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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/30/2007 11:28:29 AM |
I don't want to sound like a jerk or cynical in anyway, but if all a woman is doing is just waiting to be contacted and decide whether they like the fellow, they're pretty much just hoping that someone they like will magically appear one day.
BINGO. Not the game either.
you might be surprised at how many women in the above categories have sent me e-mails on POF saying they'd like to "Get with me" or "jump my bones".
Doesn't that just put a smile on yer face? At least women making contact types exist. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/30/2007 12:02:41 PM |
Doesn't that just put a smile on yer face? At least women making contact types exist.
sometimes! though most often they are not the type(s) of women I am interested in, and/or are 1500 or more kms. away..
still, sort of nice; my point holds that it's not 'only' men who don't necessarily put their "true" category intentions down.. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/31/2007 1:19:00 PM | The thing I don't get is that there are more men on this site looking for a relationship with a woman. There are also more women than men, just looking for friendship (nothing relationship wise).
So it leads to reasoning that it is not as good for guys as it is for women.
So, my questions are: So What? and Who cares?
Why are the women posters so defensive about this? It's not like you ladies created this situation.
If I were a woman and a guy said this too me, I would rub my fingers to make the worlds smallest violin to play a sad song and say "sucks to be you". | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/12/2007 9:16:53 PM |
How do you know they are attracted to the wrong guys just because they are not attracted to you?My someone has a sky high opinion of themselves.
I just had to respond to this: Firstly, maryrachelle, if you don't have a high opinion of yourself (and this goes for ANYONE, not just you in particular,) then how can you expect someone else to have a high opinion of you? There is a saying that says something like if you can't love yourself and be happy with yourself first then you will never be able to love someone else or expect them to love you or be happy with you. I also never said that women are attracted to the wrong guys just because they aren't attracted to ME. You have a knack for taking things way out of context.
A woman who isn't interested in me is not automatically a loser or a flake either. Once again you take things that I state out of context. When I say they will reap what they sow I mean it in the context of the following: Women CLAIM that they want a GOOD MAN who will treat them like a lady and not a piece of dirt/filth/trash (take your pick here).......but they don't go for the "nice guys" because we are too boring or whatever the excuse of the week happens to be at that moment. They will reap what they sow because they will wind up with (once again) someone else who treats them like crap (because they like the "bad boys")......Their actions always betray what they SAY THEY WANT. If you still don't understand, then oh well..........I shouldn't have to justify ANYTHING to you anyway. I'm just sick of people taking stuff out of freaking context here. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/14/2007 8:04:08 AM | | BlackKitty: You're right, girls are bombarded by pervs....SOMETIMES. Yeah that can suck....but as a girl, you have OPPORTUNITY online. Much, much more so than man online. That's why he says online dating sucks for men and good for women. Women have a chance online. You can filter through the rejects. Men don't even get that opportunity usually. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/14/2007 8:07:57 AM | Oh by the way poeople, it is well known fact that the ratio of male and female users is HIGHLY skewed towards men. Meaning that are usually AT LEAST 3 men for every woman on any given online dating site. That is a conservative approximation. It can be as bad as 5:1. So yeah, being a guy online means you have MUCH more competition than women do. So yeah it does suck as a guy.
Set aside personal attacks and the inane topic of which gender is more superficial. Just consider the above fact alone. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/14/2007 2:01:10 PM | It may suck for guys that are boring and average, and thus unable to stand out, or those who fear or dislike competition. Since I'm in neither of these categories, I rather enjoy "Internet dating."
And guys, if you want to be the one doing all the screening, all you need to do is be a little sexy, and a little creative just like the women you're jealous of. If you have a nice profile then you'll get the attention of the people you want to meet, and who want to meet you. But you can't do this while being average, or even worse, needy. Grow a pair and tell the women on this site what you are and aren't looking for. They'll respect you for it, and most will find that confidence hot! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/15/2007 1:14:11 PM | hi larwilliams and hotdealdave,
i agree with both these statements, but without knowing the person you won't know which he is, the attention whore or just jealous of us women lol
take care | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/15/2007 5:00:21 PM | I do agree with you that women on dating sites have a lot more choice and because of this
it's very hard for men who aren't extream hunks to meet any.....but the way see it....thats no different than in a bar or nightclub.....This site is atleast free!!! So if you are lucky enough to meet a few really nice women GREAT!!! if not oh well......if they pass you by for the hunky jock....look at this way....because he's attractive (and knows it)he has many choices and will likely cheat them LMAO.....simply because he can | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/15/2007 5:18:29 PM | | I have met a few, just not the right one. Most of them contacted me first. I got tired of sending messages that hardly ever got responses, their loss. If someone sends me a message...great, if not they just missed an opportunity to at least meet one of the good ones. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/15/2007 5:44:10 PM | I'd like to ask why you would expect a woman to respond to a man who is (more than likely) ugly and not literate enough to speak English as well as most foreigners.
Face it, if you've lived in the u.s. all of your life, but you still can't speak the language... well, you're most likely not going to attract the brightest women (not like you're looking for a woman with brains).
If you're not good looking, you're not going to get a good looking woman.
The moral of the story is, never expect that a woman would be willing to provide you with all of those qualities that you, yourself, are incapable of providing. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/15/2007 6:54:59 PM | No shortcuts to finding someone special.
This is a response to all the guys in the world who spend most or all of their time sitting at a pc in a poorly lit room in your mothers basement. The type who are hoping to find the beautiful sex starved goddess who will grant your every wish in every part of your life, whether it be in your bedroom or in your wallet.
May I suggest to you that the more time you sit behind that screen and out of the sunshine the more you begin to look and think like Gollum from the Lord of the Ings. The only difference is that instead of obsessing about some Ring about a midgets neck you are greedily rubbing your hands together and muttering over and over "My Princes, My Princess, me must have me Princess!"
You need to think with a 5 year plan in place.
Ladies, correct me if I am wrong, but don't most of you as you have moved past adolescence and are no longer attracted to a guy merely because he has nice hair, nice arms or is "popular". Isn't more and more of the attraction about what he has made of himself than what he started out as.
Maybe wome n are not just attracted to men because they are wealthy or have a nice physique, maybe they also admire the guy because he took an ordinary body or financial picture and turned it around. You may have noticed that men in uniform are found to be more attractive to the average woman than a guy in jeans and T-shirt. Think of what it may mean, they admire a man who sees his role as thinking of someone other than himself, courage, commitment and duty are part of his personal value statement. The number of women who will admire because you excel in Halo or Warcraft or whatever, or that you whack off to porn featuring women who have impossible bodies that exist only because Dow Corning invented silicone some years ago and will do self-degrading things with men is not going to gain you any points either.
May I suggest that you develop a two prong approach:
-First: Determine what your strengths are and begin to hone them,
-If you have an ability mind for figures or find you like working with kids
learn to do other peoples taxes or become a Big Brother, etc.
If you like working on cars take more classes and develop the skill and start
helping others out with no expectation except growing a friendship.
-Second: Take a long look in the mirror and determine what might not attract woman or would actually repel a woman and make it you goal to alleviate or at least minimize that problem. If you have bad breath see a doctor or dentist.
If you have 8 inch biceps and a 60 inch waist you should begin working out and improving your phyique, it will taqke time, but in 5 years you will be unrecognizable to those who know you now. Work on your mind, learn new things, experience new things,
learn to live outside yourself and live for others and friends and women will be attracted to you, most importantly the "you" that you have made for yourself.
Just a few thoughts....or you can be five years older, five years more lonely and five years more jaded.
John | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/15/2007 7:21:29 PM | Re internet dating
Oh yeah I forgot to mention the benefit of getting new social skills.
As for sending pictures of your enormous "willie" it does not say much of a mans estimate of what women value, if that is what you think of your self then it is no wonder that so many women refer to whole lot of us as "Dicks" or****Head"
Being fairly average in the "willie" area and not Guiness book material I usually talk about my kids or send pictures of my dog. or ask about the womans interest or her taste in music, but if the willie thing is working out so well for you dweebs by all means don't break formation!
If your wallet is thin, may I suggest you do something to improve your worth in the area of being a breadwinner. The fact is women do think about a mans ability to provide, not just furs and diamonds but primarily basic shelter, transportation, and health care for future children.
On that vein, it would do you good to read a few books on raising children and how to havge a healthy relationship with a woman.
As for bedroom activities, a manual on sex and effective lovemaking can can take you from Zero to Zorro! In regards to women, make their sexual fulfillement paramount, her pleasure and fulfillment is your goal not yours.
Got it?
This is a brainstorm, revolutionary idea actually; may I suggest that you go out where real women are and learn how to talk to them. By that I actually mean learn how to listen to them, instead of boasting about yourself, inquire about her life and interests and then listen without interrupting. If you have to, write the basics on a napkin while she excuses herself to the ladies room. Being accurate in the details at your next viit will speak volumes to her that you care and listen. Remembering that her Aunt Gertrude is laid up with gall stones and remembering Gertrudes name back in Athens, Georgia will get way farther in her heart than your glamour shots of your Johnson.
While at home, turn off "Amrican Idol and, read a book or a dozen so you have more coming out of your mouth than the smell of Pall Malls and Budweiser.
May I suggest that you spend at least 6 months taking dance lessons every week and learning how to move around women. Regularly attend places where women come to dance and come nicely dressed and smelling nice. I think you will be noticed, esp if you improve and they see your courage to begin something new. I would guess if a man is about a 6 on the 1 to 10 scale of attractiveness he can probably advance to an 8 by becoming a decent dancer.
The above will do you good and are way cheaper than a Porsche Carrera and will attract a better caliber of woman as well.
Man for a guy who could not save his own marriage I am sure full of good ideas, eh?
Learn from the mistakes of others young man, listen and learn
John | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/15/2007 7:40:11 PM |
"to all the guys in the world who spend most or all of their time sitting at a pc in a poorly lit room in your mothers basement"
I came back to my PC in my mom's basement after thirty years in the real world.
Trust me, it an't that bad. 
"You need to think with a 5 year plan in place."
I did except I ran it for a one-year evaluation.
Check it out, dude, that's EXACTLY what I did ...
http://www.realmeme.com/roller/page/realmeme/?entry=online_paranoia_the_movie
However, what I discovered in the past year is that
i) the majority of women (over 50%) judge me on my house, car & income.
ii) the demographics of age work against me
iii) a chunk of the remaining women are undesirable
iv) a chunk of the remaining women are too demanding
So I dialed back my effort and expectations and I spend a lot of time in the basement now.  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/15/2007 7:50:25 PM |
"he can probably advance to an 8 by becoming a decent dancer."
I agree with this.
I definitely met more women after I shed my phobia of dance floors.
I've been thinking about taking line-dancing classes.
And you're right, I definitely get noticed.
A 50-year guy in a dance club does stand out.
I'll probably end up a dance club tonight.
But that doesn't change the overall odds of the situation. The fact is that the great majority of people who are single, at this age, are less-than-desirable material. That's just the odds of the thing. I didn't realize that until I separated and started dating. I didn't realize that I was so undesirable in certain ways.
And they're not things that I can change (age, hair, height) or that I care to spend effort to change (house, car, social proclivity).
That's just how it goes, man. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/15/2007 7:59:43 PM | | This is not true; i feel im attractive and im not getting 100s of emails nor does everyone respond to me......so know its a 2 way street, yeah maybe if i showed my boobs off it be different but thats only asking for trouble... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/15/2007 8:20:15 PM | I have been told I am very attractive throughout the years and when I was younger had no problem finding guys to date - don't now either (but now it's not usually the guys to which I am attracted). I've been on other BIG dating site 3 times. This time around (about 3 months now) I have only had about 10-15 e-mails and perhaps 30 winks. I have written to probably 20 men and only two have written back - one "no thanks" and the other I am still corresponding with. I do have to say though, I did purposefully write my profile to weed out about 70% of men. But you guys aren't the only ones who get no response. Frankly, I'd rather have a lower response rate if those that do respond are of high quality, and they usually are, so I can't complain. So far no match though.
This brings me to a related point. I think it is very rude when someone takes the time to read a profile and write a thoughtful e-mail only to be totally ignored. This just pisses me off to no end and just shows you how manners are non-existent in our society anymore. It is one reason I've thought to leave online dating all together. Because I was raised with manners and I know how it feels to be ignored, I write back to every man that responds to my profile. People just don't give a sh*t about each other anymore. Saddens me greatly.  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/15/2007 8:30:37 PM |
-First: Determine what your strengths are and begin to hone them,
-If you have an ability mind for figures or find you like working with kids
learn to do other peoples taxes or become a Big Brother, etc.
If you like working on cars take more classes and develop the skill and start
helping others out with no expectation except growing a friendship.
-Second: Take a long look in the mirror and determine what might not attract woman or would actually repel a woman and make it you goal to alleviate or at least minimize that problem. If you have bad breath see a doctor or dentist.
If you have 8 inch biceps and a 60 inch waist you should begin working out and improving your phyique, it will taqke time, but in 5 years you will be unrecognizable to those who know you now. Work on your mind, learn new things, experience new things,"
Bravo!!!  This is EXACTLY what I do when I feel jaded about dating. I focus on improving other areas of my life. I recently went back to school to finish my college degree and graduated last year. This year I've sign up for groups where I can meet people IRL and online. I am currently taking refresher swimming classes and have also lost 35 lbs. After mastering swimming, I am thinking of taking up painting again and teaching classes at a self-sufficiency program for low-income women. The list is endless...do what makes you happy and fulfilled. Male/female relationships are only one aspect of life. There is so much more out there.  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/21/2007 12:30:30 PM | Money........That's not all the ladies are interested in.Believe it or not, there are men out there that are the same way..... You may have looked more comfortable in your new SUV.. I think that the combination.....all those things made you appear happier....of course the fact that you are were self- sufficient does make a working woman more comfortable. Besides not all women need a man for material things.....We can get them on our own.  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/21/2007 1:43:20 PM |
I am so tired of hearing guys complain about how internet dating sucks for them..how is it any better for us women sometimes??..We tend to get a lot of sexually suggestive messages from pervs and such or when we decide to meet up with a guy he has one intention only.How does that make it good??..Yeah so we get messages..but they aren't ones we'd like to be getting...
Boy, did you hit the nail on the head! It's no better for us women! I think I'm a reasonably attractive gal, but I have gotten zero emails or contacts from anyone on this sight in a month. I have seen this to be true of other sites who have chat forums like this. Seems like everyone just wants to be on the forums. I found another really good site that I have gotten quite a few emails and contacts from that actually resulted in some meetings in person. A couple of weeks ago I had 4 dates with 4 different guys in one week. All but one was very nice and courteous. The one that wasn't wanted to constantly kiss me and suck my fingers!
Of course POF will not let me mention this other site, but if anyone is interested, email me. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/21/2007 1:56:29 PM | Hi Capturedsunshine love the name by the way.
I did try to email you but your restrictions would not let me. Is it just an American site? as i'm in England.
I have to agree with all thats been said, though not read them all far to many pages. My experience so far is crap. Sometimes it starts of ok but then everything stops. One guy was messageing me and i did feel his profile was to good to be true seems like i was right. I try to be open minded about the site but you do start feeling jadded after a while. We are all in the same boat and just have to hope that our ship will come in lol. | |
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