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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/14/2007 8:49:27 AM |
As with most guys here, the vast majority of my messages went "read - deleted".
So have most of the e-mails I've sent.
I can be resilient and not take it personally. Yet after about 20-30 times, I became disheartened.
Then you can't not take it personally.
This online dating stuff makes the pool bigger. That fact might.. MIGHT... improve your odds, btu then again, it may not.
Such a belief isn't about taking chances - it's about reality.
Ever heard that expression,"nothing ventured, nothing gained"? Well it's true, really. You can't expect better odds if you wait for things to come to you. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/14/2007 12:18:40 PM | | The OP is absolutely right. The ratio here is at least between 5-10 guys per girl. Put yourself in the position of having even a 5 to 1 ratio. You would certainly change your approach, and you could afford to be discriminating. I can relate completely to getting looks, being approached and having a lot of success approaching women in person while having little to no success approaching the same type of women here on pof. There's not much to be done about the level of difficulty but it's certainly not the end of the world. Even if getting responses is tough, at least the forums are entertaining lol. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/14/2007 12:42:37 PM |
I dont think I look bad for my age and im often told so Im not a dog or a bimbo just a careing female who happens to be a little older than most on this site from what I can see. I have a profile that tells a little about me so as to give some small insite. I rearely get mail other than offers of which I will not mention. Guys think beacuse of my years im old and past it and desperate and I can tell you im not
Hey RM,
Your problem is not how you look... you are decent looking for your age. There are plenty of men in your age range on this site. The issue is, and it would be for me, that you are still married(separated).
I never contact a woman who lists her status as separated... nothing but problems. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/14/2007 12:42:42 PM |
<div class='quote'>
The OP is absolutely right. The ratio here is at least between 5-10 guys per girl. Put yourself in the position of having even a 5 to 1 ratio.
Wrong 613_guy. i have check in Ontario and the ratio of men to women is around 2 to 1.
There are about 1.06 men per women in the population.. It is just men are more likely to try online dating....
It depends a lot on age and location.
You are 25 and so women in your age range can be more picky. because they have more men interested in them .... in real life
for the 20-29 age range the men to woman ratio is the highest BUT when you look at the 50 and over then ratio is pretty close to 1 to 1 . As you increase the age the ratio of men to women gets closed to 1 to 1.
about 30 percent of men of all ages select intimate encounters so the ratio of men not only interested in sex is smaller then the ratio of men to women profiles on POF.
You would certainly change your approach, and you could afford to be discriminating. I can relate completely to getting looks, being approached and having a lot of success approaching women in person while having little to no success approaching the same type of women here on pof. There's not much to be done about the level of difficulty but it's certainly not the end of the world. Even if getting responses is tough, at least the forums are entertaining lol.
In real life they get to see the WHOLE package ... which is looks and personality so some of the same woman who would not be interested on POF would at least give you a shot in real life. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/14/2007 1:38:11 PM | I was referring to the ratios on this SITE, not in the general population. Was your 2 to 1 ratio for people from Ontario on pof? To be honest my 5-10 to 1 ratio was not researched, so I apologize if I was wrong. In fact women make up about 58% of the population over 65 in Canada. There are slightly more men than women (in terms of a percentage) under 65.
I'm not complaining about the fact that women don't get to see the whole package online. I honestly don't care either way whether I have success online or not, I was simply explaning the nature of this and other similar sites. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/14/2007 2:34:53 PM | I agree, I am new to this, & it has been a humbling experience , In my picture I do not even rate a 5 (avegade looking) I must be ugly.... people on here are mean I am not one to judge I can only give out a 10 or higher . For me I will give a couple of weeks if no luck back to the bar where at least if I say hello to someone they will say hello.
Just some food for thought I wonder if those guys who get high ratings are busy banging each girl that tells them there hot. then the guy does not call back again and the girls now think all guys are terrible. I hope I am wrong.
Scotty | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/14/2007 2:35:30 PM |
I was referring to the ratios on this SITE, not in the general population. Was your 2 to 1 ratio for people from Ontario on pof? To be honest my 5-10 to 1 ratio was not researched, so I apologize if I was wrong. In fact women make up about 58% of the population over 65 in Canada. There are slightly more men than women (in terms of a percentage) under 65.
I'm not complaining about the fact that women don't get to see the whole package online. I honestly don't care either way whether I have success online or not, I was simply explaning the nature of this and other similar sites.
I did a quick search of wthin 25 miles of Ottawa
Men (20-25) .................. 1900 (2.71 men per women)
Women (20-25) ................. 665
Men (20-25) (subtract IE) 1325 (2.13 men per women ... excluding IE)
Women (20-25) (subtract IE) ............. 613
Men (20-25) looking for IE ... 575 (11 men per women looking for IE)
Women (20-25) looking for IE ... 52
This explains why women get a lot of mail from men looking for one-nighter, FWB ... etc | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/14/2007 7:32:33 PM | | 15 emails,, is that all?ok,, first off sure we are trying to get the attention of a few select ladies that are attractive, at least to us, but look at the bottom of their profiles and see how many favorites lists they are on,, i have sent out quite a few more than 15 and am just now hearing back from some i wrote in the beginning, so i doubt i ever will, some write and find they have made a mistake by not reading your profile,, like wow, you wright back and say what wow, she calls you an idiot because you smoke, and she doesnt, says she hates all smokers and abusers, yet she is the one who initiated,, yes there are a few strange ones out there, but take heart,, they have lives to lead as well, iwould imagine they will start sending messages back when they get the chance if they have any class at all, if not,, there are tens of thousands on p.o.f. there will be messages,, like the saying goes, if you build it they will come. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/15/2007 1:23:40 AM | good work niceguy! i guess even if my figures were overly high, the playing field still seems to be skewed in the favour of women.
my only advice to everyone is to keep trying and to make sure your messages are original, of a decent length and that you tailor it to the person you're writing to. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/15/2007 4:53:46 AM | Alright.After 11 pages,do I ever have something I want to say. I process everything in a profile not just the pictures.The men whose profiles have impressed me all know about it because I let them know about it.The profiles that stand out are real and a message comes across.
And what difference does it make how many favourites lists we are on!!!! I know when I find my absolute favourite I will put my fishing gear away.I received good advice from a couple of friends of mine. "Apply yourself." I realize that it is hard not to become cynical in the dating world. I have gone from hearing( I'll call you) ,and they never do ...........to (call me),and they just don't answer the phone.
So, in the end, although my heart goes out to you guys and I sympathize ,if you are going to be on here "Be real and apply yourself." Hopefully we can walk through this swamp with our self esteem in tact and maybe walk away with someone to share our life with.Good luck to everyone. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/15/2007 5:38:59 AM | | I do not see why who has put you on their favorties list would bother anyone who might be interested in you . I have probly only spoken to 3 people on there. I have messaged a few asking why they put me on their favorites but i never go a response back. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/15/2007 5:44:46 AM | And what if you don't know who you are writing to yet?
But aside form that, about favorites.... does anyone else treat it like a friend's list? These are the people who seem to be the best to talk to?
That's how I look at it anyway.... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/15/2007 5:51:30 AM | According to this article "On the Net, Love Really Is Blind"
http://www.rpi.edu/web/News/NYTLove.html
Statistics from one online dating site are hardly encouraging to would-be online suitors. (A paid dating site) said it had enrolled five million members in its six-year history, with 1,100 confirmed marriages (and 45 babies) resulting. That figures out to about one in 2,270 members who have met and married through the site, or 0.045 percent.
That's less than 1%, so don't get your hopes up! Now overseas dating can be an entirely different story. I know a man here in Texas who married a woman from Indonesia using a traditional "mail-order bride" company which specialized in Asian women. He did all that before the Internet was accessible to the masses. And I've talked to a few men who had gone on "single gentlemen's romance tours" to Colombia and met their girlfriends and wives that way. On those tours the ratio is about 5-to-1 women to men, and those women ARE looking for a serious relationship.
And the moral of the story: If you can't find love where you live or on so-called local dating sites, then look for love elsewhere! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/15/2007 7:16:53 AM | | The problem with mail order brides is they do not really love you. They are just so darn grateful that you got them out of the hell hole they were living in that they will give you a good performance of love. Now what self respecting man wants a woman who is not really in love with him , just grateful???Eventually though like all humans they will get tired of pretending to love someone they do not really love at all. If a man wants to delude himself that what he is getting from these women is love then he is foolish .These are meek ,bidable ,weak willed women who were taught to obey their husbands . They will never really be your partners in life . They are more like your property ,and i think that is what appeals to so many men.They refuse to acknowledge that there are plenty of good women here who will love you for you and not because they are grateful to you. I think these men want trained dogs not a wife and partner in life. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/15/2007 9:46:03 AM | In the animal kingdom the ratios are about the same. The strongest cats get to mate, the flashiest birds get to mate ... and here, the Shiniest Fish get to mate.
Do you know what happens to those 2nd place animals. They normally parish....
So take a strong approach, use some flashy photos, write a shinny profile or you too shall parish. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/15/2007 9:55:46 AM | | Well I will agree that there are more men then women on here although I don't really know that for sure..it seems to be a common complaint among men. To say we don't need to ever search through profiles is not true. I know I do..and just because there is more men then women on here does not mean the men are good guys, most of the men seem to be looking for a piece and that is it..the guys on the forums seem pretty cool but live miles away from me. I have sent out some intial emails and got no response too, it happens to everyone.(unless you are a rich supermodel but then why would you be here on POF?) I'm starting to think most guys like to do the pursuing and if a woman initiates contact they label her as desperate or something like that. Then again maybe I'm just not their type..I don't let it bother me, it really doesn't effect my outlook on things. But at least I can say I tried to initiate contact and it never works for me, so now I just wait for guys to email me because that seems to be what most of them prefer. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/15/2007 11:58:12 AM | It's tough out there for sure!! I am 49 years young, LOL... and have been accused of lying about my age because I look young for my age!! Now, why would I lie about that?? Really guys? Also that I look 'high maintenance'! What does that mean?? I am a simple gal, short hair and hardly any makeup! It's not easy - what's the alternative? Bars, been there, done that!!! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/15/2007 12:41:54 PM | Dating, internet or otherwise, is a pretty difficult thing to do. I think the only
people who are really gaining from it are the people who run paid dating sites,
singles events, etc. It is in their best interest to make sure that nobody actually
gets involved with anyone else, because then they lose two clients when
they remove themselves from those sites, events, etc... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/15/2007 6:00:00 PM | and now you know why Im not here often or in the email for long! *grins* if anyone needs me, Ill be on Xfire tonight! (If we have any gamers reading this, they know what I mean)  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/15/2007 8:13:19 PM | | It seems to be true everywhere that there are more men in online dating than women, usually 2 to 1 sometimes more and yet there are slightly more women than men in reality, I think the problem from what I've been reading is possibly half the men online have wives or are in a relationship and unfaithful and just looking for sex and will say anything without fear of rejeciton so that any decent women who joins is immediately bombarded by solicitations for sex leaving her with a bad impression of the place if she even stays she is not going to be able to tell them apart, no wait the liars will look more appealing...this is probably why internet dating was good at first until bad people found ways to exploit corrupt and ruin it for the rest of us. | |
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