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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 476 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:33:14 AM |
When it is stated as a generalization why do you take it personally? Because the last time I looked down my pants, I was a woman...
As for him conceding that there are women who do initiate contact..."rarity" is the word used...I don't believe it's THAT rare. I'm sure there are women who just sit back and wait for the emails to roll in, but I'd be willing to bet there are plenty who will initiate contact quite easily and do.
Edit:
VVV and your point...? I'm not sure what exactly that's trying to say...I said "I don't believe" because I'm me...sorry, I don't generally write in third person.
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 478 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:37:35 AM |
Once again it appears that modern feminism expects men to put an effort into understanding women and their issues but when men ask women to do the same they couldn't be bothered When we're talking about "I can't get a date", sorry, I don't place that in the same boat as rape, pedophilia, etc...maybe YOU do...we're talking about dating, not rocket science. Pssst: I'm not a feminist and I don't see where I've personally asked you to understand women's issues.
Let's ask this question...why are there a lot of women on here? I know I'll see the same old tired response from someone: "women are here just using men", but really, if sooooo many women have it so easy on here, why are they still on this site? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:42:04 AM |
if sooooo many women have it so easy on here, why are they still on this site? Well you will have to allow for a generalization. Because this is where the men are. With the ratio in many geographical areas so tilted in the womans favor she has a larger pool of candidates to chose from. | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 480 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:47:02 AM | | But the argument has been that women have it so easy...why don't all of the women who have been on here for longer than, say, 6 months take the "pick of the litter" and run? Oh, right, because we have SO much choice, we just can't make up our little ol' minds about it. We don't necessarily have it all THAT much easier, in the long run. The fact is, overall, there is a 1.4: 1 ratio...that's from a moderator. Sorry that the ratio in certain areas goes down, but seriously, what can you, I, POF or anyone else do about that? Not a darn thing, unless you are prepared to move. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 6:03:43 AM | ***...I don't believe it's THAT rare.***
Even when presented with empirical data from the world's #2 online dating?
Should I still believe it's "rare" that men abuse women in the face of all of the empirical data? Should I still believe that pedophilia is "rare" even in the face of empirical data?
Why are you working so hard to ignore the evidence presented? If it offends you personally so much to hear about women's negative behaviour how do you think if makes men feel to hear read about what rapists, serial killers, pedophiles and abusers we are? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 6:15:04 AM | ^^^
It isn't that rare on this site.
How many posts are on the forum from women complaining that men only want one thing? Many.
Do you consider them to be bitter, angry women with issues?
I do.
I am curious about the site that you worked for/did your research with. I can imagine you don't want to name it here, but would you tell me via e-mail, perhaps?
Not gonna speak for all women, but I don't have money to spend on a dating site. It's one reason why I came to this one (that and the fact that there are forums here).. no one has to pay to contact or be contacted. That's the way I like it. | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 483 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 6:20:58 AM | I haven't seen any "empirical data"...just what you've written.
Where is this "evidence" that's been presented? I must have missed it...
My main issue with this, is that it is not life-altering. Seriously...are you going to die because a woman didn't initiate contact? Really? I think a HUGE deal is being made out of something that is not that big of a deal. Do I get men contacting me all the time? No. Unless you count the perverts. Do I initiate contact? Yes. But guess what? I have only heard back from 2. Out of many. Do I start threads that cry about my poor luck? Or men being awful? No. Because my life goes on. And no one on here owes me anything.
If it offends you personally so much to hear about women's negative behaviour What offends me is that we are all lumped into the same group and there are a LOT of threads on here full of woman haters. Get over it, already! Like I said...it's not life-altering.
Nowhere have I argued that NO women ever do what we are ALL accused of, but these threads are tiring, as they imply or flat-out accuse ALL women of being the same way. Since you seem to want to keep bringing up rape and pedophilia...would I ever accuse ALL men of being rapists or pedophiles? Hell, no. Would most women? I doubt it. | |
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EC22
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Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 484 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 7:12:39 AM |
The fact is, overall, there is a 1.4: 1 ratio...that's from a moderator.
In many places, the ratio is 2 to 1 or even 3 to 1. If you apply certain restrictions such as being under 40 or having no kids, the ratio could be 4 to 1 or even 5 to 1 in some areas. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 9:17:57 AM |
I think alot of it has to do with the number of messages the girls end up getting. Such statements simply amaze me ...
LMAO ... to hear it from the men, they have this grandiose idea that the women just sit back and get emails out the waazoo ... and have all sorts of men to choose from. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Granted, there are certainly a few ladies that simply get showered with emails, but I would say that the majority of the ladies do not fall at all into that category. If anything, the more "down to earth" ladies, perhaps better known as the "plain Jane's" are mostly neglected by the men.
WHY?
Because the guys have additional grandiose ideas that only the prettiest and most shapely ladies have anything to offer. If the lady has a few extra pounds, or doesn't appear to have just stepped out of the "make-over salon" ... she is simply ignored. Too plain and too normal ... not "hot" enough for them and not in any way considered the "eye candy" they seek.
Well all I can say is ...
Good luck with those grandiose ideas and I wish you all even more luck in finding happiness with such "baby dolls".
*Those would be the ladies who will gladly sacrifice their beautiful bodies in order to bear you a precious child ... NOT!!!!
*Those would be the ladies who will gladly go to work full time to support the family should you become disabled and unable to fully provide for them ... NOT!!!!
*Those would be the ladies who will gladly pitch in with construction projects when you need a helping hand ... not concerned that they may break a nail or get some dirt on their hands ... NOT!!!!
The list goes on and on.
So just keep sending out those emails to those "beauties" ... keep waiting for those replies ... I'm sure that sooner or later, one will take the time to answer and if you're lucky you can finally arrange a date with her. But be sure to bring your wallet and it better be packed with plenty of cash and credit cards as well ... because that's what you'll need in order to keep your "Barbie" satisfied.
If the lady is somewhat older, she needs to be prepared to get emails telling her that a lady her age still on a dating site is "pathetic" and "hard up". Ask me, I know ... I've received my fair share of such emails.
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women. ... HARDLY!!!!
LMAO ... you guys sure do have a warped sense of what it's like to be a lady on a dating site.
You really have no clue.  | |
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dpd22
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Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 486 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 9:28:27 AM |
Because the guys have additional grandiose ideas that only the prettiest and most shapely ladies have anything to offer. If the lady has a few extra pounds, or doesn't appear to have just stepped out of the "make-over salon" ... she is simply ignored. Too plain and too normal ... not "hot" enough for them and not in any way considered the "eye candy" they seek.
Women do the same thing. I could mail several okay looking women and get no responses because they only go after the 10s even though they are only a 5 or 6. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 10:00:39 AM | I have to interject here, sorry! This thread, idea, notion, and impression is (to me), completely FALSE! I believe to be an attractive, sexy, passionate woman with many other very fine qualities about me, and let me say that YES, I initiate conversations (try to), have written in my profile, AND even SEARCH the site for decent, available men... and I did not say that I search men that are only a 9 or 10 on the scale of attractiveness either! With that being said, would you truly like to know how many e-mails from interested men, or men that responded (finally), I currently have in my inbox? Send me an e-mail, and I will tell you!
Point is: I am an attractive woman, with very good qualities about myself... I am a good person who is looking for "what is good." I am sincerely looking for a relationship with someone special... with whom I can share the enormous amount of love that I have inside... and share romantic, passionate moments with as well.... etc., etc. But, do you want to know something??? I CANNOT, FOR THE LIFE OF ME, FIND HIM!!!! Oh, do not get me wrong either... yes, I have had some very bunt offers to have sex... but that is all! And sex is great... no mistaking that, however I am looking for something deeper than that.
So, what i am saying is that you are completely FALSE in what was said here. I do not think it to be fair for you to decide to be angry at women, when you truly have not an idea of how extremely hard it is for A LOT OF US DECENT PEOPLE~! OK?
THANKS! | |
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dpd22
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Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 489 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 10:41:11 AM |
Too funny ... I have many, many lady friends here on POF and never once have I heard them speak of a man being a "number" of any kind.
I have heard them speak of concerns about such things as to whether a gentleman has:
*a drinking / drug problem (or not) ...
*a job (or not) ...
*a variety of STD's (or not) ...
*still lives in his parent's basement (or not) ...
But I can honestly say that I have never ... NEVER heard them speak of men as being a "number" on any scale.
Just too, too funny ...
I think that perhaps men think in terms of that ... but for the most part ... women do not. I'm not saying that women are not concerned about looks ... being physically attracted to your partner is indeed one aspect of the relationship, but putting "number" values on it ...
I find it funny that some women think most men only go by looks, but most women consider other factors. When it comes to being shallow and superficial, some women are just as bad as some men. That applies to both genders. According to some women here, if a woman doesn't get many emails, it's because the men here are shallow. If a man doesn't get many replies, it must be something wrong with him, not that women are shallow. Like I said before many decent looking men and even some good looking men with good profiles send out nice emails to average looking women and still don't get many responses. | |
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dpd22
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Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 491 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 11:06:47 AM | 5 or 6 = average looking man or woman. You don't need to be a rocket scienist to figure that out. Regardless of what you think there are some women ( like some men ) who wouldn't give an average looking person that has a great personality, common interests etc a chance because he/she isn't a super model. I personally know some women who are like this.
A man who would "classify" a woman in that manner ...
*is totally uninteresting to me.
*is capable of treating women in demeaning ways.
*will probably always just feel as if he is settling ... after all he gave up the "7 to 10's" and just settled for the "5 or 6" ... RIGHT?
False generalization. I would have no problem dating a 6 if she has a great personality, common interests etc. She doesn't need to be a beauty queen for me to date her.
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 11:08:19 AM | Don't bother trying to say that if there isn't a initial physical attraction that most of the women are going to reply or initiate.
Most of the women are just as shallow as the men that they accuse of being shallow for doing the same thing.
I have seen time and again women in threads say that they never initiate contact.
Now when you consider just how small of a percentage of POF actually posts then yes it is a problem.
A problem can not be remedied unless it is identified.
Unless a person is part of the solution then they are part of the problem.
Now you can say that the men whine about it all you want, but consider this ladies. The largest share of the threads on this forum is started by women and they also start the largest share of the whine threads. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 12:06:02 PM |
Like I said before many decent looking men and even some good looking men with good profiles send out nice emails to average looking women and still don't get many responses.
PREACH! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 12:26:17 PM | (((I would have no problem dating a 6))) Yeah so what . What makes you think you are better then a 5 or 6 yourself. Dating someone a 5 or 6 is no great sacrifice since you would be dating within your league.
I am not trying to be hateful or mean about that. It is only the truth after all .I would only give myself a 3 maybe 4 and i would only ever try to date within my league.What is it with men and their man mirrors. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 1:26:33 PM | You know people, a lot of the problems stem from one simple little thing.
When so many people first sign on here they have all of these high unrealistic expectations.
Then they read all of the posts telling people to never settle.
You never settle if your expectations are realistic. If they are unrealistic then the only thing you are is a problem for everyone.
So make sure that what you are after is realistic.
Let me put it this way. If the mate you are chasing on here wouldn't be interested in the meat world then you are unrealistic.
It doesn't matter if the gender ratio is in your favor or not.
If you can't offer the same as you are looking for you are being unrealistic.
If your living situation is such that you can't find someone locally you won't find them here either.
If your time is too taken up to actually have a relationship then you are wasting your time here.
Now that is called being realistic. | |
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dpd22
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Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 496 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 1:28:42 PM |
Yeah so what . What makes you think you are better then a 5 or 6 yourself. Dating someone a 5 or 6 is no great sacrifice since you would be dating within your league.
You are completely missing the point. The point is many women here think that most men only date 9s or 10s even if the man is only average looking at best. The fact that I and other decent ( not great ) looking men would date a 6 disproves that point. I never said dating a 6 was settling or a sacrifice. What I think of myself is or what you think about me is irrevelant to this discussion unless I had stated what I thought of myself which I didn't do.
Also the dating within your league theory doesn't always work either. Like I said earlier, many decent looking and some good looking men could email many average or below average looking women and still get turned down most of the time. You might think I'm a 6. Another woman might think I'm a 8, but still only goes after the 10s even though many men would consider her to be a 5 or a 6. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 1:42:59 PM |
Good luck with those grandiose ideas and I wish you all even more luck in finding happiness with such "baby dolls".
*Those would be the ladies who will gladly sacrifice their beautiful bodies in order to bear you a precious child ... NOT!!!!
*Those would be the ladies who will gladly go to work full time to support the family should you become disabled and unable to fully provide for them ... NOT!!!!
*Those would be the ladies who will gladly pitch in with construction projects when you need a helping hand ... not concerned that they may break a nail or get some dirt on their hands ... NOT!!!!
You're wrong.
I know someone named Jane (real first name, BTW), and although I haven't spoken to her in a while, she had two children with her husband and is quite married still, from what I gather. She's beautiful, physically speaking, and also a good person inside.
Why?
He got into a life-threatening accident that nearly killed him. He was temporarily paralyzed, and while he made full recovery, she wasn't sure he would make it. She stood beside him ALL of that time, even when she believed he wasn't going pull through. She's in her thirties, has a body of Penthouse model although she has two kids. She has a degree in chemistry, works full time, and as I mentioned is still supportive of her family. She cried and smiled as the same time when I asked about her husband and how he was doing when she showed up at my workplace at the time (she had quit for a job in relation to her degree) because I was the FIRST one there---even before the women---to demonstrate my concern.
(Some people on this site are amazing. In a bad way). | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 1:57:36 PM |
But the argument has been that women have it so easy...why don't all of the women who have been on here for longer than, say, 6 months take the "pick of the litter" and run? Oh, right, because we have SO much choice, we just can't make up our little ol' minds about it. We don't necessarily have it all THAT much easier, in the long run. The fact is, overall, there is a 1.4: 1 ratio...that's from a moderator. Sorry that the ratio in certain areas goes down, but seriously, what can you, I, POF or anyone else do about that? Not a darn thing, unless you are prepared to move.
Great point. I've been here nearly two years. TWO YEARS. Ekk. One time just stictly "looking" ~ took a break and came back for forums. Pick of the litter...LMAO ~ oh sure. If I'm not posting my ta-tas and allowing myself to be "rated" I can promise, the proverbial pick of the litter doesn't even know I exist. Oh yes, I get a plethora of mail. Much of it fun, some of it assinine, but more than anything ~ just lonely people looking for someone to listen and respond. Much like myself I suppose. I'm rather intrigued by this "ratio" because the last time I followed the site owners posts all over the net, it was more like 1:10. Oddly, I am not only ready, willing and able to relocate, it's a prefernce. And I'm still here. You can't materialize a "fit." It's either there or it isn't. I could have linked up with someone long ago ~ and guess what, I'd be right back here posting a "What went wrong" thread. The truth is: this isn't the ANSWER. This is an OPTION. Major difference between the two. You can be here, take it for what it is: supposed to be fun, light, possibly the means to an end. It's not the answer for anyone who doesn't believe in it. If you don't like the way the woman's movement has evolved, don't look at the woman who believe in it. I staunchly REFUSE to be considered a libber. It takes away from all that I hold dear to my life. He's the man, I'm not. Period. I don't want to do a man's job, I don't even give a crap about making as much money as he does. Hell, if he has a job, I'm turning cartwheels. So again, it's not the women or the men here causing the trouble. It's not the extremist libbers, it's each and every person here who honestly thinks that posting in a thread is going to magically make a world of difference. Look how many opinions have been changed in the past 50 pages ~ NONE. HA.....maybe that is what this is about ~ just people who don't have anyone to bicker with at home. So, we do it here. Gotta love the net.
cotter: well said my friend ~ as usual. ((((hug))))
Who dug up this thread? Wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy old.
Internet dating sucks period.
Dear me ~ I'm secretly in love with this man. He get's it. | |
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