|
|
|
|
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/21/2007 2:39:50 PM | I agree with the OP 100%. Every single word. Preach on, bro, preach on.
Online dating has really gotten out of control. We've all become so horribly devalued, reduced to words on a screen, another msg in the inbox, another click away. Then even if you get to that first date, they'll just keep looking online, and kick you to the curb if it looks like the grass is greener elsewhere.
A lot of people are getting frustrated. I think it'll come to a head pretty soon. I don't know what the viable alternative will be, (other than rl, hah) but I certainly welcome it.
I don't get all this bashing on him tho. Regardless of his profile being slim on details and his pics being gone, his points remain valid. Maybe he just recently took them down?
"Aww, he's weak! Look at the poor baby! Time to swing our arms and stomp around!" I dunno about you guys, but HS for me was a long time ago. :p | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/22/2007 3:22:46 PM |
If you're not good looking, you're not going to get a good looking woman.
Luckily, a man can overcome this obstacle with a fat wallet. Shut up, its a proven fact. My question is, how does a woman overcome the same obstacle?
The shep | |
|
EC22
|
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 578 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/22/2007 3:51:03 PM |
If you're not good looking, you're not going to get a good looking woman.
On POF, you could be decent looking man or even a good looking man in some cases, email a bunch of average looking women and still get few responses. The men/women ratio + some people having unrealistic expectations + some people here not seriously looking for a date can make internet dating hard for men. I'm not saying it's great for women, but IMO it's worst for men. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/27/2007 8:52:59 PM |
capturedsunshine wrote:
I found another really good site that I have gotten quite a few emails and contacts from that actually resulted in some meetings in person. A couple of weeks ago I had 4 dates with 4 different guys in one week. All but one was very nice and courteous. The one that wasn't wanted to constantly kiss me and suck my fingers!
Tried e-mailing you for this site, but a message popped up saying you don't accept e-mails from my gender.  | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/4/2007 3:31:12 AM | online dating is BEST for women - they play the friggin games... and y'all (insert female explitive here) women do suck for that one. you run off what is left of the good men with 300 guys on your list to toy with...
Prime Example:
user's name withheld
I am Seeking a Man For Dating
user's name withheld Appears on 316 members favorites lists and has 2 roses that can be sent.
first date
For a First Date, well i usually like to keep it simple and casual, to make sure we are both comfortable. Maybe getting a cup of coffe or hot chocolate at a trendy place, or catchin a few drinks (beers or****ails) at a nice lounge or sports pub would be fun too, while maybe playin a game of darts or going to watch a live band play somewhere. Those would all be fun first time dates. I usually like to do dinner with someone that i have already met atleast once and we have hit it off and have that spark and chemistry. And then of course the third and fourth dates, well....you will just have to meet me to find out how fun those will be......lol....:)
Typical player - has kids - has nothing better to do than sit at home and make POF a prime example of why it will never be useful as the tool it was invented for - just a site to play games
And a note to the 30 somethings... GROW UP!
my 2c
happy 4th y'all and happy fishin - hope there's not 300 on your next wish list... damn (insert female explitive here)
-max | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/12/2007 9:31:01 AM | maximus100769 wrote:
online dating is BEST for women - they play the friggin games... and y'all (insert female explitive here) women do suck for that one. you run off what is left of the good men with 300 guys on your list to toy with...
1) Why assume that when a woman is on over 300 peoples' favorites list that they are all men? Over 160 people have me on their favorites list and believe me ... they are not all men.
2) Why assume that when a woman is on over 300 peoples' favorites list that they are "toying" with every single person? I do not know more than 10 of the people who have me on their favorites list. I have no control over who puts me on their favorites list.
**Some have written to me that they put me on the favorites list because they like to follow my posts.
**A couple of the men have written to me that they like seeing my legs and put me on their favorites list because it makes it easier to find my profile. That is their prerogative.
**Three that I know of have put me on their favorites list because I help them with their party threads. I have never met them and the only exchange I have with them is to help them with their party threads.
**Several have put me on their favorites list because I help them with learning how to use the features here on POF ... like teaching how to do the "quotes", "bold", and "italics" in the forums.
I am very good friends with a male moderator who is on 322 peoples' favorites list. I am one of the people on his list. I would venture to say that many who have him on their favorites list are women. Should we all assume that because so many people have him on their favorites list that he is "toying" with all of them or perhaps even "toying" with all the ladies who have him on their favorites list? That's pure BS.
Men who assume that just because a lady is on a large number of peoples' favorites list they have no chance at catching her eye are ...IN MY OPINION ... either
1) quite insecure ...
OR
2) looking for an excuse to feel sorry for themselves ...
OR
3) both!!!!
Get over yourself already and quit spewing that kind of BS on here. The following could be one very good reason why no decent, self-respecting lady wants to have anything to do with you ...
"maximus100769 : lookin for a fun friend with benefits" ... they already have you figured out.
You write that you are seeking "friends", but in reality it appears that you are really just out for an "intimate encounter".
Why not just be totally up front about it?  | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/12/2007 9:16:17 PM |
user's name withheld Appears on 316 members favorites lists and has 2 roses that can be sent.
There are a lot of guys who put women on his favorites list simply because he likes the way they look. That doesn't mean that all of those have even written to those women. Yeah, if you're a guy on an online dating site, be prepared to write a lot of e-mails and get few, if any, responses in return.
Me personally, it'd suck to be a good-looking woman on here because of the number and kinds of e-mails they get. I'm sure they don't have time to answer every single one of them. But I don't really feel sorry for them because they will overlook a lot of good guys and go for the "cream of the crop": guys who are somewhat tall and make a lot of money. Not every woman will, but usually the more beautiful a woman is, the more high-maintenance she will be. Think Italian sports car with a Pinto engine under the hood. It may look great, but a lot of maintenance will have to be done on it.
If you REALLY want to improve your chances of having a woman in your life, then you might want to consider travelling to Latin America or the Philippines for love. Colombia's a dangerous country in most places, but they say the northeast is quite safe: Barranquilla, Santa Marta, Cartagena. Go on a single gentleman's romance tour to a place like Barranquilla (or another big Latin American city) and you're sure to see hundreds of women and maybe 20 other American guys. But beward of those just looking for a green card. At any rate, you'll have so much female attention YOU can get to pick and choose to talk to women you're interested in with the help of an interpreter. A lot of guys go back on those tours because they have a good time. If you're interested in marrying a woman from a more traditional culture, then make sure you're ready to be the sole provider and breadwinner in the household because she will want a family, especially if she doesn't have kids already.
 | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/12/2007 11:13:07 PM |
online dating is BEST for women - they play the friggin games... and y'all (insert female explitive here) women do suck for that one. you run off what is left of the good men with 300 guys on your list to toy with...
Prime Example:
user's name withheld
I am Seeking a Man For Dating
user's name withheld Appears on 316 members favorites lists and has 2 roses that can be sent.
first date
For a First Date, well i usually like to keep it simple and casual, to make sure we are both comfortable. Maybe getting a cup of coffe or hot chocolate at a trendy place, or catchin a few drinks (beers or****ails) at a nice lounge or sports pub would be fun too, while maybe playin a game of darts or going to watch a live band play somewhere. Those would all be fun first time dates. I usually like to do dinner with someone that i have already met atleast once and we have hit it off and have that spark and chemistry. And then of course the third and fourth dates, well....you will just have to meet me to find out how fun those will be......lol....:)
Typical player - has kids - has nothing better to do than sit at home and make POF a prime example of why it will never be useful as the tool it was invented for - just a site to play games
This women in NOT a player but probably is very good looking with photos showing lots of skin.
Most women who are on dating site are NOT interested in friend with benefits.
You are looking for a friend with benefits.
You have no photo displayed ..... WHY ???
Married men and players do NOT display photos so they will not get caught . | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/13/2007 7:36:47 AM | I will have to agree you with 100% Ebory's. I have sent out quite a few emails with maybe one responce. I as well get lots of looks and attention from woman outside the internet realm. In my case the are mostly younger than myself.
I am far from boring and am a very interesting person. So what's up with the "Read Deleated" | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/13/2007 2:26:53 PM |
I will have to agree you with 100% Ebory's. I have sent out quite a few emails with maybe one responce. I as well get lots of looks and attention from woman outside the internet realm. In my case the are mostly younger than myself.
I am far from boring and am a very interesting person. So what's up with the "Read Deleated"
You are "Separated" and many woman on this site will not date a man who is separated. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/13/2007 2:38:42 PM | The key to internet dating, as well as dating in general, is to listen to Freud: don't take it personally.
It's all very capricious, because people are rather fickle, and no matter how much we would like others to like us, there's not much we can do about other people's preferences. Let's face it, on the internet, everybody is warm and kind, generous and loving, and for the life of us we can't understand why everyone else wouldn't see the same thing!
You should look at the internet as only one part of your dating scene. As everyone else would advise you, live your life, hang out with your friends, engage yourself in the arts and hobbies and someone will show up.
As they said in "Shakespeare in Love," how do I know it will happen? I don't know, it always does. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/13/2007 2:43:28 PM | I think a lot of women are just jaded by the fact that so many men send them messeges that they just don't respond anymore. Me myself, I consider myself to be a very nice guy with some unique interests that I'm proud of. I consider myself attractive but I'm not stuck on myself. I send out emails too and many times no responce, the problem? The way I see it is this, that same woman probably woke up to find 50 other emails in her box and so if I'm not exactly to a T what she is looking for then no responce.
Is this right? Well, I prefer a responce even if it's a "your not what I'm looking for sorry" but I understand to a point why guys get way less responces then women. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/13/2007 3:14:00 PM | I would love to know why some ( I said some) men think that women are getting so much mail..
I know that I am not a Barbie !! But I don't think I need a paper bag over my head either..
I hardly get mail.. And, for the most part, when I do, it's from the "MEN" that want a quick roll in the hay !! Those I DO NOT ANSWER BACK !!
I have friends on my list, some are women and some are men. They are "Friends" and we chat in and out of the forums.. So the size of a friends list should not matter if you want to say hi to someone.
In most cases I do not agree with the following statement
Even if you get to that first date, they'll just keep looking online, and kick you to the curb if it looks like the grass is greener elsewhere
However there are some Men and Women who do this. (The ones that are married and looking or just looking for quick sex)
The last time I looked at the calendar it was the year 2007, it's a whole new ball game and if you want it, then just ask for it. (sex). Why put up some bullsh*t profile ??
I am tired of the "few/many/men/women" that are f*cken things up for those of us that actually want to “date/meet/ marry/ find the right person” for more then just a night or two..
Ok I’m off my soap box now.. I just had to add in my 2 cents..  | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/13/2007 3:23:02 PM |
I am tired of the "few/many/men/women" that are f*cken things up for those of us that actually want to “date/meet/ marry/ find the right person” for more then just a night or two..
In all due respect to you, I would say your pretty rare then. I have read posts where many woman to get tons of mail from guys all the time. I do think it's a issue of what I and other guys pointed out. Men send more mail to the woman and the woman sit back (not all but most) and just delete a guy if he is not exactly to a dot what she wants.
I hardly get mail.. And, for the most part, when I do, it's from the "MEN" that want a quick roll in the hay !! Those I DO NOT ANSWER BACK !!
I'm not one of those guys and yet I don't get replys back like other men have also pointed out. I still think it's a numbers issue. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/13/2007 7:51:19 PM | Ah, but does it??
I like that word capricious; i don't think i have heard it since Gino Vanelli...and if you know who that is, well, it does age a person!! ha.
I do like the way you state it though....[hang out with your friends, engage yourself in the arts and hobbies] etc....well put, so true. | |
|
EC22
|
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 591 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/14/2007 8:42:15 AM | IMO this is why internet dating is bad for men. Women have to deal with Reasons 2 and 3 as well, but reason 1 is much more likely to apply to men.
1. Like many men have stated, a lot men don't get many responses or initial contacts. It's not the just the men who only contact the great looking women or send out poor emails. This applies to men who who are decent looking, have decent profiles, send nice emails to average looking women and still get few responses. The ratio is a factor and many women have a long list of requirements and dealbreakers that eliminate most men.
2. If a woman shows interest a man and there seems to be a connection, sometimes she will back out at the last minute or suddenly disappear when a man tries to make a date a with her.
3. Some women have unrealistic expectations of a first date. They expect instant chemistry and magic. If a man doesn't match her fantasy image of him that is based on a few pics, his profile, and some email/phone conversations, then the relationship is often ended right away instead of giving it a chance and some time to grow. | |
|
Rhett1
|
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 592 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/14/2007 8:47:00 AM | Cotter: You called it!
I think that some men, not naming any names...Maximus...might be simply looking to place the blame for their datelessness on someone else. Wah! Grow up and take a look at yourself...maybe you're just not that tempting. Boo friggin' hoo.
As for Cotter's points about favorites lists...she's dead-on. I am on 12 people's favorites lists and most of them I've never EVER talked to, emailed, etc. Notice on the bottom of profiles it says "On ___ favorites lists", NOT "Has ___ favorites on her list". There is a difference.
You have no clue why she's on so many people's lists (of course, it's easier to assume she's a game-playing slut than assume that she's just not interested in YOU). | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/14/2007 9:21:45 AM | | Even if a guy is good looking he can mess it up by being a total idiot. Case in point- this guy shows up 20 mins late, brings a friend (without asking 1st), laughs like a hyena so by the end of the date I couldn't wait to get away from his annoying ass. I get home & he's sent me a picture of his privates which is really a turn off because he has razor bumps & it's all RED! | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/19/2007 1:18:48 AM | "rosesforyou" wrote:
I'm not one of those guys and yet I don't get replys back like other men have also pointed out. I still think it's a numbers issue. This is really somewhat funny ... sending emails and not getting any answers or having them simply read/deleted happens to plenty of ladies.
Personally, I answer all "reasonable" emails. Until I added the "When a user first contacts you the message must be 200 characters" feature, I was getting emails like "Hey Babe ... nice legs (gams is often used as well). Those emails really do not merit an answer.
Women may be getting more emails ... but what kind of "content" do they have? Anyways, who would answer an email that the inference is some man "drooling" over them longing for sex with them? The decent respectable women will not answer them.
I am in no way trying to say that ALL men do this, but my experience has been that when men do write such things ... "read/deleted" is the one answer that says it all ... NOT INTERESTED!!!!!
If a man takes the time to compose a nice email to me, even if I'm truly not interested, I still answer the email in the kindest way I know and wish them luck here on POF. I don't always have the time to compose the answer right away, but I do get back with them. That's me and not all women subscribe to that, but I do know many women here on POF who do.
When I first moved to Florida, I emailed some men to let them know that I was new to the area and just looking for "friends" and information on nice places to go in order to meet people. 99% of the emails I sent not only went unanswered, but most were simply "read/deleted".
I just wanted to add that ... so that the men on here who insist they are being ignored will hopefully realize that they are not alone. It is a two way street. It happens to both men and women on here and if you focus on that aspect, you are setting yourself up for failure.
I don't have a "boyfriend / significant other / partner" etc., but if I never find one, I will still be happy. That does not mean that I do not want a companion in life, because I would love to have a man in my life. However, if it does not happen, I am still going to stay here on POF because I have met some wonderful people and many of them give my life meaning.
So what if a lot of men are not interested. I don't need or necessarily want "a lot" of men in my life ... one will do for me just fine, thank you very much. | |
|
| |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/19/2007 2:41:00 PM |
In all due respect to you, I would say your pretty rare then. I have read posts where many woman to get tons of mail from guys all the time. I do think it's a issue of what I and other
guys pointed out. Men send more mail to the woman and the woman sit back (not all but most) and just delete a guy if he is not exactly to a dot what she wants.
You can actually see that not all women get lots of email.
Click on a profile and you see in the top right part of your screen the following: "No email"
Click on the "No Email" and you will the Last 30 visiting women who haven't received a first contact email in over a day within 50 miles of your zip code.
I think why you are not doing well is you state in your profile that you "DO NOT WANT KIDS" ....
You are 35 and most women over 30 have or want kids. In my area for women who 30-40 it is about 70 percent who want or have kids. If this ratio is the same for your area then you are fishing in a small pond and women in your pond are already getting plenty of email.
Also you live in a rural area so the ratio of men to women is much getter than you would find in a large city. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/20/2007 5:46:07 PM | Ok here we go.. I looked at my profile and actually added all the stuff up..
I have had contact with 27 people..
Out of those 6 were women.. (Chit chat about forums)
I sent 17 emails (to men) . Out of those 4 were, "I want to steal your profile" the other were a "Hello" to test the waters..
Out of all those (17) I received 7 responces..
I am on 9 peoples Fave Lists.. Out of those people.. 6 are men (2 that have never emailed me) and the other 3 are women..
I've went out with 6 differant men.
I am GREAT FRIENDS with one of them still, and one other I am still seeing (more off then on)... (Big #'s of "dates" from all those people, eh ?)
I've been on this site since 1/29/07..
So there you have it.. NOT all women get tons of emails...    | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/20/2007 5:55:11 PM | | I think the whole online dating is just sucky for anyone involved I mean think about it you are either desperate to find someone, too busy to do anything but play on the computer, or you are just the average joe or Jane trying to meet another average joe or jane to spend some time with. Either way it sucks on both ends equally. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/20/2007 6:15:16 PM | | The problem is not just with the online dating sites. It's impossible to find available interested women anywhere. Even offline, they have tons of contacts. Any girl you would think to approach is already on her cell phone chatting away with some guy. It's nearly impossible to meet a woman, especially if you are just an average looking guy. And even if you do get a date, your chances of a second are slim because she already has tons of other offers. They say that there are more women than men but I am not sure I believe it. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/20/2007 8:50:22 PM | Sorry-- but I dont get 100's of emails a day!!!Try being a woman who is honest and writes:5'9 (5'11 in dinner heels), 220 pounds; 44DD, 37 W, 47 Hips.
Of course I dont have a pic posted either. So, not all woman have it easy. That added to the fact that I message at least 15 men a night, and am lucky to get one or two replies a night from a man who isnt stuck on dating ONLY women in a size 10 dress! (I get very few men contacting me, and of those who do, they are either too young, too old, or smoke like chimneys).
I'm not all that bad either-- nearing my BA Degree, a published author with a book on the shelf; a former Ms. Santa Cruz Beauty Pageant Runner up... lots of awards and scholarships.. I dont like to brag, but I'm not a loser... and STILL men dont seem to run to my profile, wooing me with hundreds of letters...
Sure I've rejected men- I'm particularly big on finding an educated man-- I was raised in a family of phd's. And of course I dont want him to look like the old man in the sea, with fleas in his beard! lol But I'm for the most part, fair minded and more interested in a man's heart and mind.
We all have our crosses to bear, women included.
To add to this:
I've been on 4 dates so far on POF. NONE of them turned out to be long term thus far.
They were just "fun" dates. They ask for repeat dates, but are more interested in sex and my 44DD's, than anything serious.
Yes, most of the men were attractive; in fact 2 were former underwear models , the other 2 were average but sucessful--a well known journalist and another an attractive psychologist but looks "dont mean squat".
I'm on 10 peoples Favorites lists; but only one of them emails me regularly. The rest dont even, apparently know I'm alive! lol
ITS ALL RELATIVE IN THE GAME! | |
|
|
| Page 24 of 94
|
10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50 |
|
Home
login 
