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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 7:22:37 PM | Cotter, Cotter. LMAO! Sex in the Kitchen's good enough for starters. Later you can show us how to soup up our classic muscle cars. And/Or change vacuum cleaner bags.
It's true, though, there are a few fragile Y chromosome egos walking around the planet.
("Wide Grin Emoticon").  | |
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EC22
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Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 527 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 7:35:22 PM | My quote
I'm saying that both men and women can be shallow. Any reasonable person would agree with me.
Cotter's response
Yuppers .. that's what I said. I suppose a person's frame of mind might have interpreted it otherwise.
Cotter, you never said anything close to the above quote
The guys have their pick of all the women ... most of which are just looking for a sincere, honest, monogamous man. The men decide by breast and waist size who they will meet up with AND ... if you don't agree to climb in bed with them within a half hour of meeting them ... they're outta there!!!!!!
This is a perfect example of what you have been saying. That certainly isn't saying that men and women can be equally shallow. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 7:35:46 PM | And dont come and tell me that its the same for women too because that is bull sh it.
NOPE I will not tell you that...
But
What I will tell you is nothing is easy...
And
Somethings are worth the time and effort! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 7:37:23 PM | I don't want to sound like a jerk or cynical in anyway, but if all a woman is doing is just waiting to be contacted and decide whether they like the fellow, they're pretty much just hoping that someone they like will magically appear one day.
That's a pretty sucky way to find happiness in life.
So I'd say it can suck for those particular women more than men, because they're just looking and hoping rather than trying to make it happen. It's called just sitting and watching the world go by. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 7:39:53 PM | Thing is bro, some dumbass will try to meet these women and get stood up. Just encountered one of those myself. Arranged to meet two evenings (a few days ago and today). Stood up both times (once was apparently because of an emergency, just waiting for this time's excuse haha). Not even so much as a 10 second call to say "I can't make it..". Needless to say, she is out of contention  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 8:07:38 PM | | O.P., you are echoing sentiments that I myself have, and these same frustrations are also no doubt shared by many other decent guys who are on here, I am sure. I think that what we need to remember is to not have our expectations set so darn high, LOL.......This site is FREE after all, which means that there are many on here who aren't here with any serious intentions whatsoever. After all, they aren't out any money to be on here and play games. It isn't just this place, though, I mean, internet "dating" in general stinks. It is easier for people of BOTH genders to put up fronts, play games, and be flakes, in relative anonymity. I do agree that it is much harder for us guys, especially those of us who are serious about things, and who consider ourselves decent. I've stopped worrying about it though, I mean, alot of women have lost out on something good (me) and I won't lose any sleep over it, as it is their loss. If you can truly say that you are the one who is on the moral high ground and you know that you have a lot to offer someone, then all those flakes who don't want to contact you or respond to you are the real losers. They aren't good enough for you anyway, so don't worry about it. They will reap what they sow. They will continue to be attracted to the WRONG guys and they will continue to be done wrong. That's their problem. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 8:16:15 PM | Why is someone a flake or a loser because they are not interested in you?? You sound awfully bitter talking about they will reap what they sow. What does it matter if a stranger has no interest in you.Don't you think you are getting a little to worked up over this?
How do you know they are attracted to the wrong guys just because they are not attracted to you?My someone has a sky high opinion of themselves. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 8:29:43 PM |
How do you know they are attracted to the wrong guys just because they are not attracted to you?
I'm aware of plenty of decent men passed up for losers and wrong guys over the years. So they may just have a legitimate beef as opposed to your posturing.
And yes, eventually, people do reap what they sow. If if they want to ignore the consequences of their actions, they still had a choice to a certain extent. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 8:34:25 PM | | I have to completely agree with the poster. Internet dating has a extremely low rate of success for men. Your odds at winning the lottery are much better. I am not saying you should give up, but don't expect any lasting results. If you are a guy and haven't found anyone when you were younger, don't expect much to change now. I have done this for about 7 years now with zero success. It doesn't help matters that I am only average looking. But I still haven't given up even though I know I am probably wasting my time. But I figure I will go through the motions for a few more years until I finally accept that I am going to end up by myself. But I am ok with it. So I would not worry too much about it. I would just accept the fact that nothing will ever happen. But at least keep trying because maybe you will get at least one date about every 3 years of doing this. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 8:41:04 PM |
Personally I advise women to stick to the "dumbed down" version of the profile ... the men can't handle it if they know in advance that a woman knows her way around a toolbox and say for example ... how to change the oil on her car. Which can be construed as a sexist statement.
Interpret it any way you want, but I call it the way I see it and have experienced it. Sh*t happens ... right?
If a lady wants the guy to stick around ... then they don't dare drop the "handy around the house" ball too soon ... they'll regret it.
If a lady knows her way around a toolbox, she has to be very casual about it. You know, wait until they're in the middle of a project and casually look in on them right about the time they need an "extra hand" ... get them used to having you right there "in the area of the project", then make yourself gradually more and more useful and you'll stand a chance that they won't RUN!!!!
Cotter, Cotter. LMAO! Sex in the Kitchen's good enough for starters. Later you can show us how to soup up our classic muscle cars. And/Or change vacuum cleaner bags. Ahhhh "ck" ... good to see you here ... 
Nah ... I won't be messing with any "muscle cars" anytime soon ... it's just too hard to get the grime off my hands before I have to go into work and mess with the medications at work ... the inmates at the jail can get pretty picky about that ... 
And changing the vacuum cleaner bags ... I don't do that either ... I use a "rainbow" ... sucks the dirt into the water that I just dump out in the yard. Let the birds use the dried up house dust to build their nests with.
It's called recycling the house dirt back into the yard it was tracked in from ...
Yea drg1301 (msg: 526), it's often a synomym for "arrogant, self-righteous **** who wants everything handed to them" :P Perhaps some women, but not all of us.
The only reason I know my way around a toolbox is because I was married to an automobile mechanic for over 22 years and used to help him work on the cars and rebuild the engines ...
AND since my ex-husband is German, we lived in Germany for 10 years. There, I made the plans for and helped build a home ... every phase of it. Starting out with the footers and the brick/concrete and clay block walls ... all the way through ... including the plumbing and the electricity, the ceramic tiles, the wooden ceilings throughout the home ... and all while I was pregnant with my third baby. I also designed all the landscaping that surrounded the home. Throughout the entire time, I helped my husband run two businesses out of our home, so yes ... I read, speak, and write German fluently.
I designed and helped build a three - story room addition on the home we bought here in the US (Ohio) after our return to the US and helped install replacement windows and vinyl siding on the same home after the room addition was completed.
After the divorce, I took care of my parents for several years, (and not having been in school for 30 years), I put myself through nursing school, graduated with a 3.8 grade average, and have been working as a nurse for the past 10 years.
I am not helpless and only ask that my partner have respect for that which I do know. I don't want to compete with my partner with regard to my skills. I grew up with the idea that most men would greet such a skilled partner with open arms ... that's how my father treated my mother and that's what they taught me and my sisters when we helped him with home repairs and projects.
I guess I need to blame my father for teaching us about it as we grew up ... and empowering us to be able to drive a nail into a wall and fix things ... not to run from a repair job, but tackle it and do our best.
I also have no problem making first contact with men, but most are rude and never answer ... or have even outright just told me that I am simply too "plain" ... they are looking for a more "attractive" woman. I respect them for their honesty. The deputies at the jail get a good laugh out of the emails ... they just say the men are nuts and don't know what they're missing ... it's their loss.
I also sing and have been dancing for over 35 years ... even helped to teach cued ballroom. I'm also an avid camper and am a lifelong member of the Girl Scouts. I sew and do cross stitching and often design my own patterns because I just can't always find pre-designed patterns with what I want to make.
I started out after my divorce with very little to my name and fully support myself, carry no credit card debt, and am in the process of buying a home in Riverview, Florida. I am content being by myself but would love to have a caring partner to share the good times with.
Say what you want ... but a lot of men just can't handle that. And guess what? That's not my problem ... it's theirs. But it has been my experience that if they know all that about me too soon ... they are too "challenged" by that.
I'm proud of my accomplishments but do not feel I have done anything extraordinary in my life. I just always picked up the ball and ran with it. Apparently ... I'm just not the "helpless" type which appears to be what most men are looking for ... especially if they consider me a "challenge".
Sigh ...  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 8:50:50 PM | ***That makes a person an "authority" and all readers should just blindly accept anything the poster has to say?***
It offers me far more perspective than you and most people.
How many years of member support and marketing analysis do you have in the online dating world?
The only perspective you have is as narrow is as a single user.
I have the perspective of analyzing data from millions of people all over the world and as I mentioned working for a company that tried its hardest to get women to spend more money and initiate contact more. They would not budge regardless of how much incentive. The message from women around the women was clear:
They do not give a damn about investing time, money and effort into initiating contact with men. They are happy to revert back to the role of a submissive female and see what comes to them. They love the reward of feeling wanted, of being chased after but they do not want to reciprocate it. They want to keep that experience all to themselves and then when Mr. Right doesn't plop into her inbox she calls in to complain as a FREE USER that the system doesn't work.
Here's a story for you. The company that I was working for had to offer their telephone systems FREE to women because women would not pay to use a phone dating system. They even had to shut down their lesbian phone systems because even when women are interested in each other, women are too cheap to pay so the lesbian phone systems just cost the company money so offline they went.
This company had a gender discrimination lawsuit launched against them in Australia from a men's rights group that cited unfair business practise by charging men to use a system and allowing women to use it for free.
The corporation brought to the Australian courts years of research and data that proved no matter what the company tried that women would not pay. This was also backed-up by third-party university research in female behaviour. The evidence of the research was so overwhelming that the Australian courts had to rule in the corporation's favour. This ruling trickled into North America as well. Canadian and American courts mirrored the Australian court's decision based upon the evidence presented regarding female online dating behaviour.
Thanks to women, it is now completely legal and accepted for this company to run phone systems in North America and Australia where men have to pay and the women use it free. The women get every premium feature for free that the men have to pay for. And yet women would still call in to complain that it's not good enough. They wanted more. They wanted perfect matches sent to their inbox, they wanted the company to weed out the "bad" men for them and the list of demands went on and on. The more you give them for free the more they demand. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 9:11:55 PM | Have you ever considered that there's such a thing as spending too much time in the toolbox?
What if your man started wearing makeup? Perhaps just a tad too feminine for you?
Perhaps you're being just a tad too manly. Last time I checked hetero men still liked some feminine qualities in their women. They don't want to lie next to "Bob the plumber" at the end of the night.
I think you need some tenderizing. You seem as tough as a flank steak. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/28/2007 9:16:30 PM |
This company had a gender discrimination lawsuit launched against them in Australia from a men's rights group that cited unfair business practise by charging men to use a system and allowing women to use it for free.
That's good news . . . I'm glad that there are men out there shoveling the gravel as far as their rights are concerned.
If the situation were reversed---well, it simply wouldn't happen. Feminists and politicians would intervene before the business proverbially opened its doors. | |
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EC22
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Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 542 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/29/2007 7:45:01 AM |
Why is someone a flake or a loser because they are not interested in you??
According to at least some women here, if a woman ignores a man, it's because she "knows what she wants" or because she isn't attracted to him. If a man ignores a woman, it because he is a jerk, shallow, superficial etc. Double standard. The bottom line is there are some women ( like men ) who will ignore decent looking people who are nice and could be compatible with because they only go after the beauty queens/kings who are less compatible and in some cases have poor personalities. Also why anybody ( men or women ) want to date someone that ONLY cares about looks. These types of people are probably high maintenance, shallow, and/or arrogant. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/29/2007 12:03:51 PM | I would happily date a woman who displayed "manly" skills such as using tools, fixing cars, building houses, etc.
I would be disappointed that she tried to hide such ability because of what it would say about her opinion of men.
I *WOULD* be slightly intimidated by a woman who didn't "need" me.
There *WOULD* be an increased risk of her walking away when someone "better" came along.
I'd still date her, anyway.
I'd rather have something real that lasts for 2 months and fizzles than something fake that lasts 6 years and ends in heartbreak.
But, given my druthers, I'd rather have a smart, emotionally stable, financially and physically capable *PARTNER* who could understand and reciprocate unconditionally.
I won't be holding my breath. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/29/2007 1:24:23 PM | The majority of each gender going for the "top 500" of the other gender.
It really is that simple.
Could you imagine taking all those people and putting them in a community where they were forced to interact with one another in the "three dimensional" format over a long course of time? There would be much more hooking up as they would be seeing and interacting with the person in 3-D.
Passing a couple pics and some words is too easy...especially if you are one of those who has a constant supply.
Besides, like I said before, to some sitting in front of the computer on this site IS dating. It fulfills their daily minimum requirement for attention. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/29/2007 2:05:36 PM | rubbish, its a fact that most women initiate first contact, i can tell u just as many guys dont have the decency to say-thanx but no thanx to mails
WRONG !!!!
The owner and operator of POF stated that about 20 percent of first contact is by women and it is free here.
On paying sites the number of women who contact men is much lower and the women who do contact men have more success .then ones who just wait for a man to contact them
He also stated the ratio of men to women in the province of Ontario in Canada is about 1.5.
The ratio of men to women varies depending on location (rural vs city) and age..
Women over 50 have the least success on internet dating site because the ratio of men to women is about 1:1 and a large number of these men are looking for SEX only... so there are really less men interested in friends, long term or date relationships then there women looking for friends, long term or dating.
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/30/2007 8:19:49 AM |
"and a large number of these men are looking for SEX only... so there are really less men interested in friends, long term or date relationships then there women looking for friends, long term or dating."
well, possibly true, although reinforcing a tired sterotype about how "all" men are all about sex, and women are all about love..
you MIGHT be surprised to learn how many WOMEN are not all totally "honest" about what they want.
perhaps because it's not "socially acceptable" for women to admit that they seek sex, so they say "L-T relationship" or "friends" etc..
you might be surprised at how many women in the above categories have sent me e-mails on POF saying they'd like to "Get with me" or "jump my bones".
so the stereotypes are not 100% reliable.. | |
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