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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/20/2007 10:07:05 PM |
The problem is not just with the online dating sites. It's impossible to find available interested women anywhere. Even offline, they have tons of contacts. Any girl you would think to approach is already on her cell phone chatting away with some guy. It's nearly impossible to meet a woman, especially if you are just an average looking guy. And even if you do get a date, your chances of a second are slim because she already has tons of other offers. They say that there are more women than men but I am not sure I believe it.
You need to start subscribing to a mailing list from Ross Jeffries.
speedseduction dot biz
He has an approach called "The Boyfriend Destroyer". He and other so-called seduction gurus say that women will say they have a boyfriend just to test the guy who's talking to her. One thing that Ross says to say when a girl says she's already got a boyfriend is this: "You know, a boyfriend is like a cold. They're easy to get, but you wouldn't want to keep one." Of course, if a girl is satisfied with a guy, she's not going to leave him for you, no matter what you do or say.
And if you're tired of having a slim to none chance with American women, give Latinas a try. I'd recommend ilovelatins dot com. They have several single gentlemen's tours to Barranquilla, Colombia (that city is pretty safe, being far away from the coco fields and all). About 20 men and hundreds of Latinas. Interpreters are available.
And then, of course, there's Russian and Filipina women. Depends on your tastes, really, and what kind of woman you're looking for. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/20/2007 10:20:15 PM | mango3~
"...it's impossible to find available interested women anywhere..."
this is so untrue. i know, because i am one! lol! i NEVER get approached by men my own age. i am a bit shy sometimes, and no, i am not going to go up to some guy and hit on him.
it really boils down to chemistry. and i have had relationships with both very good looking men, and men whom some would consider to be unattractive. they were attractive to me. that was all that matterd. i have also been dumped by men that some would consider to be rather unattractive too! lol! and yes, had my heart broken by them as well.
if a guy is a over weight, doesn't take care of himself, dresses badly, has no sense of style, has an out dated hair style, glasses, etc. those are things that many women do not find attractive. it's also rather disconcerting to go out and have some guy yelling, "whooo hooo" next to you, and then lean over and hit on you all in the same breath. if a man is well groomed, has a sense of style, tries to dress appropriately, and has some couth, even if he is average he shoulnd't have any trouble getting a woman to take notice. i certainly do. and if he is intellectual, that is the best.
take a look at ric ocasek from the cars. he has been married to paulina poriscova (spelling?) for years! he has got to be one of the most unattractive men walking this planet right now as we speak!
i have often seen an average looking man walking down the street with a lovely woman on his arm. but i have never seen a slovenly, badly dressed, doughy looking guy with a beautiful woman on his arm...
just some food for thought...
lar | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/20/2007 10:36:07 PM | I totaly agree with you frankiethepunk you can't be picky about who you want to have a relationship with.
It's not that easy for us women on here either, there's a good portion of us who aren't the supermodle type so it's not all that easy for us to attract men. Plus I don't think that it all should be about the looks, yes that is important too, but what I think is more important is that you find out from a wide variety of people what they are really like and you should look on the inside for the true beauty of someone.
And another thing is don't give up. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/21/2007 1:05:21 PM | | "It's not that easy for us women on here either" is a quote many women have responded with in this thread. But what I think we have here is a bit of a language barrier. When some (not all) of us girls say "It's not that easy" what they mean is "It's not that easy to find the man of my dreams on the internet" and when men say "It's not that easy" what they mean is "It's not that easy to get any woman at all to even notice me on the internet" Let's give the guys a break ladies, we all know that it's not the same thing. JMO PBJelly | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/21/2007 6:23:55 PM | | You know I really do think it can go both ways. I've messaged plenty of guys myself and recieved little to not responses. I don't recieve 100 emails a day but then again I am not the best looking girl by far but, I don't reply to a lot of the few I get. Mostly because they are creepy...or the guys start out with the "joking" putdowns such as making fun of the sports teams I like. I've never once began a message with an insult. I think it pretty much just depends on who you message and who you don't. Don't let all the "hot" girls ruin it because they don't message you back...besides it's like a bar scene. A respectable, average cute girl who can hold a conversation doesn't nearly get hit on as much as the "hot" girl with no social skills does. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/21/2007 11:19:53 PM | well its like this, there are good people out there and there are people that just want what they see, look at the divorce rate,cute couples that dont like what they found inside each other . if people were to look at the person inside it would be a different world. the ones that dont give you a chance ,well they werent worth talking to anyway. i look at it like this, i know i'm a heck of a guy and i own my home have a few cars, live a good life, if i invite someone into that world they can pick two things yes or no. it's like the sign says plenty of fish out there. it is wrong though that some are out to be players and what not, men and women alike , but you know there is a way to make yourself always feel better, just turn it off and walk away as you hear the computer go off. those people that bug you fade away and they are gone. this is a great site to meet people on but people are people and your not going to change that fact. bottom line, ever see a hot chic or guy in a old folks home? we all lose it at some point and whats inside comes out as who we are and the ones hung up on themselves now are going to be the lonely ones then.
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/21/2007 11:33:04 PM | I do think, for some reason, there are more males on dating sites than women. I remember that some of them have men pay and women sometimes don't have to pay unless that has changed. Men are expected to generally e-mail women than the other way around in society. And if the men outnumber the women for some reason on the site making the site then it can be more difficult for the men to get women to at least be polite and acknowledge an e-mail even if they are not interested, but since they may be getting to many e-mails they don't bother, I assume. I don't know if a lot of women are also e-mailing men on the same ratio as the men.
Maybe they don't really need to if there are far more men out there... Women and men are about equal in society when it comes to numbers, so I am not sure what the problem is out there with more men on the sites... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/22/2007 12:32:57 AM | | I believe it is tit for tat........I dont get a lot of emails either....I have sent out a few with no replys......again because I am no supermodel or barbie doll type..........I dont try to email guys that are out of my league but ones that I think would make a good match...that has something in common with me.........however......never a reply.......I know I am not drop dead gorgeous or anything but be polite.......I will talk to everyone.....and have answered every email.......I know how to handle myself and dont mind telling them like it is......WoW!! There are some guys on here that I would love for them to look my way.......but reality is they never will........I am not enough (beauty, charm, wit, whatever) and that is ok.........There is some1 out there for me.......I just gotta catch him or let him catch me....... Teresa | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/22/2007 12:44:53 AM | There is no such thing as someone being out of my league. It's bollocks
I started working out at the gym and posted pics of the resutls and nwo i get tonnes more responses. It's pretty clear they dont even read my profile (and anyway it's shite)
OF course it's all about your looks. So improve yourself. It can be done
Teeth whitening
Gym
Tan
Haircut
Clothes / fashion
Take an interest in learning to dance - PROPERLY | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/22/2007 1:55:28 AM |
You know I really do think it can go both ways. I've messaged plenty of guys myself and recieved little to not responses. I don't recieve 100 emails a day but then again I am not the best looking girl by far but, I don't reply to a lot of the few I get. Mostly because they are creepy...or the guys start out with the "joking" putdowns such as making fun of the sports teams I like. I've never once began a message with an insult. I think it pretty much just depends on who you message and who you don't. Don't let all the "hot" girls ruin it because they don't message you back...besides it's like a bar scene. A respectable, average cute girl who can hold a conversation doesn't nearly get hit on as much as the "hot" girl with no social skills does.
You have the mail restrictions "Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter" and you would be surprised how many emails are blocked because of that.
Also a lot of guys are just look for sex only but state they are looking for "dating" or "friends" and when they see on your profile that you block "Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter" then they move on.
Are you contacting any Canadian guys in British Columbia ?
Us Canadian guy love our hockey ... and a girl who also love hockey ... is a bonus | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/22/2007 9:39:27 AM |
All I can do is sit here and shake my head ... if sex is all they want, there are plenty of sites out there full of women who are offering just that. Why do they have to come on here and "muddy up" the waters of our peaceful pond?
OR
Could it be that they have tried those other sites and no one wants them?
You forgot one other reason... Those site are NOT free and they are just too CHEAP to want to pay... | |
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EC22
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Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 613 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/22/2007 9:55:02 AM |
"It's not that easy for us women on here either" is a quote many women have responded with in this thread. But what I think we have here is a bit of a language barrier. When some (not all) of us girls say "It's not that easy" what they mean is "It's not that easy to find the man of my dreams on the internet" and when men say "It's not that easy" what they mean is "It's not that easy to get any woman at all to even notice me on the internet" Let's give the guys a break ladies, we all know that it's not the same thing. JMO PBJelly
PBJelly,
Amen. You are stating what many men here are thinking. Yes there are some women don't get many emails, but IMO the average looking woman probably gets a lot more emails than the average looking man. The ratio and men are more likely to make initial contact are probably the main reasons for this. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/22/2007 10:02:32 AM | ^^^^^
You forgot one other reason... Those site are NOT free and they are just too CHEAP to want to pay... GOOD POINT INDEED ...
And yes ... if the ladies are going to offer it up "for free" on here (as we do have ladies as well as gentlemen "seeking Intimate Encounter") then I guess we will have men wanting to contact them.
OT ...
I honestly don't believe internet dating sucks any more for guys than it does women. I know so many couples alone here on POF who have met and are in wonderful relationships.
There are arguments that if one is "not good-looking" they don't stand a chance, but I have to say that of the couples I know ... neither is a "Barbie" or "Ken". These are just average every-day people who have met and are quite happy with their mate.
Of the couples I know of on here ... not one of them was a "love at first sight" situation either. Some were in the same area ... some were long-distance ... not even in the same country.
Of all the couples I know on here ... the number one thing they have mentioned is that they have to feel "trust" for and with their partner. They have all remained on POF even though they have a partner and do not appear to have any problem with the fact that their partners are also still on POF.
If I met a gentleman here that I would want to spend the rest of my life with ... I would not give up my profile here on POF. I have made too many friends here and do not feel that I should have to give up my friendships with them just because I have met my life-partner.
I participate in the forums as well ... I do not see why I should have to give that up either just because I have met my life-partner. I have met a lot of interesting people here in the forums and have always suggested that the forums is where one should go to meet someone.
Writing in the forums gives insight ... it makes a two-dimensional profile multi-dimensional. It shows "personality" and "personality traits" that the profile does not show. It adds depth.
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/22/2007 6:08:53 PM |
OF course it's all about your looks. So improve yourself. It can be done
Teeth whitening
Gym
Tan
Haircut
Clothes / fashion
Take an interest in learning to dance - PROPERLY
Yeah, that's pretty basic. Most of us are NOT going to meet someone if we just sit at our computers all day hoping to meet that "perfect" person. And then there's always the e-books by seduction gurus like David DeAngelo.
"Make me rich and I'll make you a playa!"  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/22/2007 6:27:11 PM | Women traditionally migrate towards real good looking guys with good physical attributes and for some it is money. They continue to do this and these guys get a lot of action and take the goods and move on. Then the woman writes her profile and puts in all of the stipulations and then some rogue comes along and she does it all over again and on and on
"all men are dogs, I am not a one night stand, I want to be treated like a lady and on and on. Some times a woman has a rogure f-buddy taking care of her while she tries to play MZZZ. inocent with some decent guy and life goes on.
Here in so-cal the women are spoiled and the guys are cracked and walla you have more BS to deal with. I layed out basic profile and certainly will get no takers, because women are not equal to men. Men have to carry the ball and court and woo, me I'm tired of it, women seem to be more trouble than they are worth, it is no wonder so many men hit and move on. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/22/2007 6:28:43 PM | I think that, in response to pbjelly, the "it's not that easy to find the man of my dreams on the internet" thing goes both ways. There are many (though not all) guys who will complain about how hard it is for guys to find someone on the internet, when they really mean that they can't get the girl that looks like she belongs on the catwalk to talk to them. At the same time, there are many women who are on this thing who do have a hard time getting responses, not just from the man of their dreams, but anyone. Check out the "profile review" section of the forum, there are a lot of women who are in this position. I've found myself in this position at times.
The difference is that most women in this position (those of us who aren't getting emailed so much) don't complain about it or blame the men, and all too often, some blame ourselves. On the other hand, when men can't get women (particularly the "hotties") to respond to them, they complain about how hard it is for them online or that good guys finish last, or any variation of "it's the women's fault." It's tired, they sound like they're whining, and they need to stop complaining.
For the men - start emailing some of these women, and not just the "hot" ones who everyone else is emailing, and see if they respond. If you're not willing to do that, that's fine and I'm not knocking your choices. But good luck hedging your bets on the 5-10% of the PoF women that have that "look," and don't complain when you're on here weeks/months/years later and still single. | |
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EC22
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Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 620 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/22/2007 6:49:19 PM | I think that, in response to pbjelly, the "it's not that easy to find the man of my dreams on the internet" thing goes both ways. There are many (though not all) guys who will complain about how hard it is for guys to find someone on the internet, when they really mean that they can't get the girl that looks like she belongs on the catwalk to talk to them. At the same time, there are many women who are on this thing who do have a hard time getting responses, not just from the man of their dreams, but anyone. Check out the "profile review" section of the forum, there are a lot of women who are in this position. I've found myself in this position at times.
The difference is that most women in this position (those of us who aren't getting emailed so much) don't complain about it or blame the men, and all too often, some blame ourselves. On the other hand, when men can't get women (particularly the "hotties") to respond to them, they complain about how hard it is for them online or that good guys finish last, or any variation of "it's the women's fault." It's tired, they sound like they're whining, and they need to stop complaining.
For the men - start emailing some of these women, and not just the "hot" ones who everyone else is emailing, and see if they respond. If you're not willing to do that, that's fine and I'm not knocking your choices. But good luck hedging your bets on the 5-10% of the PoF women that have that "look," and don't complain when you're on here weeks/months/years later and still single.
Not all men email the 'hot women'. There are plenty of men with decent profiles who email average looking women and still get VERY few responses. Of course there are going to be more men who complain about this. First of all, there are more men on this site. Second, most men receive few initial emails and get very few responses. There are some women who receive few emails and responses, but there are probably many other women who do get a lot of emails due to the ratio and the fact that men are more likely to make initial contact. On other threads, I have seen some women who complained about read/deleted messages, not getting many emails etc. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/22/2007 6:55:08 PM | Jesus, this is all so much to take in. I've only been single since November and I've only recently (this month) started to try and "get out there". It's a bit overwhelming! I try to respond to all my messages, but there's so many....
Good luck to everyone here, this is crazy stuff... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/22/2007 9:17:07 PM |
Not all men email the 'hot women'.
ec22, I didn't say that ALL men do. Some men do email "average" women. But all too often, a sizeable percentage of men don't, even those who aren't "hot" themselves. Check out some of the forums where men will defend their actions to the death, "men are visual blah blah blah." Some of these same guys then create their threads and complain about how women don't respond to them, that women are too picky, that nice guys finish last, or something else that says that it's all women's fault they don't get many or any responses. Again, NOT all, but all too often.
First of all, there are more men on this site.
I don't think that the wealth of posts on this same tired issue is because there are more men than women on PoF, because women do start plenty of topics on the forums, just not these types of topics (at least not as often).
There are some women who receive few emails and responses, but there are probably many other women who do get a lot of emails due to the ratio and the fact that men are more likely to make initial contact.
My point was not that all men do one thing or another. I know better than that. My main point was that the non-response issue goes both ways, and is often not as simple as blaming the opposite gender for lack of internet dating success. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/22/2007 9:30:24 PM | CLEARLY you're sending emails to the wrong type of women.
(****Out of 10-15 e-mails I've sent so far, I've yet to receive a reply ******)
I message back every message I get. Even if the person doesn't appeal to me.
You said you think women are basing men on physical attractiveness- you yourself seem like you do the same.
That's not a bad thing though- you can't be upset if someone doesn't msg you back, if you're not their type- then they're not yours.
Just keep fishing.  | |
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EC22
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Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 625 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/23/2007 8:52:01 AM |
I didn't say that ALL men do. Some men do email "average" women. But all too often, a sizeable percentage of men don't, even those who aren't "hot" themselves. Check out some of the forums where men will defend their actions to the death, "men are visual blah blah blah." Some of these same guys then create their threads and complain about how women don't respond to them, that women are too picky, that nice guys finish last, or something else that says that it's all women's fault they don't get many or any responses. Again, NOT all, but all too often.
You make it sound like most men or a clear majority of men here only email the hot "women" which I disagree with. Sure there plenty of men who email the hot women, but there are also many ( not just some ) men who do email the average looking women. In some cases, the women are too picky or have unrealisatic expectations. Just look at the their list of requirements and dealbreakers on some women profiles. There are also some women who only go after the attractive fit men even though they are overweight and/or unattractive.
I don't think that the wealth of posts on this same tired issue is because there are more men than women on PoF
Of course it is. If more men have to deal with the read/deleted situation, it would make sense that more men would complain about it. Suppose there are 60 men and 40 women since the overall POF ratio is about 1.5 to 1 ( though it is much higher in certain areas and certain age groups ) . If 90% of men and women got few responses, that would be 54 men and 36 women who don't get many responses. More realistically a higher percentage of men few get responses because of the ratio and a higher percentage of men make initial contact. Suppose 90% of men and 50% women get few responses. Then that would be 54 men and 20 women who don't get many responses.
because women do start plenty of topics on the forums, just not these types of topics (at least not as often).
There are some things that are more likely to apply to women such as the rude/vulgar initial emails. | |
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