgoddess10

Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 2543
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/13/2009 8:20:14 AM
DDay555,
Just wanted to add that I had a person say they were going to call. I changed my plans ran home and sat and waited for the phone call. Never called me...I went to bed. I thought about it and I e-mailed him back and said he basically scored 0 for not being being polite and he did not need to bother with another phone call to me. I even wished him well in his search He was so angry at me that he accused me of being dramatic, egotistical, and better than everyone else. I am certainly better than the person who is rude...
 abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 2544
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/13/2009 12:07:16 PM
Personally, I think internet dating is great for guys. To the best I can tell, it levels the field to an extent. All a guy has to do to get a date here, is to be able to write complete sentences in English and spell.
 cantUtell

Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 2545
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/15/2009 11:44:21 AM
your right...the attitude i see in your remarks makes you ugly as hell
 cantUtell

Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 2546
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/15/2009 11:45:36 AM
BEAUTIFULLY SAID!!...WOMEN...pay attention
 velveret

Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 2547
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/23/2009 6:20:53 AM
I'm not even that big of a fan of online dating, but I can break it down into something like this:

Number of first dates I've been on that resulted from real life: 0
Number of first dates I've been on that resulted from this site alone: about 5

If nothing else, at least online dating gets rid of (in most cases) that whole not knowing if someone is single barrier.
 velveret

Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 2548
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/23/2009 6:28:00 AM
"To the best I can tell, it levels the field to an extent. All a guy has to do to get a date here, is to be able to write complete sentences in English and spell."
I don't think that's true. I think not being able to spell would increase one's chance of success for the reason that they would be able to relate to more of the people on here. I think it's a miracle every time I come across a profile that isn't full of misspellings.
 jadegreen

Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 2549
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/27/2009 3:20:04 AM
I've heard this said, but yet have yet to see the "true and accurate" statistics on the man to woman ratio on this dating site or others. It would also be nice if the true statistics were availabe on women responding to men's emails then this point could be validated as well. I am a woman and I know how much email I respond to etc, but there is no way of knowing what the other ladies are doing out there or if it is true they receive 100 emails aday.

Believe it or not ladies can run into "stuck up" guys every once in a while too...I've written guys in the past that didn't respond or said barely anything, but I consider it their lack of social graces and I don't take it too personal.

It can be said in theather that a person has a "stage presence" and I think they same can be said for certain people....they just carry an "aura" and just simply attract more fishies. It may be they have a really attractive picture, or maybe they have really eye catching picture etc, or maybe they just have caring and really polite personality. Who knows, but I'd just stay focused on my own needs and be positive and you will attract more fishies your way if you try to stay positive.

Happy fishing
 LDF85

Joined: 6/20/2009
Msg: 2550
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:16:27 AM
Internet dating and offline dating suck for men, or at least when compared to how it is for women. That's just the way things are. When it comes to offline dating, the man is almost always the one who initiates the conversation, and by doing so he exposes his ego/feelings to pain and the embarrassment of being publicly rejected. I personally think that men would be less bitter if they saw more women walking up to guys and putting in as much effort as they were but such is not the case. That's why on my profile I have the George Bernard Shaw quote, "It is assumed that the woman must sit motionless until she is wooed - that is how the spider catches the fly". If I want to talk to a lifeless mannequin I'll go to the mall like Jonathan Switcher!

When it comes to online dating I have found that women still have it better but it's also a little better for men when compared to offline dating. This is because women don't have to put up a wall online, cyberspace already provides the wall for them. And since they don't have to put up a wall like they do offline and try conversing simultaneously they can focus more on conversing with men and not defensive multitasking. Also, internet dating allows them to initiate the conversation without risking the embarrassment of public rejection like men have to.

I haven't went on any PoF dates yet but it doesn't bother me so much because I don't expect much. "Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to behave irrationally in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion" -Scott Adams

Personally, reading these threads is what I find most delightful about the site, and if I happen to stumble upon someone, or they happen to stumble upon me, then that's fine too. I'm not going to be behave anymore irrationally than I do when I find out that my lottery ticket isn't a winner.
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