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 Author Thread: Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
 Justcool7

Joined: 1/13/2009
Msg: 2551
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/27/2009 2:37:35 PM
Ebony i so so agree couldn a put it better myself
 StartOver46

Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 2552
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:57:40 AM
I haven't read any of the posts here except the op and a few here on the last page (who has time to read all that crap). OP: "Poor me. It's all so unfair! I'm a whiney little **** and none of the women want to go out with meeeeeeeee." Really? I just don't understand why...

I have to say I've received replies to over 75% of my messages, and had alot of women contact me first. I'm not a male model by any stretch so what's different?

First I took the effort to make a real profile that says something about me. Women read the profile. They read it before they even read your message. So if you can't be bothered to write more than a couple of sentences you're wasting your time. My profile is direct without being arrogant. And make it positive. Wanna send the women running? Start whining in your profile.

Second, I read their profiles. That's right. I read their profiles. So when I contact them I always make some reference to something in their profile. And I always say something funny in my first message. Not some lame cut and paste joke, but a humorous reference of some kind. Make em smile and they WILL reply. Plus there have been many times when I clicked an attractive picture only to find a very unattractive profile. NEXT!

Third, I have pics that are real and recent and clearly show my face. Not that I think I'm something special, but put it out there. Make an effort to take a couple of decent face shots. They're gonna see you at some point unless your only objective is cyber. (And if it is you're a sick ****)

Fourth, I'm respectful. That's right, I don't make sexual references in my first message. Or second or third. We all like sex. Really. Every woman on here knows you like sex. And here's a revelation for you guys. THEY LIKE IT TOO. But leave it unspoken. If you act right they may actually WANT to go out with you.

Those who think women have an "advantage" don't understand how many disgusting perverts and outright liars and meaningless "hey sexy" emails they have to weed through. The stories I've heard will curl your hair (if you have any).

So stop feeling sorry for yourself, figure out what you're doing wrong, and start doing it right.
 DestinysKarma

Joined: 6/30/2009
Msg: 2553
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:18:51 AM
My first and only experience will be my last. Met a man smooth talker. Turned to be just the opposite. What a player. This man uses this site to prey on vulnerable woman just looking to get laid. I'm sure theres more out there. Men like that should be blocked from using this site. One bad apple was enough for me.
 johninsd

Joined: 3/2/2009
Msg: 2554
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:51:48 AM

All a guy has to do to get a date here, is to be able to write complete sentences in English and spell.


Au contraire! I am perfectly capable of spelling and writing complete, grammatically-correct sentences in English, yet I still have most of my emails read and summarily deleted (and a few deleted unread!).

So there!
 chanel1961

Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 2555
eborys that the true!
Posted: 7/4/2009 12:33:13 PM
You said that women are superficial? What about men? all they do before even read your profile they look at your pics, and majority of you guy you're looking to get laid right ? so please when you say that women are superficial what about Men?
 kimcrn

Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 2556
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:21:25 PM
I beg to differ... I have sent about 15-20 messages to guys just a simple Hi or Hello and this week it's been have a Happy Fourth of July without one single man even being honorable enough to reply. Oh they look at the profile and that is where it ends. When I am blessed enough with a man who seeks me out and says Hi, he turns out to be someone less than honorable, he wants to meet just for sex, is that what dating really is? Just sex? What ever happened to dinner and a movie like their profile says? At least this site is free, it really sucks when you join a site thinking the guys are different and you send 20-30 messages and not one man has the decency to respond
 carletoncountyguy22

Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 2557
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:47:43 PM
i think its great jsut great... it is alot harder to meet girls in smaller cities if you got a population of 100000 people your good to go ... but less than that it can be difficult.. i found that actually doing what your suppose to be doing on here is very rewarding... i dont know where i get my dating tips from but it is easy. there are some rules ive set and they do work . dont lie not even a little ... if you got a story stick with it ... some females will play teams and see who is lieing.. they say no i doesnt exist.. but they want to get the best guy just as much as we want to get the best girl... there are some freaks on here for women trust me ive met a good portion of the women on here. there are alot of people... i enjoyed it more out west though. so number one dont lie ... if your gonna put you dont smoke then make sure you right that you have a cigerette once in a while in you text box. the fewer questions they have to ask you the better.. i my slef try to be dominiate in all conversations.. and then when they ask you a question actually thank them for asking a question .. so then you still are dominiate. being dominiate gives you the power to speak of what you want... if you go to sexual to fast you wont get anywhere.. ask them questions.. the more you can ask them the better donit forget the " lol" that alot of the time eases the conversation ... like omg he 's asked me 50 questions is he ever going to stop... but the more questions you ask the more she knows your interested.. without actually saying " i'm interested" .
 AbelM

Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 2558
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:38:53 PM
Absolutely. I agree. I just joined this site, because it's different from all the other sites. But the same concept still applies. I once interviewed a lady who runs one of these dating services, and she let me know that these dating services normally have twice as many men in them than they have women. It gets even worse in the sites that hire pretty models to advertise for their sites, in some cases pretending like they're members of the site. Sites hire these models because that's the easiest way to increase membership, and you know these types of sites are bound to get oodles and oodles of more men joining, I guess they think they'll get those models. It gets very frustrating being a man. I think dating in general sucks for men, it doesn't for women.

Let's face it, this is the way nature is designed for whatever reason, the way the world is, not just for humans, but also for animals, males have to make the advances, women don't. I really think that us men have an uphill struggle, we need them a lot more than they need us. Life's not fair.
 PeruvianBlue

Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 2559
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/5/2009 5:56:42 AM


Au contraire! I am perfectly capable of spelling and writing complete, grammatically-correct sentences in English, yet I still have most of my emails read and summarily deleted (and a few deleted unread!).


I actually completely disagree with the original poster; however, I am reacting to something else. Johninsd said he had some of his emails deleted unread. This is something I saw mentioned in my discussions. How DO YOU KNOW that your email was deleted unread? Because you didn't get a reply? That doesn't mean she hadn't read before she deleted it.
 prurire

Joined: 5/3/2008
Msg: 2560
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/5/2009 7:14:47 AM

How DO YOU KNOW that your email was deleted unread?


By looking in your sent messages. It will very clearly say 'UNREAD', 'READ', 'READ/DELETED', 'UNREAD/DELETED' by any message you have sent to another member depend on it's status in their mailbox.
 7iron

Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 2561
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/5/2009 7:14:53 AM
Peruvianblue: When you sign in on this site the second line from the top has "sent msg" and if you have sent a message it will say "deleted unread" when this occurs.

Edit: sorry prurire your post beat mine by 6 seconds.
 Mostwanted2009

Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 2562
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/5/2009 10:32:49 AM
I used to get loads of girls fancying me, so getting a girlfriend in the past has been ok. But now I'll be lucky to get even one who aint stuck up!
 MisDeed

Joined: 12/22/2007
Msg: 2563
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/5/2009 10:48:53 AM
That's easy for you to say, since you're not woman. Women have to worry about the predators. Those men (and there are many) who present themselves in one way, such as 'Seeking Longterm', when what they're really seeking is the shortest route to getting into your pants, then moving on to their next 'internet dating experience'.
 velverett

Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 2564
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/16/2009 9:00:59 AM
Since this thread is already starting to die again, thought I would revive it.

Btw, this is the new millennium, how can women still complain about getting used for sex?
 Ffrin

Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 2565
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:57:58 AM
I got a theory about women rejecting men , I think online they are gratifying their ego,s every rejection is a little more affirmation of their own deluded self-worth.
free no obligation: you are so right. I just need to reject another 100 or so men and I am sure I will have a proper sense of self-worth.
 /vASYA

Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 2566
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/26/2009 1:12:48 PM
[Quote] " Think of how easy it is for a good looking woman on a dating site- all she has to do is post a few sexy pics and write practically nothing in her profile and wait for the 100's of daily e-mails to come pouring in and be as picky choosy to the highest degree as she likes.

Therein lies a problem in itself: Why would a good looking woman even bother to join a dating website to begin with? Do they have some disease, hygene problem, meds dependancy, alcoholism, or mental illness that makes them unattractive to people in the real world?
 Mybelle123

Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 2567
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/26/2009 2:06:18 PM
Yes I agree with message 13, I dont get loads of emails probably cos Im older and Im not what men want, I have sent out emails and not even had a response back.
Then one guy wanted me to go on MSN, and cos I wouldnt he was very rude to me whats that about?....
 OPeoples

Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 2568
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/27/2009 10:01:36 AM
I have had the best success with paid sites. As others have written, with the pay site you have a vested interest. People who pay are serious about meeting someone. It helps marginalize the casual user. Even with the annoyance of contacting non-paying members I have received responses and gone on dates. And I still had to go through a lot of "let's email for a while". Not so with POF. I have never met anyone. I haven't even received a reply here to be able to "email for a while"; just read..deleted. Anyone can be on POF which is great for the forums, but when it comes down to the dating pool, I find that the indiscriminate format leads to greater ambivalence, which leads to the opposite of love...indifference.
 coveredinpaint

Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 2569
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/27/2009 10:13:05 AM
I don't think being on a dating site necessarily implies something is wrong with you. Though for many that is true to some extent.

But I think that like in real life, dating sites are mainly a bunch of guys going after girls, rather than the other way around. So women can afford to be choosey, and simply pick from only the cream of the crop. And if they can't get that, they'll just continue to be alone. They really don't care. It doesn't bother them. So you have a lot of girls looking for just a handful of guys who meet a certain criteria (mainly, have money and good looks). Whereas the guys would be willing to engage with a variety of women who are not just super hot with no kids.

I feel bad sometimes when I put myself out there and message women who I know fall into this category. Because I know it just fuels and perpetuates this phenomenon. But then again, if you don't try at all, then you'll be guaranteed to find no one. Because let's face it guys, you aren't going to open your inbox to find some hot chick there wanting to go out with you.
 LDF85

Joined: 6/20/2009
Msg: 2570
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/1/2009 2:21:53 PM

Absolutely. I agree. I just joined this site, because it's different from all the other sites. But the same concept still applies. I once interviewed a lady who runs one of these dating services, and she let me know that these dating services normally have twice as many men in them than they have women. It gets even worse in the sites that hire pretty models to advertise for their sites, in some cases pretending like they're members of the site. Sites hire these models because that's the easiest way to increase membership, and you know these types of sites are bound to get oodles and oodles of more men joining, I guess they think they'll get those models. It gets very frustrating being a man. I think dating in general sucks for men, it doesn't for women.

Let's face it, this is the way nature is designed for whatever reason, the way the world is, not just for humans, but also for animals, males have to make the advances, women don't. I really think that us men have an uphill struggle, we need them a lot more than they need us. Life's not fair.


Well said, well said AbdulM. Samuel Johnson said that nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little (this was in his time of course). But now that they're pretty much on equal footing with men, the scales have been undeniably tipped in their favor in terms of male-female interaction.
 slimholly

Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 2571
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/1/2009 5:14:04 PM
WTF? I thought Forum topics were "closed" or "retired" after 20 replies or whatever... this topic has 103 pages ?!?!?!? Did the Forum Moderator fall asleep at the switch?
 KINGFUGLY

Joined: 7/6/2009
Msg: 2572
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/1/2009 5:41:28 PM
EBORYS, Don't be Hard on Yourself, You are CORRECT!
You may be Good Looking, Smart, got Cash, but your Not Internet Street Smart...
yah gotta respond to all the uglies, then you can meet their Hoty sister's.
Feget the Hoty chix on here ...cuz this is Only a Big Ego Kick for them!
They usually have Head issues anyways, thats why they are on here looking...& Not in Everyday Life, Think about it?
No Loss, Trust Me...
~k/f
 airhead25

Joined: 5/7/2009
Msg: 2573
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/1/2009 6:04:51 PM

Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.


True because the ugly loser creeps ruined it for everyone. but real life doesn't suck at all.
chances of getting a date are much far far greater in real life outside the house by a mud slide!

odds are:
online 1:100
real life outside the house 98:100

That's what you're working with.

:)


Out of 10-15 e-mails I've sent so far, I've yet to receive a reply


Not only that but there are other factors. the biggest one is waiting your turn. they all get a lot of e-mails from other guys too so you have no choice but to cross your fingers and take a number and wait for your turn or hope for the best. LOL!

Advertisers target men because there's more creeps online willing to spend more money for memberships and/or premiums than normal guys.
their ads may say millions of single women when the fact is actually millions of single men and only handful of single women. lol

yeah it sucks. but at least they have forums here to keep us occupied and entertained away from the bullshit
 MusicPro

Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 2574
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/1/2009 7:41:46 PM
I can relate. I've been registered to this site on an off for a few years, don't look like freak-show from Harold and kumar go to white castle, and accually have quite a bit of personal information on my profile. Only twice has a woman initiated conversation with me here and both had known me from elsewhere. I've seen the pretty girl profiles that has 3 sentences, horrible grammer and is on like 150 favorites list. Honestly I blame men (usually not the nice one though)I have had 3 dates off this site (2 of which I saw more than once) I really don't send out too many messages though so I figure i'm to blame. I would say that 98% of my messages get read and deleted without a response. That's just the way net dating goes. I'm friends with a woman who is definatly not a 10 or even a 6 that I introduced to this site.Her dance card was instantly full overnight without having to send out a single email. (some of the freaks she met though! Dude you wouldn't believe some of these guys!) anyhow, I guess my point is that you're right. It's tougher for guys.
I still do it though. I just don't really put a lot of effort in to my first messages anymore.
 destinyplease

Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 2575
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/3/2009 1:07:37 PM
Look if you think women aren't rejected you are crazy! Two men said no to me last week because they said I wouldn't look good in a bikini. I had a 5'6", 300 lb. man say I was too heavy for him....I am not super thin but, not fat either. I wear a size 10 or 12 and the average North American woman is a 14 or 16. Men are shallow and cruel.
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