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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/15/2007 8:43:12 PM |
The problem with mail order brides is they do not really love you. They are just so darn grateful that you got them out of the hell hole they were living in that they will give you a good performance of love. Now what self respecting man wants a woman who is not really in love with him , just grateful???Eventually though like all humans they will get tired of pretending to love someone they do not really love at all. If a man wants to delude himself that what he is getting from these women is love then he is foolish .These are meek ,bidable ,weak willed women who were taught to obey their husbands . They will never really be your partners in life . They are more like your property ,and i think that is what appeals to so many men.They refuse to acknowledge that there are plenty of good women here who will love you for you and not because they are grateful to you. I think these men want trained dogs not a wife and partner in life.
Sure, some are that way, but again, those foreign girls are not going to answer every e-mail or letter and marry the first guy they meet. It's a bit like local dating in that regard but they seem more serious. In many other cultures the women want to be a good wife. Even with the progress of women's rights, men are still men and women are still women. And me personally, I don't want a piece of property (unless it's in Malibu!). And I don't think weak-willed fits the bill either. And trained dogs, even they can turn on you. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/16/2007 2:31:14 AM | | Do the men who go and get these mail order brides think that if this particular woman was living in his same country ,not in a violent and very poor country ,she would still pick the man she has picked.The truth none of these men want to face that if these women were not in a desperate situation ,and looking for anyway out, they would not even look twice at the men who go on these gentlemen's tours.Of course the foreign girl is not going to answer every email. She will hold out for the guy with the most money and assets who can take the best care of her .Delude yourself if you wish ,but if you ever happen to go get one of these mail order brides ,keep thinking "would she still want me if she was not from a desperately poor and violent country. I would not want to spend the rest of my life with someone who was only looking at me as a way to get out of their country. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/16/2007 3:03:40 AM | | I doubt that a woman from a 3rd world country or war torn country will stay married to her mail order guy just long enough to get her green card. Just for them to get out of their crappy country is good enough for most of them. Though Ive heard some horor stories from what happens to mail order brides. Like having a new car you use it abuise it and in 2 to 3 yrs trade it in on a better looking model! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/16/2007 3:22:00 AM | When will guys ever get it into their heads, "Women are only interested in money". They are biologically selfish. In multitudes of surveys women are asked what they want. 9 out 10 say the following or similar:
"To meet a nice, `kind', `generous', `caring' man who'll look after me and treat me well".
Of course all 10 answers are differing variations of this, but basically you get the gist. A woman will NEVER date a poor man. She doesn't want to give anything back unless you can afford it. `Caring' is just a substitute for being wined and dined........ And, fianlly, women love to have their ego lamented, only to boost it even more by telling you to politely sod off at the end before moving onto the next poor mug, who she'll gladly tell that you are bothering her, just to see if he's prepared to defend her. As a ex-doorman I've seen it many, many times, and had to eject guys who've been foolish enough to be sweet-talked into plying them with drinks before she sets off for the next poor sap. Naturally some guys get angry at this, and you know the rest........ | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/16/2007 3:36:44 AM | how nice of you to generalize ALL women . Do you know every woman in the world ?Do you know me ,my sisters,my mother?? No you do not ,so do not tar every woman with the same brush.Not one of my sisters married a rich man ,or even a well off man. When they first married most struggled very hard just to make ends meet.My father certainly was not rich when my mom married him and never became rich down the road either.You have an extremely negative attitude . Nothing i will say will make a difference with you anyways. You will still go around with that huge chip on your shoulder. So the hotties do not want you ,so what . Go find a regular ,average woman.Stop stamping you feet in a fit like a 2 year old having a temper tantrum.  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/16/2007 5:55:05 AM |
Do the men who go and get these mail order brides think that if this particular woman was living in his same country ,not in a violent and very poor country ,she would still pick the man she has picked.The truth none of these men want to face that if these women were not in a desperate situation ,and looking for anyway out, they would not even look twice at the men who go on these gentlemen's tours.Of course the foreign girl is not going to answer every email. She will hold out for the guy with the most money and assets who can take the best care of her .Delude yourself if you wish ,but if you ever happen to go get one of these mail order brides ,keep thinking "would she still want me if she was not from a desperately poor and violent country. I would not want to spend the rest of my life with someone who was only looking at me as a way to get out of their country.
I can answer that. In a word, yes. I've dated women from Mexico who live here. Latin women tend to value relationships more than Western women FOR THE MOST PART. I've dated a Brazilian girl who lives here. Contrary to what most of the women on here think, if a girl could find a guy in her own country who would not cheat or beat on her, or drink too much, then she'd be only too happy to stay in her country where she has friends and family and knows the language. I think it's safe to say that Latin women value marriage and family MORE THAN just getting a green card or an opportunity to live in Gringolandia. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/17/2007 2:35:05 AM | Typical response from a superficial, blind, thick skinned and heartless woman. As a matter of fact my mum raised 4 boys on her own and had to struggle for every single penny, even when she was married to my dad, who treated he very badly. She sacrificed so much for us, 4 ungrateful brats.
So, before you go running off at the mouth, think first that people on these sites mostly talk from `their own' personal experiences, and I'm merely reflecting from what most guys experience from their responses, and i happened to be more than in enough positions to make such judgements, not downright arrogant opinions like you. and at least i have the courage to put up my profile. You arrogantly seem to forget that people want positive feedback from such forums, hence posting their experiences, otherwise what's the point.
Use your head, if you have a brain, rather than mouthing off, simply because someone has hit a raw nerve with you personally. What's that they say about the truth hurts? You have a nerve to accuse anyone of having a chip on their shoulders, when you can't even respect other people. Shows how delusional you really are. | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 283 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/17/2007 3:02:36 AM | Vanillaman: Bitter much?
You speak about your "personal experience"...I'm confused. You use your own mother as an example. You say that she raised 4 boys on her own. You had an abusive father. Yet, you seem to hate women. How on earth does your example of your own mom validate your ridiculous opinion? Seems odd to use a woman who did it all on her own as an example of how money-hungry women are. You are very contradictory.
I know, you'll just bill me as another
...superficial, blind, thick skinned and heartless woman as it seems you've done when a woman actually disagrees with something a man says. Oh oh.
Use your head, if you have a brain, rather than mouthing off, simply because someone has hit a raw nerve with you personally I don't know who this is addressed to, but isn't that the EXACT same thing you've done with your anti-woman rant?
PS: It's usually men who have nothing to offer (financially or otherwise) who complain that women are only after money. Gotta justify the lack of dates somehow, right? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/17/2007 3:35:39 AM | | First of all i do not have a profile up because as you chose to ignore ,I AM NOT LOOKING TO DATE.I am here ONLY for the forums . Yes it usually hits a raw nerve when men come in mouthing off about women and how we are all the same. Come to think of it ,it also hit a raw nerve when women come into forums complaining that all men are the same. You do not know me at all ,so how can you call me superficial, blind ,thick skinned, and heartless?? I just like you are ,am talking from my own experience. You say all women are superficial and only want men with money . Well from my own experience i just gave you 4 examples of women who did not choose husbands based on money .You said to use my brain ?How am i not using it ? By not agreeing with you that all women are money grubbing b*tches! So you can make judgements about an entire gender ,even though you have not met all of them ,but i can not give you my opinions on the matter? Of course you hit a raw nerve , i am a women . I know myself ,and i know i am not like what you are saying all women are like .You do not want positive feedback at all . How can you when what you put out there is so negative . Anyways trying to make you see that all women are not the same would be like me banging my head against a wall ,pointless. | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 285 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/17/2007 3:45:21 AM | Maryrachelle: We've had our own issues recently, but I've got your back on this one. I sense a man who despises women, so he can't handle a woman who has an opinion. You just have to laugh.
From Vanillaman:
You arrogantly seem to forget that people want positive feedback from such forums I have to wonder if he knows what the meaning of the word "positive" really is?
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/17/2007 4:13:12 AM | I think that is totally untrue, it seems to me that most men on here are just trying to lure woman in , to think there some great guy , when they are only looking for one thing only, that has been my experience on this site. To many men playing headgames, Anyone can write a great profile, but i don't put to much faith in them . I find very few are really being honest .... Well maybe it works both ways . I took my picture of this site , You can't just judge a picture , its the person behind the picture that counts : | |
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zim73
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Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 287 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/17/2007 10:44:37 AM | vanilla man sounds bitter, but haven't we all been bitter about our experiences w/the opposite sex at one time or another? there's no way i have time to read thru 12 pages of forum, but here's a few thoughts on what i've read and my experiences w/online dating. it IS damn near useless for men, but not that much better for women (as i used to think.) HERE'S THE TRUTH:
men are hornier than women, so it follows that there will be more men on any given dating site than there will be women. LOTS of said men are only here to add bedpost notches, and they're married to boot. the ones who already have all those "notches" have them for a reason; THEY ARE GOOD AT FOOLING WOMEN. the women who get "tricked" into thinking they've found a winner become suspicious of men b/c well, they've been lied to and been hurt, when their BEST JUDGEMENT has told them they wouldn't get hurt 'this time'. so it goes that the pigs-in-men's-clothing RUIN it for the rest of us decent guys honestly seeking a connection.
THAT BEING SAID, you women have no excuse either. sorry, but you don't. you are NOT here looking for a boyfriend or whatever, you are here hoping a guy that has all the qualities on your 'grocery list' will contact you first. if this weren't the case, there would not be so many complaints from men about women NEVER making 'first contact', as well as the most prevalent complaint from men, that WOMEN DON'T WRITE BACK. fact is, women aren't trying to meet men, b/c they don't HAVE to try.
what most women really hate to acknowledge is this simple fact:
if it's up to the man to put himself on the line and risk rejection by asking a girl out, writing to her on p.o.f., whatever, it is the RESPONSIBILITY OF WOMEN to choose wisely whom they will and will not accept offers from. just don't think all men are like your previous bad decisions, and maybe the nice guy WONT finish last when you stop and examine who it is that is writing to you/asking you on a date. you're here to meet people right??? so start meeting them already! | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 288 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/17/2007 11:36:34 AM | Zim: Wow! You had me up until a point.
More generalizations. You DO know that not all women on here are out to hurt men, right? You DO know that some of us (hell, a large majority of us, I'm willing to bet) are actually treating this as something a little more serious, right?
You DO know that just because a man or woman writes to someone, that doesn't entitle them to ANYTHING, right? There is so much of an entitlement mentality in these threads.
you're here to meet people right??? so start meeting them already You are aware that NONE OF US can force someone to meet us, right?
You sounded very wise, until you came across as bitter, too. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/17/2007 11:37:37 AM | | (((WOMEN DON'T WRITE BACK))) In my experiences MEN DON'T WRITE BACK. I can't tell you how many times i have written messages to men only to have them not write back either . I am not going to b*tch and complain about it. The only reason i bring it up is because it is "NOT" gender specific . (((women aren't trying to meet men b/c they don't Have to try))) . Really ! In all the time i was looking ,i am not anymore , i have tried and tried to find someone half decent who would be a good match for me. So i guess it's not true that women don't have to try .Nice guys don't rage about how all women are mean ,nasty ,hateful ,money grubbing ,shallow ,b*tches. I am also very wary of the guys who claim to be the nice guys ,because most times they turn out to be not very nice at all. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/17/2007 1:05:51 PM | I have a female friend who has a profile on this site, she says it is easy to meet men but she has not found the right one yet, she has blonde hair and blue eyes and says she is looking for a muscular man to look after her. She says that after she meets a man she just keeps looking because he does not make enough money or is not tall enough etc. All of her friends say that she is too picky and she replies "I am blonde and there are way more men than women on Plentyoffish.com so I will keep searching until I find one that has looks and money and can afford to pay off my debts." I know she is shallow. I am not saying all women are like that but in general both men and women seem to be too picky these days. I would have to agree with most men as I do not get many responses to e-mails.
Cheers
John | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/17/2007 1:06:30 PM | One reason the male to female ratio is so bad is women get fed up of dating men who are really only looking for sex or short term.
I have chatted to loads of women who are on the brink of leaving POF because of this. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/17/2007 1:08:31 PM | | Hey Zim, I agree with you, always more than twice as many men in online dating, reason, half of them are liars and not single. Many profiles may be dormant for months also, and there may be problems with messaging. I don't agree online dating is good for women. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/17/2007 1:29:13 PM | OP, don't sweat it dude. It's not just you.
Many of us go through the very same thing.
I have many (at least what I would consider) "good" pics on my profile. I have even gotten feedback from other women where they've e-mailed and commented (in a positive manner) about my pics. I've even had several women e-mail me recently complimenting me on what they've read in my forum posts.
I'm a very intelligent, articulate, highly skilled and competant individual, and I too can send out many e-mails only to receive a low-percentage return ratio.
The few people I have met from here as friends (that's all I'm looking for) have enjoyed the experience of us meeting, and to this day I'm still friends with them.
We get together on occasion and go out for drinks, catch a movie, go for a meal, etc.
BUT, this all happened because they decided to give others a chance.
Many on here do not.
Many also fail to realize that a lot of people are not photogenic and their pics don't do them justice. I remember meeting others in person and they were suprised and told me that I looked much better in person than in my pics.
I find I generate more of an interest when out there in the "real world" as compared to on here. Then again I have also found much better luck on alternate sites.
Sites where the ratio of men and women are a little more equal.
There isn't much you can do. It will not change. It's a numbers game. Try to make as much contact as you can and eventually you will get replies.
It may take you sending out dozens of e-mails. It may take much more than that, but the greater attempts you make at contacting others the greater the probability of receiving replies.
It's either that or just meet others in a more "conventional" way like singles events, social events, clubs, bars, etc.
I also noticed that you say you have a photo but don't see one here in the forum, muchless a profile. Do you have an alternate profile that you use for e-maling and one just for the forum for some reason?
Also you may want to try attending POF events if there are any in your area (or have one of your own). I've been to several and have met some nice people at some of them.
Keep on keepin' on bro!
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/17/2007 1:51:49 PM |
I also noticed that you say you have a photo but don't see one here in the forum, muchless a profile. Do you have an alternate profile that you use for e-maling and one just for the forum for some reason?
The reason their is NO photo or profile for the OP is they have deleted their profile.
I guess they gave up on this site. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/17/2007 2:00:29 PM |
Even for a good looking, educated white guy like me, internet dating is a very humbling experience.... Out of 10-15 e-mails I've sent so far, I've yet to receive a reply
well that's pretty self-explanatory lol.
I'd say my looks are at best mediocre and I dated two fish this week. Internet dating isn't a humbling experience unless you're conceited to begin with. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/17/2007 2:32:45 PM | Vanillaman...I'm sorry that's been your experience, or the way you view what you've experienced. And I have to say that there is some small grain of truth to it...generally speaking. And before my fellow wimmen get angry.....
Men are often thrilled to date and marry someone who is many years younger than themselves, even young enough to be their own children, regardless of income. (Vanillaman himself would love a 20 year old....see profile) They have a natural tendency to want to be the caretaker. And in this world we live in today? Someone of Vanillaman's age isn't as likely to find someone who actually needs him to take care of her....at least not financially.
Women also tend to crave the protectiveness that a male offers. I know "I" do. But I don't need it financially. At the same time, I wouldn't consider dating someone who managed their money poorly, or who didn't/couldn't pay their own bills, or who lived beyond their means. How many of us truly would?
So that's the small grain of truth, IMO. I've also seen women on here post about wanting the man to make as much, and preferably more, than they do. Personally, I could care less about that. I just want financially responsible. But heh...who am I kidding? I wouldn't kick a rich one out of bed either.  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/17/2007 2:52:23 PM |
I have a female friend who has a profile on this site, she says it is easy to meet men but she has not found the right one yet, she has blonde hair and blue eyes and says she is looking for a muscular man to look after her. She says that after she meets a man she just keeps looking because he does not make enough money or is not tall enough etc. All of her friends say that she is too picky and she replies "I am blonde and there are way more men than women on Plentyoffish.com so I will keep searching until I find one that has looks and money and can afford to pay off my debts." I know she is shallow. I am not saying all women are like that but in general both men and women seem to be too picky these days. I would have to agree with most men as I do not get many responses to e-mails.
Cheers
John
She is wrong... In calgary the ratio is about 3 male profiles for each female profile but at least 1/2 of the men are look for sex only. Of course it is easy for he to meet men ... many of them are really contracting her ... for sex . and will disappear after getting some.
She may look great on the outside but is UGLY on the inside.. men do NOT like gold-diggers... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/17/2007 3:35:31 PM |
HERE'S THE TRUTH:
men are hornier than women
the women who get "tricked" into thinking they've found a winner become suspicious of men b/c well, they've been lied to and been hurt,
I beg to differ.
Women just play the game better than most men who believe the hogwash they're blasted with 24/7. The average woman (yes even the ugly ones) have probably slept with more partners than their male counterparts. Why?...
Because they can. And do.... So how do they keep getting away with it?
Because men want to believe the statement quoted above... thats the ONLY reason women can feel free to be b. itches in public and not worry about the consequences, cos there'll be another dumb azz guy along any minute.
How many women do you see kissin azz in forums compared to men?? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/17/2007 3:44:09 PM | Internet dating can suck for women, too just in a different way than it does for the guys.
Getting emails from men who you aren't remotely interested in or have anything in common with, what fun is that? There's no intrinsic thrill typing out a ton of polite responses saying we don't think we're compatible, etc.
A lot of men (didn't say ALL) don't read one word of the profile, and do the mass emailings that are so obvious. | |
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